Pure Lust Vol. 4 (17 page)

The food smelled wonderful, but I was only able to eat a few bites of everything before I just couldn’t eat anymore. My appetite had been off ever since I’d woken up in the hospital. The doctor and nurses had assured me it was normal, although I’d assumed it was hospital food. Even though the meal laid in front of me was delicious, I still couldn’t eat more than a few bites.

Pressing a hand to my stomach, I looked over at the lady hovering nearby. With a faint smile, I said, “I’m sorry. I can’t remember your name.”

“It’s Helen, Miss Gabriella.”

“Call me Gabriella, please. Or Gabby. Just…no
miss
.”

She looked away. “I’m…well, it’s only considered appropriate. Won’t you eat some more?”

“I’m full, Helen. I want to take a shower and get out of this bed.” Rolling my eyes, I said, “I’ve spent enough time in bed.”

She looked like she wanted to argue, but thankfully, she didn’t. Apparently, that wouldn’t be
appropriate
either.

As she wheeled the cart out, I sat on the edge of the bed, waiting until I knew my legs were going to hold. Every day that passed left me feeling stronger and steadier, but there were still times when I’d go to stand up and my legs would be like Jell-O, my bones and muscles going to nothing so much as butter.

Today, though, I managed to stand up without needing to use anything to pull myself up or steady myself. There was only a twinge in my ribs before it settled back to the normal throbbing.

“Victory,” I muttered.

“Miss?”

The sound of Helen’s voice had me swaying and I flung out a hand, grabbing the column of the four-poster bed. She stood in the doorway, hands clasped behind her back.

“Nothing. Ah…I don’t need anything. You can…well, don’t you have other things to do than worry about me?” I hoped it hadn’t sounded as harsh to her as it had to my ears, but I hated having people hover over me. I hated it with a passion. I hadn’t even liked it when I’d been sick as a kid.

“Mr. Edward asked that I watch over you today and be there if you needed me.”

Suppressing the sigh, I pushed a hand through my tangled hair. “Right now, I don’t. The only thing I need is a shower. I’ll be downstairs in a bit and you can…”

Helen averted her face.

“Let me guess. Edward pretty much insisted you stay close by.”

She gave a small dip of her head, but still didn’t look at me.

“Fine. There are chairs out in the hall. You can wait out there.
Close by
is open to interpretation and I think you and I can both agree that you’ve satisfied your responsibilities as long as you’re close enough to hear me if I call your name.”
Which I won’t
, I thought stubbornly.

Helen hesitated, but she must have seen something on my face. Maybe she understood that I could take care of myself. She looked like a woman who did pretty much the same thing when she wasn’t taking care of other people. Finally, she nodded and disappeared from my sight.

I felt oddly vulnerable as I moved into the bathroom.

I’d been so ready to come home so I could finally have some privacy, but it looked like that would only happen if I forced the issue.

***

I came out of the shower feeling exhausted but accomplished. Wrapped in my warm, fluffy robe, I saw Helen out of the corner of my eye as she peeked into the bedroom. When she disappeared quickly, I pretended not to notice.

Dollars to donuts said she’d planted a chair close to my door. But I was okay with that. I at least had the illusion of privacy. Sometimes a person just had to take what they could get.

With my ribs throbbing, I tugged open the belt of my robe, coming to a stop in front of my closet. Soft clothes. I needed soft, smooth clothes. Nothing with a loose weave that would catch on my healing wounds and nothing that would rub against me either.

Robe hanging open, I tugged open the closet and froze.

It was a long, elegant column of silver. Not as formal as a traditional gown, yet lovely enough that I would have felt comfortable dancing with Edward as he stood before me in a tux.

My wedding gown.

Not the one I’d bought on that crazy trip out shopping with Kendra, but the one I’d picked up in a rush the afternoon before...the accident. It wasn’t the fairy tale dress. This was the one that said,
I’m a woman. I’ll do adult things even if it kills me
. But it said those words with a smile and a swing of her hips.

I’d bought that dress to marry Edward in an intimate ceremony, something that would bind us together in front of a small gathering of friends and family. The wedding that was supposed to be only mine, no taking over from Claire. It had been Edward’s compromise. And it had all been a waste. We’d be getting married in October after all.

I should tell Edward thanks,
I thought bitterly. If it hadn’t been for his insistence, I would have cancelled all of the October plans once we’d decided to have a small ceremony, even though I’d known it would piss Claire off. But I hadn’t done it.

Reaching out, I stroked a hand down the shimmering silver. It was surreal, standing here, a single woman who should have been married. Except for the fact that I’d decided to leave my bachelorette party early. I didn’t feel married. Would that have changed if we’d exchanged our vows? Would I have felt more like Mrs. Gabriella Bouvier if we’d done something so simple as saying
I do
? Did that really make that big a difference? Two simple words?

Except three words had made a huge difference not that long ago. Edward had said
I love you
.

Flynn had gestured toward the shower and brushed me off with just as many words, hadn’t he?

Looking away from the dress, I shoved my hands into the closet and searched for clothes, grabbing whatever came to hand.

“Miss Gabriella, is there anything I can do for you?” Helen asked from the doorway.

Stifling a sigh, I glanced back over my shoulder. “No.”

She hesitated there, one hand resting on the door jamb. “It’s okay, Helen.” Forcing myself to look back at the dress, I touched it once more. It was cool under my hands. I’d never wear it. I knew that now. It would only make me think of what I’d lost. “I was just thinking about the wedding.” A thought hit me and I grabbed the dress. “I changed my mind. There is something you can do. Donate this to…someplace. Find a charity that helps women or something. I can’t look at it anymore.”

“Oh, Miss Gabriella.” Her face softened. “You must be so disappointed.”

I knew it would sound terrible if I said the truth, that I didn’t know
how I felt about it, so I shrugged. “I’m alive. It could have been worse.”

“A positive way to look at it.” She nodded and hooked the dress over her forearm. “October will be before you know.”

Confused, I cocked my head.

“You look so sad.” She smiled gently at me. “Just remind yourself that October will be here before you know it.”

October
.

Idiot
, I thought. That was when I’d be married and strangely enough, I wasn’t even feeling that stressed about it. Something about almost dying seemed to put things in a weird sort of perspective.

Sighing, I moved over to the edge of the bed and sat down. She continued to watch me. With a tired smile, I shrugged again. “To be honest,” I said, “I’m more concerned about Cody right now. I can’t even think about the wedding.”

“Mr. Cody is young and strong. He’ll be fine.” Then she nodded and slipped out the door. I breathed out a sigh of relief when she actually tugged the door closed behind her, giving me some real privacy.

Oh, I had every reason to believe she was probably sitting outside the door, somewhere close, but I had what felt like real privacy for the first time in days.

***

It didn’t, however, last long.

I blinked groggily at the woman bending down over my bed and tried to figure out why I was seeing her here. “Kendra?”

“Hey, sleepyhead.” She cocked her head, glossy chestnut curls spilling over one shoulder as she bent down and studied my eyes closely, almost too closely. “It’s almost four and you’re still in bed.”

“I’m tired.” I smothered a yawn with my fist. “It’s almost four…and why are you here? Didn’t you say you had a big thing in Europe this week?”

She waved a hand. “It’s been rescheduled.” She settled a hip on the side of my bed. “Edward thought you’d like some company while you’re stuck in the house getting your strength back. He asked if I’d mind staying. He called earlier and Helen told him you were still in bed and he was…” She pursed her lips. “Well, we’re all worried about you, Gabs. I couldn’t very well fly to the other side of the world after what’s happened. I told Edward about it and he worked everything out so I can do the shoot next month.”

Oh, hell…

She waited expectantly.

It would
really
sound bad if I tried to tell her that all I wanted to do today was sleep and take it easy. Big eyes blinked at me. Those big, light green eyes were getting seriously famous. The latest billboard featuring her held only her eyes, a close-up that Flynn had shot. Heavily lashed, the color vibrant and full of life, Kendra stared down at all of Times Square from her lofty height.

Right now, she stared down at me from her lofty height and I wanted to bury my face in the pillow. “Go away,” I groaned.

I was too tired for this.

“You should get up,” she said, gently. “The doctor was very clear on this.”

Screw the doctor
.

But she wouldn’t stop and I knew it. Besides, my body was now too sore for me to go back to bed and the longer I lay there, the more my ribs started to protest. I eased my way upright and I glared at her through my bangs. “Go away,” I said again, my tone grumpy.

Kendra gave me a cheerful grin instead. “Since you’re up, you should come downstairs. Helen will get us some tea, a snack. You’ve lost weight. I’ll be waiting. Call if you need me.”

I tried to tell her I wasn’t hungry, but she was already moving out of the room, a whirl of graceful energy.

I had no energy. And when I swung my legs awkwardly off the bed, I could see that any grace I might have possessed was also gone. The sunshine drill sergeant was nowhere to be seen.

Groaning, I eased off the bed and started the long, miserable trek across the floor.

It was going to be a long day.

***

It turned out to be a long three days.

Each day I got stronger and the pain faded. My ribs were healing and I started taking less of my medication, which helped with the fatigue. But as the pain faded and my strength returned, my patience waned. When Kendra cut into a conversation with Paul, it snapped completely.

“Absolutely
not
!”

I swung my head around and gaped at her. She moved between my driver and me, hooking her arm through my elbow while Paul looked down at me, frowning. “You can go on, Paul. Gabriella and I will sit down and watch a movie—”

“Stop it,” I snapped.

Paul stepped around Kendra so that he was standing in front of me again. The ghost of a smile lurked at his mouth. Kendra frowned at him, but spoke to me. “If you’re too tired—”

“I’m not tired.” Planting my hands on my hips, I glared at her. “I want to go see Cody and dammit, that’s what I’m going to do.”

Kendra went to pat my arm. I knew exactly what she was going to do because she’d done it a dozen times since I’d woken up. I hadn’t wanted to eat the bland and boring oatmeal and she’d patted my arm—
it’s good for you
. I hadn’t wanted to do any yoga to stretch out my unbelievably sore body—
it’s good for you
. I had wanted a BLT for lunch—
it’s bad for you
.

I side-stepped away from her. If I heard her tell me, one more time, about what was good for me or bad for me, I just might do something that was bad for everybody and everything, including the friendship between me and Kendra. “Stop it. Please.” I took a deep breath before continuing, “Kendra, I know you’re trying to help and I know you’re here as a favor to Edward, but I think it’s time you went home.”

Eyes wide, hurt stamped all over her features, Kendra gaped at me. Shock flitted across her face for a brief moment and then she composed herself. It was like watching a master at work. In the span of a few heartbeats, she was smiling again. Turning away, she began to fuss around the already spotless living room where the two of us spent most of our time. Never mind that I hated this room. It was too pristine, too bright with its all white couches and sharp blue accents. “You’re just tired, honey. You know what the doctor said—”

“Yeah,” I cut her off. “The doctor said I should get back to my normal life as much as I can, as soon as I can.” Turning to Paul, I met his gaze. “I’m ready to go now. Are you?”

***

“Hey, at least you’ve got a pretty woman hanging around,” Cody said, a glower on his handsome face. “I’ve got Nurse Ratched and Dr. Evil.” He shot a glance at the door and then leaned in. “I tried to get up and take a piss and you’d think I’d just sicced a guerilla army on the whole damn hospital. They put a fucking
fall
alarm on me.”

I pressed my lips together, trying not to laugh at the insult on his face.

“Ah…” After a moment, I thought I could hold it together. “Well, did you fall?”

“Shit.” He tugged at the hem of a t-shirt that cost more than one of those nurses out there made on a day. Then he shrugged. “Yeah. So what? It was a fall. I hit my knee and caught myself. Not like I busted my head open and if I had—” He raised his voice, shouting now. “It would be my own fucking fault for not listening when they told me to call for help!”

A heavyset nurse with a beaming smile appeared in the doorway. Her eyes glinted with humor as she glanced from Cody to me and then back. “Did you call for help, Mr. Bouvier?”

“Bite me.” He sulked, looking for all the world like a petulant child.

I smacked the shoulder of his uninjured arm. “Hey, be nice.”

“Bite me
please
,” he said pithily.

Sighing, I looked over at the nurse. “I’m sorry. I think there’s a genetic flaw with his family that brings out the asshole in them when they are mad or not feeling well.”