Prude & Prejudice (2 page)

“
Why must you
always
be so clumsy
,
Prue
?
You are
right
about the orgasmic
nonsense
, though
. Maybe your ideas aren’t as daft as we all thought they were
.”

“
It’s o
rganic
for the ten thousandth time
,
Mum, and
it
’s
the way of the future. T
his just prove
s my point
,” she retorted.
“It’s not
my fault if the economy nose-dived
just after we changed the menu and advertising. Everyone has been having a hard time, not just us.”

“
T
ha
t’s why we must get in first
and convince
them to use our services
.
Harriet Cotter
will be
froth
ing at the mout
h to get over there
and persuade
them to
go to
Sweet Eats.
A couple of you girls must
go around as soon as they get here
and give them a nice
Higginbottom
welcome
. We’ll give them
a discount on any catering for the f
irst three mont
hs and
really lay it on with a shovel
about how much we care for the envi
ronment. That should probably be your job
,
Prue, but you’ll have to wear some make-up and do something with your hair for a change instead of getting around in those overalls
.
”

“I only wear overalls when I’m on the farm
,
Mum, you know that
.”

“
Well
,
they
are very unflattering
at any time
. You never know when a nice young man is going to come along, and he wouldn’t look twice at you dressed like that.”

“For god’s sakes Mum, we li
ve in the twenty-first century. Women don’t have to spend their lives plotting to land a husband anymore, and for your information…..”

“I’ll go
af
ter school one day,” interrupted
Mary.
“
I can pretend
to care about the environment
as easily as Prue
,
and t
he
re are sure to be some young guys
on their staff who will need someone to show them around town.”

“I’ll go wit
h you,” said Cate
. “This is the best news I’ve heard in a long time.”

“Is that all you two
care
abo
ut, picking up men?” said Prue
in mock disgust
.

“
Considering Cate’s
already broken every male heart
in this town
,
this must be
a
very
exciting
development
for her
indeed
,
”
said Alice.

Cate
stuck out her tongue
at her older sister
. “Just because you’
re
an old married woman now, you can’t stand seeing anyone else have fun.”

             
“
Chances are they are
probably all old married
men too
,” said Prue
. “I wouldn’t get my hopes up too much
if I were you
.”

             
“Julie
tte
Morris
met the two directors
when they came
to view
the building and she said
they
are young and goo
d looking,
”
said Mrs
Higginbottom
, taking a sip of her tea.

             
“Bu
t are they single?” asked Cate
.

             
“Well
,
she didn’t see any wedding rings on their fingers
,” replied her mother.

             
“I thi
nk this calls for a
celebration.
”
said Mary
, reaching for a bottle of their best red wine from the rack
behind her
.
“Who wants to join me?”

             
“I don’t think so
,
young lady,”
said her father
,
reaching across and
taking the bottle from her
hand. “When y
ou turn eighteen
then you can celebrate as much as you like
, but for now you’ll have to settle for a sof
t
drink
.”

             
“Spoil
sport.
This could be an important milestone in our lives.
”

             
“If those poor men knew what they were in for, they would turn around and head for
the hills,” he replied
. “
With you
women plotting to win their business and their hearts
, they don’t stand a chance.
”

             
“You
be
q
uiet,” said Mrs
Higginbottom
. “
y
ou
know nothing ever happens in this town. We’re entitled to get excited about something like this. We need the business, and if
one of the girls
catch
es
the eye of a director, all the better. I only want what’s best for them, and
if you were any kind of father
,
you would
too.”

             
“Yes
,
dear, what
ever you say,
”
he replied, returning to hi
s paper. As the only male in a
family
of five women
he had learned a long ti
me ago to hold his tongue
at times like this
.

****

Five
weeks later
Prue and Cate
pulled
up
outside
the
old bank building
in
the dilapidated van they used
when they were
catering
for
functions.
It was loaded to the brim with t
rays o
f
sandwiches and finger foods
.
They had
not had much need of it lately
while business was slow
and it had taken several attempts to get it started.

“Maybe now we can finally afford a new van,” Prue said. “This thing is
so
embarrassing.”
She glanced towards the building to see if they could get a park any closer to the door, and sh
e was surprised to see how
alive
it looked with people bustling
in and out
of
it
. For several years the grand old buil
ding had sat empty and forlorn,
and many had believed it would never be occupied again.

Prue
and Cate
had dropped thei
r mother and
sisters at the building
a couple of
hours earlier
to set up for Organic
Feast
s
f
irst
official function in
Merryton
. They
had then gone back to the café to
prepare more food
and await their mother’s call.
In addition to the staff
,
there were many gu
ests attending
from out of town
,
and it had turned into one of the biggest p
arties the family
had catered.
When Adelaide
Higginbottom
had
ph
oned them twenty
minutes earlier she
had sounded beside herself with worry. It was very important to all of th
em that this function proceed
smoothly
as
their
future business with
Organic
Feasts
was dep
endant on it, but
Prue feared that her mother’s
anxiety
would get the better of her
and cause her to say or do something they would all regret
.

Ever since she had received the phone call from the director to cater the
party their mother
had been in a state of nervous anticipation
.
She
had spent so much
time planning the menu and fussing over the ingredients and recipes
that one would have though
t
she was working for
the royal fam
ily
, and not a small organic products distributor
. D
espite
her daughter
s
’
unanimous protests she had
insist
ed on buying them
all
new
uniforms
to mark
the momentous occasion. The uniforms themselves wer
e not too bad
, but the shop
had run out of small sizes, and as Prue had been the last to arrive at the café that day, she was forced to take a jacket three times too large.

“But I look like a su
mo wrestler,” she had complained to h
er mother when s
he tried it on
that morning
.
“Why can’t I just wear my normal clothes?”

“
Nonsense, you look
fine. Do you really think anyone is going to be concerned with your appe
arance on such an important day?
R
eally
, Prue,
are so self-absorbed sometimes.
”

“I’m not self-absorbed at all. I
just
feel ridiculous
.”

“
It will look much sillier if one
of you is out of uniform. B
e a team player
for once
.
” She had relented because she knew there was no point arguing with her mother when she had set her mind on something, and they had too much wor
k to do to stand around debating the issue
. In
side she was still fuming
as she struggled to get out of the van without catching her jacket on the door. It didn’t help matters
that Cate’s uniform looked
so
cute on her
petite frame
.

“Why does Mum still insist on ordering us around like we’re children? I can’t believe I agreed to wear this.”

“The question is why do we still let Mum tell us what to do
when we’re grown women
?

Prue sighed.
“Because Mum is Mum.
You know it takes so much energy to disagree with her that we all just cave in. Sometimes I wonder if this family busine
ss is such a good idea
.
Mum wil
l never take us seriously
no matter how old we are.
”

“You know if
you were in business with someone else you’d be complaining about them instead. Nothing’s ever perfect,
and we
all
went into this with our eyes wide open
,
knowing we would be dealing with Mum every single day
. Q
uit your moaning
,
sister
,
and help me carry these trays upstairs.”

“Easy for you to say, you don’t look like
the Goodyear B
limp. Believe me
,
I’ve already spent enough of my life feeling this way, and this is bringing back a lot of bad memories.”

Cate giggled.
“
I’m sorry
,
Prue, but
I’m glad it’s you and not me
because I would not want
Charles
Bradley
to see me looking like that.”