Project: Rogue (Project Series Book 2) (2 page)

“I told you I don’t know!” I screamed breaking my silence after enduring the same question for what seemed to be hours. As soon as the words left my dry lips a searing pain sliced through my skull. Images played out like a play right before my eyes, colors of every spectrum showed, and a smile ghosted my lips as an image of Maggie filtered into the dark spots. Filling my heart and mind with tiny specks of light.

“Do you not understand the severity of your actions, Killer? Do you not understand that with her birth comes your death?” Fuck! This voice was talking in circles, circles that I refused to follow him through. Instead, I focused all my attention on the images of Maggie and me that had appeared magically in my mind.

Happiness filled my chest, lifting me up. I had to find her, bring her home, and show her just how much I loved her. Just how sorry I was for breaking us both, for causing our damnation.

“Your memories of her are very strong.” The voice spoke once again interrupting the scenes going on inside of my head. This enraged me. It made my blood boil to know the voice was looking in on the most intimate moments of mine and Maggie’s life. Moments we shared together.

“You know nothing! Nothing at all.” I yelled, and forced my attention back to Maggie. Not wanting to ruin the precious minutes I had left with her. He didn’t know Maggie. He couldn’t. No one did. Only I did. She was mine. All mine.

“He’s going into shock, dose him up and then bring her in. When he wakes up, he needs to see her.” I could hear their whispers, and it was then that I realized just how far gone I was. Where was I really and what had they done with the girl, with Maggie? The love of my life. The light to my darkness.

M
aggie

W
armth cradled me
, wrapping me in a blanket that I never wanted to leave the early light of the morning filtered in through the blinds, basking rays of sunlight upon my skin. The previous months had passed in a flurry, the events of what had taken place in the cabin were like a puddle of water mixed with gasoline. I couldn’t remember everything, only bits and pieces that my mind allowed me to remember and try as I might I couldn’t seem to piece all the memories together or even make sense of most of them. All I knew was that Killer had gotten us out of there in one piece. I could feel it in my heart, even if I had no recollection of it taking place. Without him, there is no way we could’ve made it to the present alive.

I was barely awake, as a growl filled my ears, ripping me from my anxiety filled thoughts. I rolled over in the blanket of warmth to face Killer knowing that being able to see him alive would never get old. I had lost so much over the years, but I had also gained a lot in return. I had learned many new things, and explored deeply into a world that I didn’t know even existed, and I had started to realize ever since the night I killed that man in an attempt to protect Killer and myself that I was more like Killer than I had ever thought. The dream that played out right before my eyes the moment I fell to the ground in that cabin still resonated through me.

The secrets of what I was, and what I would become were stuck deep inside of me. Returning to the present I clung to Killer, now more than I ever had, knowing that I had no one left to go home to. That my life had been a complete and utter lie, and that everyone I loved was missing or dead.

“Did you sleep well?” His voice was deep, so deep it vibrated through me. A shiver shot down my spine before I could even comprehend what it was my body was doing. Every single part of me craved him. I stretched against his rough edges, wanting to get closer to him. Every piece of his flesh that touched my own caused an eruption of desires to form deep in my belly.

Stop! I said to myself even if it was the last thing I wanted to do. We had far more dire needs to discuss, and I didn’t need to be blurring the lines between us any more than I already had and honestly sex would do just that.

“I did. I didn’t have one single nightmare.” He raised his eyebrow up at me in disbelief a frown beginning to take over his face. The concern he had for me was overwhelming sometimes.

“Really, I didn’t. There were no thoughts or memories that plagued me last night.” I continued to say, a smile forming on my lips.

“Easy for you to say.” He shot back at me gruffly, causing my easy smile to slip away as he shoved from the bed like a bullet from the barrel of a gun. It was never easy for him to be close to me, at least in the form that we were at the moment. Since that horrible night at the cabin where he left me alone to protect us both, he had been distant, even though he knew I needed him more now than ever before. I felt alone here, even when I was surrounded by a room full of people.

Since coming to the new Brotherhood facility he’s been quiet, and more closed off. He never speaks of his dreams or the memories that I know plague him. I think finding out that we were connected at least on my end has some way just seemed to make it worse, creating an even bigger rift between us. It’s hard for me to believe that one of us is good, and the other evil. I can’t see Killer being anyone but the man I love more than life itself.

I didn’t like feeling as I did, nor did I like the way he was feeling. Still, I was trying my hardest to understand his need for space. That and even if I wanted to do something about all the room that had come between us, I didn’t know where I would even start.

The lies that surrounded us had the potential to end our already unstable relationship. Every single time I turned around there was a new secret, far worse than the last. I needed to hold onto him for all it was worth. For however long that might be.

Yet, anger consumed me whenever he acted as he was right at this moment, even more so when I was right here, giving him a chance to talk to me being the partner I knew he needed. “If you would talk about the dreams, or whatever haunts you then maybe it would make them stop? It always helps to talk about the things that bother you most.” I was a hypocrite for asking him to talk about his problems when I myself refused to do so.

Then again it was merely a suggestion, one that I had made many times since being moved to the new facility together. All I wanted was to help him, except that never seemed to be the result instead things seemed to grow stiffer between us.

It was even worse when the other project members didn’t know if I could be trusted, and worser when they felt there were things we were keeping from them. If I was being honest of course there were things we were hiding from them. There were things we had yet to tell them just like there were things I was keeping from Killer, for instance, the memories I was shown after killing to protect us. I didn’t want Killer to think worse of himself, or to think I was going to turn on him so I weighed my options. Knowing that keeping it a secret as long as I could be the most beneficial thing at this point.

After all, we all had a secret we needed to keep. In the end, everything I did was to protect him. Us.

I could see the blind rage beginning to flicker deep within him, the fact that I had told him how to handle his demons when I was barely managing my own was like the pot calling the kettle black. He didn’t need to know that, though. I had faith in myself, enough to keep pushing onward and to keep us together.

“If it was that easy I would. It’s not Maggie. The things that I feel and endure are my own. They’re my own guilty pleas, my own fears, and things that I shouldn’t burden other’s minds with. We might be the same on the inside to a certain degree, but when it comes to who we are, what makes us-us; we couldn’t be any more different.” His eyes were feral, and a warning lingered within them. A warning that said I dare you to keep pushing. Was it bad that I wanted to see just how far it was he would go?

The way he spoke to should’ve struck fear deep into my body. I could feel the energy around us change, it was charged with electricity and the current was something that I knew would shock me, electrify me straight to the core, if I touched him. Still, I craved it the anger, and the danger that lingered inside of him. It created sparks that ignited inside of me, it made the newly found beast inside of me want to break free of the reigns.

I was made to destroy those that crave the need for blood, but when it came to Killer I would always want him more than I would want the need to destroy him. I knew that was something that would never change.

“We’re the same…” I spoke softly, keeping the hurt I was feeling out of my voice. “We’re everything we want to be.” I continued. Pain coursed through me and like a bullet being shot from a gun, it radiated deep inside of me, through my veins, and into the deepest parts of my soul.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Maggie. You know that more than anyone. But me? I’m a killer. There’s a darkness in my heart that you will never have. The person you used to know is gone and even though I wish I could bring him back…” Killer struggled with his words as if he knew that I was already hurting and that saying the wrong thing would be the final blow. “I can’t. He’s gone. Dead. He died the day I did and damn it…” Rage flared like a flame from a lit match. I took a step back in fear. It wasn’t that I thought he would hurt me; it was that my instinct was to step away. “I desperately want to be that man for you, but I can’t be. Killer is who I am now. He’s who I have been for a long time now. Death is what I deal in, and if I ever hear you compare yourself to the destruction known as myself, I will have to show you why they call me Killer.” I could feel a challenge building deep inside of me.

My core clenched, my body heating up as a red flush coated my cheeks. He shot me a look that said let-me-fuck-you right before shaking his head and stalking off into the bathroom. The sound of the shower starting before I could even respond to what he had said. The sexual tension between us was becoming so strong I wasn’t sure how much longer I would be able to fight it off.

Relief and shock ran rampant. Relief that he had spoken about some of his emotions and shock because I wasn’t aware that he felt the way he did. However, the more I thought about it the more I realized that Killer was my damnation, and I was his saving grace. Where a dark shadow appeared a light was needed to form it and to him I was that light.

My heart seemed to ache in my chest as I thought of just how different he thought we were. Did he know something that I didn’t? I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. I had better things that I needed to be doing like training, or to have a better understanding of what it was that I was really doing here. They had no records on me, or of me being a part of the project society. It was as if I didn’t exist at all, which I was sure was what they had wanted it all along. No one knew of my cancer or planned death.

Gauge, the leader of the Chicago Brotherhood, had transferred us to new housing in a new city where he hoped we wouldn’t make a scene after everything that had happened at the cabin. Time was something that seemed to stand still while we were there. My memory was littered with mere glimpses of things that took place at that time, but whether or not any of it was real I didn’t know. My body seemed to shut down when I realized Killer wasn’t waking up.

The people here were just as ruthless as they were at the Brotherhood in Chicago. Their faces mirrored my own when it came to the way I looked at them. We shared the same distaste for one another, the same distrusting looks. I knew we should band together after all we had been through, but that meant trusting one another and when your life was nothing but a lie trust was often a gift that was hardly ever given, even to your own kind.

Rustling around the room, I pulled out my training clothes. They made us wear black everything. Black shoes, shirt, and windbreaker pants. I slipped into the clothing with ease only slightly shocked the first time I put them on that everything had fit perfectly. Killer must’ve told Ty the Brotherhood leader what size I wore. Either that or Gauge let them know, either way, it surprised me a little bit.

Just as I slipped into my shoes a loud knock sounded at the door. I was within a millisecond of answering it when I heard the water in the bathroom shut off, and Killer walk out in nothing but a pair of dark pants hanging deliciously low on his hips. The look on his face told me not to touch the door handle, but the part of me that was changing, becoming my own person told me to do as I pleased. Defying Killer wouldn’t get me killed anymore.

Without a second thought, I reached for the doorknob and heard the exhaling of a breath from Killer, which caused a smile to play across my lips. The smile slipped from my face the moment I took notice of who was on the other side of the door.

“Ty.” I greeted him through clenched teeth. Ty was the leader of this Brotherhood. He was a silent killer. The one you had to watch out for. I knew it because I could feel it in my bones. He made me feel inferior in the eyes of the other men here. To say I hated him without knowing him was an understatement and I felt truly wrong for it as well. I knew that we all had our own stories to tell, but if I was being completely honest no story he could tell would ever change my mind about him.

His dark eyes shot down at me. I was half as big as the others here, their bodies could over power my own, and with that alone, I knew if given the chance they would dispose of me for good. Still, I had something that they wanted to use, or rather someone. Killer. I forced my facial features to a neutral look, not wanting him to read into anything too much. I got the feeling he did enough of that as it was.

Ty said nothing to me, and instead, we stood in silence just staring at one another for a long moment, both of us simply trying to figure out the other. His face was always shadowed as if he had something on his mind that he didn’t want to talk about or at least let you know about. His body was large, coming in almost at the same height as Killer, although he weighed a little less than him. He was built like a tank, and his hands could squish my head without thought, even so, I couldn’t find it in me to fear him. All I felt for him was dislike. My eyes drifted over his bald head, the man didn’t seem to have a caring bone in his body.

“Maggie.” When he finally said my name it caused my stomach to recoil, acid backing up into my throat. The man rubbed me the wrong way and in an instant I could feel the air around me change, and I knew the moment Killer felt the change in my demeanor because he stepped into my space now fully dressed, and ready to go in all black.

“What is it that you want, Ty? I promised that I would start training her. That I would do as you asked. Is there something you need? Or have you just come here to press your fucking luck?” Killer growled the remainder of his words as he watched Ty’s eyes slide up and down my body. I could see Ty weighing his options, seeing if he could get Killer to throw the first punch. Maybe his plan was to get us kicked out of this Brotherhood. I didn’t know what his problem was, but it was obvious he didn’t like either of us. I know that my dislike for Ty was instant when we first arrive and my opinion of his has yet to change but, there is something more going on between Ty and Killer. The hostility between the two of them is something I’ve never seen before even with Killer and his temper. I turned back towards Killer taking in his body language.

My eyes lingered down to Killer’s fists, which were held at his sides in a vice like grip. His masculine, sharp jaw was clenched tightly, his eyes were dark and dangerous as if he could and would kill in an instant if he had too.

Ty smirked, a small heavy laugh leaving his mouth. “Talk to me in a disrespectful manner one more time, and I will rip away whatever chance of survival in this place either of you have.” There it was. The threat. I knew he didn’t want us here. Still, the look in his eyes told me he definitely had the power to end us. The question was, could he get away with it? Could he truly have us put down just like a dog that was unwanted by others? Rage tugged at my emotions as my lip curled in anger, just like that dog that would be euthanized.