Promise of Yesterday (21 page)

The evening stretched long, the plate of doughnuts finally empty, polished off mostly by Chester and Aaron Walck. It filled Marylu with a quiet joy to see Mr. Walck staying close to Miss Jenny during the meal. When the man finally said his good-byes, Jenny blushed beneath his beaming smile. Her friend seemed wreathed in happiness despite the hard issue of Cooper’s confession.

They waited for the moment when Zedikiah would awake and Cooper would spill his news. Marylu urged Cooper to reveal his relationship to Zedikiah in private, but Jenny argued that it might be better if it was done with everyone who loved the two men surrounding them.

Chester grabbed Marylu’s hand and pointed to the door. “Go for walk.”

She joined him in the cool night air, feeling a strange unreality about her surroundings. Mixed up in her mind less about her choice to forgive Cooper than about her fear that love wasn’t meant for her. If Walter left so easily …

She cast a sidelong glance at Chester. Perhaps she was a foolish woman for thinking it wouldn’t happen again, for allowing herself to marry a man who had left her once already.

Jenny’s admonition shot through her mind. She could not let Walter’s betrayal shadow what she had with Chester. And hadn’t it been Chester who reminded her that he was not Walter?

It was too much, and her head ached with the weariness of suppressed emotion and confusion. She stopped in the middle of the walk, pulling her hand out of Chester’s.

He turned toward her and took a step closer. She saw the question lurking in his eyes. “Tired?”

Such a simple question. Answering yes would be a way out, and she could retreat to the quiet of her room to sort through her feelings. “Very tired.”

His eyes became searching, and she looked away. “We should head back.” She turned away from him, giving movement to her suggestion, and saw his hand reach for hers. She raised her hand to touch her hair to avoid his contact, afraid she would shatter, fearful it meant putting her heart in danger all the more.

When he came even with her, she darted a quick look at him. His bowed head. Hands jammed in his pockets. Her heart ached with the dejection of his silhouette. In order not to be hurt, she hurt in return. Was that fair?

Before they got back to the back door of Miss Jenny’s house, his words stopped her.

“I go Mercersburg.”

Coldness froze her heart, and her gaze flew to his, but his eyes were in shadow. It burgeoned then, all the weariness and questions.

“I love you.”

Emotion balled in her throat. Walter’s last “I love you.” Would she ever be able to trust those words? Marylu spun around and hurried to the house, ignoring Chester’s throaty command to stop. And when she shut the door behind her, she waited for his knock. Hoping he might follow her, and dreading it if he did.

There was no knock.

Zedikiah and Cooper looked up from the table.

Jenny hurried to her. “Marylu?” Her cool hand on Marylu’s arm brought an uncontrollable trembling to Marylu’s limbs. “Sit down,” Jenny directed.

By some unspoken agreement, Cooper disappeared in one direction, Zedikiah the other.

Marylu shook her head when Jenny tried to get her to talk. “Nothing to say.”

“Marylu, that’s not true, and you know it.”

She laid eyes on Jenny’s concerned expression. “I was right, Miss Jenny. No one can love me.”

Chester stretched out on the floor of Zedikiah’s room. The boy had said little since he’d entered, and he guessed that Cooper’s revelation had not resulted in warm feelings between them.

As his body relaxed, he thought of Marylu. He didn’t think her shrinking away from him had anything to do with him, not in light of all that Cooper had revealed. His love for the woman must have been deep, though selfish. Chester admired her ability to forgive her old friend so easily, but something gnawed at her in spite of the gesture.

He hadn’t known what to say, what with his tongue still not able to speak the volumes that lay dormant in his heart. And his timing in announcing his trip to Mercersburg seemed to startle her, but his nephew needed some help, and he would not say no to the boy or his sister. It had been his hope that Marylu would go with him and meet his family, but her taking off as she had left him little choice but to go alone.

Chester closed his eyes and prayed for Marylu and Zedikiah, Cooper and Miss Jenny, even Aaron Walck. But his mind took little rest from the prayer, and he slept restlessly. When he opened his eyes and darkness came through the window, he raised himself on one elbow and ran his hand over his face. He had almost convinced himself of the merit of starting out on the long walk to Mercersburg now, when he heard a sniffle. Then another.

“Zed?”

“Thought you was asleep.”

“Was.”

As his eyes adjusted to the dim light, Chester could make out the boy’s form where he sat on the edge of the bed. He hiked up from the floor and crossed to the young man, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Talk?”

“Nothing to say.”

Chester smiled in the darkness, seeing that there was plenty the boy wanted to say, but he just didn’t want to form the words. Or didn’t know what words to say. It all reminded him so much of himself. Zedikiah’s habit of sliding into self-pity mirrored his own past tendencies to do the same. And it always led to drinking.

“Lord worked in his heart.” Chester paused. “Got to let the past go. Look forward.”

Zedikiah sat still, an occasional sniff the only sound in the room. “Is it that easy?”

Chester got to his feet, grabbed his shirt off a peg on the wall and shrugged into it. The answer to that question seemed riddled with pitfalls. For someone who couldn’t see the answer for what it was, the choice to look forward would be difficult. He had tried for years himself, but once he had embraced the forgiveness and peace, he was able to heal. “Can be,” he said.

Zedikiah lay back down on the bed and sighed. “Is that what you did?”

Chester stood straight, fingertips working the last buttonhole. He smiled, knowing Zedikiah wouldn’t be able to see it in the semidarkness, but it wasn’t a smile for Zedikiah. It was one for himself. Proof of his victory. “Yes. And it works. God will help. Let Him.”

“I’m not much for church.” Zedikiah put his hand on the door and swung it inward.

“Can change that, too.”

In the morning light, Marylu pulled the thick strips of bacon from the skillet.

Cooper sat huddled on the bench, a miserable knot of a man. Jenny, dressed for Sunday church, sat across from him, speaking in low tones.

Marylu set the tin of bacon on the table.

Cooper didn’t even raise his face, and when she exchanged a look with Jenny, her friend looked sad beyond words.

“Someone better be eating up this bacon.”

“It smells wonderful,” Jenny said out loud, her eyes on Cooper.

Without ever looking up, Cooper rose from the table and ambled out the back door.

“He is the most stubborn man,” Jenny groused.

“You just now seeing that?”

Jenny nibbled on the bacon and a piece of dry toast before she pushed her plate away. “I’m just not hungry, Marylu.”

“Going to see Mr. Walck this morning?”

“Of course. He is always faithful to the services. He sings, too.” Twin spots of color showed on the woman’s cheeks, and her eyes shone. Her smile faded, though, and Marylu knew what was coming. “I’m sorry about Cooper.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“And what he did isn’t your fault either.”

Marylu eyed her friend. She let the words sink in, understanding exactly what Jenny meant.

“You wouldn’t talk last night, but I figured I knew what was going through your mind. The way you came into the kitchen and how we never saw Chester after that.”

Marylu pulled air into her lungs and stared down at the table.

“It’s just like you somehow figured you weren’t enough for Walter and that’s why he left you. And with Cooper’s confession, you did something of the same thing.”

“He said he was going to Mercersburg.”

Jenny tilted her head. “Chester?”

She nodded. “I felt so exhausted, and I guess … I guess I let my emotions and fears rattle me.”

“He’s probably going to see his sister. He got a note from her yesterday at the shop. I gave it to him.”

Marylu closed her eyes.

“You thought he meant he was leaving? After he proposed?” She shrugged.

“Marylu.” Jenny’s tone held reprimand. She rose from the table. “I guess I’ll be walking to church this morning.”

“Cooper’s probably got the buggy ready.”

Jenny shook her head. “No, I’ll walk. Seems like that buggy will be headed west this morning. Don’t you think?”

She laughed at her friend’s less-than-subtle suggestion. “Seems I’ve done this once before.”

“And both times for the right reasons.”

Finding Chester didn’t take long. He had just made it within sight of Mercersburg when she pulled up beside him. His eyes widened with surprise.

“If you get in, I’ll take you into Mercersburg.”

The buggy rocked under his weight then settled when he sat beside her. He caught her gaze and held it, his brows raised.

She saw what he was asking. “I’m sorry. I was tired and confused and …” She bit down hard to keep from crying.

His hand covered hers.

“When you told me you were coming here, I didn’t understand.”

“I’m not Walter.”

She gave a short laugh. “Yes, I know that. It’s me. I just don’t want to be hurt again.”

He squeezed her fingers, and she raised her face to see the tenderness there in his eyes.

“I not Cooper.” He placed a hand over his heart. “I love because you are dear, kind, devoted. You helped heal me. Showed me God.”

Tears gathered in her eyes and blurred his features. She blinked and would have turned away, but he tugged on her hand.

“You make me better man. I need you.”

She drew in a shuddering breath. “All this time I thought Walter had left me because I wasn’t loveable, but now I know that it was Cooper’s doing. I don’t know. It’s like I can’t help but be thankful. What kind of man would say he loves me then leave so easily?”

Chester’s face remained expressionless.

“Not the kind I want to share my life with, I’ll tell you that. It’s like God was watching over me the entire time. Answering my prayers even though my heart was breaking.” She stopped and stared out over the fields.

All those prayers. All the tears. Yet God had seen them all and bided time in order to bring Chester to her. She turned back toward him and scanned his gentle face, the wrinkles set around his dark eyes, and she knew in her heart that she could love again. Wholly. And that she did love. The wonder of it settled over her shoulders and deep into her heart. She squeezed his fingers until a smile lit his face.

He pulled her hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss against her skin.

She leaned toward him and tilted her head up, giving him a saucy smile.

He didn’t move.

“Don’t you know an invitation for a kiss when you see one?” She breathed.

His smile came slowly. He leaned in toward her and bowed his head over hers until she felt the warmth of his lips.

In that moment, Marylu Biloxi decided popping and crackling over a man wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

Chester was my husband for thirty-two years. The good Lord added him to his collection of saints on a cool, autumn day when the leaves were just beginning to fall from the trees. I rejoiced in his rest, being that he had suffered much after a stroke left him weak on his right side and robbed him of his ability to walk. I’m more sure than anything that he’s bouncing all over heaven though. We had a good life together. It seemed once we’d cleansed ourselves of all the demons of our youth that life became sweeter. Even more so because it was shared by us together
.

We had us a couple of little surprises along the way. Lillian Jennifer Jones was born right after my thirty-second birthday. Our next little one died, a little boy we called William, and was laid in the cemetery with many tears. On my thirty-seventh birthday, I found myself with child again. This boy came into the world screaming for all he was worth and never stopped. Chester Jones, Jr., was our crowning glory, though he about near killed us both with his wild ways before finally settling down at the age of seventeen
.