Pirate Princess (44 page)

He closed the distance between us and looked down into my eyes as he waited for a response. I wanted to accept him back, but he had hurt me immensely. “I don’t know,” I told him. “I just…”

He dropped down to his knees and wrapped his arms around me as he pressed the side of his head to my stomach. “Don’t leave me,” he whispered, “Please Tilia, I can’t lose you.”

Part of me wanted to tell him that he should have thought about that before he left me, but the other part wanted to be with him again. “You left me with the intention of never seeing me again,” I whispered as tears threatened to fall, “You made me feel like I was unlovable. You made me think that I wasn’t good enough.”

He looked up at me while still holding my waist. “It wasn’t you who wasn’t good enough, it was me. I may have tried to act like I would never see you again, but I couldn’t have kept my distance. I would have come to you by now. I would have traveled to Blith if that was where you were. Please, Tilia. Just give me another chance. I’m begging you.”

I didn’t like seeing him on his knees in front of me, begging, but I was so torn.

“
If
I give you another chance and you hurt me again that will be it for us. I will never see you again after that. I will never even mention your name or events that transpired with you. I can’t open myself up to loving you again just to have my heart broken and then you expect another chance. You can’t make decisions for me just because you think it is what is best. I am more than capable of making my own decisions. I barely survived this, Finn. I don’t even know if all of me truly survived this past month.”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you,” he whispered, “That is the last thing that I would ever want to do.” He lifted my hand up to his lips and kissed my knuckles.

My heart fluttered and my breathing quickened. I couldn’t stay away from him. Just the thought of watching him sail away without us repairing our relationship hurt more than I wanted to admit. I took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. “Finn, to be honest, I haven’t stopped loving you or thinking about you or wanting you. I was just too hurt and embarrassed to admit it.”

He stood up, kissed me deeply, and then whispered, “You should never be embarrassed about anything with me, especially about loving me.”

I kissed him again and then realized I was crying. He wiped the tears and then pulled me into a tight hug as I cried and let out my emotions. I held on to him and let it all out.

Eventually the tears stopped and happiness slowly began to replace it. He had moved us to the bed and he held me in his arms. Finally, something wonderful had happened and I was never going to let it go again. “Tilia, I love you so much,” he whispered.

“I love you too, Finley.”

He stood up, walked to his treasures and then walked back to me with the ring he had given me. The one I had returned when he was preparing to leave me in Crilan. “Will you wear this again?” he asked. I nodded my head and he slipped it on my finger.

* * *

Word spread quickly about Crilan destroying and killing Trian’s Capitol and their king for kidnapping Crilan’s princess. Every kingdom that had sided with Trian about the pirates contacted Crilan to express their ignorance to the plan and that they would never side against Crilan.

I sat with Finn in the fields near the town his crew and my father’s had built and asked, “Now that pirates aren’t targets, will you go back?”

He slipped his fingers between mine and said, “No, my home is here and I won’t destroy it just for a few more years of pirating.”

“I don’t want to hold you back,” I said sincerely, “relationships like that do not last.”

“This decision is mine and I know I won’t regret it. I told you that I can’t be a good captain without you and I meant it.”

We watched the sun set and then he followed me to where Duke was tethered. “Will I see you soon?” I asked him. I knew there was still a lot to do to fix the town.

He kissed me and whispered, “I will see you tomorrow because even that is too long of a wait to see you again. If it were up to me you would be living here and sleeping with me.”

I smirked and said, “We just got back together. I think it’s a bit early for you to assume I would sleep with you.”

He smirked back at me and kissed me tenderly on the lips. “I love you.”

Duke trotted his way back home while I ruminated over the past few months and all of the events that had transpired in my life. My simple, boring princess life with the occasional Jax event had been transformed by a pirate who stole my necklace and then my heart. I had almost died a few times and been kidnapped a few times as well. Not a perfect few months, but being able to live near Finn was worth it all in the end. And being near my dad of course, can’t forget about him!

Duke trotted to the stables and I handed the reins to one of the stable boys. I was about to head inside when I heard the sound of swords clashing together and shuffling feet. I walked to the arena, climbed up on top of the fence and sat down to watch whoever was fighting. It turned out to be Esmeralda and Jared. I watched as they sparred and was amazed at how much better Esmeralda had become with her sword fighting abilities. After a few more minutes she backed away and held up her hand, her chest rising and falling rapidly from exertion.

“You’ve improved a lot,” I called down to her.

They both turned and looked up at me and she asked, “How long have you been there?”

“Just a few minutes.”

They put their swords away and I hopped down to face them. Jared looked at me a minute and said, “You need to start training again in fighting and magic. You have lost some of your muscle definition in your arms.”

“I know. I was lazy and didn’t work out at all the past month,” I admitted. I hadn’t done anything that month while I mourned the loss of Finn and our relationship. Now that was just a memory, shoved into the recesses of my mind by Finn’s presence.

We walked to the dining room together to eat. Faxon was off on some mysterious trip and would not be back for a few days so it was just the three of us together.

“We need to set up some ground rules now that Finn and your father are living nearby,” Esmeralda informed me. “We don’t have a problem with you visiting them often or with them visiting you, but you have duties and obligations to uphold. You need to continue your training and we want you to become more involved in the events and issues in the kingdom now that you’re an adult.”

“Okay,” I said with a nod of my head. I had assumed she would bring it up soon so I had been prepared to discuss it.

“We also want to start visiting the other Kingdoms more frequently,” Jared said, “We need to make sure that we keep peace between us all and assure them that we are allies and not after their territories. After what just happened I doubt they will be even considering an attack or an assassination attempt.”

“I doubt they will consider anything of the sort for a decade at least,” I said with a laugh. “Esmeralda disintegrated a castle and you slaughtered all of his military except for a handful. Anyone who might consider us weak now has hit their heads a few too many times.”

Esmeralda frowned and said, “It’s not good to be overly arrogant or boastful,” she reprimanded me.

Jared smirked and bit into a roll to hide it from her.

“Discussing events as they happened is not being overly arrogant,” I reminded her, “Plus I think I have a right to be boastful about my family rescuing me from a King who thought he could do whatever he wanted without reprimand. It reminds everyone that there are limits to their powers and royalty has them even though they seem untouchable.”

“We have our limits as well,” she said.

Jared sighed. “You see how depressing she makes winning a battle? She’s been doing this to me for as long as I have known her. We destroyed the Kingdom of Blith and the only reason they still stand at all is because of how merciful we are. It is good for everyone to have a reminder of our strength because it will keep them from attempting anything like this for a very long time just like Tilia said.”

“Overconfidence causes you to become soft and you end up losing a battle because you think you’ve won before you have tried,” She said.

“I’ve never lost a battle,” he said smugly with a smirk, “And yet I continue to revel in the awesomeness that we are.”

I giggled and she looked at me and said, “Don’t aid his already giant ego.”

“I can’t help how pathetic other people are in comparison with us,” he said with a shrug. “And it’s rude to try to fluff them up and pat them on the head for being so weak. They should look at us and want to become stronger and better.”

“You two have always made me want to improve myself,” I agreed with him.

“Not helping,” she muttered.

“See, she just proved my point for me.”

“It makes us look even better if we don’t brag about ourselves! A humble person receives more honor and respect than a braggadocios one!” she snapped at him.

“If I lose respect for bragging about slaughtering an entire military single handedly then those people will give me more respect when they see it firsthand if they try to test me.”

“You’re upset aren’t you?” I asked him with a sudden realization. “You’re mad because it wasn’t a big enough battle and ended too quickly.”

He folded his arms across his chest and said, “How did he keep his kingdom with such a small military? We should have attacked him years ago and taken his kingdom from him for ourselves.”

Esmeralda laughed and said, “We can’t go taking over kingdoms just because you’re itching for a fight.”

“Why not?” he asked grumpily, like a spoiled child wanting another cookie. “We could easily take over Blith and run it without living in that kingdom.”

“They are our allies and we are not going to take over anymore kingdoms,” she said absolutely.

“Spoilsport,” he muttered.

“Speaking of Blith,” Esmeralda said to me, “We received a letter for you from the Prince.”

“For me?” I asked in shock.

She walked out of the room and came back with a creamy white envelope with a red seal holding it closed. I took it from her and was shocked at how soft it was. “Isn’t this the type of envelope you deliver royal invitations for balls and such in?” I asked her.

She nodded her head. “Yes, but I’m not aware of any event coming up that the invitation might be for. Plus, it is only addressed to you and not to all of us so I don’t think it is an invitation.”

What could he want? Maybe it was just an apology for his parents’ behavior or maybe he was upset that the plan to kill me hadn’t worked? I started to open it, but I didn’t want to read it in front of Esmeralda and Jared in case it was the latter of the possibilities because they would be upset and Jared would want to start a war.

“Well, I’m going to head to bed and I suppose I’ll see what Prince Samson wants,” I grumbled to them.

“Good night,” Esmeralda said.

“We start training tomorrow morning,” Jared informed me.

“Yes, sir,” I called back. I walked up to my room and ran my finger over the seal. It was one of the oddest seals which featured only a flower and a B. Most were only symbols, but theirs was different.

I walked up the stairs to my room, changed clothes and then sat on my bed with the envelope in my hand. It was just a letter, I reminded myself, and it can’t hurt me. I put my finger under the flap and pulled it towards me to break the seal. I started to open it, but then chickened out and set it on my dresser unopened.

The next morning I practiced with Jared, but my mind was too distracted to focus on our fight. He cut me two times and then put his sword away. “What has you so distracted?” he asked me sternly.

“I’m sorry. It’s just the envelope from Samson,” I admitted.

“What did it say?” he asked, his face steely as he prepared for trouble.

“I didn’t read it,” I said with a sigh, “I got scared and set it aside.”

“Read it and then we can deal with what it says afterwards,” he assured me. “It’s just words on paper and he is across the sea so there is no danger to you. Plus, if he says anything impolite you can wait until we visit them and punch him right in the face for it. I’ll make sure to hold Esmeralda so you can do it before she stops you.”

I smiled at him and said, “You always know just what to say.”

He smirked. “It’s a gift some men have.”

I put my sword away and headed to my room. I just needed to get it over with so I could deal with whatever it was and at least I would know. I took a deep breath and opened the envelope, pulled out the letter and unfolded it. I sat on my bed and reprimanded myself for being afraid of a piece of paper. The writing was elegant and it was clearly a letter and not an invitation to an event, although I wasn’t sure if that was truly any better.

Dear Tilia,

I must apologize for the unfortunate circumstances in which we had our first formal introduction. My father is very old minded and I fear he made decisions without consulting me that could possibly ruin the peace and alliance we worked so hard to attain with Crilan. I must assure you that I had no idea or notion that this dastardly plan was happening.

I would have stopped it if I had been able to and I have taken it upon myself to increase my training and knowledge to better be able to handle future situations.

I am glad that waking Eric allowed him to contact the King and Queen and that they were able to rescue you before any harm fell upon you. My father has shamed our kingdom and I must try my hardest to repair our former place as your allies. Eric contacted me to let me know that you were rescued safely and I was filled with relief at this news.

Your bravery and conviction to your beliefs when you spoke to King Priam was remarkable. I have never met a woman so extraordinary in any of my journeys to the other Kingdoms. You are truly one of a kind and I feel privileged to have at least witnessed the unfolding of what ended well. Your striking beauty and fiery spirit show in the glow and fire in your eyes when you speak and I felt myself drawn to you in those moments.