Pretty Little Lies (Lie #2) (11 page)

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Dylan

I stayed up half the night fighting with Sarah. I was pissed at her for hiding the fact Ethan had tried to find me. I questioned her on how she could watch me cry over him every day and not once bring me even a small flower he had sent. I forgave her easily enough because deep down, I knew she had her misguided but true heart in each of her choices. She was right about one thing, however . . . my little baby bump was getting bigger and harder; and the way we were headed, Ethan was soon to discover my little secret. I could hide it under baggy clothes, but not wandering hands. I didn’t want him to learn about the baby that way. I was not sure I wanted him to learn about him at all. Sarah had the reveal party as she called it, scheduled for Sunday, and I had an appointment with the adoption attorney Monday. But that day, I had my fun day with Ethan planned, and I would let nothing get between us for at least one last day.

I stood outside on the front stoop, waiting impatiently. Ethan was very reliable, but that morning he was already two hours late. When he finally pulled up, I walked toward him and froze. He had on the same jeans and shirt from the night before and looked like shit. His hair was disheveled. His clothes were wrinkled. Under his eyes were dark circles. So much for a happy day. I was positive my facial expression was stuck between
what the hell
and
pissed.
I was learning to never be shocked when it came to Ethan. I reached the truck, confused as fuck.

Ethan flicked his cigarette across the parking lot then held the passenger door open for me and gawked at the cane I was carrying. “Good morning, Privy.” He frowned down at the cane. “I didn’t think you needed that anymore.”

I took three more steps and stood in front of him. “I don’t most days, but if I spend a lot of time on my feet I still do.”

“I could always carry you.” He started to lean in to kiss my cheek. I shoved him back, smelling the whiskey on his breath.

“What happened to you?”

“I got drunk and passed out at my brother’s place. It was a hard night, babe. I needed to release some tension.” Ethan waited until I climbed in, then he walked around and jumped into the truck. I leaned backwards and tilted my head onto the headrest. “I’m sorry, Privy. I went to take care of some business and got fucked up. I woke up from being passed out and rushed over here.”

“Charlie let you get that drunk?” I asked.

“No,” he said and shook his head. “He wasn’t there. I guess he was at his old lady’s house.” He flipped his head in my direction and smiled. “Please, I promised you some fun.” He grabbed my hand and pulled it to his mouth, giving the back of it a kiss.

I shook my head, trying to wrap all the confusion around in my already feeble mind. “I don’t deserve this. I’m scared and I need actions.” I looked at him dead on that time. “Not your flowery words.”

“You deserve more than that. I’m sorry, babe. I’m taking care of everything so I can give you those actions.” He started the engine and turned his gaze back to the road. “Buckle up, my sweet love. We’re going to buy you some fleas.”

“Are you okay to drive?”

“Yeah, babe, I haven’t had a drink in about four hours, and I had five cups of coffee before I left this morning. I would never put you in danger.”

I stared at him and wondered how he always knew what words I needed to hear. How he could take me from wanting to choke him to wanting to kiss him? He glanced back at me and clasped my thigh. “You can move closer. I did take a quick shower.”

I slipped across the seat until I was almost in his lap. “You have a lot of kissing up to do today.”

He slid his fingers through mine and squeezed down on my hand. I felt that simple gesture all the way down in my groin.

We rode in silence the short ride to the civic center. He rolled his eyes several times. No doubt trying to relieve a massive headache. I had to give him credit; even hung over, he was trying to be happy-go-lucky with me.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

I gave him my you-have-to-be-kidding-me glare. He was purchasing an oil painting on velvet of Elvis. “You’ve made me walk around this dump for two hours. I’m going to buy you this, make you tell me how much you love it, and then tonight I’m hanging it above your bed.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. It’s the most beauteous thing I’ve ever owned. I’ll put it in a place of pride, like the back of my closet,” I said and kissed the rough stubble on his jaw.

“No, we’re hanging this baby, and every night when you go to sleep you can look at it and think of me.”

“How about just give me a picture of you.”

“I might do that too,” Ethan said, nodding his head.

We had browsed a few more aisles when we ran into a person I could tell that Ethan didn’t want to see, his brother Charlie and a beautiful, middle-aged lady. Charlie and the lady did a double-take, eyeing us from head to toe. I wasn’t sure if it was the cane I was leaning on or the way Ethan gently guided my back that grabbed their attention.

“Hey, bro,” Ethan said, holding out his hand to shake Charlie’s. “I stayed over at your house last night. I guess you were with Cherry.” Ethan almost had a warning tone to his voice.

Cherry gave Ethan a quick hug and whispered something in his ear. Charlie followed her lead and gave me a bear hug, but eyed Ethan the entire time.

“Hey, beautiful, this is my old lady, Cherry,” Charlie said and wrapped his arm around the woman at his side. “I guess I was spending the night at her place last night.”

Ethan laughed and finally put his arms back around me. “I hope you had a good time.” Ethan smirked. He appeared to be extremely uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure if it was the enormous painting of Elvis he was holding or the fact that Charlie was the last person he expected to run into that day.

“Looks like I had a better time than you.”

“Yeah, I found the liquor cabinet beside your desk.”

Charlie’s eyes lit up as if he finally understood what was going on. “You have your old lady now. You need to stay away from that junk,” Charlie said, smiling at Ethan.

An older man behind the booth started to bargain with Cherry, which grabbed Charlie’s attention. I flipped around to talk to Ethan when I saw him giving Charlie and Cherry a hard look. He was studying them like he was trying to figure out some math problem in his head. It unnerved me. I cupped my hand around his jaw, feeling his unshaved face under my hand. I wanted to take that look off his face. It was uncanny how when he should be easing my nerves, I was babying his.

“What is it?” I asked, and forced him to look down at me.

“Nothing Privy, I was just thinking about what Charlie finally has with Cherry,” he replied and kissed me on the forehead.

“Am I really your old lady?” I asked and wrapped my arms around his waist while trying to suck mine in.

He smiled. “Yeah, babe, you are. My sweet love, thank you,” he said, brushing my cheek with his hand.

I nodded, relieved that Ethan wasn’t about to have one of his more intense moments. I wasn’t so sure I could handle one that day. Charlie nudged my shoulder after Cherry purchased another bag. I wasn’t sure what was in it, but she and Charlie were loaded down with goodies. Charlie motioned his head behind him, indicating he wanted privacy. “Can I ask you something? It will only take a moment.”

Ethan slipped his arm out of mine and followed him to a safe speaking distance. Cherry tried her hand at small talk. But she only managed to drive me bonkers. She seemed to know Ethan on a level that annoyed me. I was his old lady, but I couldn’t even tell you his middle name. I didn’t know the secret that everyone seemed privy too. I didn’t even remember why he called me Privy.

Ethan and Charlie appeared out of nowhere. They both were more relaxed and seemed to have come to some understanding.

“Ready, Privy?” Ethan asked.

A tingle ran down my spine. I wasn’t sure I was ready to go anywhere with him. I didn’t even truly know him. All I knew was that he was a drunk that knew how to sweet talk. A man who liked to fuck random girls but who wouldn’t even kiss me. A lawyer who lived on the wild side. The father of the baby bouncing in my belly. The man my heart screamed it loved. At times, I could picture us having a future. I could see us maybe being a family. Then at moments like that, I was aware that I didn’t even know him. But the one time I did learn who he was, I left him. I gripped his hand. I had to play it out to see where it led.

Ethan

“My sweet love, wake up.”

She lifted her head from my shoulder and wiped the drool off the side of her face.

I looked down at the wet spot of my shirt and rolled my eyes. “My second favorite wet spot.”

“What’s your favorite?” She laughed. I tickled my finger up her thigh closer to her sweet and succulent lady part.

”That one.”

We had finally gotten back home after spending six hours at the market and dining at The Pier. We didn’t buy another thing besides that awful Elvis painting. I was going to hold her to it and make her let me hang it. I just prayed she would let me hold her and stay awhile. Praying was a new one on me, but I found myself praying a lot where Dylan was concerned.

“Come on, my sweet love, we have a picture to hang,” I said as we climbed out of the truck. I leaned in and grabbed the painting out of the extended cab. “And some cuddling to do,” I added

She stood there pulling at the ginormous t-shirt she was wearing. She hung her head down. I would have given my right arm to take that look of dread off her face. I clasped her wrist and pulled her to me until our faces were just a few inches apart. I wrapped my too-big of hands around her delicate face and smashed her cheeks together. I then gave her a loud smack on her squished together lips. “What is it, Privy?”

“I can’t have sex with you. I want to. I just can’t. Not yet,” she said and looked down at the t-shirt she was yanking on.

“Babe, I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to because there is nothing I want more. Well, that’s not true either. I just want you however I can have you.”

“My heart tells me what we had, but my mind is still scared of all of this. I know I love you. I just can’t remember falling in love with you. It’s all just mind blowing.”

I pointed to the truck. “Get in, we’re taking a small trip.”

We drove until we were on the outskirts of town before she asked me where we were going. I just winked at her. She trusted me. Which was a huge step for her and a step I didn’t deserve. I was taking her to the very field I carried her to the first night we were together. The field I was supposed to take her life in. I white-knuckled the steering wheel. That thought terrorized me. Her life was s
o
entwined in mine now, I couldn’t imagine the world without her in it. I hid that gun, but knew I would never use it. Taking her life would be paramount to taking my own.

“What are you thinking?” she asked.

“How horrible my life would be without you in it.” I smiled and tapped her shoulder with my own. But it was a fake smile. I was horrified what memory that field would bring. I had to take that first step. If we were to build a future, we had to overcome the past.

When we pulled into the open field, she looked around as if she recognized it. I had a slight moment of panic until she smiled.

“This is our field. You brought me to where we fell in love.” Her smile got bigger and more magnificent than I could ever remember seeing. “I loved it here. I remember watching stars with you.” She twisted around and lightly kissed my lips. “I’ve wanted you to bring me here.”

She climbed out of the truck before I even got my door open and met me at the tailgate. “You wouldn’t kiss me here either.” Her face glowed at that earlier memory.

I pulled on her hand and led her down a small path onto a wide-open sea of wheat and wild flowers. I also said one of those small prayers again that she would not remember anything else that night. She stilled and gazed out over the massive span of fields before her. I tugged on her and lowered her to set beside me on the grass. She adjusted her clothes and slipped off her shoes.

“I didn’t bring you here to watch the stars. It’s actually too cloudy for that tonight anyway. I wanted to show you where I fell head over heels in love with you.”

I had to let her into my life, discover so many of my secrets if I wanted to build a future with her. I had to convince her I would never hurt her. So if she did remember everything, I still had a chance to hold onto her.

She tilted her head toward me. I turned to watch her mouth as she spoke. “What’s your middle name?”

“Phillip,” I answered, and felt the corner of my mouth turn up. Dylan didn’t ease into the hard stuff. If something was bothering her, she blurted it out. So the fact she wanted to know my name confirmed that this was going to be one of the great times. 

“Tell me about your family. I don’t intend to be mean but Charlie looks more like your dad than your brother.”

I laughed more to break the tension between us than because I thought the situation was actually funny. “He is. He was my age when I was born. Charlie is fifty-six, Kristina, my wonderful sister, is fifty-two, Lydia, my dad’s baby girl, is forty-six. Brandon is thirty.”

“Wow, how old are your parents?”

“Good old dad is seventy-six. My sweet, wonderful mom is forty-six.”

“That’s pretty screwed up,” she said quietly.

I pondered her statement, but mostly I wondered if she finally realized how truly screwed up I really was. “It’s fucked up. I didn’t just become fucked up. I was born that way. Mr. Fucked-up at your service.”

“My Mr. Fucked-up.” She smiled and laid back down over me. “Have I met them all? Your family, that is,” she asked honestly. Her perfect little brows were wrinkled together. She clearly had something on her mind.

“All of them who matters.”

“No wonder you don’t want kids.”

“I only want you, babe.” I sighed heavily, then took her hand completely in mine.

“No more club?”

“No, babe, I said bye to everything last night. My life is about you and you alone.”