Promposal (21 page)

“Oh, that's prettier.” She picked up the copper bangle set and slid them on. “Yeah, I dig this more. Perfect. And look, there are even earrings that match!” She grabbed those too and put them in her small wicker basket.

“So did he text you back?” I asked. Camilla had filled me in on what happened with her and Benjamin today. For once, I was glad to be wrong—apparently the guy
had
been trying to send her a secret message. And holding her hand like that in the hallway at school was definitely not the act of a casual friend. “Have you guys talked about hanging out, or are you too shy to ask, given what happened last time?”

She flushed. “I haven't brought it up yet. I'm trying to just
live in the moment instead of worrying about where it'll lead. I've realized I spend too much time feeling anxious over things that haven't even happened yet. Worries about prom sucking. Worries about Benjamin not wanting to date me. On and on and on. All of it was wasted energy. So I'm happy texting him and connecting with him right now.”

“Fair enough. So what's up with prom? Is he going?”

“We haven't talked about it since our school project, but he'd said back then that he was probably staying home.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ears. “And that's okay. He seems fine with me going with his cousin, and after prom is over, he and I can probably start dating for real. The timing is awkward, but we're gonna roll with it.”

“We'll make sure to send him pictures of how beautiful you look.”

She gave me a grateful smile in response. “We'll all be looking pretty damn hot, I'm sure.”

We moved to the front of the store, where she whipped out some cash and paid for her jewelry. “And I think that's the last of the stuff you needed to get, right?” I asked.

“It is. My mom's gonna be thrilled.”

We'd both done some good shopping today. I bought cuff links for my tux and picked up a dress shirt that fit me better than the one I had. Camilla got her jewelry and stockings, plus some hair accessories. She'd even made an appointment at the salon in the mall to get her hair fixed for prom.

After the clerk handed Camilla her small plastic bag, we walked to the mall entrance. Outside, the sun was still shining, even though it was late afternoon. Summer was approaching fast.

“You're sure Zach is okay with me having dinner with you guys? Because I don't want to be a third wheel,” I teased.

She shot me a glare. “We already had this discussion. He's perfectly fine with it. And he and I are just friends. Nothing more.”

“Okay, okay. I get it.” I dug into my pocket and got my car key out, then unlocked the trunk so we could deposit our purchases. “I just wanted to make sure.”

We settled in the car, and I pulled out of the parking lot. Camilla dug through my CD collection until she found an old eighties one she liked. When the electronic music came on, she threw her hands in the air and started singing along.

“It's good to see you smiling again,” I said. “And I don't just mean about Benjamin, though I'm glad the guy decided to man up and own his feelings. You don't seem so doom and gloom about everything anymore. Why, I think we might actually have fun together at prom.”

She snorted. “Thanks, I think. But yes, I think once I realized I was letting all of this drag me into a negative place and I was the only one who could make me feel better, I was able to let it go. It also helps that Zach really isn't as awful as I thought he was. He's kinda growing on me, to admit the truth.” She grinned. “Actually, I think you'll like him. He's not a bad guy.”

Her phone vibrated, and she pulled it out and smiled at the screen. Instantly, I knew who the message was from.

“What did he write?” I asked.

“ ‘The Beatles or Elvis?' ” Her grin was secret and soft, and while I was thrilled about her budding romance, my heart twisted just a touch. Maybe someday I'd have my own Benjamin. Hope springs eternal, right?

“There's only one right answer here. Elvis,” I declared loudly to cover up my bittersweet thoughts. “Quick, type fast so he doesn't think there's actually a debate about the issue.”

“No way. The Beatles are
far
better. They have a million hit songs, and you can't top their helmet hair. All Elvis had were thrusting hips and a white sequined jumper.”

“This might end our friendship,” I replied as she typed a response to Benjamin. “There's
no way
the Beatles are better than Elvis. He was smoking hot and had a voice that melted all underwear in a five-mile radius. Watching Elvis do the twist on TV when I was eight was one of my first clues I might be gay.”

She barked a laugh. “Okay. I might not agree with you, but I can't argue with your logic.”

We made small talk on the way to my house, discussing dinner plans for prom night, when and where we'd meet, and so on. I turned down the street, and as I drove the final block, I realized someone was sitting on my front porch.

Ethan.

Oh my God. My heart rammed against my chest and my breathing grew ragged. I made my hands stay steady on the wheel while I turned the car into the drive. What was he doing here? I stared at his profile, glowing in the setting sun. He had on jeans and a black-and-gray striped shirt, his feet tucked in a pair of brown loafers. His hair danced in the soft late-May breeze.

Casual yet hot, that was Ethan.

“Are we running late or something?” Camilla asked. “Were you supposed to meet him?”

I kept the smile frozen on my face. “No,” I whispered out of the corner of my mouth. “I have no idea why he's here.”

She squeezed my thigh. “It'll be okay. I'm here for you. We'll get out of the car and be casual. Just three friends relaxing, right? It'll start to feel normal again for you soon enough.”

Logically, I knew she was right. The longer he and I practiced being just friends, pretending my confession had never happened, the easier it would get to put it behind us and connect again. But my stupid heart didn't want to do that.

I unclenched the wheel, shut off the engine, and exited. As I made my way to the trunk, I gave Ethan a quick wave.

He nodded in response. “Hey. You guys busy? Should I come back?”

“No, it's fine,” Camilla said from behind me as she draped her backpack over her shoulder. “We just went shopping for—” She stopped and gave an awkward laugh. “For relaxing.”

Nice cover. From behind the open trunk I shot her a glare, and she shrugged her shoulders in a “Sorry, I panicked” gesture.

I grabbed my bags and closed the trunk. It was so hard to keep my gait natural as I made my way to the front door. Luckily, Camilla was there by my side. I would get through this. I would do this.

“How are you?” I asked, proud of the way my voice was casual. This close, I could see that Ethan's eyes bore a hint of tension, and his pose didn't look so effortless. He seemed tense. Crap. My stomach lurched. This wasn't going to be good.

“Do you have time to talk?” he asked me.

I drew in a slow breath to steady myself before I answered.

Camilla took my bags. “I'll run these inside, Joshua. If you want.”

I gave her a nod that it was okay, and she slipped into the house and closed the door behind her. When she left, I straightened and
stared at him. His eyes glowed from the sunlight, and I found myself unable to look away. “What's up?”

God, I hoped he wasn't here to tell me we couldn't be friends anymore. That might just about kill me. I already missed him so badly my chest ached. I was torn between relief for getting my feelings out there and regret for how it made our friendship change so drastically.

Ethan licked his lips, and it was so hard to fight the urge to glance down at them. “I didn't ask Noah to prom.”

Okay. Not what I was expecting. Then full understanding sank in. “Oh.” Guilt hit me swift in the solar plexus. Had my confession ruined his juju that day, and was he still angry with me about it? “Shit. I'm sorry, Ethan. I messed everything up for you.” I drew in a breath through my nose and looked down at my shoes.

“You didn't mess it up. I mean, you definitely impacted it.” His breathing was as raspy as mine. “But I realized Noah wasn't the right guy for me. So I couldn't do it. I didn't
want
to do it.”

I crammed my hands in my jeans pockets because they began to shake. “Why not?” I asked him quietly. My heart gave an irregular beat when his fingers reached out and brushed my arm.

“Since your . . . since you told me how you felt, I've spent my days walking around in a haze. I was a bit angry at first—you'd left me out of a big secret. It made me revisit memories, wondering how I missed the signs. But the anger faded fast, and then I was mortified.”

The air locked in my chest.

“No. Shit. I'm messing this up.” Ethan sounded frantic. “Please, look at me. I'm so nervous I can barely speak.”

I did so. “Are you dumping me as a friend?” I asked him flat out. “Is this your breakup speech or something?”

The shock on his face was genuine. “What? No! No, you're not understanding me. I was mortified because you'd given me a gift in your honesty, and I'd rejected you so coldly. I was angry at myself and stayed away at first because I couldn't stop beating myself up over how I handled it. And then I stayed away because of my conflicted emotions—could you and I really date? What would it be like? Could I even think of you as more than a friend?”

He paused, blew out a deep breath. His fingers shook hard as he reached over and brushed my forearm again. The hairs on my skin shivered from his touch.

“Joshua, you're the best friend I ever had. You've been there for me for so long I don't know how to live without you. And I don't want to. Yes, you shocked the hell out of me, but once your words stuck in my head . . . they were all I could think about. I even realized I'd been jealous over that mall guy.”

I stared dumbly at him, unable to believe what I was hearing. My heart throbbed in response.

“I couldn't ask Noah to prom, because I couldn't get you off my mind. Eventually, I figured out that I didn't
want
to stop thinking about you. And even if this is a risk, it's one worth taking.” Ethan dropped to one knee and cupped my fingers in his hand. “I hope it's not too late. I'm an idiot who took a long time to realize how he felt and what he wanted. But, Joshua, I want
you
.
I want to be with you. I want to date you.” He paused, and the emotion in his eyes nearly knocked me off my feet. I couldn't breathe. “I know you probably already have prom plans, because I was the dork who waited so long. And I know this isn't fancy or romantic. I don't have any music or pictures or flowers. But what I'm saying is from the heart. It's real. And if you can save me a dance at prom, I'd be
honored. I'm going by myself, and I'd really like to see you there.”

“I'm going by myself too,” I managed to get out. I lifted him off his knee and took a step closer to him. Only a couple of inches separated our bodies. “So maybe we can go alone together.”

“Or maybe we could just . . . go together.” His head moved a fraction toward mine. “If you want to.”

Every nerve ending in my skin was on fire. My breath came out in soft, eager pants. I nodded. “I'd love to go to prom with you, Ethan.”

When his soft lips pressed against mine, I couldn't stop the small sound that escaped my mouth. Ethan wrapped his arms around me, drew me into the warm embrace of his firm body. I let my hands roam his back and kissed him deeply, with all my soul. He tasted of mint and male, and his tongue swept my mouth in a heady rush.

A loud squeal came from the doorway, and Ethan and I broke apart with a laugh. We turned and saw Camilla clapping, tears running down her face.

“Oh my God. It's about time,” she said as she sniffle-laughed. “I couldn't be happier for you guys.”

Ethan's hand slipped down and his fingers wove with mine. I could see the erratic pulse at the base of his throat. That kiss had impacted him too.

He brushed another soft kiss across my lips. “Let's go inside. We have some prom planning to do.”

D
inner. Was. Perfect,” I declared as I patted my stomach. I shot Zach a thankful smile. “You didn't have to buy my food, you know.”

“I know. But it seemed like the gentlemanly thing to do.” His responding smile was wide and generous.

“I appreciate it.” I had to admit, Zach had been a perfect gentleman all evening so far. After picking me up and taking a billion pictures with my family, he'd had the limo driver swing by and pick Ethan and Joshua up, too. The four of us went to a nice steak house on the West Side. Conversation had been easy and peppered with laughs.

Zach held the door open for me, Joshua, and Ethan to exit the restaurant. All of us were groaning a little because of how much we'd eaten. At least my formfitting red dress was made of stretchy fabric.

We got in the limo and rode toward the hotel hosting our prom night. I couldn't wait to see it all decked out, to see how dressed up everyone got.

“You look amazing, by the way,” Zach said to me for the fifth time since he'd picked me up. “You sure you want to just be friends?” He gave an exaggerated waggle of his eyebrows. “'Cause you're gonna miss out on all of
this
.” He waved a broad hand over his tux.

I barked a laugh. “I do have to admit, you're looking pretty foxy.”

“I'll say.” Joshua gave Zach an intense stare and eyed him up and down, and Zach blushed, which made all of us laugh harder. Ethan elbowed Joshua in the side, and he fake wheezed.

I snuck my phone out and shot Benjamin a quick text.
Hey, I'll send you a msg tonight when I get home. Hope your evening is good. I'll miss you!
I'd made a promise to myself that I wouldn't spend all night on my phone, waiting for texts from him. Zach deserved better than that. But it didn't mean Benjamin wouldn't be on my mind.