Project: Rogue (Project Series Book 2) (4 page)

Air filled my lungs, the smell of the males blood hitting me first, then Maggie’s fear, and lastly the smell of anger. It fueled me more than I would like to admit. Taking the remaining blood from my hand, I rubbed it onto my other hand and up and down both arms, then onto my face, showing everyone that I wasn’t afraid to kill, or prove that when you fucked with something of mine you would end up dead.

“Killer?” The way Maggie said my name, pulled me from my high, and before I could even respond to her I was being taken to the ground. An electric bolt zapping through my head and down my spine within a flash.

“Please don’t hurt him. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.” I hated that I had hurt Maggie and that she felt the need to defend me against our own kind but if I was being honest, I needed this.

I needed to prove myself. To show them that though I was tamed by Maggie, that the beast wasn’t gone. He was just lying dormant waiting for his next kill.

“Like I believe that… He knows what he’s done, Maggie, and you’re really fucking naive if you think he doesn’t.” Ty’s voice met my ears and I turned on the floor in the direction of his voice. Everything was so bright the lights above hurting my eyes, as another zap worked it’s way through my body.

Every cell in my body was on fire, and my head ached as if someone had landed a boot against it numerous times. I could feel hands on me as I was lifted into the air and placed on what had to be some type of stretcher.

“I’m not fucking naive. I know the type of person he is, though. Things are hard right now. Please, Ty.” My teeth clashed together, so hard my jaw ached. I couldn’t listen to her beg Ty for forgiveness. I would take whatever punishment was given to me.

I tried to blink away the pain but as soon as I did more pain washed over me. Still, I was able to catch a glimpse of Maggie as she stared Ty down, the determining look in her eyes. The one that made me love her all the more.

“Just because things are hard doesn’t mean people have to die. I should’ve known allowing you, and him to come to this institution would end in nothing but bad news.” I could hear the sneer in his voice even if I couldn’t see his face.

“You’re…” Maggie’s voice trailed off, and for a fraction of a second, I regretted doing what I had, because it always seemed to come back on Maggie.

“He will be punished for what he did today, and that’s all I have to say about this.” My stomach clenched, and my blood sang gleefully knowing that more pain and more blood was coming.

M
aggie

“
T
he first rule
of being a member of the Project society is to never show emotion in the face of your enemy.” Killer stalked me from the corner mat. I had to force the anger I was feeling towards him away, so I could focus on the task at hand. In reality I wanted nothing more than to kick him in the balls and walk away. After everything with Roger, and the sacrifices my father had made for both of us I thought for sure there would be no lingering doubts about what we were in each other’s eyes.

I stared intently at him, waiting for his next move. It was then that a mass of blackness flew across the mat and straight at me. My hands came up to my face to protect myself and my heart seemed to skip a beat. Killer’s right shoulder slammed into my mid-section forcing the air out of my lungs. With a huff, I landed against the mat, Killer twisting just enough that most of the impact from the fall rested on him.

“Second rule, never get lost inside your own head. Your mind is your best and worst asset when it comes to defeating your enemy.” I blinked and Killer was up and off of me. He offered me a hand up, and I took it slowly coming to my feet.

He just caught me off guard, that’s all. I thought to myself. The truth was I didn’t think I could do this. Even though I had killed someone and awakened−according to Gauge−there was nothing really inside of me that made me want to kill others. On the rare occasion that I felt threatened, the urge would spring to life. Yet, still something felt off about what and who I truly was.

“How exactly did you come about these rules?” I lingered around the edge of the mat. I wasn’t scared of Killer, but I also didn’t want to go against him again. We hadn’t even been really fighting, sparring, or battling against one another. What would happen when that day came? Could he hold himself back from ending my life? Or would I cease to exist? A part of me still wondered what he was truly capable of

“We didn’t come about them, Maggie.” His blue eyes cut to mine. “They’re what we’re founded on. When I was first brought here, into the Brotherhood these were the things that I was taught. I didn’t have to learn to fight or protect myself, it’s in my genetic make-up.” The way he talked made it seem like he also understood that I couldn’t possibly be the same as him.

“If you were born this way, then why do I have to be taught this? Shouldn’t it have been genetically injected in me? Shouldn’t it have come when I awakened?” These were questions I had never asked out loud. I knew Killer didn’t have the answers, the only person that would was out of reach.

The air shifted around me, and I gasped as Killer appeared right in front of me. He could be so fast when he truly wanted to be.

“No one knows what you are, or what you are capable of; and if you ask me, it’s not me who they should be scared of…” The words lingered between us, my pulse beating erratically at his unsaid words.

“Then who is it?” I asked.

“You.” He pointed at me, his face masked of all emotion. The dream I had before I awoke at the NYC institution told me that I was the chosen one, whatever that meant.

“Killer…” Anxiety filled my belly. I needed to talk to him about the memories that had appeared in that dream.

What if he already knows? The question bounced around inside my head, raging hell upon my soul. What if he already knew?

“You think we’re the same, Maggie.” Killer interrupted me. “We aren’t.” He added, turning around to head back towards his side of the mat completely blowing me off. It seemed like no matter what Killer was hell bent on showing me just how different we were from one another.

“I’ll show you just how much of the same we are.” Determination rooted itself deep inside of me, like a tree sinking its roots into the ground. Killer grinned at me in a cocky manner as if to say “bring it.” Then he charged me, and he continued to do so while lecturing me on proper landing techniques that would save me from getting killed. We did this for hours, skipping lunch completely. Everything hurt, my muscles and tendons tight and tense from overuse.

Still I couldn’t forget about the dream, or the fact that talking to Killer had jogged my memory. I needed to tell him, but every time I looked at him and thought about telling him in the last hour I felt something in my chest crack. A piece of myself was dislodging, and that piece of me said to keep that memory and its contents to yourself.

“Go stretch. I’ll meet you back at the room before we head to dinner.” Killer spoke softly, helping me up from the ass kicking he had just handed me. His eyes met mine and I felt so exposed, as if he could see right through to my soul. Neither of us had spoken about that day in the cabin. Questions were mounting, but the answers to them were nowhere in sight.

“I will, I just have a question.” I told him, curiosity evident in my tone. I hated all the secrets that were between us. It felt like a rift was starting to form, and eventually Killer would be out of reach. Lost in himself.

“Can it wait?” He rubbed the back of his head. I gave him a sour look. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t ask the question now.

“No it can’t.” I gripped him by the arm, forcing him to stay facing me. His eyes swept down to where it was that I gripped him. I could feel his emotions hitting me like waves, each one crashing more heavily into me than the last.

“That night at the cabin… What happened?” My words were hushed, and I looked around the room to make sure no one else was paying attention.

“Nothing Maggie.” He gritted out, his jaw was tense and the veins in his neck were protruding. Nothing, huh? I wasn’t going to take that for an answer, all day he had been pressing his luck, pushing harder than I had ever been pushed. It was my turn to press back now.

“If it was nothing, then you wouldn’t be acting as you are… If you ask me, nothing isn’t something to get that worked up about?” I felt as if I was being lied to at every corner.

You’re lying too. My conscious echoed back at me.

Killer’s chest pressed into mine, his eyes growing dark, his hands encompassing my wrists. A soft squeeze pressed against my flesh. His face bent down to my ear, where I could feel his hot, heavy breaths. A shiver shot down my spine, feeding into the craving that was Killer. It didn’t matter what reaction we had to one another or what we said, nothing could change that connection that we had to one another.

“If I could remember what happened Maggie, then I would tell you.” The roughness in his voice, shot straight to my core. Something inside of me took over, and without thought to the witnesses that were in the room. I stretched up, pressing my lips firmly against his.

His fingers dug into my wrists, but he didn’t stop or pull away, instead he deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping into my mouth. I could feel the power in him, the desire that was right below the surface. He wanted me, and he definitely wanted more than he was letting on.

Pressing more firmly into him, I pulled my hands away taking one and running it up and down the front of his shirt, the other I used to pull him in closer. Still I could feel apprehension in his movements as he pushed me against a nearby wall a few feet away. This was the last thing we needed to be doing, but it felt so right; his lips on mine, the passion between us within the range of causing a fire.

“We have to stop…” He mumbled against my lips, but his body said otherwise. I was overcome with want, a frenzied need for more lingered right under the surface.

If only I could get a taste, one small sample before…

“I’ll try my hardest not to hurt you.” Killer’s lips were against my throat and I could feel the wetness between my legs pooling. His scent surrounded me, as I gripped the bed sheets beneath me.

“More, please…” I begged him, in between pants. I could feel the distinct building of an orgasm and he hadn’t even entered me yet.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Maggie.” He stared into my eyes anxiety filling his. I could see the tension in his muscles and I hated how afraid he was, how he worried about hurting me so much when we were both the same thing.

“You can’t break me, Killer and it doesn’t matter. I trust you.” I begged, not only with my words but my actions, spreading my legs wider and pressing my lips against his. I could feel the moment his walls came down and he gave in to those feelings of lust. His cock sunk into me, his hard flesh meeting my soft flesh.

“If I hurt you…” He groaned. I was past thought, my body climbing to that point between floating and falling.

“Killer…” I moaned deeply, pressing my heels into the back of his ass. I wanted more, so much more. Nothing would ever be good enough with him. There would always be another high that we could meet together.

“I won’t forgive myself.” He whispered, slamming into me to the hilt, his cock growing harder with every single stroke.

“Just give me this, this moment with you. If you can’t promise me forever, give me this right now.” I could barely speak as he thrust deep inside me, his shoulders tightening with every push, his legs pressing firmly into my own, and a look of anguish on his face as he tried to hold himself back. What he didn’t realize was I wanted all of him. Every single piece of him.

The dark. The light. The good. The evil. It all made him who he was. And I craved it.

“I love you, Maggie.” Our breaths mingled together, his fingers digging into my hips as he held me still. The mask he held in place was slipping, and so was I.

“I love you too, Killer…” Then it happened. I clamped down, my muscles tensed, and a deep euphoria covered my body from head to toe. I could feel nothing, and everything at the same time. My senses were heightened and it felt like I could feel Killer more. Every movement that he made was connected to my own. It felt as if we were one.

“Maggie?”

I could see Killer above me, concern etched in his features. A grin the size of Texas was upon my face so I wasn’t sure why he was so concerned.

“Maggie, are you with me?” Killer’s face came in and out of focus as I came back to reality, my face growing red as I realized I had basically had a wet dream while awake.

“Uhhh…” I pulled away from Killer as if he had the power to burn me.

“Maggie, are you okay?” Killer asked another question, this time taking a step forward. I couldn’t help the dream I had or the realism that I felt from it. I was drawn to Killer. I nodded my head yes and then made a beeline for the exit. I had to get out of here, away from him, and into a cold shower before I made a mistake that would lead to giving myself over to Killer more than emotionally but physically as well.

The answer to Killer’s question still lingering in the back of my mind as I ran down the hall towards the sleep quarters.

Was I ever truly going to be okay again?

K
iller

T
he mood
between Maggie and I had seemed to grow worse in the passing days. I could feel her building a wall between us, each brick making a deafening blow. Yet I couldn’t stop myself from holding her at night. She didn’t know the good she had brought out in me. The power she held over me. I knew she wanted answers, but I just didn’t have them. I wanted to leave the dreams I was having in the past. Fear wasn’t really an emotion I had ever had to experience, not when I was the one that struck that emotion in others the most.

Finding Maggie again changed that. She was the one thing that evoked emotions in me that I hadn’t felt since I was a human. She remembered me for the person I was before everything went to shit. When everyone else saw the monster in me and ran for cover, she stood her ground, draping her small arms around me. Even if I didn’t want to admit it out loud, Maggie had me wrapped around her finger. Anything she needed or wanted I would get it or do it for her, all she had to do was ask.

“There’s no information that we could find on what Maggie could be…” Gauge’s rough voice sounded on the other end of the phone as he trailed off. Our training sessions seemed tenser which I blamed mostly on myself. Physically I was holding back. I couldn’t fathom hurting Maggie now. Still, I knew she needed to feel pain and be taught how to defend herself the proper way. I just wasn’t sure I could be the one to teach her.

“Nothing? Not even any documents that show she was taking L1 back then?” I kept my voice low as I headed down the hallway towards the dorm that Maggie and I shared. Getting answers without going to the source was going to be way fucking harder than I expected.

“I’m afraid to say it, but maybe what Maggie was given had nothing to do with L1. She was experimented on before the rest of us ever were. She was a child, not a teenager or even an adult. I mean…” He paused, hesitating as if he didn’t want to ask the question but continued anyway. “Have you asked Maggie about it?”

I stopped in my tracks, my eyes dropping down to my boot covered feet. Everything about who we were was generally given to us in a memory the day we awakened. Maggie hadn’t mentioned it, therefore I figured she hadn’t had anything like that happen.

“She hasn’t brought up anything. No memories, nothing… And as far as seeing a change in her nothing is really different. She seems more…” How did I say this without it seeming weird, or overexposing Maggie?

“What?” Gauge asked.

“She seems more sexual. Her emotions are definitely heightened. I can tell you that much.” I murmured into the speaker.

“That’s not really uncommon, you know that Killer. I mean most of us have an extremely high sex drive, mirrored with the need to kill. She could just be developing a lot slower than the rest of us… I mean what female do we have to go off of, especially one as old as her with some version of the L1 in her system. Maybe she’s already surpassed all the things we currently know of. There’s literally nothing we can go off of.” I could tell Gauge was just as lost as I was, the agitation of not having all the answers plagued him.

“I’m not sure what I’ll do if I find out she’s lying to me, or better yet withholding information.” I sighed, kicking at the bottom of the wall, a black scuff mark showing as I dragged my foot down it.

“Honestly, if she’s withholding information maybe there is a reason, or maybe she just hasn’t gotten all her memories back yet.” Gauge tried to reason with me, I could tell that’s what he was doing, trying to calm the beast that was always willing and ready to play. He still worried about me, even from over a thousand miles away. I couldn’t blame him I worried about myself most days. Wondered if I could control the urge when it hit, because it would, one way or another.

“She better pray for her own sake that she hasn’t received all her memories because I’m not sure what will happen if she’s hiding shit from me.” I ran a hand through my hair, a ragged breath escaping me. I had all intentions of protecting Maggie, even if it was from me but I couldn’t do that if she was hiding shit.

“Don’t do something you’ll regret later, Killer. You know you’re not the same person without her. I’ve seen both sides of you.” Gauge proclaimed.

“I’ll do whatever it takes to protect her… That includes from herself.” I was done with the conversation because now I was pissed. The thought of Maggie lying to me was implanted inside my head. That had to be the reason she was so distant from me. It was the only reason I could logically come up with.

I gripped my phone in my hand so hard I was sure the screen would shatter. My boots stomped against white hospital like flooring as I headed towards our dorm. I could sense her as I grew closer, my body changing to match her own emotions.

Coming around the corner I stopped mid-step, my stomach twisting in knots. She was sitting in the lounge at the giant island talking to Xaiver, another project member. I had spoken to him on a couple occasions and he seemed like a nice dude then but that was when he wasn’t in Maggie’s face. He now seemed like he would be a nicer dude without a pulse.

“Killer man, I was just talking to your girl about some of your kick ass moves.” Xaiver grinned up at me, his eyes locking in on me. My own eyes were locked on Maggie though who seemed unsure of what was about to take place. I knew she was expecting me to lose my shit, after all that is what I should be doing but because she expected it I decided to switch it up and play nice.

Only once.

“I remember beating your ass at hand to hand combat. How are you?” I pulled my eyes from Maggie’s and met his while speaking the words as nicely as I could, the entire time I was biting the inside of my cheek. Blood pooled in my mouth, the delicate copper droplets sparking rage in as they landed on my tongue. Shock registered on Maggie’s face as I continued to play nicely with him.

“Beating my ass?” Xaiver raised an eyebrow at me in retaliation. I shot one back. We both knew that I could take just about anyone here. I couldn’t say everyone because I hadn’t met every single person, that and I was only half of a cocky bastard. Not a full one. Even I was aware that there would eventually come a day when someone could kick my ass. That day wasn’t today though.

“Shall we schedule a rematch of some sort?” I baited him. I was always up for a good fight; it was the easiest way to rid yourself of aggression, something I was constantly carrying around with me.

Xaiver’s eyes shot down to Maggie as if he was asking her if he could. That just seemed to make things worse, I clenched my fists tightly to stop myself from reaching out and slamming his head against the counter.

Play nice, Killer.

“A rematch? I’ve never really got to see Killer fight. I mean other than in training and that one time…” Maggie’s voice seemed far away as if she was lost in a memory or thought.

“Then you’ll enjoy it as much as I will.” I bent down nipping at her earlobe as I spoke. She squealed loudly, pushing me away, and grabbing at her ear.

“Tomorrow okay with you?” Xaiver questioned. The calm, cool, and collective person he was moments ago was gone. I couldn’t help but relate to him, we all seemed to change our emotions in the face of our enemies. Given, we weren’t technically enemies but when we got in that ring, it wasn’t to have a fucking tea party and eat cookies.

“Perfect. Three o’clock.” He finished making his sandwich and took a large bite out of it, nodding his head yes.

“See you then, Killer.” Xaiver dismissed us, walking away with his food in hand. I wanted to laugh, and I couldn’t even remember the last time I had laughed.

“You didn’t have to challenge him like that?” Maggie sounded pissed and that was astounding to me. Shouldn’t I be the one pissed?

“Challenge him? I didn’t do shit. He did that to himself.” I snapped without thought, grabbing the back of the chair and turning her towards me.

“Way to play nice, though. It’s always funny getting to see you out of your element.” She smiled up at me, her perfectly straight white teeth showing. Dark brown hair cascaded down her back and her bangs were cut straight across her face, hovering just barely above her eyebrows.

Big brown eyes peered up at me, brown eyes that stirred a fire in my chest. I had given this beyond beautiful woman the power to burn me repeatedly and still I could die a million deaths and would still endure the pain of her burn. Love did crazy things to the mind and body. Love made us crazy in general, but it also made us sane.

“I played nice because it was the right thing to do. I had already staked my claim in front of all of them. Plus, I knew Xaiver.” I knew quite a few of the men here, as members of the Brotherhood were always being transferred somewhere. Still, I hadn’t gotten to experience that part of the Project society because I was considered unstable. I merely saw these men as they came and went from the Chicago Brotherhood.

“At least you’re learning something. I guess you don’t have rocks rolling around inside that large head of yours.” She teased, her eyes twinkling with amusement. I couldn’t stop myself, my hands had a mind of their own as I cupped the side of her cheek. Her skin was soft and warm. It wasn’t scarred, or ruined by the battle of fighting for your life for years.

She was different than me, and her being alive in the flesh was one huge stark reminder of that. Whatever it was that PGI had turned her into, they didn’t want anyone to know. My thumb rubbed across her cheek and down onto her bottom lip. I could see her eyes begging me to take her, to prove to her just how deep my love for her ran. And I wanted to. I wanted to connect with her on a level that was more than just touching.

“I want you…” The words were barely audible but they were there, I heard them with my own ears, and I’ll be damned if my cock didn’t rise to attention. Still, it couldn’t happen with all these questions lingering between us.

“I want you too. More than you can possibly imagine, but we can’t… Not when there are so many unanswered questions between us. I can’t take you when I don’t even know what and who you are, or where it leaves you and me.” I was hoping that it would cause her to speak out and tell me something, maybe something that she hadn’t told me before. Instead, I was left breathless when I heard the words leave her mouth.

“Not knowing what I am or what I’m capable of scares me more than anything at the moment, so don’t worry that I don’t want this because when it comes to you Killer I’ll always want this.”

I stared into her eyes as her confession sunk deeply into my bones. Loving someone and being connected to them on a soul shattering level were two very different things. I knew nothing of love before Maggie, just anger and rage. Still, I knew that if anything ever happened to her, or if PGI ever found her and hurt her again, it would be soul shattering. It would destroy me to the core. It would end the existence of who I was.