Provider's Son (4 page)

“We split everything even. I dont want this to get dirty between us.”

“Shut up!” he shouted. “Jesus, just relax!”

“I am relaxed. Youre the one shouting.”

“Yes, because youre pissing me off. Youre acting like Im one hundred percent to blame.”

“You are. Ive spent years trying to communicate with you and got nowhere. I even tried building furniture with you, and you didnt even want me around for that.”

Levi leaned against the counter. “I know, I was just thinking about that. It was because of David. You knows that.”

“I dont believe you. I knows you loved him, but I dont believe thats why you didnt want to work with me. That shed is your getaway from me. It didnt take long to figure that out. Whenever I walks in there you acts like Im trespassing or something.”

“Now youre being foolish.”

“Whatever. It dont matter anymore. Theres someone else anyway.”

Levi felt as if his chest was pressing against his lungs. He forgot about the coffee and stared at Anita.

“Is you just trying to hurt me?” he said.

“Im not going to babysit you anymore. You needs your mother living with you, not a wife.”

“Answer me, how could you see —”

“The computer. I met him on the internet.”

Levi burst out laughing. “Oh, now it all makes sense! Thats why youre glued to the goddamn thing.” Still laughing he remembered the coffee and went over and put the pot under the filter. He turned it on the turned towards her again, leaning against the counter.

“Youre more stupid than I thought you was.” He didnt want to be insulting her but he couldn't help himself. “Jesus, I almost took you serious there for a second.”

“I dont blame you for not taking this serious,” she said. “You barely knows how to turn on a computer. But believe it or not Ted loves me and Im going to live with him. He already has everything ready for me to move in. Im leaving next week. Do you get it now? Do you understand that its really over?”

“Ted,” Levi said, “some goddamn nutcase you met on the internet. Is you off your head?”

“This is over,” she said, and got up to go into the bedroom, but Levi stepped forward, grabbed her by the arm, and yanked her back out into the kitchen.

“Where do you think youre going?” he said. “Going to tell Ted about our fight? My dear youre living in a dream world, and I knows just the cure.”

“Whats that now. That hurts, let go!”

Levi clenched just a little tighter, then let go. He grinned and marched into the bedroom. She followed him. He snatched the computer off the bed and shoved her out of the way as he walked back out. He was one hundred and ninety pounds with thin but solid arms. He didn't stop in the kitchen either, but went directly to the porch and began putting on his sneakers.

“I got files on that!” Anita said, trying to wrestle the laptop from him. Levi ignored her and headed out to his shed. She followed him in her socks. Once in the shed he threw the laptop on his workbench and went for his hammer. Anita tried to stop him and he pushed her away again, holding the hammer in the air, and brought it crashing down through the top of the laptop. Again and again he brought the hammer down, each time faster than before, bashing it to pieces. He stood back and caught his breath, surprised again by his own rage. Smashing the chair runner had been bad, but this time he had truly lost control.

“Youre not the only one who wanted to do that,” Anita said behind him. Levi turned around and saw that she was holding his ten pound mall over her head, with his latest rocking chair in the path of its arc.

“Dont you dare,” Levi said. “That chair whudnt made in China.”

Just as it seemed she would bring the steel head down through the wood she threw the maul onto the ground and laughed.

“Well, just think how lucky you are,” she said. “Now youll have all the time in the world to work on your chairs, because I wont be around to bother you.”

She walked out of the shed, sawdust clinging to her white socks. The strange thing was that a part of him had wanted her to bring the maul down on his chair, to complete the circle, to further justify what he had done.

Sea to Sea

As Levi stepped into the plane he was comforted by the unusually sincere smile of a flight attendant who, with her light hair and green eyes, reminded him of his daughter. Which also reminded him that he would not be alone at Erbacor. He had been alone for the last six months, desperately expecting a call from Alberta because his Employment Insurance was finished and the bills were racking up. Not including his MasterCard bill. He was seriously considering driving to Ontario when, luckily, the call came.

He was on the “milk run,” the cheapest flight available, so today was going to be a long one. Four stops, changing planes each time, one of which was in Vancouver, before flying back to Fort McMurray. He would be travelling past his actual destination in order to get to it.

Levi was not totally surprised when he got the call to go to work with Shale Energy in Alberta, a construction company contracting under Erbacor Energy. Sinead was a Safety Advisor with Erbacor Energy, and having gotten to know many in management with Shale, she managed to talk a supervisor into hiring Levi as an apprentice welder.

The lady on the phone told him he first had to pass a urine test.

“Oh, you dont have to worry about me,” Levi said.

“We still have to administer the test,” she said. “It tests for alcohol as well, and most narcotics actually.”

“Alcohol,” Levi said, “...but isnt there a bar on site?”

“Yes, there is a lounge, but thats only for men who arent working. We dont allow workers to be intoxicated while on the job. If you cant keep yourself from drinking the night before the test you will fail it. Will that be a problem for you?”

“Oh no no,” Levi said. “I just didnt understand what you were saying. No, that wont be a problem my dear. No problem at all.”

In her curt tone the lady proceeded to explain the booking instructions, and that he would be staying in Camp Wisti, all depending of course, on if he passed the urine test.

A call the next day confirmed his appointment. There was a testing center in Gander and he would be placed on the list for the coming Saturday. Although he liked having a drink or two or three on the weekends — especially since Anita left — he could hold back if he had to.

The call from Shale had been on a Wednesday, and even though he was glad at first, a strange uneasiness had begun to grow until Friday, the day before the urine test. It began with a tingling sensation in his shoulders and an odd shortness of breath, followed by a steady stream of burps. And as if all of these physical sensations weren't enough, there was the nagging feeling of dread. He wondered if it had something to do with his blood pressure. The feeling persisted all day, disappearing for an hour and then coming back stronger than before. The tingling in his shoulders would have almost felt good if it wasn't followed by the shortness of breath. He picked up the phone and called Anita. She was the only person he ever shared his problems with, and now that she was gone he realized that having no shoulder to lean on was the hardest part of being alone.

“Honest to God, Anita, I feels like Im going to pass out,” he told her after he explained the sensations.

“Honestly, it sounds to me like a panic attack,” Anita said.

“Panic attack? I got nothing to panic about. Im going out west where the big bucks is. What have I got to panic about? Im happy.”

“You dont sound like it. Youve gone through a lot lately — we both have. That kind of stuff brings it on.”

“Oh. You thinks you caused this. Must make you feel some good.”

Anita sighed. “Oh Levi...”

“My dear I can do just fine without you,” he said, and immediately wished he had not. Then there was a man's voice in the background, the first time he ever heard the Other Man. The worst thing was that he didn't know much about her boyfriend, other than that his name was Ted Crosings and he ran a string of fast food franchises in Ontario called Barnys Big Burger. Apparently it was the fastest growing burger franchise in Canada, with at least one in every province. There were four in Ontario, and Ted ran all of them.

He hung up and went directly to the fridge and snatched a beer
.
Drinking was something he automatically did on the weekends, and to have an excuse only made it that much more likely. The alcohol made the bodily sensations go away. It wasn't until the ninth beer when he noticed the number of the drug testing office he had written on a piece of paper and remembered about the urine test the next day. He cursed his stupidity and ran into the washroom, ramming his index finger down his throat.

He had once heard something about Cranberry juice filtering out the liver, so he went to the store and bought two 2-litre bottles of
Cranberry Cocktail
, drinking the four litres in less than two hours, and after the last mouthful vowing to never drink cranberry juice again for the rest of his life. He went into his bedroom, flopped spread-eagle down on the bed, and passed out.

When he awoke the next morning he groaned when he remembered what he had done, but there was nothing to do except hope for a miracle. The only positive thing was that he drank so much juice he didn't have a hangover to face along with the two-hour drive. Although he did have the longest urination of his life.

He had trouble finding the urine testing center, because instead of it being located in a hospital, it was tucked away in some nurse's house with a little sign in the window. At one point he was tempted to turn around and head back to Gadus. How could he possibly pass the test after drinking nine beers the night before? He kept searching, however, and found the house. A half dozen men stood outside the door because there was no waiting room. They had to wait outside until each one of them was called in.

All the men, even the one who looked no older than eighteen, had worked in Alberta before. Levi hated being a greenhorn. He wanted to contribute to the conversation, but all he could do was listen. Eventually they started joking about the “piss test” and how perhaps one of them might not pass it. The young guy half jokingly said he hadn't touched the “wacky baccy” in a month.

“If you had a few beer the night before could you still pass?” Levi said. The men turned to him and grinned.

“How many is a few?” said a man with a handlebar moustache.

“Two or three,” Levi said.

The tallest one of them, who had not talked as much as the rest, said, “You should be alright. Theyre just looking for people who got drunk the night before, like a dozen, like that. Theyre looking for people with a problem. Alcoholics in other words.”

“You didnt go on the booze did you?” a young man said.

“No young fella I didnt go on the booze,” Levi responded, not appreciating the smirk on his face.

Another car pulled up and out of it stepped Ray Lynwood, an old classmate of Levi's.

“I whudnt expecting to see you here, stranger,” Ray said, shaking Levi's hand.

“Me either,” Levi said. “I havent laid eyes on you since I dont know when. Where do you live now anyway?”

“Here in Gander. The last time I was talking to you you was a fisherman. What happened?”

Levi filled him in on the fiasco with his brothers, but he didn't include the breakup with his wife.

“I got to ask you a really weird favour ol buddy,” Levi said under his breath. He led Ray away from the rest of the men.

“What do you want, me to piss in a cup for you?” Ray said, with a snort.

“Not a cup,” Levi said.

“Is you fuckin serious? You wants to use me piss? You into the coke now or what?”

“Jesus no, by. I forgot about the piss test and got drunk last night. I honestly dont think Ill pass it.”

“Youre serious. You havent changed, Levi.”

“Im dead serious. I wont be able to sneak a cup in the washroom, but I got sandwich bags in the truck. You could go over there behind that tree and piss in the bag for me. Zip it over and Ill put it in me pocket.”

“Piss behind that tree? Theres houses here everywhere.”

“Well, go piss in the car then. I needs this job, Ray. Im fucked for money.”

Levi saw pity on Ray's face and for that moment he hated him for it.

“Alright,” he said, laughing. “Fuck it. For old times sake. Go get the bag. Jesus, what I wouldnt be at.”

Levi slapped him on the back and ran to get the bag, afraid that he might be the next one called in. Ray took the bag and went to the car. A few minutes later he came back and discreetly passed the warm bag along to Levi.

“I owes you one,” Levi said.

“I never knew a bag of piss could be worth so much. I should start selling it. I hope to hell I got enough left in me for my sample.

”As the hour passed each man ahead of Levi got called in, until finally it was his turn. He went in and the nurse took his coat. Only by luck he had tucked the bag of urine inside his jeans instead of in his coat. He didn't realize that this was also good because it kept the urine warm. If the sample had been cool the nurse would have turned it down. She asked him a few questions about his identity, got him to sign a few forms, and then gave him the sample cup. She told him where to find the washroom, and he had to walk past her husband and two teenage daughters in the living room. There was blue dye in the toilet and the flush handle was taken off. He took out the bag and poured its contents into the cup, which wasn't easy seeing as it was a Ziplock sandwich bag. Half of it spilled over his hands and he squirmed in disgust. Once the cup was full he rushed to the sink to wash his hands. He didn't notice that the nozzle of the tap was taped over with scotch tape. Water squirted out of the sides of the tape all over him and the walls. He quickly turned it off but the damage was done. He didn't know which was worse, she thinking that he peed all over himself, or that he tried to tamper with the sample.