Protecting Alabama (SEAL of Protection Book 2) (15 page)

He continued. “As you know, we’d just spent ten days in a third world country hellhole. I can’t tell you what we were doing or why we were there, but as I’m sure you can guess, it wasn’t to be diplomatic and “talk” to anyone. But while we were waiting to get home, Abe and I talked. This was the first mission since you guys had gotten together. He was missing you and worried about you. It drove him crazy because he’d never felt that way while on a mission before. He made mistakes. Nothing that would get him or us killed, but mistakes nevertheless. It was eating at him. We talked about how to handle it. I did the same thing on my first mission after getting together with Caroline. He was glad to be going home, to you. We hadn’t had much sleep. In fact, I think he’d been awake for forty four hours or something like that. He went home straight to you, and the two of you probably didn’t get much sleep that night either.” Wolf smiled.

Alabama blushed. Wolf didn’t comment on it, but squeezed her hand. “We’d just gone over the mission and discussed the mistakes that were made. He was feeling raw. He felt as if he’d let us all down. Then he heard about you, what you’d allegedly done. He was running on adrenaline and about three hours sleep in the last three days. He’d just learned how many mistakes he’d made because he’d been thinking about you and not about the job. He wasn’t thinking straight, and he was hurting and embarrassed. He couldn’t separate what his dad did in his mind, with what you were accused of. I know what he said to you was unforgiveable, Alabama. We’re all pissed at him.”

Alabama looked up at that. She was embarrassed all the guys knew what had happened, but she also suddenly felt bad for Christopher. These were his friends. She was a newcomer to their group, shouldn’t they be on his side?

“Can you forgive him Alabama?”

Alabama looked down at her lap. If it hadn’t happened to her she could’ve forgiven him in an instant. But it
had
happened to her.

Faulkner squeezed her shoulder without a word and got up from the chair next to her and left the room. Alabama looked over and saw that her lawyer had also left. She took a deep breath and looked at Matthew.

“I don’t know.” She whispered, answering Matthew honestly.

“Try, Alabama. Try. True love only comes along once in your life. That man loves you. He’d die for you. Trust me. I know.” Matthew stood up, took her hands in his, kissed the back of both, ignoring the dirt, and left the room.

Alabama sat at the table thinking. What should she do now? She had no idea. She was a free woman, but still didn’t have any money to her name. She looked toward her bag which she’d left by the door and gasped.

Christopher stood by the closed door silently watching her. How long had he been there?  She watched as he slowly slid to the ground and finally came to a rest with his back against the door, his legs drawn up in front of him. He didn’t say anything, but continued to stare at her intently.

Alabama stood up on shaky legs and crossed to the other side of the table. She wasn’t scared of him physically, but putting distance between them was the only thing she could do at the moment to feel safe.

Abe cringed at her actions. He closed his eyes briefly then opened them again. “I deserve your mistrust. I do. I know it. But it kills me to see it. If it takes me the rest of my life I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”

Alabama didn’t know what to do. One part of her wanted to leap out of her seat and rush to Christopher. The other part, the six year old who’d been locked in a closet over and over and had learned not to expect kindness, kept her standing in place and silent.

Abe sighed. Jesus. He hadn’t let himself think about what he’d said to her that day in the interrogation room. She’d been scared to death and so relieved to see him, and he’d done the unthinkable. He’d thrown her love back in her face as if it meant nothing.

“If it matters, you should know I’ve ruined Adelaide.”

When he said nothing more, Alabama raised an eyebrow at him.

“She might be facing charges for making that stuff up about you, but she’ll definitely find out soon enough she shouldn’t have messed with you.”

“Christopher.” Alabama’s voice was tortured and rusty from lack of use. She never wanted him to do something like that for her. What if he got in trouble because of what he’d done? She didn’t know
what
he’d done, but he obviously had the connections to do all sorts of things.

“Jesus, sweet.” Abe choked out. He hated hearing how wobbly her voice was. She’d gone from speaking freely, to not talking at all in the space of a few weeks. And it was all his fault.

Alabama forced the tears back. She’d missed him calling her “sweet,” but she wasn’t ready to trust him again yet. She couldn’t.

“I hate that you don’t feel safe around me, Alabama. I know it’s my own fault. I know it, but I hate it. I want you to feel safe. I’ll do whatever it takes for you to have that again. I hope to Christ I can be in your life when it happens, but if not, I’ll deal. It’s more important for me to know you’re safe, happy, and protected.”

Now Alabama was crying.

Abe continued, forcing himself to stay seated and not rush across the room to hold her and tried to ignore her tears. Each one gutted him. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I was wrong. I was an asshole. I hurt you and I should’ve trusted you. It was inexcusable for me to say what I did. You know what I’m talking about.”

She did. Alabama wasn’t ready to forgive him, but his simple, straightforward apology went a long way. She didn’t know many people who could come right out and admit they were wrong. Not to mention apologize for it in the same sentence. 

“I’d do anything, and I mean
anything
to take it back, but I can’t. All I can do is move forward and let you know it won’t happen again. I know you won’t believe that now, but I can say with one hundred and twenty percent certainty, I won’t let you down again.”

Abe took a deep breath. He knew Alabama wouldn’t come running into his arms, but it still hurt to see her cowering behind the table on the other side of the room.

“Caroline is here to take you to her house. They got all your stuff that was left in your apartment and put it in storage when you were evicted. They went and got it all yesterday and moved you into their basement. You can stay there as long as you want. I talked to one of the Navy counselors on base and told her a little about you. She’d really like to talk to you…if you want. I left her information with Caroline. I’ll stay away. You don’t have to run to escape talking to me.”

He took another breath and stood up slowly and gripped the doorknob to keep himself in place. “I know you hate me, sweet, and I don’t blame you. But rest assured, I hate myself more. You didn’t deserve this. You deserve someone better than me. You deserve someone who won’t let you down. I hope like hell you can forgive me someday though.”

Abe opened the door and gestured to Caroline that he was done. Wolf had allowed her to come with him and she’d been waiting in the hallway. She brushed by him, completely ignoring him, and rushed into the room to her friend.

Wolf stood off to the side in the hallway waiting for Abe as he exited the room.

“So?”

“She listened.”

“And?”

“Don’t know. It’s up to you to convince her to stay. I’m sure she wants to bolt. I can’t say I blame her. Take care of her, man.”

“Oh, don’t give me that shit, Abe. You aren’t giving up on her. You can’t. You wouldn’t let me give up on Caroline; I won’t let you give Alabama up.”

“It’s not up to me, Wolf. Ball’s in her court. It’s not the same as with you and Ice. I wouldn’t blame her if she never said another word the rest of her life, that’s how badly I screwed up. But I hope you and Caroline can get through to her. Get her to see that counselor.”

Wolf put his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “We’ll do what we can. She’ll come around. She loves you.”

“And I love her. More than I ever thought I could ever love someone. But I hurt her. No, I devastated her. I’m not sure, if I was in her shoes, that I’d forgive me.”

“She will, Abe. She will.”

“I hope so. I sure hope so.”

Alabama slept for eighteen hours straight. Caroline had brought her to her house, given her a big hug, and left her alone in the basement apartment. It was just what Alabama needed. She needed some time alone to process all that had happened in the last month. She needed a safe place to hole up and get her balance back. She’d been through so many emotions, she was exhausted. She’d been scared, confused, hurt, sad, uncertain, and just plain tired.

Alabama took a long hot shower, scrubbing her skin raw, then, barely taking the time to dry herself off before putting on a T-shirt, collapsed into bed.

She’d woken up disorientated and confused, before remembering where she was. Her mouth felt like cotton and she knew if she breathed on anyone, she’d knock them over with her horrible breath.

Alabama groaned and rolled out of bed and staggered into the bathroom. After another long, hot shower Alabama felt more like herself. She’d forgotten she didn’t have any clean clothes, all her clothes had been sitting in storage and needed to be washed, but when she walked out into the room she saw a pile of clothes on a chair in the corner. Caroline had obviously brought her some of her own things to wear.

Alabama pulled on the pair of sweat pants and the simple T-shirt, sans underwear. She debated with herself on whether she should go upstairs or not. Caroline had made it clear she was more than welcome, but Alabama wasn’t sure she was ready to talk…or not talk. All it had taken was two little hurtful words from Christopher’s mouth to put Alabama right back where she’d been when she’d met him. Wary and uncomfortable when talking to people. She reverted back to her old habits of keeping her mouth shut unless absolutely necessary.

She sighed. It’d be rude to stay shut up in the basement, besides she’d honestly missed Caroline. She’d become a good friend in the short time they’d known each other.

Alabama made her way up the stairs and opened the basement door and entered the kitchen. The smell of steaks grilling made her mouth water. She was suddenly starving.

Alabama didn’t see anyone around, but knew Caroline and Matthew had to be there somewhere. Instead of snooping around, she pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and sat.

Not too much later, Caroline came in from the other room.

“Alabama! You’re awake!”

Alabama smiled shyly and nodded.

“I’m so glad you came up. Hungry?”

Again, Alabama nodded, a bit more enthusiastically.

“Okay, Matthew is grilling steaks. I swear he always makes enough meat for a hockey team. There’s more than enough for you to have one too. Is that all right?”

Alabama forced herself to do more than just nod this time. “Yes, that sounds heavenly.”

Caroline looked sad for a moment, then came toward Alabama and kneeled on the ground in front of her and engulfed her waist in a huge hug. Her head was buried in Alabama’s lap and her voice was muffled when she spoke. “We were so worried. Thank God, we found you and you’re okay.”

Alabama was shocked. She had no idea Caroline had felt like that. Before she could respond, Caroline lifted her head, keeping her arms around Alabama and kept talking.

“Don’t you ever do that again. If you’re scared, or hurt, or
anything
…you call me. I’ll come and we’ll work it out…okay?”

Alabama didn’t understand. “But, I hardly know you.”

“Bull. We know each other, Alabama. I like you. You’re my friend. I’d like to think I’m your friend too. Let me put it this way, if I called you and said my car ran out of gas, would you help me?”

“Of course.” Alabama didn’t even have to think about it. Caroline had been nicer to her than almost anyone she could think of in her life before now.

“See? We’re friends. That’s what friends do for each other.”

Alabama got it. For the first time she got it. She slowly wrapped her arms around Carline and belatedly returned her hug.”

Caroline smiled and squeezed tight, then let go and stood up and held out her hand. “Come on; let’s get some veggies together to go with Mr. Caveman’s meat.”

Alabama smiled and got up to help her friend.

Later that night, Alabama sat on the bed in the basement with Caroline. After eating, Caroline had announced they’d have a slumber party. Alabama hadn’t ever had a sleepover with anyone, and strangely enough, was looking forward to it.

It was silly really. She was thirty years old, but she needed someone to talk to. She wanted to talk about everything that had happened to her. She needed another opinion. She didn’t trust her own feelings.

Matthew had been great throughout dinner. He hadn’t brought up Christopher’s name or talked about anything heavy. He’d talked and laughed with Caroline and tried to make Alabama feel as comfortable as he could.

Caroline changed clothes and wandered down the stairs later that night to join Alabama. Alabama had been sitting cross legged on her bed waiting. She could’ve watched television, but didn’t really feel like paying attention to anything.

Caroline sat down next to Alabama on the bed and smiled.

“You look better. The sleep and food did you good.”

Alabama made a conscious effort to talk to her friend. “I feel better. Thank you for everything. I mean it.”

Caroline waved her thanks off. “Talk to me, Alabama. I know the basics of what happened from Matthew, and I saw how miserable Christopher looked, but I want to hear from you. What happened?”

“I honestly don’t know, Caroline.” Alabama told her. “I’d just had one of the best nights of my life, Christopher had come home safe from whatever scary mission he’d been on, and the next thing I knew, I was in an interrogation room waiting for him to come and get me out. But he didn’t. He left me there.”

Alabama took a deep breath. It was hard to talk about her childhood, but it’d be even harder to tell Caroline what Christopher had done.

“My mother abused me when I was little. She locked me in a closet and refused to let me out. She told me to shut up all the time, and if I spoke, at all, she’d beat me. I can’t hear the words ‘shut up’ without remembering the terrifying nights I spent huddled on the bottom of a closet. Or feeling her hitting me.”

“Oh, Alabama,” Caroline said, emotion coating her words. “I’m so sorry.”

Alabama knew she had to get the rest out before she lost her courage. “I thought Christopher was there for me. He wouldn’t let me explain. He just kept ranting. Then when I tried one more time to talk to him, he told me to shut up.” Ignoring Caroline’s indrawn breath, Alabama continued. “He said the one thing that was guaranteed to rip my heart out and he left. He
left
me there. I spent three of the most terrifying nights of my life in jail, and believe me, that’s saying something.”

Caroline reached over and grasped Alabama’s hand. “I’ve known Christopher for a while now, and while I can’t imagine how you feel, how you
felt
hearing those words coming out of his mouth, it’s obvious he’s suffering.”

When Alabama stiffened, Caroline continued quickly. “I know, you’re suffering too. I’m not defending him, but he loves you, Alabama. He loves you so much. He sat in front of me and sobbed after hearing you’d had to spend the night in jail. The question is, did those two words kill your love for him?”

Alabama nodded immediately. Then changed her mind and shook her vigorously. Then she put her head in her hand and mumbled, “I don’t know.”

“You do,” Caroline said with conviction.

“How do you know?”

“Look at what you’re wearing, Alabama.”

At the strange question, Alabama looked down at herself. She hadn’t realized what she’d put on. She was wearing one of Christopher’s T-shirts. She’d obviously grabbed it when she was packing up necessities in her apartment before she’d been evicted. One of Christopher’s shirts had been folded up in her drawer and she’d packed it.

Alabama realized she’d worn it every chance she’d had. She felt closer to him when she was wearing it. For a while it had even still smelled like him.

Caroline pressed her point. “Could you see yourself walking away today, actually leaving Riverton and moving across the country, never to see him again?”

“Maybe it’d be best. I don’t know if I can ever trust him again, nevertheless forgive him.”

“Let me put it this way. What would you feel if he left on a mission and never came back? What if he was killed in action?”

Alabama didn’t think. “Don’t say that, Caroline! Jesus, don’t
say
that sort of thing! You can’t….he won’t…” Tears came to her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Alabama. I had to make you
think
. He lives on the edge every day.
Every
time they leave the house there’s a chance they might not come back. Don’t you think I hate it too? I live with the worry every time Matthew leaves. But I trust him. I trust in his team. I trust in his love. You have to find a way to forgive him. You love him. Let that love guide you.”

“But…”

“No buts, Alabama. I can guarantee you that Christopher will never,
ever
, say that to you again. He won’t let anyone else say it either. He won’t let anyone even
think
it. He learned his lesson. If you thought he was protective before, you haven’t seen anything.”

“What do you mean?” Alabama asked. Her mind was going in a million different directions. She loved Christopher. She was still beyond hurt by what he’d done, but she knew if she never saw him again, she’d be devastated.

“That man tore this city apart looking for you. Anytime anyone hinted he let you go, he lost it. Every time someone even
suggested
you might’ve been guilty, he lost it. That lawyer of yours? Hunter might have originally hired her, but Christopher harassed her every day trying to get information on you when they were trying to find you. He made sure she concentrated on your case and your case alone. And I don’t know if he told you, but Adelaide is going to wish she never messed with you too, I’ll tell you that.”

Alabama was stunned. She had no idea he’d been that concerned about her. She’d thought he’d dumped her, made a clean break. “He told me she’d wish she didn’t mess with me, but not what that meant specifically. What’d he do to Adelaide?”

“Well, I don’t know exactly, but Matthew told me some of it. They have a good friend out in Virginia named Tex He knows a lot of people and is really good with a computer.
Really
good. Adelaide’s now broke. Her identity was ‘stolen.’ He told all her friends what she’d done and he had a talk with the Wolfe’s. She doesn’t have a job anymore and I’d be surprised if any of her friends stood by her.”

“But that’s…that’s mean.”

Caroline laughed harshly. “Alabama, that’s not mean. What that bitch did to
you
was mean.”

“But…Christopher’s not like that. He protects people. He’s a hero.”

“Hon, she threatened you. She hurt you.
She
did that to you. Christopher is a trained killer, he could’ve done worse, and I have a feeling he would’ve if Matthew and the rest of his team hadn’t reined him in.”

At the shocked look in Alabama’s eyes, Caroline continued in a softer voice. “He loves you. He loves you so much. He’d do anything for you, give you anything you want. He’ll protect you with his life. You just have to forgive him and let him back in.”

A lone tear finally dropped from Alabama’s eye and spilled down her cheek. “I want to, but…”

“No, no buts. Give it a few days. Let everything sink in. You’re safe here. You can be alone for as long as you need to be. You can stay here for as long as you want. I have the name of that counselor on the base if you want to talk to her as well. When you’re ready, let me know, and I’ll arrange for you guys to talk. Okay?”

“Okay. Caroline?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve never had a best friend before. Hell, I’ve never even had a close friend before. But I’d like to call you my friend.”

“Oh girl…If you didn’t, I’d have to bitch slap you.”

The two women laughed together breaking the tension. Finally, being tired, they drew the covers back on the bed and climbed in. The heavy talk done, they giggled and gossiped for a long while before finally drifting off to sleep.