Protecting My Hart (Protectors Series Book 1) (2 page)

As I try to drown out the noise coming from the other side of the door, I remind myself that this really isn’t the worst place I have ever lived; I just don’t know how I keep getting myself into these situations. Someday I would love to leave here and move to Montana. It’s really pretty there, and it’s far enough away that I could escape my childhood. See, my mother died from a drug overdose when I was six, so it was just me and my father. For a while, it wasn’t bad, but my father drank a lot, and I became what he took his anger out on. One night when I was about thirteen, he was way past blitzed and he came into my room. I was scared and had no idea what was going on but also had no way to stop it. He was on top of me, he was inside me. It happened. Then it continued to happen. I knew then it was wrong, and it always hurt, but I figured out that the less I fought it, the less time it took. It also didn’t make him mad, which was good, because then I didn’t end up becoming his punching bag for the night.

For three years I did what I had to do to survive and not make life difficult. I tested for and received my GED at sixteen. I also worked every day after school and on the weekends. Once I had enough money, I bought a car and escaped. My intention was to drive to Montana, only I didn’t make it very far. My car broke down in Detroit and with no one to call for help, I lived out of my car in a store parking lot for two months before JD found me and moved me here to Lachine. When I first met JD, I fell in love almost instantly. He is ten years older than me and such a looker. When he smiled at me for the first time I swear I saw the sun. Being only sixteen and having no real knowledge on love at all, I fell into his charm. He was nice at first, took care of me, but he expected stuff in return. Sex, to be specific, and well, I figured that was how the world worked; men did stuff for you, they expected sex. So, I let him have sex with me. Again, he was nicer at first, but still took what he wanted when he wanted it no matter what it did to me. I guess I’m lucky in some ways; the other girls around here don’t have the luxury I do. They get passed around all the time, sometimes are with more than one of the guys at the same time. JD doesn’t like to share, so I became his gal. He
does
take care of me I guess. I mean, I have a house to live in, food to eat, and a bed to sleep in. Even if it’s in a house with a bunch of other men who scare the living shit out of me. Even if some bad shit goes down here, I stay quiet and pretend that I don’t see anything. I don’t ask questions. I learned the hard way that questions lead to bruises. It could be worse…right?

What I think is a few hours later, I hear footsteps getting closer to my room and my heart begins to race. They never bother me when JD is gone but the terror still increases. Pulling the blankets up further and tighter around me, I keep my eyes closed hoping whoever it is will think I’m asleep if they come in here. There is a knock on the door, my heart begins to race faster, then I hear the door open, and I stop breathing.

“Hart? You awake?” The sweet softness of the most perfect voice reaches my ears.

“Slyde?” his name rushes out with the breath I was holding.

“Yeah, it’s me.” His voice brings instant relief and relaxation to my body.

“Oh thank god! You scared the shit out of me! I thought it was one of them.” I sit up and watch as his dark frame enters the room and closes the door. I lean over and turn on the lamp on my bedside table.

“I’m sorry, mi Tesoro. I didn’t mean to scare you, but I know that JD left a few hours ago, and I also know you haven’t left this room since and that you might be hungry.” Slyde states easily and sets a plate on the bedside table before giving me a smile. God, I love his smile; it’s so natural, never forced—at least around me it’s not. I have seen his forced smile a few times when business deals were taking place, those smiles were always different. I never get those smiles, I always get this one.

“Thank you for bringing me something to eat.”

“My pleasure. I know you don’t like going out there when JD’s not here.”

“Are you… Are you going to be around?” I ask nervously.

“Yeah, since he’s gone I’ll be here.” His answer allows me to let out a sigh of relief. Slyde is pretty much second-in-command here, and I know that I’m safe if he’s here. I have always felt safe around him.

“Good. That makes me feel better,” I state softly.

“Eat, Hart.” He hands me the plate with a sandwich and chips while placing a bottle of water on my nightstand. I eat while he tells me stories about a couple of his friends outside of this house. I love hearing about them and feel like I know Beamer and Kash. They sound like good guys and funny too.

Slyde has been here longer than me and has always been tight with JD. When I first got here, I was uneasy, but JD made me feel safe; he promised that nothing and no one here would hurt me. I believed him, and for a brief time I felt safe with him, but like everything good in my life, that didn’t last. I quickly discovered that some seriously bad shit went down here. Also, JD didn’t like it if I knew anything about his business, and he really didn’t like it if any of his men looked at me. Never blamed
them,
though, it was always
my
fault. Though for whatever reason, he never got mad about Slyde. He’s the only one that I’m allowed to talk to or be around without JD getting pissed.

Over the last five years I have fallen in love with Slyde. He is tall with dark skin, Hispanic. His hair is a deep, rich, dark brown that curls around his eyes. Oh my, his eyes are the deepest purest blue that I have ever seen. Slyde’s body is solid muscle; broad shoulders and strong arms. His torso doesn’t narrow, instead it forms a perfectly straight line from his shoulder to his hips. Again, all muscle. His legs are strong too, and when he walks, he walks with a purpose, an easy, confident, determined stride. It’s not just his looks though, Slyde isn’t like the rest. He doesn’t mess around with the women here, and I know he doesn’t partake in the drugs in the house either. Once or twice I have seen him drink a beer or two, but he never over indulges. I think that’s why JD trusts him. Regardless of what happens in this house and on their ‘trips’, Slyde is a kind man, he is good. He has always taken care of me, been sweet and nice. I know it’s mostly because he feels sorry for me being stuck here. I’d love for him to put me on the back of his bike and ride away with me, but that is just a silly fantasy that will never come true. Why would he want someone like me? Someone who was physically, emotionally, and sexually abused by her father. Who doesn’t get treated much better by her boyfriend or whatever he is. I’m not exceptionally pretty or smart, and besides, I’ve been claimed which means I’m off-limits. Even if JD got rid of me, I would just be trash again, and a beautiful, kind man like Slyde Cardoane deserves much better than the trash that is me. Regardless, I couldn’t help but fall completely in love with him, even knowing the feelings will never be returned. I secretly live for moments like this when he is sweet, kind, and I get his smiles.

Finishing my food, I put the plate back on the table and thank him again with a smile. His eyes almost sparkle and my heart starts racing again but in a completely different way than from fear. God, what I wouldn’t give for one night with this man.

“I’ll let you get some sleep, Hartley. I’m just down the hall if you need me, but don’t worry, they won’t bother you.”

“Thank you, Slyde.”

“Happy dreams, Hart.” He states softly and pulls the blankets up around me, and gently brushes the hair off my cheek. Thankfully, it’s not the cheek that got smacked earlier; I do my best to hide my marks and bruises from him. He switches off the light and I hear him whisper, “Sleep, mi Tesoro. Sleep.” The door opens, and he disappears into the hall. My room is dark again, but this time there is a peace surrounding me, and I soon find myself asleep.

The house is quiet when I wake up, and the sky itself is just starting to wake up as well, showing off gorgeous pinks and purples. I love this time of day. It’s fresh, it’s new, and it’s really the only part of my day that is truly peaceful. It’s also the only time I feel safe leaving my room alone. Sliding out of my bed and heading into the restroom, I quickly relieve myself, brush my teeth, and redo my ponytail. Quietly, I slip out of my room and down the hall to the kitchen, so grateful for the silence of the sleeping house. I decide on eggs and toast for breakfast. While the eggs cook, I make a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches since they will keep all day, and I won’t be hungry later. The milk in the fridge is bad, and someone drank the rest of the juice, so water it is. I quickly clean up my mess so I won’t be in trouble and gather my food. As I’m making my way back to my room, I hear movement and voices, so I hurry down the rest of the hallway and into my room closing the door softly behind me.

After eating my breakfast, I take a hot shower and dress in comfortable clothes; it’s not like I’m leaving the house or anything. I’ve just finished brushing my hair when I notice the book on my nightstand. Picking it up, I realize it’s not one of mine, it’s new and has a picture of a gorgeous blue butterfly in a jar on it. This book wasn’t here last night, and there is a piece of paper sticking out.

Butterfly caught my attention.

Hope it’s good.

Slyde.

The smile on my face is wide and a warm feeling flows through me. Slyde is really the only one who knows my love for books. JD knows I like to read and he lets me buy books on occasion or lets me go to the library, but he ignores me when I talk about them or makes fun of me for falling in love with fake people. Slyde, on the other hand, asks about the books I’ve read when we have our conversations. He listens to me when I explain the magic of these books and describe the worlds these authors create and how amazing it is to escape and live in the same world as the characters even if it’s just for a little while. I’m sure he gets bored, but like I said, Slyde is a nice guy and knows that I don’t get to interact much, so he lets me talk. He started bringing me books about two years ago when I had asked JD if I could go to the library so I could get some new ones and JD got pissed. He yelled that I was interrupting business. Later that night, I woke up to find a new book on my nightstand and my first note from Slyde. Because I had already fallen in love with him, I kept the note and all the other notes that accompanied my new books, in a small box in the drawer of my nightstand which is exactly where I place the new one. Excited about my new book, I open the window and settle back into bed, anxious to see what magical world this blue butterfly is going to take me to.

“Bitch, wake up!” I’m shoved roughly and sit up quickly in bed. I must have fallen asleep while I was reading because it’s now dark outside and Tiny and Griz are in my room. I never heard them come in.

Tiny and Griz live in the house as well and they are my least favorite. I catch Griz watching me all the time and the way he looks at me in an almost predatory way always, always, always makes me super uneasy, and the fact that he is in my room right now has me very uncomfortable. Tiny is quieter, but not by much; he too watches me and his looks are just plain creepy.