Play Me, I'm Yours [Library Edition] (21 page)

Zach lifted his arms, exposing his armpits. “Pit hair’s the first to go,” he explained, and then reached out an arm toward Lucas. Turning it over, he pointed to the underside of his forearm. “Feel right here.”

Lucas, his heart pounding in his chest, moved his fingers across Zach’s forearm, feeling soft, fine hairs. “I never shave here. This is where your arm catches the water. You want to grip the water, not let it slip past you.”

Zach, still kneeling beside him, started to unbutton his fly. Lucas watched his fingers in awe, the anticipation of what was to come causing his heart to thump wildly. Zach lifted himself enough to slide his jeans down past his hips and off his legs. Lucas’s gaze traveled down and then back up those long, smooth limbs before settling on his briefs, where a large, wet patch of fabric hugged the outline of his still-hard cock. “I only do a full-body shave right before an important meet. You lose the advantage otherwise.”

“It doesn’t help you in practice?”

“Most people think swimmers shave down to get rid of their hair, to reduce drag. That’s true to some extent, but the real benefit is getting rid of the top layer of dead skin. When your body hits the water after a fresh shave, there’s no feeling like it in the world. Your skin is more sensitive, and you have a heightened feel for the water. It can give you an edge in competition. You feel invincible. But if you do it regularly, you lose the effect.”

“So you just shaved then?”

“Yeah, feel,” Zach said as he grabbed hold of Lucas’s hand and guided it along his shin.

Lucas groaned. Touching Zach like this was heaven. The mere sight of Zach without his shirt had been enough to make him hard. Touching him sent spikes of pleasure surging through his chest and down to his groin.

Lucas let his gaze fall back to the wet spot on Zach’s briefs. “Do you shave there too?”

The sound of the front door slamming interrupted them. Zach jumped off the bed and tugged his pants back on, then changed his mind and kicked them off. He pulled off his briefs and used them to wipe himself before grabbing a pair a pants from the top of his hamper and slipping them on instead.

Lucas sat with his mouth gaping open as he tried to process what he’d just seen. Zach’s cock. Completely smooth and standing at attention.

“It’s okay. Just be cool,” Zach said. He slipped his T-shirt over his head and kicked his dirty clothes aside.

“Zach!”

“Up here, Mom.”

Zach opened his top dresser drawer and tossed a clean pair of briefs to Lucas, who sat frozen in place.

The underwear hit him square in the face before he realized he was supposed to catch it.

“You can clean up in my bathroom,” he said in a hushed voice, nodding toward the bathroom door.

Lucas made it behind the safety of the closed door just in time. Zach’s mom entered the bedroom, and he could hear their conversation clearly.

“Where’s your friend?” she said in a cool tone.

“He’s in the bathroom.”

“What are you two doing up here?”

“You’re home early. Is everything okay?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“I’m not. We’re just hanging out.”

“Mhm. You can hang out downstairs.”

Lucas could hear it in her voice. She wasn’t buying it. He could feel the tension between her and Zach, even from behind the door.

“Tell your friend he can come out now.”

Lucas ran over to the sink and turned on the faucet, hoping to convince her that he was in fact using the bathroom. He quickly changed into Zach’s underwear, which didn’t fit him properly but were dry. There was a small spot on his pants, but his shirt hung low enough to cover it. He glanced around, looking for a place to hide his soiled shorts. Nothing. For a messy guy, Zach’s bathroom was maddeningly tidy. Lucas tossed his boxers behind the shower curtain, then washed his hands and waited quietly by the door for his cue to reenter the bedroom.

Chapter Seventeen
Family Matters

T
HE
knock on the door startled him.

“Lucas?”

Lucas opened the door a crack and peeked out.

“It’s okay. You can come out.”

“Where’s your mom?”

“She’s downstairs.”

Zach hooked his finger in the neck of Lucas’s shirt, pulling him into the room.

“Is she mad?”

“She’s always mad,” he said. “Don’t worry. Come here.”

Zach squished him into a hug.

“Maybe I should go,” Lucas said softly, feeling unsure of himself.

“No, stay. Please.”

Lucas nodded, his head tucked under Zach’s chin.

Zach led him back to the bed, where he adjusted the pillows and hopped up before resting against the headboard. He patted the space next to him.

Lucas hesitated. “Maybe we should go downstairs. Your mom….”

“Come here,” Zach said, patting the bed again, as if he were coaxing a nervous puppy.

Lucas climbed up and sat next to him.

“I’m eighteen years old. She needs to stop pretending I’m a kid.”

“I know, but you don’t need me making trouble for you.”

“What I need right now,” he said, drawing Lucas close, “is to cuddle with my boyfriend.”

Boyfriend? The word made Lucas’s heart soar.

“She’s just being a bitch,” said Zach.

Lucas peered at the door, which sat ajar.

“Relax. It’s okay. She just….” Zach trailed off, searching for the right words.

“Doesn’t approve?”

“Yeah. I mean, she knows I’m gay. She says she’s accepted it, but she kinda freaks out if I say or do anything to remind her of it. She doesn’t want people to know. Most of the time she acts like she doesn’t know either. It’s bullshit.”

“Is that why you’re not out at school?”

“I guess that’s part of it. Or it used to be, anyway. I don’t like people in my business. I never had a reason to come out until now.”

“So you don’t care if people at school know about us?”

“No. I just hope the guys on the team are cool about it. But even if they’re not, I’ll deal with it.”

Lucas didn’t say what he thinking, but he was worried too. Mostly about the guys giving Mason a hard time.

“I’m sure they will be,” Lucas said. “I mean, you’re the best swimmer they’ve got.”

Zach chuckled. “Best flyer, maybe.”

“You never know. There might be someone else on the team who’s gay too. I think David Shelby might be.”

“What?” Zach said, sounding startled. “Why do you think that?”

“Just something Donovan said. I don’t know if it’s true or not. Are you friends with him?”

“No. I’m not. I don’t have that many friends. I’ve got the only person I need right here.” He squeezed Lucas tighter.

They lay like that for a few minutes, and then Zach said, “We never finished our Q&A. I think it’s your turn to pick a question.”

Lucas rested his hand over Zach’s pocket. “You changed your pants.”

“You’re right. And I don’t feel like moving. I’ll pick.” Zach wriggled his hand into Lucas’s pocket and secured a slip of paper. He groaned when he read the question. “Why did you break up with your last boyfriend?”

Lucas bit his lip. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“It’s okay. I’ll answer.” Zach sighed. “I didn’t break up with him. He broke up with me.”

Lucas couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to break up with Zach. Zach was perfect. He wanted to ask why but was afraid of overstepping. Was it someone Lucas knew? How long ago had they broken up? What was he like? Was he anything like Lucas?

“I’ll tell you about it some other time if you really want to know. I don’t want to spoil the mood right now.”

“Okay. Ask me one of yours.”

“Are you closer to your mom or your dad?”

“You’d think that would be an easy one, wouldn’t you? I don’t know.” Lucas thought for a moment. “When I was younger, my mom was my best friend. She made me feel special, you know? I mean, she made me feel good about myself. Mason always wanted to go outside and play with his friends, but I always wanted to stay with my mom. If she was busy, she’d give me paper and tell me to write a poem. I’m sure you can imagine how awful those poems were, but she always told me she loved them. She hung them on the fridge.”

“Do you still have them? I bet they’re awesome.”

“No, they were ridiculous.
My mom is nice, like pork fried rice.”

They both laughed.

“I was so used to thinking in rhyme, I probably damaged my brain at some point. I had an imaginary friend named LundoChundoFlundoBundo.”

Zach snickered.

“I’m not even joking. That was his name.”

Zach leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the nose.

“But it’s different now. We’re not really close anymore.”

“Because you’re gay?”

“No. I don’t think so. I mean, I think she’s always known that. Or at least it didn’t come as a surprise. Things changed around middle school. She started pushing me away. I guess she didn’t want me to be so clingy, you know? She wanted me to be more independent. She kept telling me to act a certain way—a different way—so I would make friends. So people would like me better. That hurt, you know? I felt like I wasn’t good enough anymore.”

Zach held him tighter. “Have you talked to her about it?”

“Sort of. She just doesn’t get it. She’s not like me. She’s always been a social butterfly. She’ll walk up to anyone and just start talking. Everyone likes her. I know she thinks I could be like that too if I tried harder, but I’m not wired that way. She doesn’t understand how hard it is, how my mind just takes a vacation whenever I’m put on the spot. Or sometimes I have the opposite problem. I’ll be listening to someone talk and my mind kicks into overdrive, thoughts streaming left and right, and before I know it, I realize I haven’t heard a word the person said. I don’t do it on purpose.”

“I get it. I’m more of an introvert myself. I spend a lot of time thinking about things too.”

“Yeah, but at least you’re well adjusted.”

Zach laughed. “What makes you say that? I’ve got my share of hang-ups too.”

“Like what?”

“Well… my dad left when I was thirteen. It was around the same time I realized I was attracted to boys. I felt so ashamed and guilty. I thought I’d driven him away, that he’d somehow found out and didn’t want me anymore. I broke down one night and told my mom. I told her how sorry I was and begged her to make him come back.”

“What did she say?”

Zach was quiet for some time, then said, “She told me it was too late.”

“But she told you it wasn’t your fault, right?”

“No. She just said it was too late. She told me not to tell anyone else I was gay, or they’d turn against me too.”

“What?” Lucas sat up. “It wasn’t your fault. Even if he did think you were gay—and really, how would he know? You don’t act gay. But even if he did know, that’s no reason for him to leave your mom. I’m sure that wasn’t the reason. What did your dad say?”

“Nothing. I only saw him a few times after that. He came around less and less, and then not at all.”

“Do you know where he is?”

“No. And I don’t want to.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What about your dad? You never finished answering your question.”

“Oh. Yeah. Well, as long as we’re pouring our hearts out….” Lucas let out a nervous laugh and plopped back down on the pillow. “There’s not a whole lot to tell. We don’t have much in common, and he’s quiet like me, so we’re not real close. It bothers me sometimes that he does so much with Mason and not me, but I sort of understand it. I mean, if I wanted to play sports or help him tinker in the garage, I think he’d be happy to include me.”

“Yeah, but he’s your dad. He’s supposed to support
your
interests, not the other way around.”

“I guess.” Lucas shrugged. “He doesn’t really like me playing piano, though.”

“Really?” Zach seemed surprised. “Why not?”

“I don’t know. It’s too girly, I guess.”

“That’s crazy. You’re so talented. Like it’s not even a choice, but a calling.”

Lucas smiled. He loved that Zach admired his music. It was a huge part of his life. To separate the two would be heartbreaking.

“How does he feel about you being gay?”

“That’s a mystery. Like I said, he doesn’t say much. The funny thing is, though, he seems to understand how I’m feeling sometimes, more so than my mom does. It’s weird, ’cause my mom should be the sympathetic one, right?”

Zach snorted. “You’re asking the wrong guy. My mom’s a bitch pretty much all the time.”

“Sorry.”

Lucas wanted to kick himself for complaining about his parents. After hearing about Zach’s family, Zach probably thought he was a brat.

“Not your fault. You’re lucky you have two parents who love you.”

“I know. I know they love me, I just wish they loved
me
, you know?”

“C’mere,” Zach said.

Lucas nestled his head against Zach’s chest.

“I like this,” Zach said.

Lucas smiled. He’d never been so happy.

They snuggled for a few more minutes, and then Zach said, “I think we’re down to our last round of questions. Let’s see….”

Zach dug into Lucas’s pocket again.

Lucas struggled to remain calm. He reminded himself that Zach’s mom was still in the house. If she were gone, things would surely heat up again quickly.

Zach smiled as he read Lucas’s last question. “When did you first realize you liked me?”

Lucas was originally going to ask “What do you like about me?” but decided that would sound too much like he was fishing for compliments. And his painful encounter with Donovan was still too close to the surface to revisit so soon.

“Well, I’ve always
liked
you. But you mean liked you in more than a friendly way, right?”

Lucas nodded into Zach’s chest.

“The first week of school. I was having a particularly bad day—I skipped swim practice.”

“You? Skipped practice?”

“I know, right? Only time all year. I couldn’t handle it that day. Anyway, I was walking past the music room after school, and the doors were open, so I kinda stood there in the doorway and looked in. I don’t even know why. I was looking for a distraction, I guess. You were there, sitting at the piano, and a bunch of other kids were there too. The teacher introduced you, telling everyone if they worked hard and practiced every day, they’d be able to play whatever it was you were about to play by the end of the year.”