Pretend With Me (Midnight Society #1) (32 page)

Without being asked I crawled into the bed, wrapping
myself tightly between the thick, heavy blankets, trying to
get warm. I was freezing, more than before if that was
possible. Any second now, I felt as though I was going to
become a human Popsicle. Even Dean’s coat, which had
to have some kind of ability to generate heat, did nothing
to get me warm now. I was trembling and shaking
uncontrollably. I could hear my teeth chattering loudly.

Seconds later Eric crawled into the bed, wrapping his
arms around me as he drew my body closer to his. I
welcomed him and as his body heat began to seep into my
skin, I pressed myself as close to him as I could.

“What do we do?” I chattered, burying my face into his
chest.
“Nothing,” he whispered back, his voice so calm and
smooth that it blended in with the darkness instead of
disrupting it. “You just have to ride it out…”
“Have… anyone ever… died from… this..?” I
muttered, my teeth knocking each other ungracefully.
“No…” he murmured.
“I’m so cold…”
“I know… Try to calm down. It’ll help,” he ordered,
his grip on me tightening. “Listen to my breathing… just
relax. I promise everything is going to be okay. I'm here
and I won't let anything happen to you, I promise,” he
breathed out, his tone radiating nothing but absolute
calmness.
I closed my eyes tightly, listening to his heart as it
gently pushed blood through his body; to his breaths come
and go, feeling his chest steadily rise and fall, and slowly I
found myself calming down. My trembling body seemed to
relax a bit and I found that I wasn’t shaking as much as
before. I could breathe better now.
Gradually my breaths began to match Eric’s, but along
with the calmness came something else, something I really
didn’t mind. It was a sort of fog that wrapped around my
senses, dulling the world. It made focusing on something
other than the raging winter inside my bones easier. It also
made me feel exhaustion washing over me. I was so tired;
my body had just had enough of this.
“What's your favorite color?” I asked, hoping to
distract myself from everything as the exhaustion slowly
pulled me under.
“I don't have one, but if I had to choose, I'd pick
black.”
“Why?”
“It goes with anything...” he chuckled.
“Hmm…” I heard myself moan as I realized that Eric
and I hardly knew anything about each other. We were
supposed to get married soon, and I didn’t know what his
favorite foods were or any of that trivial, superficial stuff
that I was sure we were going to fight about after marriage.
“What’s yours?”
“Don’t have one,” I shook my head. “I hate yellow.
Favorite food?”
“Anything my mom cooks,” he chuckled, but it
sounded far away or as if I was underwater. “She doesn’t
do that often though, just on birthdays.”
“I love pizza. If I could, I’d eat it every day. Daren used
to get pissed at me…” I trailed off, feeling the hurt all over
again.
“Jen, can I ask you something..?” Eric hesitated.
“Sure,” my answer was instant.
“I want you to answer honestly… no matter if you
think it'll hurt my feelings… If Daren were alive and you
were given the chance to choose… who would you stay
with - me or him?”
I didn't answer right away. I had thought about this
question a lot recently and I could never come up with an
answer. Even after I’d spent hours upon hours, I could
never come up with a solid choice. The only conclusion I
always came to was that I needed them both in my life.
Considering what I’d learned about Daren tonight, and
not knowing whether his feelings for me was real or made
up just so he could get close to me should change my
answer to Eric’s question... Certainly now, Eric was the
better choice. His love was certain and I loved him just as
much as. But although Daren betrayed me, hid things from
me, and our entire relationship had been a lie, I couldn’t
deny that I still loved him. I wondered how that was
possible, that you could still love someone who had
unraveled and destroyed everything you were.
Instead of answering his question, I asked my own.
“Do you think it was real, or was it just a way to be close
to me? I mean...” I mused swallowing, “Daren was my
protector and I didn’t know about this world at that time...
he’d have needed a reason to get close to me... a reason
why he was always so protective...”
For a long while Eric didn’t say anything and just as I
started to think that his silence was confirmation he let out
a breath and said, “I honestly don’t know, Jen... and right
now there’s no way of knowing... I do know that whatever
his feelings for you were, Daren died so you could live,
and that in itself is something...”
“If he were alive...” I breathed out, “I wouldn’t be able
to choose between you two. It's literally impossible to
choose. It's like…” I took a breath and then swallowed the
lump rising in my throat. I couldn't explain it right - I
didn't know how. “You know on those movies where
people are climbing mountains… but something goes
wrong and one of the climbers has to let go, because the
weight is too much… If it were us... and only two could
live… I would let go… It's like that, Eric - I can't choose
between you and him, I just can't…”
He was silent for a short moment and then he said, “If
I had to choose for you, I would choose Daren.” From his
voice, I could tell that he was sure, this was an absolute for
him and I didn’t understand why. Eric should hate Daren.
He was the person I had given everything to. Daren was
the one I loved and if it wasn’t for him, there might not be
anything holding me back from wanting to marry Eric
completely.
“Why..? If Daren was alive… wouldn't you fight for
me?” I whispered, feeling the fog in my head slowly
pulling me away from the moment. Exhaustion was taking
over now – it was too much and I didn’t think I could
fight it anymore.
“I would fight like Hell for you. I will always fight for
you, Jenifer - never think that I won't… but every day I see
you struggling to hold yourself together… I saw how you
looked at Dina tonight; it was like she was your own
Heaven and Hell wrapped into one... I'd choose Daren for
you because my unhappiness would be worth it… if you
were happy.”
“How can you say that?” I asked glad he couldn't see
my face. I was horrified that he would even think like that,
but I understood it. It was the same way I felt about him;
like wanting to marry him, not because I wanted to, but
because it would make him happy.
“If it comes down to being selfish or selfless, I will be
selfless, Jen...” he trailed off almost as if reading my mind.
Maybe he was. “Always remember that I will do anything
for you. I'll always be there for you… no matter what.” I
didn't like him talking like this - it made me feel as if he
was saying goodbye to me. I needed him too. I needed and
wanted him in my life more than I could ever admit.
“I was afraid of you… when I saw you fighting, I was
afraid of you,” I admitted. “You didn't seem… you weren't
yourself, you were cold, and you scared me the most… I
didn't want to see you like that…” I said changing the
subject, picking the first thing I could think about.
I had been standing in front of monsters, all terrifying,
and tearing each other to pieces. Half of those monsters
were fighting to kill me, yet they didn't scare me half as
much as Eric did. I had expected the dark, nonhuman
bloodlust from Zane and maybe even Dean, but never
from Eric. From the very beginning, he had been my
stability, my strength and my safe place, and seeing all that
disappear was horrifying.
He let out a breath and tightened his hand aro und
mine. “I'm sorry you had to see me like that, Jen, and I'm
sorry I scared you… but if Zane tries to hurt you again,
you will see that part of me once more. He won't escape.”
I forced myself to swallow. Eric's voice had gone hard
and cold and sure. “I know,” I whispered. A short silent
moment passed over us and then I heard myself say.
“Eric…” I murmured feeling sleep pulling me further
away from him. “Are you reading me now?”
“No…”
“You should be…” I said, my voice dragging. There
were so many things I wanted him to know; things I could
never admit out loud, but he needed to know. It was time
he knew, but I couldn’t tell him – I couldn’t say the words.
I felt hot tears stinging my cheeks as though they were
liquid fire rolling down the side of my face, tickling my
skin. I didn’t make a move to wipe it away. I was too afraid
that if I moved, I would chicken out and not tell him.
“I…” I swallowed and then took another deep breath.
My heart was racing in my chest and banging against my
ribcage loudly. Any moment now, it would rip open my
chest. I could feel tight, tense knots buried in my stomach
that only got tighter as time passed.
“I called him,” I whispered. “I called him and that's
why he was there…” I took another deep breath and as I
launched into the story the memories began flashing
through my head. I knew he was reading me now. He
could probably see it as clearly as I saw myself sitting on
the sofa, joking and laughing with Danny, Shane, and
Collin. I could almost feel the warm air as it passed over
my skin. The taste of excitement was strong and leaking
off everyone, as if it weren't a feeling but something that
you could reach out and touch. There was a strong scent
of alcohol and cigarette smoke that stained the air. It was
like a wall I could literally walk into.
I remembered as I had excused myself and shoved my
way through the crowd and then up the stairs. Shane's
parties were always huge and packed with people. It was
hard to believe that he’d known all of them, but then again
he was a popular DJ. Usually there’d be a line outside the
downstairs bathroom, so I had gone through the corridor
and into Shane's bedroom to use his.
When I’d finished, I had washed my hands and then
pulled out my phone, and had dialed Daren's number.
He'd answered on the second ring, even though I knew
he’d been sleeping. “Jenifer Carson, you better be on fire if
you're calling me at 2AM,” he'd muttered sleepily.
“Well…” I mused, “I am hot.”
“I hear music. Where are you? “
“Shane's party; come and get me?”
“I'm already on my way.” I listened closely and then
seconds later heard the sound of his car starting. “Who's
with you?”
“Shane, Collin and Danny…” I trailed off biting my
lower lip.
“I'll see you soon,” he said and I hung up the phone,
walking outside into the corridor.
As soon as I was out rough hands grabbed me from
behind, pulling me towards one of the bedrooms.
Immediately I opened my mouth to let rip a loud, shrilling
scream from my throat but before I could make a sound,
the person holding me clamped a hand over my mouth,
stifling the scream. Instincts kicked in almost instantly and
before I knew what I was doing, I shoved my elbow into
the person's stomach, making the person drop me. I
landed with a heavy thud on the floor and before he could
get me again, I shot up, on my feet running towards the
end of the corridor.
I was just inches away from the stairs, mere seconds
from being free when something solid swiped my feet off
the floor and then I was falling face first to the carpeted
ground. I landed with a hard smack on the carpet that
seemed to knock the breath out of my body. Groaning I
turned, looking down at my feet to find a young blonde
boy around my age grabbing onto my ankles.
I pried one of my feet free and with adrenaline rushing
through me and my survival instinct on high, I reacted
without having any control. Before I could think I found
myself launching my free foot at the boy, with all the
intention of smashing his pretty face in. My shoe made
direct contact with his face, yet he didn't release my other
ankle and I pulled my free foot back, slamming it into his
face again and again, until he released me from his iron
grip.
As soon as I was free, I scrambled off the floor. I was
barely up when his hands wrapped around me again, this
time with more strength. He gripped me so hard and tight
that I couldn't move. Before I could even think about
fighting him, he raised me off my feet and dragged me into
a bedroom, then dropped me on the floor. I landed on my
hands and knees at his feet, and instantly I heard the door
click shut behind me. Seconds later the lock turned, loudly
echoing through the room.
My heart was pounding in my chest as possible
scenarios of what this night could end up like played out in
my head. I could feel it pumping the blood and adrenaline
through my body. My pulse was beating at my veins
harshly and my breathing had all but stopped.
A pair of black boots stepped up in front of my face
and my eyes began travelling up slowly. The boots led to
dark jeans, tainted with specks of white dust, to a plain
black t-shirt, also spotted with dust, and then suddenly I
found myself looking up at a tall, strapped man the size of
Hulk. He was huge - literally giant-like. His broad
shoulders and chest took up my entire view. His skin was a
light creamy color and dark, straight hair fell to his
shoulders.
Before I could do anything he bent down, grabbed my
shoulder roughly and pulled me up effortlessly. As soon as
I was on my feet, he released me. “You're Jenifer, right?”
he said in a deep rough voice that made me take a step
away from him.
My back bounced against the other guy who had
brought me into the room. Immediately I turned facing
them both yet still backing away. “What do you want?” I
said keeping my eyes on them.
“Just answers,” he smiled and my back pressed against
a wall. I forced myself to swallow, looking around the
room for the first time. My breath hitched when I realized
that it wasn't just the three of us in the room. There were
five other persons, two girls and three guys.
My eyes flashed back to the guy that seemed to be in
control. “Answers?” I said uncertainly. “To what
questions?” My heart was racing, and at any moment I felt
as if it would rip my chest open and fly away. My nails
were biting into the skin of my palms and in response I
forced my hands open at my sides.
“You race with Red; you're one of the few persons that
knows who Red is. Tell me, and I'll let you go,” he said
casually. I didn't say anything; instead I kept my mouth
shut and eyes on him.
When it was clear that I wasn't going to answer, he
began walking up to me. Once again his frame blocked my
view from anything other than him and the closer he got,
the more intimidating and scary he became. With each step
he took, closing the distance between us, my throat
tightened.
He stopped when he was standing directly in front of
me and then slowly he raised his hands, placing them at
the sides of my face. “I will not ask again this nicely,
Jenifer,” he whispered, leaning in closer to me, his breath
passing over my skin with each word that came out of his
mouth. “Tell me where Red is.”