I stood in my bedroom, fuming. Forculus’s attitude was typical of an Olympian deity. The vast majority of them saw humans as pawns or playthings. I’d been stupid to even hope for his help. After a few minutes of focused breathing, I was able to get my temper under control. There had to be a way to fix this. As I struggled to come up with something, my phone chirped out the theme to
Firefly
. “Hey, Gears,” I said.
“Vinnie, does your ‘Open Sesame Seed’ trick use extradimensional energies?”
I decided not to address the “seed” part of that question. “Yeah, why?”
“Because I just found mention in the Caulborn archives of a device that can channel and purify that sort of energy. John Hays Hammond Jr., Vinnie. John Hammond was working on it.”
“Should I know that name?”
Gears’s voice was incredulous. “He was the father of the remote control. Held over four hundred patents. He was a total genius, Vinnie, and I think he might have designed a device that you could use to open a portal to this Outside place.”
“Holy shit. Can you build it?”
“I could if I had the schematics. The archives just say that agents back in the 1940s were keeping tabs on Hammond, and that he’d made some progress on a device that channeled that sort of energy. Unfortunately, we don’t have copies of his work here.”
“Where do they have copies?”
“That’s the best part,” Gears said, his voice rising an octave in excitement. “Hammond had a castle, an actual castle, built in Gloucester. We can be there in half an hour.”
“Then let’s go on a field trip,” I said.
Gears squeed. “Will do, Vinnie. See you in a bit.”
Okay, this was progress. Of course, even if I could control the energy necessary to open the portal, I still had no idea where to open it. This had been one hell of a week. Keepers, grave robberies, undead pirates…
Pirates. Pirates had navigators on their ships. And I knew a guy who was really good at dealing with pirate ghosts. I fumbled out my phone and dialed Herb Wallenby’s number. I got that sickening “it’s important but I’m going to have to leave a voicemail” feeling on the third ring, but then Herb picked up.
“Herb, it’s Vincent Corinthos. I know where Megan is.”
“Where? Is she safe? Let’s go get her right now!”
“Easy, big fella,” I said. “I know where she is, but I don’t know how to get there. Can you summon up a ship’s navigator who could read a set of coordinates that were outside of this dimension?”
“Gosh,” Herb said quietly. “That would have to be one heck of a navigator.” He paused. “Yes, yes I can. It will require a relic, though.”
“Where is it?”
“Hammond Castle, over in Gloucester.”
“You’re joking,” I said.
“No, that’s our best bet. Why?”
“I’m heading there later tonight.” I told Herb what time to meet me and hung up. We might pull this off yet. Hang on, Megan, I’m going to make this right.
I got back to HQ and rounded up Gearstripper. Five minutes later, we were in the lobby. Jake pulled out the special backpack Gearstripper rides in when we take him places. Gears moved Jake’s water bottle aside as he pulled out a fistful of candy bars from the big man’s desk. He was humming the theme to
Star Wars
.
“You’re in a good mood. Usually you hate riding in the backpack,” I said.
“That was before Leslie fixed it up,” Gears said as he held open the bag. “The backpack’s main compartment is way better insulated now, and it’s velvet lined. There’s a little beanbag for me to sit on and a hard plastic case that keeps me from getting squished. She even sewed in a little pocket so I could put in a portable wireless hotspot.” Gears’s sharp-toothed grin would’ve looked menacing if I hadn’t known him better. “It’s super comfy, Vinnie.”
Jake got my attention and gestured at a monitor on his desk. He pointed at a pudgy man who was squinting up at the camera and raised his eyebrows. “That’s Herb. He’s cool, Jake. Buzz him in.”
Jake complied and a moment later, Herb walked in. “Hello,” he said to Jake, who nodded. Jake’s not much of a talker. Herb turned his attention to me. “Is this the technological genius?”
“That’d be me, actually,” Gearstripper said, popping up onto the desk. He held out a tiny three-fingered hand. “Name’s Gearstripper.”
Herb hesitantly took the hand. After an awkward couple of pumps. Gears released Herb’s hand and turned back to Jake’s monitors. Herb took a step back and jerked his head, indicating I should follow. “What is he?” Herb whispered.
“He’s a gremlin.”
“Wow. Guess someone fed him after midnight, huh?”
I’ll take this moment to state just how good a gremlin’s ears are. Gears grabbed Jake’s water bottle, leaped from the desk to the floor in front of Herb, and poured the water over his head. He let out a high-pitched scream as he opened his yellow eyes as wide as he could and threw his arms out to his sides. He shook violently, flicking little droplets of water everywhere.
Herb let out a high-pitched shriek of his own and fell to the floor. He crashed on his butt and scrambled backward, away from Gears, until he hit Jake’s desk. Gearstripper advanced very slowly on the necromancer.
“Now you listen very closely,” Gears whispered as he stabbed a clawed finger at Herb’s chest. “We do not speak of that movie. Ever. Is that understood?” The fat in Herb’s chin and neck bobbed violently as he nodded. “Good,” Gears said, and vaulted back up onto the desk. He grumbled as he stalked back over to Jake’s monitors. “Stupid Spielberg. It’s always midnight somewhere. And reproduction by getting wet, that’s the most idiotic thing ever.”
I gave Herb a hand up and he ran a hand over his face. “You good?” He nodded. “Excellent. We’ve got work to do. Gears, gather up anything else you need from here and let’s get going.”
Herb led us to his well-loved metallic-green Taurus station wagon. I slung Gears and my backpack into the back seat and buckled in. The car was immaculately clean and had a faint hint of lemon. There were no fast-food wrappers on the floor, no dust on the dashboard, no fingerprints on the windows or windshield. In short, it was unnerving. Glancing in the back seat I saw a couple of blankets, a snowbrush, and a set of neatly coiled jumper cables. Wow. Herb was as much of a neat freak as Megan.
When we got to the castle, the parking lot was empty and no lights could be seen inside. In fact, the only light was coming from the next-door neighbor’s house. You’d think a castle would have a ton of privacy, be set on a fifty-acre lot, and have a moat filled with piranha. Hammond Castle was nestled in the suburbs and shared a driveway with the house next door. The scent of saltwater hung in the air and a thick fog was rolling in off the ocean. The fog might give us some cover, so that was something. Gears hopped up on the dashboard. “Oh, wow,” he squeaked. “This is so cool. Vinnie, do you think we’ll have time to take pictures?”
“No,” Herb and I said together. I continued, “Sorry, pal, but we can sightsee another time.” Gears’s ears drooped, but he nodded. I slung Gears and his backpack onto my back, and the three of us crossed the parking lot, stepped onto a snow-covered path that cut between two huge hedges, and dropped onto the castle grounds.
The castle had been converted to a museum years ago, and the main public entrance was around to the left. We, however, headed for the real front door, which required crossing a drawbridge extended over a dry moat. Herb and I picked our way across the drawbridge; not as much snow had fallen here at the coast, but patches of black ice were everywhere and navigating it with Gears on my back was tricky. The last thing I wanted was to take a header into the moat. When we finally got to the main door, an imposing door that looked like something out of
Lord of the Rings
, Herb put a hand on my shoulder. “Vincent, there are restless spirits here. I don’t know how long they’ll tolerate us.”
Gears popped out of the bag. “You mean we might get to meet John Hammond’s ghost?” His claws tightened on my shoulder. “Oh, that would be so cool, Vinnie.”
“Focus, Gears. We get in, grab the relic and the plans, and get out. Let’s keep otherworldly encounters off tonight’s agenda.”
Gears harrumphed as I Opened the door.
“How exactly did you do that?” Herb asked as we stepped inside. “You didn’t have a key or lock picks.”
“They must’ve forgotten to lock it.”
“You didn’t touch the handle.”
“Strange,” I said. “Come on, we’ve got work to do.” Herb gave me a sidelong glance but didn’t say anything more.
Given how big the castle was, I expected the inside to be a huge, cavernous space. Instead, the corridor we were in was normal, maybe even a bit smaller than normal. Stained-glass windows and tapestries adorned the walls, and the place had a faint musty smell. When I commented on the size of the room, Herb just gave me a half smile. “You ever try to heat a castle, Vincent?” He nodded to our right. “The great hall is this way, and it’ll be more what you’re expecting.” We passed into a wider hallway. To the left was a lobby with a sign for the gift shop. We turned right, heading deeper into the castle.
We walked down a set of stone stairs. The musty smell got stronger as we descended into the great hall. Now this was more like it. The ceiling in the great hall must’ve been sixty feet high, and the room at least that much across. A massive pipe organ dominated our end of the hall and a huge stained-glass window loomed above it. Medieval weapons and artifacts were stationed along the walls with faded paper tags taped next to them, describing each item. Herb went about two thirds of the way into the room and stopped at a case on the right side. “This is it,” he said, gesturing to the chest. “The skull of Columbus’s navigator.”
“Holy cow, that’s the relic?” I asked.
“Yeah, what were you expecting?” Herb replied.
“I don’t know, some sort of paranormal compass or astrolabe or something like that.”
“Nope,” Herb replied. “Hammond was a big Columbus fanatic. This was one of his prize collection pieces. We’ll snag the skull and then I’ll commune with the spirit who inhabited it to figure out where Megan is.”
“Um, no offense,” I said, “but didn’t Columbus wind up in the wrong place?”
Herb frowned at me. “He navigated correctly, Vincent, he was just doing it with incomplete data. The course he plotted would’ve worked if America hadn’t been in the way.”
“Never looked at it like that,” I said. “All right, let’s grab that on the way out. Gears, where’s this lab?”
“It’s through the basement,” Herb replied.
“You know this place awfully well,” I said. “You a tour guide here or something?”
Herb smirked, his eyes glowing the faintest shade of orange. “Not exactly.”
Realization hit me. “You’re in contact with one of the castle’s ghosts, aren’t you?” So much for avoiding otherworldly encounters.
Herb nodded. “Her name is Irene, the late lady of the castle. She’s going to guide us to Hammond’s lab.”
Gears whistled, his yellow eyes going huge. “Tell her that her husband was a genius and an inspiration to inventors everywhere,” he said reverently.
Herb smiled. “She thanks you for the compliment.”
I rubbed my face. “No offense, but the late Mrs. Hammond is okay with us breaking into her house, sneaking into her husband’s lab, and making off with some if his schematics and a priceless artifact?”
Herb shuffled his feet. “Yeah, about that. She’s willing to guide us and lead us to the lab. In exchange, we have to rid the lower levels of the castle of some undesirables.”
“What sort of undesirables?” I asked flatly. All I could think of were the video games where your first mission is to wipe out a bunch of giant rats that infested the sewers beneath the city.
“She doesn’t know their names, but she says they are a cruel and vicious bunch. There are ten or so of them, and they have taken other creatures prisoner. She will guide us to the lab and let us take whatever we want from the castle in return for clearing them out.” I ground my teeth. I didn’t have time for this. “Vincent,” Herb said. “I want to be done here more than you do. Accepting Irene’s offer will be faster in the long run. For Megan’s sake, let’s not dawdle.”
I let out a breath. “All right, Herb. Tell her she’s got a deal. Which way to the undesirables?”
Herb led us down a set of stairs marked Employees Only. The descent put us in a musty hallway that ended in a room full of landscaping equipment. We climbed over a bunch of wheelbarrows, hoses, and winterized lawnmowers. Gears must’ve felt right at home; the place was almost as cluttered as his workshop. We picked our way to the far wall, where Herb knelt down on the floor, counted four stones up, and pressed his palm against the wall. There was a faint click and a section of the wall slid away on hidden rollers. A thick sheet of cobwebs obscured the view. My switchblade made short work of them, and we were soon looking down a stone spiral staircase.
“Irene says that even the museum curator doesn’t know about this passage. We’re the first people to walk down these steps since Hammond himself.” That got another squee from Gears.
“So how did the creatures get in?” I asked.
“She says they just appeared one day last month.” Herb’s voice dropped to a whisper and he held up a hand. “And they’re just down this hall.”
About halfway down the hall, we came upon a battered metal husk. It looked like a steel crab that had been torn open by a giant can opener. Jagged gashes ran up and down its sides, and bulbs that must’ve served as eyes were shattered and dark. Gears scurried out of his pack and down my leg before I could stop him. He ran his tiny three-fingered hands over the shell. “Wow,” he whispered. “This was a security drone. Oh wow, the circuitry is beautiful. Herb, ask Irene if I can take this when we leave.”
A horrific banging sound came from down the hall; it reminded me of when a little kid used a wooden spoon and some pots as a drum set. If that were the case, there must’ve been an entire band of toddler-cookware-percussionists down there.
“What is that?” Gears asked.
A mouse peeked its head out of a hole in the wall, squeaked, and scurried back inside. “Let’s find out,” I said. While I may not be able to communicate telepathically with people, Urisk telepathy does let me communicate with and control most animals.