Pretty Little Lies (Lie #2) (18 page)

Dylan

Ethan was just on the other side of the doors leading into the hotel, but that didn’t stop him from leaving Neal to guard me. I watched out the windshield as Neal leaned against the hood of the truck, chewed on a nasty cigar, and motioned for me to join him. I hopped out of the truck and slammed the door behind me. Neal Asher was in on the making-me-pay scheme. The thought of spending anytime with him alone caused my skin to crawl. When Ethan lost his temper with me back at the apartment, I admit I was terrified. He had lost all control until he looked at me, and I saw a peace wash over him. It was then I realized how much fight Ethan had in him. He would rain Hell down on anyone that tried to hurt someone he loved. There was no one he wouldn’t fight except me. It was in his eyes; I was the one calming force he had in his life. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for him, including listening to whatever his dad had to say. 

“I’m sorry for everything you’ve suffered in your life. Especially, everything my family put you through,” Neal said and took a puff of his cigar. “I’ve already watched one son lose a child. I won’t watch another one. Ethan wants you and that makes you an important part of this family. Just remember we take care of what is ours.”

I couldn’t speak past the lump in my throat. I just hoped Neal could see in my eyes how much Ethan meant to me. I wasn’t sure why I always ran when I got upset. But I knew where I felt the most at home, Ethan’s arms. I sat down on a nearby bench, feeling physically ill. I curled into a ball and cried silently, unable to contain the feelings overwhelming me. I didn’t even pay attention to everything around me until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and lurched up into the arms of Ethan.

“Don’t,” Ethan said.

He turned his face away from me and didn’t hold onto me, sending me falling to my feet. I yelped from the pain shooting down my hip. He ignored it.

“You’ll never run from me again, understood? This is my daughter too. Do you really hate me so much, you want to give her away?”

I shook my head. He couldn’t truly believe that? Could he? He jerked my hand, jostling me. He pulled me through the lobby and onto a nearby elevator. The doors finally opened on the top floor. He stood there as his dad exited then clasped my hand into his large, manly hand. I felt a jolt of current run through me and my already racing heartbeat accelerate. He guided me out of the elevator and down a long corridor.

He slid the magnetic card through the lock strip and opened the door. He stepped into the room and let go of my hand. He headed to a small wet bar set up on the opposite side of the room. I watched him pour a glass of bourbon and toss it back. He refilled the glass before ever looking at me. My stomach churned. I wanted to say something, anything. But I couldn’t.

His eyes were hard orbs of topaz. His face was stern and callous. “We need to talk,” he said and slammed his glass on the bar. “You’re mine damn it.”

I swiped away the tears streaming down my face. “I know who I belong to. I’m sorry I left but Victoria . . .”

“I don’t want to hear it,” he snapped cutting me off. “You were going to try to give my child away. She doesn’t just belong to you.”

I shook my head violently. I never thought of it that way.

“Do you love me?” he asked before taking another drink.

“Yes,” I whispered and bowed my head. “You’re the only person I’ve been capable of loving since my dad died.”

His eyes closed. I took the opportunity to move closer to him, hoping he would touch me.

“Bullshit, I bet you even tried to love the monsters your mom brought home.” Ethan’s eyes opened and focused on me. They had never been clearer or colder. “Why should I believe I’m not just someone you love hoping to have that love returned?”

I cringed and stepped back, all of the sudden aware he might not want to touch me. He didn’t need me after all. A line of women would gladly take my place. Ethan had the face, the body, the money, but most importantly, he had the heart to make any woman lucky. But I didn’t care if all of that vanished. I wasn’t there for the success or looks but because of how my heart healed when I was with him.

He followed my steps and hovered over me. He leaned forward to rub his thumb roughly across my lip then encompassed me in his arms.

Ethan

I was unsure how the next few days would go, but I relished in the sight of her exquisite face nestled against my chest. There was nothing about her body I didn’t love, even down to the small mole on her left ribcage. The thought I was harsh with her stung, but if she was a true submissive, she needed the power exchange to clear her mind to talk.

I traced over her lower back side and felt her squirm in my arms. That natural, innocent movement caused my dick to stir. I had always prided myself on my self-control but I should had known by then that nothing concerning Dylan was ordinary. Her startlingly blue eyes fluttered open, and streams of tears poured down her unbelievably stunning face.

“Just ask and I’ll tell you the truth,” I whispered and placed a small kiss on the tip of her nose.

She reached up and itched her fingers over my three day growth of stubble. I hated the lazy look of facial hair, but Dylan loved it, so I would learn to live with it. I rubbed over a tear drop sliding down her rosy cheek with the pad of my thumb. “Why are you crying? We haven’t even started talking yet.”

“Why are you mad?”

“Not mad, just, hell, I don’t know. Pissed.” I couldn’t find the right words for what I was feeling. My heart ached. Part of me wanted to admit Dylan and I would never work. I was a realist and not some idiot who believed in fairy tales. But Dylan was the one addiction I never wanted to break. She was the one person in life who made me truly happy. I reminded myself we had one more secret to overcome then we could move past the bullshit and be that couple she deserved.

“I want to see my tattoo?”

I sighed before I started unbuttoning the dress shirt I was wearing. My mind started racing at what she would feel as the memories of that day rushed back. I slid the shirt off my shoulders and down my arms. Tossing it across the room, I turned around revealing the intricate tattoo of orange primroses. Since her amnesia, I often wondered if the tattoo stood out to her. I etched it on my body, so she no longer had to see the awful tattoo that haunted her dreams. I gladly covered up the symbol of my family for her. I turned around and saw her shake her head in disbelief, and for a brief moment, I prayed she understood how much she meant to me.

“I’m sorry,” Dylan said. Her hands touched the side of my head as she gently stroked her hands through my hair.

“For what, babe?”

“Leaving you, not only this time but the first time too,” she murmured. I leaned down closer, so I could hear what she was saying and smiled when I caught the small sad smile playing on her lips. All of the sudden, her body twisted and her back was to me. She gripped my hand and led me to the nearby bed. “E, I don’t want to rehash everything. I’ve already read that book, and I’ve worked it out in my head. You’ve never hurt me, only tried to repay me for sending your brother to my doorstep. But I need to know why you want me?”

I laid my hand protectively on her stomach. Want her? I fucking needed her. “Because when I’m with you, I’m at peace with the world. I can’t explain it, but the first time I ever held you in my arms, I knew that there was something about you I couldn’t live without. I was right too. Because I’ve tried living without you, and I was in constant night.”

“Why though?”

“You’re a rare breed. I’ve never met anybody stronger than you. As full of love and willing to forgive as you. I envy you. But I’m also the luckiest bastard in the world because I get to love you.”

“Victoria said you made love to her while playing with the gun you brought to kill me. Please tell me she lied?”

“I can’t really. She actually bought me the gun, and we did have sex while I played with it.”

She scooted away from me as her whole body shook. That hadn’t been the statement she’d expected to hear. I reached for her to bring her closer back to me but she stiffened and withdrew more.

“I promised I would take care of you. I’ve never gone back on a promise so I wouldn’t let you hurt but I did plan on killing you. I was hoping the feelings I had for you were not real. That it was more my protective nature coming through. I needed you to be a bitch. I needed you to be like your mother. But you were everything I remembered and more.”

“How did you know what my mother was like?”

“I went to see her in prison. I forced myself to sit there and listen to the venom she spewed.”

“Why would you do that?”

How she was sitting there asking questions so calmly while the world as she knew it was once again being shredded only proved I was right, and she was fucking unbelievably perfect.

“They kept saying in court that she was at home during that damn rape. I had to see for myself how a woman could stand by and allow for that to happen to her own daughter.” I reached for Dylan and pulled at her pants leg.

“What did she say to you?”

“I’ll tell you everything but the garbage that came out of that bitch’s mouth. It was all lies anyway.”

She looked away from me and started twisting and untwisting the hem of her shirt around her fingers. “I already love Elizabeth more than I knew that I was capable of loving. But I’m terrified, I’ll become my mom. I can’t stand the thought of her ever feeling like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like a piece of trash.” She was hoarse. I heard the pain laced in every words she spoke.

Trash.
Hearing those words hurt more than it should. She was too good, and I was only going to keep hurting her. I didn’t care that she didn’t want to be touched; I needed her in my arms. I wrapped my body around her and laid us both back onto the bed. I relaxed when she didn’t even flinch. “Life would be so much easier if you were. I could have easily put you permanently to sleep almost two years ago. But you are everything that has ever been good in my life. When I took you out to view the stars that night every feeling I had for you not only reappeared but they grew. I could never hurt you, and if they hurt you they were going to have to kill me too. Babe, I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to have my mom say and do the things your mom has. But sweet love, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her.”

“Before my dad’s death, my mom was good too. What if something clicks and turns me?”

“You have already experienced enough to turn even the softest of hearts, and you are more wonderful than ever. Plus my family may be the opposite of what you wanted your child to be a part of, but they’ll love this little girl beyond reason and will never let anyone hurt her, including me and you.”

“They’d kill me first.”

“No one will hurt you again. Just trust me and let me take care of you from now on.” If life was simple, it would be so much easier. But life was anything but. We both had more baggage than any one person should bare. Dylan deserved someone who didn’t add to her already heavy burden. I shouldn’t load all that crap on her. But the happiest I ever felt was the moment when I discovered she loved me too. How could I walk away without fighting?

“I have one question?”

“Yes,” I said but was terrified it was the question I didn’t want to answer.

“Why did you screw your brother’s girl? I can’t get passed the idea Victoria is something more.”

“Because if I was going to kill you, I was going to have a scape goat. What better plan than a jealous wife finding out I was dating another woman.”

“Wife?’

I simply nodded.

“How long were you married?”

“I still am.”

“And I guess you forgot that little fact.”

She busted out laughing. I expected her to hit me, cry, take off running but never laugh. I was almost scared she was finally breaking. I let go of her body, waiting for her to make a break for the door. Leaving me would be the best thing for her. I didn’t deserve her anyway. I would always take care of her and Elizabeth but if she chose to leave me at that moment, I would let her go. I’ve already told one woman I would love her until death do us part. How could Dylan trust the fact things were different between us? God, the pain I was experience was more real than any physical pain.

“Dylan, Privy, talk to me.”

“My mom was right. The last words she said to me, other than I was dead to her, was that I would end up some whore and probably pregnant by some married man.”

The words of that woman had come to fruition. Dylan was lost and broken, but so was I. Maybe for different reasons but we were both empty inside except when we were holding on to each other.

“It’s not like that. I left her after the first weekend I ever spent with you. When I made the deal with my family to go to rehab, I told her the honest truth. That I never loved her. She just reminded me of the one girl that did steal my heart.”

“Who was that?”

“You. I wasn’t kidding when I said holding you after the attack changed me. I wanted to feel that way again. Victoria’s dad worked for my family. She knew what we were involved in.”

“Drugs and killing,” Dylan snapped.

“Mostly drugs but yes. I thought she looked like you, but she was never as pretty. At first she was sweet but soon after the ‘I do’s’ the claws came out. I married her to replace you. She married me for the power and the money.” Victoria was never my lifeline. My reason for breathing. My reason to fight. That has always only been Dylan.

“I guess both of you got something.” Her speech was harder than I’ve ever heard.

“I got nothing. I was a bastard and kept going to the club. She kept Jamie’s bed warm.”

“Why no divorce?”

“She fights it and since you, the only thing I cared about was fighting for you. Keeping you safe meant more than anything else, including divorce papers.” I dropped my head over her expanding girth. “You’re where I belong. I promise, babe, no more lies. No more shit. It kills me to know my precious little girl is growing inside of you, and I can’t make you an Asher yet.” I raised my head for a second to look her in the eyes. “Yet. I’ve made so many damn mistakes in my life. I don’t even know if I’m able to count them all. But I’m going to start making them right. I’m going to be the man you deserve. Because there is not a doubt this is where I’m meant to be. In my mind you’re Dylan Asher already. I love you.”

She sniffled and ran her nose along the back of my shirt collar. I pulled her tighter to me and buried my head against her stomach. “I meant that, Privy, every word.”

“I need to take a walk and think.”

She was running. “No, I’ll beg, grovel, whatever, but please don’t leave me. I promise to make this right.” I knew I couldn’t survive without . . . without her.

“I’ve gone in twenty four hours from knowing you were a bad guy with secrets to learning what those secrets are. Yes, my mom hurt me. But how do you think what you’ve done has affected me? You’re married.” She shoved me off her and back onto the mattress.

“In name only. I’ll do anything. Please, babe, stay.” I couldn’t let her walk out those doors until I knew she was okay.

“Anything?”

“Yes,” I screamed.

“Would you kill Victoria for me?”

“No . . .  I guess yes if that’s what it took. But you could never live with yourself or me if I did.”

“You wanted to kill me.”

“Never. I’ve never wanted to or have killed anyone but I would’ve done anything to keep you from living through hell again.”