Protected: Alien Mate Index Book 2: (Alien Warrior BBW Paranormal Science fiction Romance) (The Alien Mate Index) (41 page)

“The Goddess Empress is dead, though,” I said. “Didn’t you know? And—I can’t believe I didn’t tell you this yet—the head of her guards thinks that
Charlotte
is supposed to be her replacement. That’s the second reason I need to go back to Earth—I want to make sure she’s okay.”

“Oh my God!” Zoe put a hand over her mouth. “Well then, of
course
you have to go! Wow…” She shook her head. “Well, if anyone could rule the Universe it would be Charlotte—she’s
so
organized. Did you ever see her notes in college? She knew more than most of her professors.”

“I said the same thing.” I grinned at her and then sighed. “I wish she was here now. I wish we were all safe and happy together like in the old days.”

“I wish it too, hon, but you can’t go back.” Zoe squeezed my arm. “And honestly, except for being close to the two of you, I wouldn’t
want
to go back. I was
miserable
working at Lauder, Lauder, and Associates. I was getting
staplers
thrown at my head and here…”

“You’re wearing a crown on your head. It’s a big difference.” I smiled at her. “Zoe, I can’t tell you how happy I am for you. And how happy I am that you’re alive and well. Maybe you and I and Charlotte will all be together again someday soon.”

“From your lips to the Goddess of Mercy’s ears.” She smiled. “I just want to see the two of you as happy as I am.”

“Well, I don’t think I’m destined to rule a planet
or
an entire galaxy like the two of you,” I said. “But I wouldn’t really want to, anyway.”

“No, you’ll just be happy when you get your man. And you
will
get him—wait and see.” She winked at me.

“But…how? He doesn’t want me. Or at least, he doesn’t
want
to want me,” I pointed out.

“But you’ve still got that fire between you—that attraction, right?” She eyed me shrewdly. “Don’t say you don’t—I can tell when the two of you are together.”

I thought of how I had never stopped yearning for Grav’s arms around me—how I had never stopped burning for his touch. The sexual desire that had tormented me had died down a little but only because I was trying so hard to keep it at bay. I knew it could spring back to life at any moment, like a banked fire can suddenly become a roaring blaze when it’s poked with a stick.

“All right,” I admitted. “He still makes me feel—I still want him and I
think
he still wants me. But he won’t
do
anything about it.”

“So then,
you
do something about it,” Zoe said, poking me in the arm.

“Do what exactly?” I asked.

“Seduce him. Or find
some
kind of reason to get him going. Didn’t you say that Braxians have
a p
oint of no return—not just in battle but in sex?”

“Yes, but what do you suggest—that I push him until he reaches that point and just
snaps?”

“Exactly.” She put down her wine with a thump on the tray beside the beanbag chair and smiled triumphantly. “Do that. Absolutely do that.”

“But…that’s so sneaky. I don’t want to
trick
him into a relationship,” I protested.

“You’re not
tricking
him—you’re
helping
him. Helping both of you, really. Look, didn’t you say he admitted to loving you?” Zoe asked.

“Well, yes, but—”

“And you love him too.”

“Like crazy,” I admitted. “I can’t help it.”

“So the two of you need a push to get together. And if he’s too stubborn, well, you’re going to have to be the one to do the pushing.” She poked me in the arm again. “Come on, Leah—I know you were never very aggressive back on Earth but you’ve changed. I can sense it.”

“I have.” I lifted my chin. “I’m not the same girl who let Gerald run all over her. Even if Grav and I never get together, I’m not going back to being that girl. I’m different now—stronger.”

“I know you are.” Zoe gave me a spontaneous hug. “I’m so proud of you!” She pulled back and looked me in the eye. “And you’re going to have to be strong and determined now, to get what you want.”

“I don’t know…” I bit my lip. “I don’t know anything about seducing anybody. And I still feel like I don’t want to trick Grav into something he’ll regret.”

Zoe frowned. “Well, have it your way. But I think you’re
both
going to regret it if you let him slip away. There’s a reason he’s the one who woke you up, Leah—woke up that part of you that you thought was dead.
He’s the one—
your fated mate. Don’t let him go!”

“I’ll try not to,” I said. “But I have to find a way that isn’t dishonest. I don’t want to found a relationship on lies. That was half the problem with Gerald—I was lying when I pretended he did anything for me sexually and he knew it. Deep down, I think he really knew it.”

“Good,” Zoe said promptly. “He was a jerk—he deserves to know you faked every single orgasm you ever had with him. And he deserves to be divorced. In fact…you can call my friend, Rylee Hale at Lauder, Lauder, and Associates. She’s a paralegal there too but she prepares paperwork on the side. It’s way cheaper than using a lawyer if you just want a quick and dirty no contest divorce. She might even do it for free if you drop my name. Oh—and tell her I’m okay.”

“That sounds good,” I said gratefully. “I don’t know what shape my bank account is going to be in when I get back. I guess it depends on if Gerald has cleaned it out or not.”

“That jerk.” She frowned. “You should have let Grav break him, the way he did Doloroso.”

“Well, that was a very
specific
kind of break,” I said, trying not to laugh. “And Grav
did
say he wanted to break Gerald’s spine. Or at least his arms, so he couldn’t hurt a female ever again.”

“Next time let him,” Zoe advised.

I sighed. “I will. If there
is
a next time.”

“There will be.” She smiled enigmatically. “You’ll see, Leah—something’s going to happen. You and Grav were meant to be together—and you will be.”

“I’d like to believe you’re right.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I guess I’ll let you know.”

“Do that. The communication isn’t great because Earth is so far from Eloim. Sometimes you can get a message through the Commercians with a boosted signal and sometimes not.” She shrugged. “But try. And let me know how Charlotte is doing, too.”

“I will,” I promised. “You know I will.”

“Of course.” She pulled me close again and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Be well, Leah. Be safe and be happy and most of all
be brave.”

“Hey…” For some reason I felt tears stinging my eyes. “Why does it feel like you’re saying goodbye? I’m not leaving until tomorrow.”

“Because I’ll probably be bawling too hard to say it then.” Zoe sniffed. “I can’t believe you just got here and now you have to go.”

“I’ll be back,” I reminded her. “You said yourself you’ll send a ship for me in a couple of months if you don’t hear from me.”

She sighed. “I know. I just miss you and Charlotte
so much.”

“We miss you too, sweetie,” I told her, giving her a hug. “And we’ll all be together before you know it.”

Little did I know how wrong I was…but that’s a story for another time. For now, I was content just to be close to my best friend again and feel comforted and secure…even if it was just for a little while.

Grav

The next morning there was a lot of crying and hugging and kissing between Leah and Zoe. A very emotional scene.

Sarden and I stood by and watched—Teeny was already in the hopper. I was a little worried about her—she seemed tired and she was extremely quiet. But I told myself the poor little female had been through a lot. No wonder she wanted to be alone—she needed to rest and get over her recent ordeal.

“So we’ll see you again soon, I hope?” Sarden asked. “You didn’t stay long at all—I thought you were going to settle here on Eloim and help me run this place.”

“You don’t need my help,” I told him, grinning a little. “Anybody can see you’re doing a hell of a job. The Eloim certainly seem to think so.”

“Yes, everybody’s happy,” he said, giving me a shrewd look. “Everybody but
you,
old friend. But as far as I can see, that’s your own fault.”

“What?” I looked at him, startled. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Leah. She’s the one for you, isn’t she? But you’re pushing her away.”

“There’s no ‘one right female’ for me,” I growled, frowning. “And even if there was, you know I couldn’t bond her. Because I’m a—”

“A half-breed.” He raised an eyebrow. “Like me?”

“You got lucky,” I said, looking away. “There’s no guarantee I would.”

“There’s no guarantee you
wouldn’t
, either,” he pointed out. “Leah is a Pure One and a
La-ti-zal,
the same as Zoe. What makes you think you couldn’t form a bond with her?”

“That’s the point,” I growled. “I’m afraid I
could.
She doesn’t need to be with me, Sarden. She needs a nice guy.”

“Like that mate of hers who beat her up?” he asked shrewdly. “Yes, Zoe told me about him. He sounds like a real bastard.”

“He’s that, all right,” I said darkly. “I wanted to rip his fuckin’ head off the first time I saw him. Actually, I still do.”

“Then do it. And claim Leah for your own.” His eyes flashed. “Sometimes a female likes to feel
owned
. Only in the bedroom but still—you know what I mean.”

“I can’t do that,” I said with a frustrated growl. “I can’t take that risk. What if we ended up with just a partial bond, like my parents? You know how it was between them.”

“That wasn’t because of their bond or lack of one,” Sarden said, frowning. “It was because your father was an abusive son-of-a-bitch. Forgive me, Grav, it pains me to speak ill of the dead but it’s true and you and I both know it.”

I ran a hand through my hair.

“Yeah, I know it.”

“Listen to me.” Sarden took me by the shoulders and looked into my eyes. “You’re not your father. No matter what you’ve done, you’re not that kind of male. You don’t hurt females and you’d
never
hurt Leah—even if you couldn’t bond her to you.”

“I don’t know.” I frowned and looked away. “I don’t even know if she still wants me…that way.”

“She does,” Sarden said bluntly. “She spent all last night telling Zoe how you make her
feel.”
He grimaced. “You know, I love the link my bond gives me with my little Pure One but sometimes I want to turn it down.”

“Really?”

I looked at Leah speculatively. She was still clinging to Zoe as the two females whispered together in front of the hopper which was floating serenely about an inch off the ground. Sarden has a nice big anti-grav landing area so I was able to bring my entire ship down to the planet’s surface instead of just a shuttle. Which was good, since my best shuttle had been lost to the Widow’s attack.

“Really,” he said firmly. “And don’t say you’re not good enough for her again because of your past. At some point, old friend, you have to put the past behind you and reach for the future the Goddess has offered you. It’s an insult to her not to.”

“What?” I looked at him, startled. I hadn’t thought of it that way.

“Think about it.” Sarden clapped me on the shoulder, the Star of Wisdom winking at his forehead. “Safe journey.”

“Thanks,” I said, frowning. As Leah finally let go of Zoe and we waved goodbye, I found myself wondering if he was right. Could it really be an insult to the Goddess of Mercy to refuse what she was offering? Or was it more of an insult to try to tie my stained and violent life to someone as pure and beautiful as Leah?

I just didn’t know.

Leah

“Leah?” Teeny’s voice was thin and worried as she stood in the doorway to my room. “Can I talk to you?”

“Of course you can, honey. Come on in.” I patted the spot beside me on the bunk. We had already made our first hop on the way to her home world of Thonolax, and Grav had said it would only take a few days to get her back home to her grandfather.

But Teeny had only given him a wan smile when he said it, and then wandered off again to her room. I had just been thinking that I needed to go check on her when she came knocking at my door. I was glad to see her but more worried than ever when I saw how tired and sick she looked. There were dark shadows under her violet eyes and her lovely, pale green skin had taken on a distinct, grayish cast.

“What is it?” I asked, as she settled beside me. “What’s wrong, Teeny? You’ve been so quiet lately.”

“It’s this,” she said simply and pushed up the sleeve of the oversized sweater she had begged from me some time ago, saying she was cold.

It was the same arm where she’d been bitten—the one I had healed back on Chndra, the small moon where we had found her. Or
thought
I’d healed, anyway. When I looked at her arm I saw that the bite mark was back and it looked worse than ever.

The indentations of the Biter’s teeth—which had never fully faded, I remembered now—were black and there were dark tendrils of infection radiating up and down the length of Teeny’s slender forearm.

“Oh no!” I whispered in horror, cradling her arm gently in my hand. “Teeny, when did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It…it’s been going on a few days now,” she admitted in a low voice. “It was so gradual and I was trying so hard not to think about it—about what would happen if it really came back. But now…” She started to cry. “Now it’s worse than ever and I don’t know what to do. Please, Leah—can you heal me again?”

“Of course I will!” I exclaimed. “Don’t cry, sweetheart—we’ll get you fixed up, I promise.”

But it turned out to be a promise I couldn’t keep.

Though I cupped my hands around her wounded arm and concentrated until I was light-headed and panting with effort, I could barely summon any healing power at all. Only a faint, flickering glow of the energy I’d been able to call the last time came to me when I tried. The evil-looking black lines, like blood poisoning that ran up and down her arm, scarcely retreated an inch and the black ring of bite marks didn’t change at all.