Plain Wisdom (24 page)

So writing sounds like a good career choice for me, right?

Yet after my books appeared on several bestseller lists, I found myself thrust in front of cameras and microphones, including some national media. If that wasn’t enough against my natural grain, I felt I should accept some of the invitations to speak at churches.

At this point you should feel sorry for my husband, who loves my quiet temperament, especially during football and baseball season. But if
I can’t sleep because of an upcoming interview or speaking engagement, or if I’m walking around mumbling to myself because I’m displeased with how an interview went, he’s the one who has to deal with my angst and try to help me through it.

Whether you’re introverted or extroverted, being challenged is part of life. Following God wherever He leads is the only path to true success. How we look, feel, or sound while following Him has nothing at all to do with success. All He asks is that we follow as He leads and leave the results up to Him.

T
HE
S
HAPE OF
T
OMORROW

M
y youngest son and I had visited the Flauds several times before my husband went with us. I knew Miriam’s husband and mine would have a lot to talk about. In spite of their numerous differences, Daniel and Tommy have a good bit in common—both know about construction, farming, and raising sons.

Daniel’s family trade is timber framing, an intricate skill of taking square timbers and building a frame in a way that supports an entire building without nails, bolts, or screws. Instead, wooden pegs are driven into tightly fitted joints. This is part of the Old Ways the Amish fathers have passed on to their apprenticing sons for generations, begun before nails, screws, and bolts were easily accessible and affordable through mass production. Timber framing is used for houses, barns, and even modern office buildings. It’s been said that timber framing is as strong as a steel structure.

For the Amish, getting older means more honor and less work. Daniel’s father now lives in a Daadi Haus (grandfather house) next to Daniel and Miriam. A Daadi Haus may be attached to the main house belonging to one of the adult children, or it may be a small home near the main house. A grandfather house is usually much smaller than the home the
couple had when they were raising children, which makes it easier to clean.

Many Daadi Hauses have been passed down for generations. If there’s not one already in the family, then after the children have families of their own, they build separate living quarters for the grandparents. The homes usually have kitchens so the grandparents can prepare their own food. The grandparents are close enough to join the others for a family meal, but they enjoy running their home and preparing their own meals.

The Amish appreciate the need for families to have their own space, but the elderly are highly respected, and they ease into retirement by carrying less responsibility without giving up all work-related duties. Some Amish never retire. They simply have a shorter workday. When an aging parent needs help, the younger generation lives close enough to lend a hand while tending to their own families.

Regardless of how some feel about living such a unique life, the wisdom and grit to change only when necessary—and never for the sake of convenience, entertainment, or ease of living—has equipped the Plain people to hold on to a lifestyle they believe in. Generation after generation, young people have decided to keep the Old Ways. While Englischers sit in classrooms through high school and sometimes college, young Amish men and women are working as full-time apprentices for employers who try to avoid ever having to lay them off or fire them. They remain focused on family, working in or taking over the family business, starting a family of their own, and eventually moving into a Daadi Haus of their own.

My mother-in-law and father-in-law live in the Daadi Haus next to us. I can prepare this simple recipe for them while cooking a meal for my family, or Mammi (pronounced “mommy”) Flaud can easily fix this for the two of them.

The recipe on the following page is often used if older parents haven’t been eating much but need some sustenance. I take this same recipe to new moms; it’s delicious and high in protein.

The clock ticked loudly as I sat in our one-room school, observing the class. The students worked quietly as the teacher juggled all eight grades at once.

I had just served them all a hot lunch. The mothers had been taking turns bringing in hot meals once a week during January, February, and March to help ward off the winter blues. We did this as much for the teacher as for the children.

As I settled into my chair for an hour of relaxation, the teacher brought me her guest book, a large spiral notebook that all visitors were asked to sign. It was filled with artwork done by the students along with an introduction sheet for each child, describing who their parents, grandparents, and siblings were, their favorite subjects, and their favorite foods. The book also revealed what the students wanted to be when they grew up. One boy planned to be a fireman, another a policeman. Most wanted to be farmers or carpenters like their dads.

Most of the girls wanted to be teachers. A few hoped to tend a market
stand. One little girl wrote that all she wanted to do was be a mother. That caught me off guard. Tears blurred my vision as I remembered something I’d read once:

There is only one emotion greater than the love of a mother for her newborn. That’s the love God has for us, His children. Can anyone, even mothers, begin to comprehend such a great love? A mother’s love protects her children. God’s love
gave
His only Son to die. If you ever feel as if no one appreciates you or as if you are being taken for granted, think about how deeply you love your children.

Then imagine God loving you more deeply, more powerfully, perfectly—because He does.

One of my books,
The Hope of Refuge
, shares the story of several moms—their strengths, weaknesses, joys, and sorrows. I dedicated the book to my children because each one woke a different part of me, even before I felt him move inside me. When I held each son in my arms, it seemed my very DNA shifted. Without conscious effort each one stirred me with a challenge to be his mom—to become more than I ever was before.

I found strength where weakness had once been. As they grew, they stumbled on weaknesses of mine I hadn’t known existed. But because of them and the love I had for them, I discovered that life had unexpected joy. And I learned that where I ended—where my strength, wisdom, and determination failed—God did not.

It’s hard to know the best choices to make on a child’s behalf—much
less to muster the energy, means, and desire to carry out whatever seems to be best. While struggling under the load of everything I was unable to give my children, I learned an important truth: if parents could give their children all that their hearts desire—if we could fill every need they have—they wouldn’t need God.

Parents are simply grown-up children. Our powers are limited. But through our faith and prayers, God can fill every gap. And in the process, our children will grow in their own relationships with Him. But while all that is taking place, we get the pleasure of watching them grow and learn and become their own person.

From the time my boys were little, I loved doing crafts with them during the holidays. I’d pull out all sorts of items I’d picked up from yard sales or bought on sale throughout the year and let them create. The mess was well worth it when they excitedly held up their masterpieces. As they grew older, their interest in doing crafts began to fade, but I held on to my Christmastime tradition as long as I could.