Playing My Love (34 page)

  Embarrassed and upset, I drained my glass and picked up my bag.

  "I'm really sorry Lottie, I didn't notice the time.  I've got work in the morning, so I should really make a move."  I stood up quickly, wobbling with the wine.  "It was lovely meeting you."

  Her mouth dropped open in surprise, especially when I just turned and left wi
thout waiting for her to answer, practically running from the bar and cursing Jazz as I went.  My head was more than a little fuzzy from the alcohol, but I was capable of remembering how much she'd relaxed when she'd thought I was straight.

  Out on the street I searched for a taxi while typing out an angry text to Jazz about the etiquette in setting two people up, realising even as I did how irrational I was being.  I was just getting into a taxi I'd flagged down when I heard Lottie call out my name behind me.  I asked the driver to wait for a second, then turned around to face her.  She looked upset.

  "I'm sorry, I know it was rude to just run out, but…" 

  "Whoa, stop a second"  she interrupted firmly.  "Look, I know I've been single for a long time, but I'm pretty sure things haven't changed much since I last dated.  I thought…no, I know I was getting the right signals from you in there, right?  I mean, you
were
flirting with me, weren't you?  Because if you weren't, I'm making an absolute idiot of myself right now"  she said softly and uncertainly.

  "Yes, I was.  But you said you'd come out for Jazz"  I said and she smiled, relieved.

  "If you hadn't run out on me I would have been able to finish what I
was
going to say, which was that when we walked in and I saw you, I sort of regretted that I was out with Jazz!  Then when she left us together, I thought that she'd set us up…and I was really happy.  But then everything got all confused.  You said you'd been married to a man, so I thought I'd got it wrong and it really
was
just an innocent drink…until you started flirting with me."  She held my gaze with her intense green eyes and took a couple of steps closer, placing a hand on my hip.  "Alison, were you flirting with me because you're interested in me?"

  I nodded, unable to speak because I wasn't sure my lungs held enough air to form anything coherent.  Lottie looked relieved again.

  "Good, cos I've been wanting to do this all night"  she whispered, pulling our bodies together and softly pressing her warm lips to mine.

                                                               
22

                                           Alternate Ending 2

DARCY

  It was a good four hours before I returned back home.  I spent a good deal of that in the coffee shop, trying to find answers in the erratic chaos provided by caffeine, but there were no more answers in the bottom of a mug than in the bottom of a bottle.

  I found Sam in the bedroom.

 
Packing
?

  "I can't do this Darcy.  I can't always be wondering if you're going to leave me for her.  I know you're still in love with her, I saw it all over your face!  You cou
ldn't even hide it!"  she sobbed as she threw clothes into her case.  I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands.

  "I know.  I'm sorry."  I took a deep breath as tears started rolling down my cheeks.  "You're right, I do still have feelings for her.  I'm just…I'm so sorry."

  I watched as her face crumpled, closely followed by her body as she collapsed in a heap on the floor.

  "
Noooo!"  she wailed, obviously not expecting me to have admitted it so easily.  It cut straight to my heart.

  "I'm so sorry"  I repeated, not knowing what else to say.

  The next few hours were some of the worst of my life.  If I'd thought my heart had broken when Sam ended it with me two years ago, well that was nothing compared to how it felt breaking hers.  She begged me, pleaded with me to give things between us another chance, to go back to the States with her and see how things went.  But I knew how things would go if I did that.  I'd gone over every scenario in my head.  No matter where I was, if I wasn't with Alison, I would always be thinking about her.  My feelings for her weren't ever going to go away!  That night we'd shared under the stars had sealed it for me, and if I went with Sam I'd only be lying to both of us about where my heart truly was.

  We talked and cried until we were both exhausted, getting into bed together for the last time and holding onto each other until sleep claimed us.

  Even though I knew I was doing the right thing, I still felt completely devastated.  This morning we'd had our future together planned out, we'd been happy and in love.  Now, despite her giving up everything for me, I was unable to do the same for her and I hated myself for it.

  After I'd driven Sam to the airport I went home and cried solidly for a couple of days, hating that I'd destroyed her life.  Then I decided I needed to see Alison, to try and patch things up with her and see if she still thought we could have a chance.  I actually felt a bit foolish for ending things with Sam without checking Alison would want me, but I knew it would have been unfair to pretend with her any longer.  No, I'd definitely done the right thing.

  So, five days after I'd seen her in the park, I drove to Alison's cottage with my heart in my throat.  As I pulled in her drive, I noticed straight away that her jeep was missing, but I got out and tried knocking anyway, just in case.  There was no answer.  I tried calling her mobile, but it told me her number was no longer recognised and I sighed, heading back to my car to look for some paper.  On it I wrote,

Alison,

PLEASE, call me as soon as you can?  I need to talk to you urgently.

Love Daneka x

  T
hen I pushed it through her letterbox.  I'd signed off with Daneka hoping it would jog her into calling, but I didn't want to tell her I'd ended things with Sam in a letter.  That was something I wanted to say when we were face to face, so that she could see I meant it when I told her I was in love with her.

  Feeling
extremely depressed, I drove home to wait for her to call.

  But she didn't.  Not
that night, nor the next and I began to get anxious.  After two weeks, I went back to her cottage very late one night, determined to catch her in.  But as I peered through the French windows in the lounge, an icy feeling crept through my veins.

  It was empty.  Empty as in no furniture, no belongings, and (almost definitely) no Alison.  All of a sudden I realised what she'd done and I cried out against the window pane in despair, feeling my soul shatter.  She'd blocked me on
facebook, changed her phone number, and moved out.  She'd removed herself from my life.  Totally, utterly and completely.

  I crouched on the ground in the dark, clutching my chest where a black hole had suddenly appeared, sucking everything surrounding it in.

  I stayed there for a very long time.

                                       TWO MONTHS LATER

ALISON

  I got a call from the estate agents confirming that the cottage was now on the market, and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my heart.  I thanked them and hung up, staring into space.

  Even though I'd had my own place for the last six weeks now I still couldn't shake off the suffocating loneliness that threatened to break me every single day.  Jazz and Chris had been amazing, as always, but I couldn't keep running to them whenever I felt down, which was every second of every day if I was honest.  I already owed them big time for the help they'd given in getting me out of my cottage, and for letting me stay until I found somewhere of my own.

  When I'd seen Darcy in the park with Sam, seen how happy they were together, I'd decided enough was enough, my infatuation with her had to end and I had to let her go.  The only way for me to do that was to leave town, for good.  So I'd called Jazz.  Chris had rallied in a favour he had with a friend who owned a large truck, and between them all, we got my cottage packed up and I was out within ten days, my stuff in storage until I found some place of my own.

  It hadn't taken long as I wasn't part of a chain, and I had the cash to buy a property outright.  I bought a small flat and donated most of my old furniture to a women's refuge, deciding to keep stuff at my new place as minimalistic as possible.  I also instructed the estate agents to deal with all my post and not to forward my new address on to anyone, no matter what.

  Everything had happened so fast, my feet
had barely had a chance to touch the ground, and now here I was, two months down the line as Ms Alison Humphreys.  I had an interview lined up for the following week to return to work as a nurse, and I was starting afresh.

  I sighed.  It sounded good in theory, but the reality was that I still felt crushingly lonely.  Last week Jazz had tried to set me up with a girl she played squash with,
and although she was a genuinely lovely, attractive girl, I couldn't stop thinking about Darcy the whole time.  She'd told me to take her number anyway, just in case I changed my mind, and I hadn't thrown it away, so maybe one day I'd give her a call?  Maybe?

  The phone rang again, snapping me out of my daze.

  "Hello?"

  "You were supposed to meet me an hour ago for lunch.  Are you okay?"
  The strange mix of total abruptness and caring sentiment told me Jazz had returned back to work in a bad mood because of me, and I looked at the clock in alarm.  Three hours had passed since the estate agent had called!  I shook my head in shock, amazed that I'd zoned out for so long.

  "I'm sorry…I think I must have dozed off"  I mumbled.  There was a long pause.

  "Are you still not sleeping?"

  "Not really.  I think I'm still adjusting to the noise of the city at night.  Look, why don't you and Chris come over for dinner later?  I'll do us a lasagne or a stew or something?"

  "I'll check with Chris and get back to you on that.  Gotta run, my client's just rolled up
"  she said, then hung up.  I put the phone down and went to look out of the window, thinking if I didn't get the job next week, I was probably going to go stir crazy.  At a loss for something to do for the rest of the day, I decided to take a proper nap, in my bed.

  I dreamed that Darcy and Sam came over for dinner, and when I woke from it later, I cried.

                                     FOUR MONTHS LATER

  I got home from work and checked my
phone messages, looking though the pile of spam post that had been unceremoniously deposited in my mail box.  The first made me stop still.

  "Hi, Ms Humphreys, this is Kevin from You're Home.  I'm afraid I have bad news, the couple that put the offer on your cottage last week have withdrawn it this afternoon.  We aren't one hundred per cent certain why, because they didn't specify but we're all quite shocked here by their decision, being such a beautiful property and all.  I really thought they'd fallen in love with it, but still, not to worry!"

  I scowled at the machine and balled up a pizza delivery menu to chuck at virtual Kevin as he smarmed on out.

  "I wonder if you've given any more thought to renting it out?  I think it's something seriously worth considering at this point, especially since we've had quite a lot of interest from people who are looking to rent, but obviously it is up to you.  If you
want to discuss things, give me a call back at your convenience, okay?"

  I turned my scowl to the ceiling and took a deep breath. 
Another
withdrawn offer, the fifth in four months, and another with no solid reason why.  I wondered if someone was telling them that the previous occupant had died in there?  That usually scared people off.  In frustration I threw my keys across the room, and watched as they headed straight for an empty wine glass I'd left out the night before.  The glass exploded everywhere and I groaned.

  As I carefully cleared up the tiny shards, I thought about what Kevin had suggested.  Maybe I should put it up for rent?  It was too beautiful to be sitting empty, and I wasn't making any money the whole time it was.  It made sense to rent it out, really.

  The next day I made the call and requested it be rented to a professional couple only, and wondered at Kevin's almost ecstatic response.  He promised it would be occupied within a fortnight, and he was absolutely right.