Playing for Keeps (Texas Scoundrels) (16 page)

An odd sense of calm swept over him, when he’d expected panic instead. “I need to talk to your mom, but I’ll stop by tomorrow. We’ll talk more and figure out what we’re doing as we go, okay?”
 

At Austin’s nod, Jed headed for the door. “Goodnight,” he said, then reached for the knob.

Austin nodded again and then picked up his pencil. He muttered something Jed couldn’t quite make out as he stepped through the door, closing it softly behind him. By the time he reached the stairs, Austin’s words registered, hitting him like a ton of bricks.
 

“Goodnight...Dad.”

Nine

GRIFFEN DUCKED BACK into the family room the second she spied the light from Austin’s room spilling onto the landing. For the past thirty minutes she hadn’t moved, holding vigil at the base of the stairs, waiting for any sound that might indicate her son needed her. Her pride took a major hit when he hadn’t.

As she dodged a box with the carefully wrapped Hummel and Lladro figurines in preparation for the move to the bungalow in town, Jed appeared in the archway of the great room. He looked haggard, a little worn around the edges, and more than a bit shaken. Part of her was dying to ask what had happened. Curiosity, nothing more. Not because she felt any sympathy toward him. If Austin read him the riot act, who was she to complain if it meant Jed wouldn’t be hanging around upsetting her status quo.

He walked over to the sofa and sat, slinging his good arm over the back as if he belonged there. A dark blue, button down shirt outlined every dip and valley on his torso. It took every ounce of her self-control not to drool.

“I spoke to Austin,” he said, his voice calm, his gaze clear and steady. A direct contrast to the wild beating of her heart.

She moved an empty carton off the recliner and sat on the edge, facing him. “Okay...” What that meant exactly, she wasn’t sure. She just wished he’d get to the point because the anxiety was killing her.

“We’re going to give this father and son thing a shot,” he said evenly.

Her heart dropped into her stomach. She’d tried to prepare herself for this moment, knowing that once she’d gone to tell him about his son, their lives could change. Never in a million years had she expected anything to come from her visit. But now it had, and their lives were being altered once again.
 

She stared at Jed, still unable to believe what she was hearing. The worst of it was, she was absolutely powerless to prevent him from seeing Austin.
 

Panic crashed in and took hold. “No,” she said, shaking her head. “That’s not a good idea.” Her voice shook in perfect concert with her insides. How long would it be before he took her son away from her? All he had to do was file a petition for custody with the court, and she could lose Austin. Jed was high profile, no doubt with friends in the right places. He had more money than God, and he was Austin’s natural father. All she had going for her was an adoption decree. Considering his rights had been involuntarily terminated without proper notice, he had all the power.
 

 
“I’m bound to screw up now and then.” The determination in his gaze transferred to his voice, bringing back that hard edge she didn’t appreciate. “But we’ll figure it out.”

“Screw up now and
then
? Who are you trying to convince this is a good idea? You? Me?” She smacked her hands on her knees. “No offense, Jed, but your life has been nothing but a succession of screw ups.”

“Now wait a minute.”

“Exactly how do you plan on being a father to
my
son?” She thought of her own father. His gentleness. His caring. His always sound advice. “Good God. I can only imagine the words of wisdom you’d impart.”

She shot off the chair. Blind panic caused every protective instinct she possessed to flow to the surface, bringing with it an intense ferocity that had her trembling as she faced him. “There is no ‘we,’ in this scenario, Maitland.” She kept her voice low, striving for a calm she didn’t feel. “It’s me and Austin. Just the two of us. Got that?”

He stood and circled the table until he was towering above her. She tipped her head back to see the furrows between his brows deepen. The message he relayed with his eyes was unmistakable. She’d pushed him too far this time.

“What I’ve got is a son.” His low voice vibrated with suppressed anger.
 

She didn’t give a damn about his anger. She didn’t want to care about him, period. All she knew was she had to keep him from destroying their lives. She hadn’t spent the past six months picking up the pieces of the disaster Ross had left behind only to allow Jed to finish what little semblance of order she’d managed to cling to.

“No,” she cried, then brushed passed him. She needed to think, and she couldn’t do that with Maitland occupying her airspace. His very presence was a threat to all she had left—her son.

She took off for the stairs and ran up to her bedroom before the tears started, quietly closing the door so Austin wouldn’t hear her. Because once those tears fell, there’d be no calling them back, and she’d be damned if she’d cry in front of Jed.
 

She covered her mouth with her hand as the flood gate crashed open. Somehow her legs carried her to the bed where she fell across the turquoise and brown patterned comforter. Curling into a ball, she wept.
 

She cried for the past and for the unknown tomorrows she had yet to battle. She cried as if she’d never stop. When Ross had left her, she’d barely shed a tear. It hadn’t taken her long to realize that whatever they’d once shared had died long before he’d started chasing skirts behind her back. She’d hardly blinked when she’d been served with divorce papers. And when the overdue notices and threatening letters had started arriving, indicating Ross hadn’t paid the bills in months, she’d simply gone numb.
 

Making the decision to give up her beloved antique store and return to Corporate America hadn’t brought her as much pain as she’d imagined, only a sense of unfettered relief. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d indulged in a fit of tears, at least nothing that compared to the pain wrenching her heart now, a pain so fierce she feared she might break in two.
 

Austin was all she had left. Of all her dreams, of all her hopes, her son was the only thing she had that remained for her to hold on to, and she was losing him to the man who’d fathered him.

“Griffen?” Jed’s voice drifted to her. She’d been so full of self-pity, she hadn’t even heard him come into her bedroom.

“Go away,” she said, her voice muffled by the turquoise accent pillow she clutched to her chest. “Please, just go away.”

The bed dipped as he sat beside her. “You know I can’t do that.”
 

Somehow she knew he wasn’t talking about leaving her alone. He wasn’t leaving. Period.

She shoved the pillow aside, then wiped the moisture from her face before rolling onto her back. “What do you want from me?” She stared at the ceiling because she couldn’t bear to look at his face. If she saw pity in his eyes, she’d start bawling again.

Jed thought he could handle anything, until he’d seen Griffen cry. God, he hated when women cried, but Griffen’s sobs tore at his heart. He reached for her hand and tugged until she swung her purple fuzzy flip-flops to the floor and sat beside him.
 

“I want the truth.” He brushed a lock of hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “What are you so afraid of?”

She looked at him, her eyes bright with the threat of another onslaught of tears. She sniffled and looked away. “You.”

Her answer, and honesty, surprised him, mainly because he couldn’t imagine Griffen admitting to anything remotely close to fear. He took hold of her slender shoulders and turned her to face him. When she still refused to look at him, he gently lifted her chin until he could see her eyes. Those expressive eyes that revealed more than she knew.
 

“Why would you be afraid of me?” he asked gently. He kept his hand beneath her chin. Not because she’d look away, but because he liked the feel of her soft skin. “I told you I’d never take Austin away from you. He’s your son, too, Griffen, just as much as he is mine. Hell, if not more so. You’re the one who’s been there for him all these years.”

She shook her head. A tear hovered on her lash, then slid slowly down her cheek. With the pad of his thumb, he wiped it away, then traced the outline of her lower lip. She had full lips, sensuous lips and he had a sudden, wild desire to taste them.
 

 
“Give us a chance to get to know each other,” he said when she continued to look at him with those teary eyes. “I can’t do this without your help.”

She laughed, a caustic, tear-filled sound and pulled away from him. Pushing herself off the bed, she turned to face him, her hands settling on her hips. The fire was back in her eyes, and he couldn’t help the jolt of desire that pulsed through his veins.
 

“You don’t need my help, Jed. You’ve had an
in
with Austin long before he even knew you were his father.”

“That’s an image. It isn’t me.” He came off the bed to stand in front of her. Her scent filled his senses. Damn, but she turned him on, made him want things he had no business wanting—her. “I can’t change who I am.”

She looked at him as if he’d lost his mind. He couldn’t refute the possibility.
 

“Okay then,” she said, “for how long? How long until you’re bored with the routine? It isn’t all hero worship, you know.”

“I realize that.” He kept his arms at his sides. An effort, when he really wanted to put them around her and draw her close. He wanted to chase her fears away, to kiss her senseless so she’d stop arguing with him. He needed her to accept that he was going to be a part of his son’s life. One way or another.

Griffen moved away, putting some much needed space between them. She couldn’t concentrate with him standing so close. Especially with a bed nearby.

“Being a parent is more than just showing up on weekends when you’re in town.” She dropped onto the chaise in the far corner of the room and looked up at him. “It’s communicating so he can understand you and what you expect from him. There are parent/teacher conferences at the worst possible time, late nights in the ER when he’s sick. Making sure he gets his homework done. Washing his clothes. Taking him to the dentist. Making sure he doesn’t get involved with the wrong crowd. It’s knowing when to say yes and when to trust your instincts and say no. Dammit, Jed,” she said coming off the chaise, “you’re not a peanut butter and jelly kind of guy. You’re...you’re fresh lobster and five hundred dollar champagne.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and braced his feet apart, his stance filled with a determination that unnerved her. Every inch of him was male. Delicious, hard male. She saw it in the darkness of his eyes and the arrogant tilt of his head. He was sex, primal and raw, and God help her, she wanted him. He made her feel alive for the first time in ages. It didn’t matter she fighting for her way of life, she still wanted him in the worst possible way.
 

“You’re not even willing to give me a chance.”
 

His voice jarred her out of her temporary, sex-riddled stupor. She refocused. “Parenting isn’t easy,” she told him. “Our lives here are boring and simple. Little league, PTA meetings, ice cream socials, the summer carnival, homecoming and the winter festival. Hart is small town, not fast lane. We’re a long way from the bright lights of a football stadium. There aren’t any screaming fans here, either. How could that possibly appeal to someone like you?”

“The truth?” He rubbed the side of his five-o’clock-shadowed jaw in contemplation. “I don’t know,” he finally answered.

“Well, I’ll be damned if Austin and I are going to be an experiment for you. We aren’t a pair of shoes you get to try on to see if you like the fit.” Her frustration mounted and she welcomed the emotion, preferring it to fear any day of the week.
 

She circled the bed and came to stand in front of him. “Dammit,
I
need to know.” She poked him in the chest, but this time he didn’t wince. The jerk had the gall to grin. “You’d better figure it out fast, pal, because I won’t let you...”
hurt me
, but she stopped herself before she said the words. Letting him know she found him attractive was one thing, but no way was she going to let on that she...what? Cared for him?
 

As much as she worried about his relationship with Austin, she also feared that she
could
come to care for Jed. A lot. He wasn’t all rough edges. There was a tenderness, a gentleness in him that called to her. When he’d found her crying, the careful way he’d treated her had softened her.
 

His grin faded and something lit his eyes that made her heart beat a wild rhythm. Her mouth went dry as dust when she recognized the emotion. Desire.

“Won’t let me what, Griffen?” His low voice vibrated with it, causing heat to coil low in her belly.

She backed up a step.
 

He advanced.
 

“I won’t let you make promises you can’t keep.”
 

“But I do keep my promises.” He taunted her. He continued to move toward her, his steps slow and measured. For each step he took forward, she took one back, until she brushed up against the wall. He kept his gaze locked with hers, and the heat in them simmered. “I’ll make you a promise right now.”