Protector of the Flame (46 page)

Even if they had a chance to voice their complaint, they had no assurance the Great Council would vote in their favor. They needed five votes from all three Houses. They’d get all three from Herut. Without Nefertiti on Aten’s Council, she had no idea how they’d get four, much less five.

It was more than a gamble. They were betting their lives, fixed-odds stacked against them a million to one. Everything hinged on Neith’s plan.

A plan the ancient beauty kept to herself.

Each day was like waiting for a guillotine to fall on their necks, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the Book of Destiny and Adriel. The past wasn’t destined to repeat itself. Yet the more she thought of Adriel, the more she wondered.

“Feeling okay?” Cyrus asked, bringing her back to the moment.

She looked at him, and then glanced around the dining hall, searching. People were seated at eight tables closest to the kitchen, the rest were empty. “I just have a headache.”

“No surprise. All you do is worry. You even worry in your sleep. Now you’re waking up screaming from nightmares you can’t remember.” He rubbed her tight shoulders. “This pervasive tension isn’t good for you. It can’t be good for the baby. How about a proper massage later?”

There he was. Adriel came out of the kitchen and placed a platter of food and clay pitcher at a table. She was relieved to only glimpse him at dinner since he started working in the kitchen, but his absence didn’t bring solace. His complexion had grown sallow and dark circles formed under his morose eyes. He looked worse than Cyrus had when she and the baby were draining him.

“That sounds nice,” she said.

He cupped her face, commanding full attention. “The more time we spend together the further away you seem. You’re quiet and pensive all the time. Standing right in front of me, looking at me, your mind is somewhere else.”

Hugging him, she buried her face in his chest. “No more worrying for the rest of the evening. Let’s eat.”

They went to Nakia’s table where Caelius and their warriors ate.

“Cyrus, Serenity,” Caelius said in acknowledgement as they sat.

The others removed their swords from the table and nodded hello. The warriors had swords with them at all times. She’d even seen a couple take them to the showers.

She rubbed the leather hiding the blade strapped to her wrist. Cyrus had insisted she carry her crossbow as well. The quiver he had made held the bow and bolts and fit comfortably on her back.

A pitiful frown hung on Nakia’s face as she mouthed something silently to herself, playing with her food.

Adriel and Lazarus joined their table. Serenity stiffened. They usually kept their distance at mealtime. Not that it made things easier, only more awkward. They hadn’t spoken since that night in Neith’s office. Adriel sat next to Nakia, across from Serenity, but made no eye contact.

Serenity poured Cyrus a bowl of soup, wanting to meet Adriel’s eyes, just for a second. The sharp decline in his appearance was more than a little troublesome. Spero, Ptolemy and Micah finished their food and collected their swords.

“Nakia!” Caelius banged his fist on the table. The warriors stopped. Everyone stared. “Stop. Mumbling.”

Spero looked to Cyrus.

“It’s fine,” Cyrus said. Spero nodded and left with Ptolemy and Micah.

“You won’t see me in private and now you won’t allow me to speak at mealtime.” Her small voice quivered.

“I don’t see you in private because you go too far. And you may speak at meals, but I ask you to refrain from indecent speech.”

She dropped her spork and looked up at him. Tears cradled her eyes. “Why won’t you make love to me?”

Cyrus choked on his food. Serenity did her best to hide a smirk. Adriel stared at his plate.

“This type of conversation is inappropriate.” Caelius poured more wine in his cup.

“Don’t you want me? Doesn’t your body feel the same need that mine does?”

“I have no need of a child. You shouldn’t speak of such things.”

“I’m sixteen, practically a woman, and you said we might not live through this.”

Despair plagued them all, but Serenity had to survive for Cyrus and the baby. Any other thoughts she couldn’t allow.

“It was weak of me to say such a thing. We’ll prevail.” He guzzled his wine and poured another cup. “When you grow into the body of a woman, we’ll discuss it then.”

“Oh Cae, once I’ve become a woman there shouldn’t be any need for discussion. You should rip off my clothes and ravish my body,” she said, clutching her chest.

A low growl erupted from Caelius and he gripped the edge of the table.

Nakia’s bottom lip jutted out in a pout and she leaned away from him against Adriel’s arm. “Ralph loved Meggie since she was four,” she uttered in a trembling voice. “Their love is so much like ours. And even though the great Cardinal De Briccarsart made vows to God, he broke them all because he loved her. If a cardinal can break his vows to make love to the woman who captured his heart, why can’t you make love to me?”

Caelius glowered at Nakia. “What are you talking about? What new filth are you reading?”

Serenity lowered her gaze and put a spoonful of soup in her mouth.

“
The Thorn Birds
. It’s so much better than
Romeo and Juliet
. Ralph and Meggie make love and have a baby instead of dying.”

“I’ve lost my appetite,” Cyrus said. “Serenity, you don’t seem to be very hungry, perhaps we should leave.”

Her mate knew the book was only one of two that she’d packed.

“Where did you get it?” Caelius reached over Nakia and grabbed Adriel by the collar. “I told you not to bring her any more magazines or books from the mainland.”

Serenity glared at Caelius. One good whip of her energy pool would set him straight. If only her
ingenium
was working. Lazarus poised to act, fists tightening.

“Let the boy go.” Cyrus stood and placed a hand on Caelius’s forearm.

“How can you of all people protect him?” Caelius asked.

“I’m protecting you, not him. Let him go.”

Caelius released him and Cyrus sat back down.

“I gave the book to Nakia,” Serenity said.

Caelius’s eyes burned with anger. “You’ve heard the depraved filth spewing from her corrupted mouth since you got here. Why would you encourage her by giving her smut?”

“It isn’t smut. It’s literature. She’s confused by the feelings she’s having. You could try to be more sympathetic.”

“When I try to be sympathetic, she preys on my emotions and turns into a…” He stopped and took a breath. “Don’t give her any more literature,” he spat. Then he looked at Cyrus. “Working in the fields used to help. It tired my body and mind. Now, I’m in the orchard and it’s not enough.” He shook his head. “When you’ve finished your meal, I could use your counsel.”

“Of course,” Cyrus said.

“You can find me in the garden when you’re done.” He grabbed his dishes and stormed away.

Nakia slumped over, elbows on the table and rested her chin on her fists. “Cyrus, if you and Serenity were in our position, would you wait to take her to your bed?”

Cyrus went rigid as one of the stone pillars. “I’d like to think I’d have the same discipline and self-control as Caelius.”

“Yes, he’d wait,” Serenity said. “He even made me wait when we met last year.”

Nakia’s jaw dropped. “You males are such strange beasts.”

“Cyrus, since you’ll be occupied with Caelius, may Serenity and I play chess?” Adriel asked, eyes cast to the table. His normally bright flame was dim, his weary face thinner than usual and he hadn’t touched his food.

Cyrus took a sip from his cup. “One or two games, and then she’s all mine.”

“Thank you, brother. You’re most kind.”

“Will you join them Nakia?” Cyrus asked.

“Neith forbade me to spend long intervals of time with Serenity because the baby messes up everyone’s powers.”

Talus plopped down at the table along with five other sentinels and unstrapped their swords. She threw food onto her plate and her chest heaved.

“I’m sure Talus would love to join you two after dinner,” Cyrus said, seemingly determined she wouldn’t spend time alone with Adriel.

“Of course I would,” Talus purred with sarcasm. “That’s why I exist. To serve everyone else while I’m not allowed to have a life.”

“What’s this about?” Cyrus asked.

She bit her trembling bottom lip and shook her head.

Serenity rubbed his leg. “Caelius is waiting, you should go find him. I’ll speak to Talus.”

After searching her eyes, he kissed her and left the table.

“I’ll go get the game and meet you in the lounge,” Adriel said, not bothering to finish his food.

“I know why you’re upset.” Serenity scooted down the table and put her hand on Talus’s arm. “We could all die tomorrow if any of us makes a mistake. You’re a warrior. You can’t afford to be distracted. If we live through this, I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you have a life of your own. And I’ll speak to Cyrus so that no one stands between you and what your heart wants.”

It might have been too big a promise, but no one had the right to stand in the way of her having a relationship with Micah.

Talus leaned across the table and hugged her. “Thank you, sister.”

Adriel waited in the lounge with the chessboard set. Other than a couple talking quietly in a corner, the lounge was empty. With everyone on edge, carefree evenings of enjoying a breeze and relaxing in the lounge were done.

Sitting across from him, she met his penetrating gaze. They only had a minute or two before Talus finished her meal and joined them.

“Did you go back and read it?” he asked.

“No.”

“Then why are you avoiding me?”

She looked down at the board. “Why don’t you want me to know what’s in the book?” Bellona had only set the stage for Florian’s sins.

“If you know, you’ll hate me.”

The words bit her heart. “Death is coming. Do you feel it?” He moved to the edge of his seat.

She nodded.

“I don’t want that book to taint your image of me if I fall. I did something unspeakable in my past life, but I’m not that person. I want you to judge me on what I do in this life. I want you to remember me as you know me now. Can you understand?”

Oddly enough, she did. She couldn’t tell him she knew the truth of their past lives. “Yes.”

“Then stop punishing me by avoiding me, by distrusting me.” Pain seeped through his fractured voice. “I can’t take much more. Can’t you see what it’s doing to me?”

“I’ve only been punishing myself.”

The baby shifted, pressing down on some organ, causing her to rub her back to alleviate the pain. The days of popcorn going off in her stomach were over. Strong kicks against her slightly rounded and firm belly made her shirt shift from the movement.

Talus sat beside Serenity. She looked down at her stomach and raised her eyebrows.

“The baby’s kicking,” Serenity explained as it looked like someone poked her shirt from the inside. She wondered if humans experienced the same degree of discomfort.

“Your top hangs so loosely it’s hard to tell you’re pregnant. Can I feel?”

She nodded and Talus caressed her stomach. Longing to do the same ran deep in Adriel’s eyes.

“Do you want to feel?”

In reflex, he glanced out at the garden, looking for Cyrus, and then slid down on the other side of her. He put his hands at the base of her belly.

Serenity took one of his hands and repositioned it to where the baby moved. At a strong kick or punch that stole her breath, he smiled.

Sothis crossed the lounge, sword strapped to her back, headed to start patrol.

“Mom, Sothis,” she corrected.

Her mother walked over. The couple on the other side crossed her path as they left the lounge. “Yes.”

“The baby is always moving or kicking.” She shifted in her seat. Adriel returned to the sofa and Talus removed her hands. “I can’t get comfortable at night.”

“Get extra pillows. Try sleeping on your side and putting a couple between your legs.” Sothis turned to walk away.

“How far along were you when you had me?”

“You were late. You didn’t want to come out. I was about to hit my fiftieth week when my water broke.”

“What about when Aurora had you?”

Sothis sighed, looking impatient. “I came on time as most do.” She stepped closer. “You’re still very small.” She reached out and touched Serenity’s stomach. The baby kicked and her mother’s hand recoiled as if she’d been stung.

“I feel like a whale.” She missed the days of quick, effortless movement, now hampered by slow, clumsy steps.

“You look beautiful,” Adriel said.

Sothis glanced at him, and then at her. “You’re much smaller than I’d expect for five months, but you still have six more months to go.”

Serenity shifted in her seat, trying to get comfortable. Adriel pulled a couple of cushions from a nearby sofa. She stood and he placed one in her seat and the other against the back of the sofa. His fingers grazed her shoulder as she sat back down.