Portraits (37 page)

Without looking at her he answered, “Go to whomever you want.”

“What about Maureen? Have you talked to her yet?”

“If I had, wouldn’t she have told you? Don’t play games with me.”

“How do you think she’s going to take it, after having such a devoted mommy and daddy?”

“Don’t you worry about her. She had the kind of stability I wanted for her.”

“I know, Jim. It took a great deal of sacrifice on your part.”

“Get ready to go to Reno.”

Well, Mr. James Ross, Jr. was in one considerable hurry. But he was going to pay for the years he’d made her suffer. “I’m not going to Reno.”

The muscles in his jaw knotted like twisted rope. “You don’t have much choice.”

“I think you’re wrong. If I were to tell Maureen what caused the breach between us, she’d be quite shocked, I imagine. I wonder how her
stability
would hold up then.” She’d never do that to her daughter, but it was like honey from the comb to see the look on his face.

“You perverted bitch. You’d destroy her, wouldn’t you. You’re just that ruthless.”

“Well, it would surely turn her against me, and wouldn’t that give you a lot of satisfaction?”

“I didn’t know quite how rotten you really are.”

She laughed to herself. All he had to do was call her bluff and she would have taken the night train to Reno. “Well, at least now you know all about me. A year’s not too bad, James. It passes faster than you can imagine. Seems like yesterday you moved down the hall.”

He slammed the door and went to pack his things…

Jim held Rachel’s hand as he told her they’d have to wait a year, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her the reasons. He felt miserable that his hands were tied, but he couldn’t allow Maureen to find out what Kelly really was.

Rachel was more disappointed than she wanted to show. She could hardly wait to leave home and she honestly wanted Jim Ross and a life with him. But she knew he wasn’t having an easy time either. “I know how difficult this will be, but if there’s nothing you can do we’ll simply have to make the best of it.”

He held her close. “Oh, Rachel, I swear to you I had no idea this would happen—”

“Darling, we’ll manage it. A year isn’t that long.”

It was for him…forty-two and he wanted a child, Rachel’s child…A new beginning had been handed him and he couldn’t take it; that bitch had the ace. “Rachel darling, I’m going down to Santa Barbara to see Maureen, but of course I’ll call—”

“No, please. I still don’t want them to know about us.”

“Why?”

“Because my family are very complicated people and I know there’s going to be a real battle eventually. Please, Jim…let’s wait a bit longer.”

She missed Jim more than she had imagined possible. She tried not thinking about him, but that was impossible. If only she could have gone with him. And Jim’s thoughts ran parallel with hers. Leaving her had been difficult, but the chore that lay in front of him would be even more so…

When he saw Maureen running toward him, her lovely chestnut hair blowing in the breeze, he thought there had to be a better way than this. But now she was here, hugging him. He looked at her face—those large amber eyes, trusting…like Rachel’s, innocent yet wise. He loved them both so very much…

“Gosh, dad, I’m so glad to see you.”

He swallowed, smiled. “Me too, sweetheart.”

“I got so excited when they told me you were here…”

“Where would you like to go?”

“You devil, you’ve fixed it so I could get the day off. How about the beach?”

“I’d like that.”

“Knew you would. There’s a peachy little bistro where they have the best seafood. Sound good?”

“Sounds wonderful.”

“Lay on, Macduff.”

As they drove along the waterfront Maureen said, “Dad, how would you like to take a very close relative to Argentina on your business trip?”

Jim felt the perspiration on his forehead. “I’d love to, Maureen, but I don’t think you should take time away from school.”

“It’s okay, dad. I’m way ahead—”

“Let’s talk about this at lunch.”

“Wait…slow down, dad. It’s that place over there with the green and white awning.”

Jim had a reprieve until they’d finished their meal. When the coffee came Maureen asked, “Now, how about…”

Jim’s face became somber.

“What’s the matter, dad? Fess up…you can tell this one anything.”

“Some things aren’t that easy.”

“Give it a whirl.”

“…This is something I’d hoped I’d never have to tell you, darling, but I suppose there’s no easy way. Your mother and I have agreed to a divorce.”

Maureen sighed. “Well, I guess it was overdue.”

He looked at her, astonished. “You knew?”

“For a long time. I just kept hoping you and mom would make it up somehow. You’re both so great. Why can’t two wonderful people fit?”

“I don’t know, Maureen, but it seems best this way.”

“How’s mom taking it?”

“As sensibly as you would expect…”

“I’m really sorry, dad.”

“So am I, darling.”

“Dad, I think I should go with you on your trip to Argentina.” She thought her mother would weather the storm of divorce better than he would and that he might need some company on this trip. She waited. When there was no answer she said, “Dad, you’re a million miles away.”

“Not really, Maureen…I just don’t know how to say this right.”

“What, dad? You can tell me anything…”

He looked at her. “All right. Honey…I’ve met a lovely woman…I’m going to marry her.”

Maureen sat like a statue. That was the reason for the divorce, after all these years? Finding her voice she asked, “What’s she like?”

“She’s beautiful.”

“I mean
who
is she?”

“Her name is Rachel—Rachel Sanders.”

“How did you meet her, how long have you known her?”

“For several months,” he lied, “and I met her quite by accident—”

“By accident? Where?”

“She was waiting for a streetcar in the rain and I happened to be coming around the corner—”

“You met her on the street? How romantic.”

“I can’t really explain it, honey, I know it sounds pretty strange, but these things do happen, you know…”

“How
old
is she?”

He ran his tongue around his dry lips. “Nineteen.”

“Nineteen! That’s practically child-molesting…” She felt sick to her stomach. “Dad, I really think you should see a psychiatrist.”

He winced and looked out to the blue ocean washing up against the sand. Rachel was not just nineteen. She was a woman, a lovely woman that he adored…“Maureen, I know this is very difficult to understand, but ages aren’t always that important between—”

“People in love?”

“Yes—”

“And you think she loves you?”

“Yes. Do you think that would be so difficult?”

“No, I can see where you would be very attractive to a…but she’s a child, dad.”

“Only chronologically.”

“I’m going to be as frank as you’ve been. You’re an older man trying to prove you’ve still got what it takes, and I think she’s taking you for everything you’ve got.”

“That’s unfair, Maureen, and, frankly, something I didn’t believe you’d ever say to me.”

“I’m sorry, but, dad, use your head. Why would a girl marry a man old enough to be her father?”

He looked at his daughter. Shaking his head, he thought how wrong he’d been. Maureen took the news of the divorce without flinching, but the fact that he could be in love with someone and she with him was being needlessly distorted. Was she jealous because Kelly was being replaced by someone almost the same age as Maureen? If he’d fallen in love with an older woman would she more easily have accepted that? Or was it that she wanted
nobody
to have her place in his life…?

Maureen was transformed. He’d be taking this…this childish nobody to Argentina with him instead of her. She’d always adored him so…To her mind he was the ideal man, the kind of man
she
would wait for. Now
this…

“Wait till you meet her, Maureen.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, dad, but I’ll never do that…never.”

“And you say you don’t want to hurt me?”

“I’m sorry. Sorry—” And she ran out of the restaurant to the car.

She was sobbing when he got into the car. He took her to him, put her head on his shoulder. “I wish it could be different…”

“Oh, daddy, so do I. I’ve always loved you so, I still do…but I think you’re making a terrible mistake leaving mom for her—”

“That’s not the reason you’re angry, sweetheart, and you know it.”

“I know, but why
her?
Why?”

“Meet her, darling, and you’ll see. Will you?”

“I’ll have to think about it.”

“Thank you, darling, for that…” And he meant it.

J
IM MET RACHEL EVERY
night after work. At first Sara raised a ruckus about her comings and goings, but Rachel didn’t really care. She simply said she was going to night classes and would be home when she got there.

The girls Rachel worked with noticed her being picked up each night in a fine automobile, and, of course, there were all sorts of speculations around the office that she was being kept, that she was having an affair with an older man…Rachel knew what was being said behind her back and it bothered her no more than Sara’s silent treatment. A new stratagem for something new and wonderful in her young life…

Rachel was very quiet when she and Jim walked into Sheves Jewelers on the corner of Post and Grant. She had often lingered at the windows of that prestigious establishment, looking at the jewels and gems. But now she was inside, being shown tray after tray of the finest gems.

When the salesman showed her the five-carat solitaire, she marveled at the facets shimmering in the overhead lighting. Was she the same Rachel who had worked for the five-and-dime, who had been an usherette at the Tivoli Theater, Rachel who never had a decent dress until she earned enough to buy one herself? This couldn’t be the girl who just a short time ago had stood on a street corner on a rainy evening, thinking that nothing of any consequence would ever happen in her life. It seemed unreal, unbelievable, as Jim slipped the ring on her finger. She trembled inside…it was only a dream…

“Darling, do you like it?”

She looked up at him. It was no dream. Did she like it? It was difficult to keep her breathing even…“Oh, I
love
it.”

“Then, my love, this means we’re officially engaged.”

They laughed and Jim took her in his arms and kissed her as the salesman smiled. “Congratulations, Mr. Ross. And you, Miss Sanders.”

They walked up Post Street and went into Gump’s. Rachel followed like a sleepwalker. Again the feeling of unreality overwhelmed her. The beauty of the magnificent antiques, the china and silver, the Baccarat crystal—it was simply incredible.

Finally Jim led her to the credit department. “What are we doing here?”

“I want to open up an account, so you can charge.”

Rachel barely nodded. Incredible.

They had been engaged for two months when Jim received a letter from Maureen saying that since he appeared to be serious about getting married the least she could do was to meet the lucky lady. He immediately called her and told her how pleased he was and how much he wanted her and Rachel to be friends…

The meeting got off to an awkward beginning. Maureen directed most of her conversation to her father. “What have you decided, dad, about taking your only daughter to Argentina? We never got that settled in Santa Barbara.”

Rachel looked stunned. “Are you going to Argentina, Jim?”

He took her hand. “I’ll have to, darling, but just for a few weeks. Business…”

Maureen was delighted to see that Rachel was upset and in the dark about the trip. She glanced at the sparkling ring on Rachel’s slender finger. Rachel might be marrying daddy, but not for love. She’d bet her last biscuit on
that
…“Rachel, didn’t daddy tell you? I’m shocked at you, daddy. That’s no way to start a new life with a new wife. Secrets can be very destructive to a healthy relationship, you know…”

Jim knew, and he was also seeing Maureen in a new light. She was the quintessence of charm, but she also, he was sorry to see, had more than a little of Kelly’s nature. Now he very much wished he’d never pressed the issue, it would have been better to have had them meet after the wedding. But he had no idea Maureen would behave like this…“I haven’t kept any secret from Rachel…The fact is, I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to go.”

“But apparently you do.”

“Yes.”

“Well, then, how about me hitching a ride?”

“Not this trip, Maureen.”

“How about you, Rachel? Are you going to let our handsome brute go all alone? You know what they say happens when the cat’s away.” And she proceeded to smile like one.

“Well, Maureen,” Rachel said, “I’m afraid I’m not too up on cats. I think I know Jim, though, and that’s assurance enough for me.” Jim’s attachment to his daughter was going to change, if she had any influence. And she did.

Smug bitch, Maureen thought, and said, “How marvelous to be so sure. I think I’d worry just a
little
.”

Jim had had enough, called the waiter and paid the check.

After they had driven Maureen home they sat in silence. It was Rachel who interrupted their thoughts.

“It went pretty badly, didn’t it? Maureen, to put it mildly, didn’t take this too well.”

Jim half smiled. “It wasn’t exactly what I’d hoped for, but I still believe in time she’ll come around. She’s hurt. I suppose that’s natural—”

“Maybe…Why didn’t you say you were planning to go away?”

“Because, darling, I honestly hoped I could get out of it.”

“Why Argentina?”

“We’re building a steel plant there and it seems I have to do the negotiating personally.”

“How long will you be away?”

“Ten days to two weeks at the most. Oh God, Rachel, I know how difficult this is.”

“When are you leaving?”

“Thursday…”

She bit her lip. Suddenly she felt as if the lifeline had been cut. Especially when she thought of her nights at home with her mother…“I already miss you.”