Point of No Return (8 page)

“What is it?” I asked. “What’s wrong?” It hadn’t occurred to me that something might actually be wrong with me. But from the look on the doctor’s face, I knew she had something to tell me.

“I’m not sure if this is welcome news or not,” she said carefully, “but the tests show conclusively that you’re pregnant.”

I stared at her, shock rippling through me. My mouth was hanging open and I snapped it shut.

“But-but that’s impossible,” I stammered. “I’m on birth control.”

“No birth control method is one hundred percent effective,” she said, her voice sounding much calmer than mine. “I’d also say you’re suffering from exhaustion and malnutrition,” she continued. “You’ll need to be more aware of your body’s needs the next few months. Eat right, get plenty of water and rest.”

I barely heard her. “But
. . .
I can barely afford to pay my own rent. How am I going to pay for a child?” I was reeling, the implications and fallout hitting me with the force of a Mack truck.

“May I ask, is the father in the picture?”

Kade. Oh my God. He wasn’t even sure
I
could be a fixture in his life, what would he say when he found out I was pregnant? And Blane. Oh God
. . .

The room tilted again and the doctor jumped to her feet. “Lie down,” she said, easing me backward on the bed.

I squeezed my eyes shut as tears threatened. I would not cry in front of the doctor. I felt her take my hand, but she said nothing until I’d regained control. When I opened my eyes, her face held only compassion.

“If this was unplanned,” she said, “there are things you can do. Terminate the pregnancy, of course. There’s also adoption, if you want to give the baby up.”

This was too much. Her saying those things, it made it all too real.

“I have to get going,” I said, sitting up. “Um, where do I pay the bill?”

“The bill’s been taken care of,” she said. “The gentleman who I believe helped you earlier?”

Blane.

Panic struck. “You’re not going to tell him, are you?” I asked.

“Your records are confidential,” the doctor assured me, “though if he’s the father, I would encourage you to consider telling him.”

Hysterical laughter bubbled up in my chest and I swallowed it down. This felt like déjà vu. Just a few months ago I’d been afraid I was pregnant with Blane’s child. Now I
was
pregnant, but with his brother’s.

I hurried out of the room, intent on getting away as quickly as possible. I couldn’t think, couldn’t begin to process the abrupt turn my life had just taken. I felt inches from falling apart. If I could just make it to my car
. . .

“Hey.”

I was suddenly brought to a halt by a hand on my arm. I looked up to see that Blane had stepped into my path.

“What did the doctor say?” he asked.

My eyes were wide with panic. I swallowed, forcing my voice to be calm when I replied. “She said I was fine,” I said, pasting a fake smile on my face. “Just like I told you.”

Blane’s eyes narrowed. “You’re lying,” he said flatly. “And I’m not in any kind of mood to be playing games with you. What did she say?”

Suddenly, it was all too much, and I snapped.

“Oh, now you’ve decided that you care? Listen, Blane, I don’t give a
shit
what kind of
mood
you’re in! It’s my life and you made it quite clear that you’re no longer in it. So don’t threaten me, and don’t push me!”

Blane’s face could have been carved in stone as my words echoed in my head. I was breathing hard, my fists clenched at my sides, as I stared up at him. I took a couple of steps backward, then turned and hurried away. I saw other people in the hallway staring, but I kept my gaze straight ahead and didn’t stop until I was locked safely inside the steamy oven of my car.

I started the engine but paused as I went to shift into drive. My hands were shaking, and it hit me all over again.

I was pregnant.

Leaning against the steering wheel, I started to sob.

C
HAPTER
F
IVE

I
drove home mechanically, everything on autopilot. My head throbbed from crying and my stomach was rolling. I trudged up the stairs to my apartment and unlocked the door.

Like a robot, I started sorting through the stack of mail sitting on my kitchen table, tossing three bills in a row into a separate pile. Two ads and a coupon book later, I saw an envelope that jerked me from my stupor. I’d been dreading this.

My grades had arrived.

I’d missed all my finals. I’d been kidnapped, then had attended Blane’s hearing, all of which forced me to skip the exams. The money I’d spent on the classes had been wasted.

I opened the envelope, steeling myself for what I’d see, then sat staring in astonishment.

Straight As.

But that was impossible! The final exam counted for half my grade in some of these classes. By all rights, the highest I could have possibly gotten was maybe a C, if the professor had been kind. They must have gotten things mixed up in the computer or something—wait.

Computers. Of course.

Kade had done this. That’s what he’d meant when he’d told me not to worry about it.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I disliked cheating, but what was I going to do? Go in there and tell them my friend had hacked their computers and changed my grades? Right.

Tossing the paper onto the kitchen table, I heaved a sigh. I’d just have to ask Kade to change them back, that’s all. But later. Not right now. Not until he was better.

My bed beckoned, so I lay down and shut my eyes. I didn’t want to think, didn’t want to face the fact that I was pregnant.

So I slept, not waking until the insistent buzzing of my cell phone on the table beside me wouldn’t stop. I glanced at the caller ID. Alisha.

“Hey,” I answered tonelessly.

“Where are you?” she asked immediately.

“Home.”

“Well, come let me in then. I’ve been banging on your door for ten minutes.”

Obediently, I ended the call and climbed out of bed. I walked through the kitchen and living room to the front door, then opened it. Alisha stood there.

“You’ve had me worried sick,” she complained, following me inside. “You didn’t call me back after you talked to the doctor. I’ve been imagining all kinds of horrible things.” She plopped down next to where I’d settled on the sofa. “So what did he say?”

“She,” I automatically corrected.

Alisha rolled her eyes. “Just tell me.”

Part of me, the irrational part that still hoped this was all a nightmare, didn’t want to tell her because that would mean it was real. I forced myself to speak.

“She said
. . .
she said I’m pregnant,” I stammered, my eyes filling with tears again.

Alisha looked as stunned as I still felt, but when she saw me start crying, she wrapped me in a tight hug.

“It’ll be okay,” she crooned to me as I sobbed.

“N-no, it w-won’t,” I sputtered through my tears.

“Of course it will,” she soothed, patting me on the shoulder as I eased back from her. She grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table and handed it to me. “So, do you, um
. . .
know
. . .
who the father is?”

“Geez, Alisha!” I said in exasperation. “Please tell me you did
not
just ask me that.”

“Hey, no judgment,” she said, putting her hands up in a gesture of surrender. “I’m your friend here, remember?”

I sighed. “I know. And yeah, I know who the father is.” I swallowed. “It’s
. . .
it’s Kade.”

“Yes!” Alisha hissed, squeezing her eyes shut and pumping her fist.

I laughed a little at her antics. “Nice,” I said dryly, though she smiled innocently at me.

My smile faded. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. What’s Blane going to say? And Kade—he’s just going to totally freak out.”

“What does Blane have to do with anything?” she huffed.

“They’re brothers, Alisha,” I sighed. “It’s bad enough I fell in love with both of them. Slept with both of them. When I think of how they’re going to react to this news
. . . 
?” I shuddered, unable to finish the thought aloud. I swallowed. “Blane’s going to hate me. Kade will pretend he doesn’t care what Blane thinks, but we both know that’s not true. Not to mention the fact that Kade and I haven’t discussed anything long-term, and now I have to tell him he’s going to be a father. The longest I’ve ever seen him stay in one place is a few weeks.”

Alisha seemed to digest this before asking, “So what’re you going to do?”

“I have absolutely no idea.” My throat closed up again, but I forced the next thought out, putting my worst fear into words. “What if he leaves, Alisha? What if he just leaves me?”

She took my hand. “Hey,” she said, forcing me to look at her. “You’re not alone, no matter what Blane and Kade do or don’t do. You have me. You have your friends. You won’t be going through this alone.”

I couldn’t speak through the lump in my throat, so I squeezed her hand, hoping she understood what I was unable to say.

“I’m hungry,” she said, sitting back and abruptly changing the subject. “I think I have a pizza in my freezer. Want to come help me eat it?”

My stomach growled and I realized I was famished. I hadn’t eaten all day and frozen pizza sounded like heaven.

“Yeah, let me just run a brush through my hair and I’ll be over,” I said.

She agreed and left after making me promise I wouldn’t take longer than a few minutes. I was just finishing brushing my teeth when my cell rang.

It was Kade.

I took a deep breath before I answered. I wanted to sound normal. I wasn’t ready to tell him yet, especially not over the phone.

“Hey,” I answered, making my voice bright and forcing a smile.

“I hope you’re taking it easy tonight,” Kade said.

“Um, yeah, I
. . .
uh
. . .
was going to visit with Alisha for a while, maybe go to bed early.” I winced, remembering how I’d practically begged him to let me come back to the hospital tonight. Now I knew there was no way I could see him. I wouldn’t be able to hide this from him. He’d see through me immediately.

“Good,” he said. “I’m worried about you.”

“No need,” I replied, keeping my voice light. “I’m fine.” And I was. The doctor said I was perfectly fine
. . .
for a woman growing another person inside her.

I smacked my palm against my forehead.
Stop thinking about it stop thinking about it stop—

“Doctor says I get to blow this joint tomorrow, finally,” he groused.

“Want me to pick you up?”

“Blane’s coming to get me. You don’t have to.”

I let out a silent sigh of relief. Alrighty then. That’d be a big, fat
Hell no
, at least on my part. A car ride with all three of us? No way could I handle that.

“Okay, that’s good,” I said, then realized how that sounded. “I mean, that you’re getting out.”

Kade was quiet for a moment, then said, “Blane said you collapsed from exhaustion this morning.”

I forced a laugh. “
Collapsed
sounds so dramatic! No, I just had a
. . .
a spell, that’s all. Shouldn’t have skipped dinner last night, I guess.” Another fake laugh that petered away into awkward silence.

“Wow. You are really bad at that.”

“At what?” I asked, stung.

“At lying.” I could hear the eye-roll in his tone. “But since I want you to get some rest and I’ll get it out of you tomorrow anyway, I’ll let it pass.”

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. “Whatever,” I muttered, channeling my inner teenager.

“Catch you on the flip side, princess.” The line went dead.

I stood there a moment, trying not to acknowledge the panic rising inside me. Alisha had helped a little, but now the doubts and fear came rushing back.

What was I doing to do? Like, really? Was I really going to greet Kade tomorrow with
“Hi! So glad you’re out of the hospital! Guess what? I’m pregnant! Congrats!”

My hands started to shake as my head continued playing out the drama.

“Congratulations, Blane! You’re going to be an uncle! I know it was just eight months ago when we thought I was pregnant with your baby. This time the test came back positive!”

My knees started knocking as I imagined the look on both of their faces.

“Oh my God,” I moaned, sinking onto my couch. I couldn’t do it. Literally. I could not face Blane and Kade and tell them this. Would Kade even want the baby? What if he didn’t? It had been hard enough for him to accept what a liability
I
had become in his life. What would a baby, his own flesh and blood, do to him?

I started seeing spots and realized I was hyperventilating. I bent over, sticking my head between my knees, and tried to breathe. After a few minutes, my vision cleared.

Suddenly, I wanted to be close to Kade, but going to the hospital was out of the question. What I
could
do, though, was go to his apartment. All his things were there, I’d feel better, and he’d be none the wiser.

Grabbing my keys, I headed out the door, stopping by to tell Alisha I’d changed my mind on the pizza thing. She looked concerned but let me go. I think she realized I needed more time to come to grips with the new twist my life had just taken.

Kade lived only minutes from my apartment, and in no time I was parking in the garage and letting myself into his place. He’d given me his keys last week, in case I needed “something other than a piece of shit” to drive.

Kade’s apartment was dark, save for the soft glow of the two lamps that hung over the bar. They were glass shades handmade in amber hues. The penthouse loft was quiet and still, the low hum of the refrigerator and the ticking of a clock the only sounds.

I felt the knot in my stomach ease as I stood there. Going into his bedroom, I stripped and took a shower, taking too long sniffing his shampoo. When I got out and dried off, I searched his clothes, grabbing a black T-shirt he’d worn and discarded. Holding it to my nose, I inhaled deeply. It smelled of Kade.

Dropping the towel, I pulled the shirt on over my head before crawling into his bed. Nuzzling my face into his pillow, I let out a deep sigh, drifting off to sleep.

My blood pounded in my veins and I moaned. There was the most delicious sensation between my legs. Warm and wet, a gentle nudge pushing my knees farther apart. Hands slipped between my folds for a touch even more intimate.

Pulling myself out of a deep slumber, I realized it wasn’t a dream. The sheets and blanket had been tugged down to my feet and a man’s head lay between my thighs, his mouth and tongue on me, inside me.

Jerking fully awake, I squeaked in alarm. Then he raised his head and the piercing blue of his eyes met mine.

Kade.

I didn’t know how he’d gotten here or why he was no longer in the hospital, since they weren’t supposed to release him until tomorrow, and I didn’t care. I sat up quickly, my hands gripping his bare shoulders and pulling. I needed him. Now.

Our lips met in fevered passion and I was gratified he’d already shed his clothes. Moving up my body, our mouths still connected, he settled between my thighs. We parted only long enough for him to jerk my shirt over my head and toss it aside, then he was kissing me again. He pushed inside me in one strong thrust.

Mewling and sounds I couldn’t control emanated from my throat as I wrapped my legs around his waist. Each stroke of his cock pushed me closer to the edge and my nails dug into his shoulders. My hips lifted to meet his thrusts until I couldn’t keep up with his pace. Harder and faster and deeper until I was on fire. My orgasm seemed to reach all the way to my toes, Kade swallowing my cries, his length growing thicker inside me. His hips jackknifed into me as a hard tremor shook him, pushing me over the edge again, my body convulsing around his. He gave a masculine moan that was one of the best sounds I’d ever heard.