Point of No Return (41 page)

The boys behaved and didn’t spill or break anything this year, and Lana was happy chewing on a toy in her high chair. All four boys went to play once they were finished, leaving the adults to chat. I was seated to the right of Blane, who was at the head of the table, with Kade then on my right. Branna sat opposite me, with Lucy on her left.

We talked and laughed and Blane poured more wine, heaping praise on Mona and Vivian for the fabulous Christmas dinner. It was late when we finally roused ourselves from the table. I put Lana down in a crib Gerard had installed in my old room upstairs back when Kane was born, then joined Mona and Vivian in the kitchen to help clean up.

“Are you ready to go?” I asked Kade when we were finished, perching on the arm of the chair where he sat in the den, drinking some of the scotch Chance had brought. I removed the glass from his hand and took a sip, then handed it back.

“The kids’ll probably fall asleep in the car on the way home,” he said, sliding an arm around my waist. I rested my arm across his shoulders. “They’ve worn themselves out.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said with sigh.

“You can’t go yet,” Blane protested. “You haven’t sung for us.”

It had become a yearly tradition, Blane playing the piano while I sang a carol or two. It had felt a bit odd at first, but over the years everyone had urged us to do our usual performance and I couldn’t say no. This year was no different.

Blane’s fingers ran over the ivory keys while Kade refilled everyone’s wineglass. The rich notes of the piano filled the room.

“What’ll it be this year?” Blane asked me softly as the hubbub of conversation drifted around us.

I leaned on the piano, thinking. “I don’t know. How about
. . .
‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’?”

Blane’s hands moved seamlessly from the chords he played to warm up into the opening lines of the tune. The song was slow and I took my time with the lyrics.

I rested my hand on Blane’s shoulder as the lyrics spoke of faithful friends. He was so dear to me, to our family. I was grateful beyond words for his presence in our lives.

My eyes found Kade’s as I sang, their blue just as piercing as on the day I’d met him. His gaze held me captive and I couldn’t look away while I finished the carol. I sang another couple of tunes before we finished our performance, then Blane stood, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as everyone applauded and began talking.

“Always beautiful,” Blane said with a warm smile. He squeezed me in a hug, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“That’s just because you play so well,” I replied. Kade’s hands settled on my waist, tugging me slightly, and I turned to see him standing behind me.

“Nicely done,” Kade said. I stretched onto my toes to give him a kiss.

Chance and Lucy gathered their boys and headed home after more admonishments about the roads. Gerard left to drive Vivian to the hotel where she preferred to stay when she was in town.

Kade and I had driven the SUV tonight, so I didn’t think we’d have any trouble getting home, and besides, we lived just a few miles away. I saw Chance and Lucy out, then returned to the den, where Branna sat on the couch, a glass of wine in hand, while Blane stood by the fire. I went over to him and reached up to give him one last hug.

“Thanks for letting us invade your home,” I said. “Again.”

“Anytime,” he said. “You still having your annual New Year’s party?”

“Absolutely,” I said. “You’re coming, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Blane replied.

“I’ll go round up the boys,” I told Kade. “Would you mind starting the car?” He’d already taken the kids’ haul out earlier. God forbid we’d get up in the morning and there was some toy we’d left at Blane’s.

“Sure,” he said.

“I can get the little one for you,” Branna offered, setting her wine aside.

“Thanks,” I said. “That would be great.”

It didn’t take me too long to get the boys bundled up, and I sent them in to tell Mona thank you before she left for home as well. I was passing by the den when I heard Kade and Blane talking. I would’ve kept going, but I heard my name, so I stopped.

It had been a long time since I’d eavesdropped on one of their conversations, and I felt a niggle of guilt as I did so, but that didn’t make me step away from the door.

“
. . .
still in love with Kathleen?” Kade asked.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Blane said. “That ended a long time ago.”

“Yeah, it ended,” Kade said, “but I don’t think that did a damn thing to change how you feel. I’m your brother, and I know you.”

My eyes widened. What was Kade talking about? Surely, Blane had moved on—it had been years, after all. He’d dated other women after Kade and I had married, and he’d been with Branna.

“Christ, Kade, you think now is a good time to talk about this? On Christmas?”

“What, should I fly to DC and make an appointment with your secretary?” Kade’s sarcasm was thick. “Just answer the question.”

Blane stared at his brother, who gazed unflinchingly back at him.

Well, this was awkward. Blane should have known that he wouldn’t be able to fool Kade. Not that he’d tried. They hadn’t had a frank discussion about Kat in years, though why Kade would pick tonight of all nights to bring it up was a mystery.

“What do you want me to say, Kade?” Blane asked, lifting his arms in exasperation before they dropped back to his sides. “That I’m still in love with your wife?”

“Are you?”

Kade didn’t look angry. He looked
. . .
pained. As though he already knew the answer and was just waiting for Blane to say it out loud.

Blane didn’t want to hurt Kade, but neither did he want to lie. “A part of me is always going to be in love with her,” he said at last, his voice quiet. “She changed me, changed both of us, and you know I’d do anything for her.

“But that doesn’t mean I’m not living my life or that I begrudge what you and she have,” Blane continued. “I’m glad you have a family, that you’re alive and happy. I’m not pining away for the past.”

And that was all quite true. Mostly. Did Blane lie awake in the dead of night and wonder what might have been? Sometimes. But no one needed to know that except him.

“I know Kathleen loves you,” Kade said, and Blane’s heart gave a lurch even though logically he knew Kade meant it in a way that didn’t warrant the brief hope that had flared in Blane. “She always has and she always will. I came to terms with that a long time ago.”

“So what’s your point?” Blane asked. There were about a thousand and one other things he’d rather suffer through a heart-to-heart with Kade about than this.

“Are you being fair to Branna?” Kade asked.

Ah. Branna. She’d been there when he’d lost Kathleen, and Blane had been there for her when she’d realized that she and Kade weren’t ever going to happen.

“Branna is very special to me,” Blane said.

“Are you going to marry her?”

Blane took a deep breath. “Besides the fact that it’s none of your business, no, we have no plans to get married.” How to explain their relationship? “Branna’s a friend, Kade. We’ve been
. . .
good for each other. And that’s all you need to know.”

Kade nodded. “Fine. I don’t wanna know the details.” He pushed a hand through his hair. “I guess my point, and I do have one, is that
. . .
we’re family. Me. You. Kathleen. And nothing’s going to change that.”

Their eyes met and Blane was suddenly glad that his brother hadn’t taken Kat away from Indy. He could have. Kade could have put as much distance as he wanted between Blane and Kathleen, but he hadn’t. He’d allowed Blane to be a part of all their lives—Kathleen’s, Kade’s, and their kids’.

A look of mutual understanding passed between them. The past was a long time ago, but it felt good to clear the air. If Kade, who avoided talking about his feelings even more than Blane did, brought it up, it must have been bothering him.

The door suddenly swung open and the boys came barreling into the room, looking for their dad. Beyond the door stood Kat. Blane’s gaze fell on her. She was staring at him, her expression stark, as though she’d overheard every word he and Kade had said
. . .

Shit.

“Here you go!” Branna said, stepping up to Kat with Lana in her arms and jerking Kat’s attention from Blane.

Lana was rubbing her fists against her eyes and yawning, all bundled up in her coat and shoes. She looked like a doll-sized version of Kat, with her reddish blonde curls, blue eyes, and little red lips. When she saw her mom, she held her arms out. There was a familiar twist in Blane’s gut at this, but his face showed nothing.

“All right, you monsters,” Kade said, corralling the boys. “Outside with you. The chariot awaits. No pushing, no shoving, no running. No activity that will result in wet clothes or crying.”

Blane shook his head. His little brother—a father now, and a good one at that. Kade had turned his life around.

He followed Kade out into the hallway, watching as Kade took Lana from Kat and then headed outside after Kane and Teddy, who were already ignoring his edicts and hurling snowballs at each other with ungloved hands.

“It was good to see you again,” Kat said politely, giving Branna a hug. Branna allowed the gesture, murmuring, “You too.” Blane was glad they’d buried the hatchet a while back. He doubted they’d ever be close, but at least they didn’t fight anymore. Branna glanced at him as she passed by and Blane brushed her hand with his.

“I’ll be there in a moment,” he said with a small smile. She nodded before heading back into the library, leaving Blane alone with Kat.

Blane reached into the nearby closet for Kat’s coat, which he’d gotten as a gift for her last Christmas. He held it open for her to put on, and she obediently slipped her arms into the sleeves. Blane reached inside the collar, lifting her long hair from underneath. His fingers grazed the back of her neck.

Kat was looking up at him when she turned around, but Blane focused on doing up the fastenings on her coat. She was so little, even after having three children. Blane had deliberated for a long time as to which coat would keep her warm enough through an Indiana winter. The wool and cashmere blend he’d finally settled on was a good choice.

“I’m glad Branna’s here,” Kat said quietly.

Blane didn’t answer. He didn’t want to talk about or dwell on the past. It was enough to just be around Kat. His fingers moved slow and deliberately, easily slipping the loops one-by-one over the fastenings.

“I
. . .
don’t like to think of you by yourself.”

Blane finished doing up the last loop and lifted his gaze to hers. Yes, she’d overheard all right. She looked sad, and Blane couldn’t bear to see that in her eyes.

“I’m content, Kat,” he assured her, lifting a hand to cup her soft cheek. “You’ve given Kade so much—a life he never would have had without you. You saved my brother. If I didn’t already love you, I would for that. Things have a way of
. . .
working out.”

Kat’s expression eased and Blane folded her into a hug, savoring the fleeting moment when she was in his arms. They stayed like that until that twinge inside him said any longer would be unwise, then he let her go.

“Don’t worry about me,” he said, squeezing her hand. He smiled, trying to lighten the mood. “Though I won’t pretend I don’t like it when you do.”

Her lips lifted in an answering smile. “I always worry about you,” she admitted.

“I’m fine,” Blane said easily, dismissing her concern though a part of him was pleased. “You’d better go. Your husband’s going to think you forgot about him.”

Kat nodded and took a step toward the door, then turned back to him. Rising on her toes she pressed her lips to his in a quick kiss, then another. Her palm cupped his jaw as she looked into his eyes.

“You’re a
good
man,” she whispered, her blue gaze intent on his.

Blane was too stunned to say or do anything, and a moment later she was pulling open the front door and hurrying to the waiting car. He stood in the doorway and watched as the SUV pulled away from the house, heading into the falling snow as they drove down the road.