Planning on Forever (12 page)

Like
he can read my mind, he leans in and rests his lips on mine; nothing hot and
heavy, just a nice soft kiss.

Smiling
against my lips, he lets out a cute chuckle.

“Is
there something funny?” I ask.

“I
like you,” he whispers, his lips still inches from mine.

Not
being able to control my raging hormones anymore, I take matters into my own
hands, and press firmly into his lips, kissing him long and hard. Kissing me
back, he opens his mouth, greeting my tongue with his. Nolan leans forward,
pushing me back into the couch. Moving his hand from my leg, he slowly slides
it up my side, stopping just underneath my breast. Needing to feel his body
that I’ve been yearning to touch, I slide my hands up underneath his shirt. My
body instantly melts feeling his smooth, rock hard abs.
God, he’s freaking
hot
.

Feeling
the pulse between my legs start to quicken, I begin rocking my hips, needing to
feel more friction from his body. Understanding my desire, he presses closer,
removing any space between us. Moving his hand up over my breast, Nolan begins
tweaking my already hard nipple with his fingers. Moaning in pleasure against
his lips, he removes his mouth from mine, and begins trailing wet kisses down
my neck, over my chest, and onto my breast. Teasing my nipple through my dress,
he sends a shock of pleasure down my body.

“Oh
god, Nolan,” I moan, loving the way my body responds to his.

All
of a sudden, like someone poured ice water over his head, he comes to a screeching
halt, pulling away from my body. Confused by his immediate stop, I whisper, “Is
everything okay?”

Nolan
chuckles and looks up at me, putting one hand on my cheek. “Everything is
great…
You
are great.”

Standing
up in front of me, he reaches for my hands, and pulls me up to him. Crushing me
into his chest, he kisses my forehead. “Doll, I like you…I like you a lot, and
trust me, I want you, badly, but not like this, not this fast.” He pauses and
kisses me, holding his lips on mine for a minute. “I want to take you out on a
date. I want to do this right. If that's okay with you?”

Although
I said I needed to be single and be independent, this man makes me feel things
that I’ve never felt before. I’ve never wanted someone so much, and so fast
like I do him. Biting my lip, trying to hold in my excitement, I reply, “I
would love it.”

– COLLIN –

Although
Summer is hot as hell, and the way her ass grinds up on me would normally send
my sex drive in overdrive, I’m just not feeling it; I mean yeah, I’m
feeling
it, but I’m just not into it. My mind is elsewhere. My mind is with Alexa, in a
club, grinding her ass up on someone else’s cock.

Feeling
sick to my stomach, I excuse myself, and bolt for the bathroom. Splashing water
on my face, I try to wash the thought from my head. Standing there, staring in
the mirror, I wonder if this is just as hard for Alexa? If this whole image she
is trying to portray is just an act; masking the way she really feels inside.
That’s what I’m doing, isn’t it? How I wish I could just hit a do-over button;
I’d never have hooked up with Nicole, and I’d never had taken what Alexa and I
had for granted. Even though I told her that I’d give her space, I need to know
for sure. I need to know if she feels the same way. There’s no a chance in hell
I’ll be able to function if there’s a possibility she’s just as miserable as
me. If that’s the case, we can somehow find a way to move forward, and work
this out, and forget the trying to make each other jealous bullshit.

Looking
at my watch, it’s almost one thirty in the morning, the bars close at two. If
I’m going to catch her before she leaves, we need to go now. I head towards the
bar where Matt and Travis are talking to some girls.

“There's
my dude...Bro, I got a hottie I want you to meet,” Travis slurs as I approach
them.

“You
guys about ready? I wanna try and get to that new club before it closes.”

I
ignore the girls they’re talking to, assuming that one probably has been picked
out for me. Matt arches his eyebrow knowing where I’m going with this.

“You
sure about that, buddy?” he asks, looking skeptical.

Travis,
being oblivious to the situation, chimes in. “Yo, my dude… We're goin' back to
my place. We have enough to go around,” he adds, winking at me.

I
look at Matt with pleading eyes. I need to do this.

“Yo,
Trav. Why don't you bring your girls with us to the new club, I want to check
it out, too,” Matt says, having my back.

I
can tell he isn't very thrilled about it, but he knows when I’m serious, so he
plays along.

“Alright,
dude, I'm in. I hear they have couches over there.” Travis says, winking at the
girl he’s groping.

Since
the club is just down the street, we decide to walk. Being that it’s so late,
there's no line, so we walk right in. The place is packed with drunk people. I
start moving through the crowd, on a mission to find my girl. Just when I’m
about to lose my mind, I spot Amanda on the dance floor, dancing with some kid
covered in tattoos. On a mission, I push through the bodies noticing a look of
panic on her face when she sees me. She looks around frantically; trying to
find someone…Alexa.

“Where
is she? I need to talk to her!” I yell into her ear, so she can hear me over
the music.

“I...I
don't know...She is with, um
–
”

“What
the hell are you doing here?” Amanda is cut off by a very mad looking Alexa
standing next to me.

Ignoring
her angry tone, I reach out and grab her, crushing her to my chest in a
desperate hug. Feeling her in my arms is heaven; smelling her sweet vanilla
scent gives me butterflies in my stomach. God, I’ve missed this girl.

My
moment of bliss is quickly interrupted when she pushes me off of her. “What are
you doing, Collin?”

“Why
are
you
here? This isn't you,” I say, motioning to the club around us.

“Collin,
you need to leave. You shouldn't be here.”

“Why?
Tell me you don't love me. Tell me you don't miss me. If you can look me in the
eyes and tell me this, I'll be gone, Alexa.”

Please
don't tell me this, please tell me you feel the same way.

She
exhales, looking defeated. She feels it. I knew it! Looking me in the eyes she
says, “It doesn't matter anymore...I'm sorry, Collin.”

Grabbing
Amanda's hand, she starts for the exit where Nicole is waiting for them. Just
like that, she is gone...again.

– ALEXA –

“What
was that all about?” Nicole asks as Amanda and I meet up with her at the exit.

Before
answering, I exhale the breath that I didn’t know I was holding, thanking god
that Nolan wasn't here to witness that. I had just kissed him goodnight not
even two minutes before seeing Collin. Apparently he works for his sister, and
helps her close up the club. I just about lost it when I spotted Collin talking
to Amanda.

“I
have no frickin’ clue. I don't even know how he knew I was here,” I continue.

Shocked
to see Collin standing in front of me, I didn't know what to say when he asked
me if I loved and missed him. Sure I love him, I just spent the last three
weeks in a deep depression missing him every second of the day, but truthfully,
after tonight, I don't think I’m
in
love with him. I just spent the
entire night swooning over Nolan, and wanting to do things to him that I never
imagined doing to anyone again. So, do I miss Collin right now, I don’t think
so.

I
can’t get Nolan out of my head. Everything with Nolan feels different, and
exciting. Does it make me question what I had with Collin? Definitely. For so
long, I thought Collin was the one for me, that he was my forever. But seeing
how my heart and body responds to Nolan...it makes me believe that Collin was
just my intro to love; like an appetizer before the real thing. Do I think
Nolan is the love of my life? I have no clue–we just met. But, what I do know
is Nolan makes me feel things that I’ve never felt before, and I’m just not
going to let it slip out from under my fingers.

The
attraction Nolan and I share for each other is intoxicating and addictive.
Every time I see him, I mentally undress him; fantasize what those big hands
can do to me, and what his tongue would feel like all over my skin. He has this
certain roughness to him that excites me and leaves me wanting more. I still
love Collin, I really do, but I can’t ignore my feelings for Nolan. It’s crazy,
but true.

Drained
from the previous night, I spend most of the next day sleeping. So much
happened that I can barely wrap my head around it. Somewhere in between Amanda
pulling me out of my pity party two days ago, and now, I’ve gotten over Collin,
and am crushing hard on someone new. Not to mention, I’ve got this overwhelming
urge to call Nolan. We exchanged numbers before leaving last night, and I want
so badly to hear his husky voice. Before I left he said he’d be in touch; I
wanted to ask how long that meant, but didn’t want to sound obsessive, even
though I’m kind of obsessed with him already.

I
can’t get enough of Nolan; I crave him.

Instead
of driving myself crazy, I jump in the shower to calm my hormonal body. After
only a couple of minutes, my mom peaks her head in the door. “Honey, you have a
surprise waiting for you in the kitchen when you're done.”

A
surprise? My birthday was yesterday.

“What
is it?” I ask, wanting to know what it is now. I’m not a very patient person.

“Just
come out when you’re done, sweetie,” mom replies, shutting the door.

Eager
to know what it is, I hurry through the rest of my shower; I think I may have
hit a world record for the quickest shower, at least for me. Throwing my hair
up in a towel and putting my robe on, I rush out towards the kitchen. Turning
the corner, I see a huge bouquet of roses sitting on the center island. Oh my
god, they’re beautiful! There has to be at least three dozen roses!

“I
see you had a good night last night. You want to tell me who Nolan is?” my
mother asks with a raised eyebrow.