Prohibited: an erotic novel (15 page)

“I’ll call you.” He stated.

“Whatever.” I said slamming the door in his face.

I turned and leaned my body against the warm wood trying to collect all my thoughts.

Finally finding my voice, I stated out loud.

“What in the hell have I gotten myself into?”

Maria

“Can we hurry up?” I said looking at my watch.

It was a quarter past two and I really needed to get going.

“I need to meet Selena so I can get the house ready for Thanksgiving.”

I raised my head and tried hard not to look at their faces. Instead I focused on the room around me.

 Dr. Julian’s office was very contemporary with abstract framed art on the walls and carpeting the color of puke green.

The puke green color scheme continued to the leather chair that Dr. Julian sat in facing the long leather couch of the same color.

Dr. Julian, as usual, scribbled on her notepad occasionally looking up to smile at Michael and to shoot me evil glares.

Her chair leaned against a huge over sized cherry wood desk that is covered in tacky frames and kiddy artwork.

If it were up to me, I would have chosen a more professional therapist.

Her office is very tawdry and unprofessional. I can’t stay in there for long let alone for an hour during our twice-weekly sessions. It was very depressing.

I am not certain why we are here. Seeing this therapist is a misuse of my valuable time. We were forty minutes into today’s session and I felt nothing had been accomplished.

It was all Michael’s suggestion we see a therapist. We only discussed Michael wanting additional sex and how I am by no means focusing on his needs. I would hope that taking care of his children and keeping our affairs in order would serve precedent over his “needs”. I’m sorry if I am trying to run a household and raise his two children.

Plus, wasn’t he getting his needs met elsewhere? Then why in the hell do I need to be here to discuss anything with him.

The therapist looked at me and folded her arms across her chest. She didn’t look happy.

“So tell me Maria. Is putting the house together for thanksgiving and shopping with your friends more important than working through issues in your marriage?”

“Well, there is a lot to do.” I answer nonchalantly.

I looked at my watch again. I am going to be late.

Michael sighed.

Dr. Julian sighed.

“What? We sit here and we talk about the same things at every session. Today I have more important things to do.”

“This is what I deal with everyday.” Michael said.

I observed that tiny vein in his neck pulsating. That always happened when he was angry.

“Everything else is more important to her than I am. Selena is more important, impressing her friends is more important.”

I am appalled that he would say that! I stood and faced him.

“That is a lie. Not everything is more important than you, however if I don’t put our boys, our friends and our lifestyle first, who will?”

I was starting to get really agitated. In his mind, he was always the victim.

Michael stood up and faced me. He is seven inches taller than I am. I looked at him. He looked so much older. From this angle, I could see all the wrinkles on his face including that one wrinkle that creases his mouth. Later I may talk to him about some silicone injections.

He ran his hand through his sable hair. His voice sounded tired when he spoke.

“Maria,” he said reaching out and grabbing my hand.

“You are a wonderful mother. Our sons are kind,

generous and intelligent young men. Your loyalty and dedication to this family has never been in question.”

He moved closer to me and I started to feel uneasy.

I took a step back.

“All I am asking for is a friend and a companion. I need more than just a lover. Why can’t you understand? Why can’t you be a wife to me?”

“If that were true you wouldn’t be fucking every woman with a pulse.”

“Maria!” Dr. Julian yelled.

I quickly started to lose my composure.

“I apologize for my foul language. Although, you should ask your star pupil what he has been up to before you judge me.”

Dr. Julian leaned back in her chair and started to scribble madly on her notepad.

I resumed my seat on the ghastly leather couch. I crossed my legs and leaned back. It was silent in the room.

Dr. Julian looked up from her notepad.

“Michael, are you having an affair? It is time that you told the truth.”

My eyes traveled to Dr. Julian. I am really starting to despise her. Michael hung his head and avoided our eyes.

“It’s true.”

Dr. Julian looked surprised.

“How long has this affair been going on Michael?

 “Multiple affairs for the last six years.”

I was stunned. I knew Michael had been having affairs for awhile but not for six years. I opened my mouth to speak and nothing came out.

Dr. Julian looked so upset.

“Michael, express why you feel there is a need for these other women.”

Michael looked into her eyes.

“I love my wife. I have never stopped loving her, but a man has needs. I need a woman to love me. I don’t think Maria can give me that.”

“Have you told her about these things?  Do you tell her when we are not in this setting that you love her?”

“I do. I also try to show her that I think she is beautiful. I want to show her my love physically.  It just doesn’t matter to her.”

I could not believe he was speaking like this. He wanted to show me his love physically? Than what was he showing all of those other women?

Dr. Julian’s eyes shifted from Michael to me.

“How long have you known he has been having an affair?” She asked writing in her notepad and not looking at me.

“I knew the very first time he came home and headed straight for the shower.” I recalled.

I knew Michael was seeing other women. I found condoms in his desk drawer and foreign numbers on his cell phone. He would “work late” and immediately come home to shower.

After a few seconds, he turned and looked at me. His voice was calm, his gaze steady.

“Maria, I know what I have been doing is wrong. You will not let me touch you, kiss you, make love to you. It makes me wonder if we are both cheaters.”

“Are you kidding me?”

He rubbed his hands over his eyes.

“Well, you never want to have sex. You never let me kiss you. It hurts to think my wife does not want to touch me.”

I could not help but to stare at him. His words were full of such emotion and passion. For a second I felt some sympathy for him. Only for a second.

“Michael, I have been faithful to you. I have taken care of your children. I have done everything a good wife does-”

“Except fuck your husband.” He interrupted.

“What is that suppose to mean?’

He sighed.

“Maria, it means I am tired of being your roommate and just the person that pays your bills. I love you madly, but I can’t do this anymore. If you don’t want to be a wife to me then I think we need to get a divorce.”

My mouth dropped open. I could not believe what I was hearing.

“A divorce!”

Once the words were out he dropped his head and heaved a sigh. Then all eyes were on me. I looked from Michael to Dr. Julian and back to Michael. I didn’t know what to say. What was I supposed to say? I was so confused.

“Are you crazy?” I said leaning back on the hard leather couch. “After all I have put up with? You want to abandon me and our family?”

“Maria,” he said reaching out for me.

I avoided his grasp and stood.

“For the past six years I have let you have all the affairs you want. I have said nothing when you come home late. I have looked the other way when women call and leave you provocative messages.”

“Maria, do not act like you were putting up with me. You did not say anything because you were happy that I didn’t come home to you. You are grateful that there are some other women willing to fuck me so you wouldn’t have to.”

“Michael!” Dr. Julian gasped.

“Admit it Maria.”

I wasn’t thinking. I saw red and could not stop myself.

“You’re right. I didn’t care. I was relieved when you stopped pursuing me so much. The more you slept with those women the more relieved I felt.” I said taking a couple of steps toward him.

“I knew however, that no matter what, you would still be coming home to me. No matter whom you…you know what with, you were coming home to your family!”

I felt tears come to my eyes and I knew I had to get out of there. I did not want them to see me cry. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. I grabbed my purse and turned for the door.

Dr Julian called my name, but I had made up my mind.

“Don’t bother. This will be my last time coming here. I’m done!”

I threw open the door walked into the brightly lit corridor slamming the door behind me. I was finished with this therapy. I walked swiftly down the corridor straight for the elevators. I wanted to get away and fast.     

The elevator door was opening as I reached it. A woman of about thirty years old with long blonde hair exited and walked past me down the hall. I entered the elevator and pressed the button for the basement leading into the parking garage. Michael and I drove separate cars. He drove his BMW and I drove the Mercedes.

I made my way over to the black Mercedes and unlocked the doors. The beep from the alarm echoed throughout the parking garage. I turned on the most soothing music that I could find in Michael’s car and headed for the department store five minutes late.

Thirty minutes later, I pulled the Mercedes in front of the store. I exited, handing the valet my keys and hurried inside.

The place was bustling with activity. You definitely could tell that the holiday season was in full swing with Christmas trees out on display. Mothers and children were running everywhere. It was hard to maneuver through the place. I wasn’t sure how I was going to find Selena.

I walked around the store searching for her. Eventually I discovered her near the perfume counter chatting with the saleslady. As I approached, she turned towards me.

“There you are. What was the holdup?” She asked as we embraced and she kissed me on the cheek.

I struggled for something to tell her. The girls have no idea that Michael and I are seeing a therapist. I was positive if our friends found out it would give them something else to use against me.

“Well,” I stammered. “Michael and I just decided to have an impromptu lunch and I just lost track of time.” I said making my way toward the domestic department.

Selena followed at my heels trying to catch up.

“Oh, you and Michael had a nice romantic lunch?” she said grinning from ear to ear.