Pieces of Summer (A stand-alone novel) (14 page)

Chapter 27

CHASE

Mika’s couch is great, but I’m sick of sleeping on it. No way am I sleeping in her dad’s room. No way am I sleeping in Aidan’s room either. I miss the days we’d curl up on a blanket in the sunroom and sleep the night away.

The floor wouldn’t be as nice to my adult body as it was my teenage one, but just the thought of holding her in that room…

So much for closure. I feel like I’m sinking all over again. I don’t even know why I bother fighting it anymore. Mika isn’t ready to give up the fight though. Can’t say I blame her.

It’s early as fuck and I’m wide awake with the boner from hell. Mika spent the night hugging me like she hasn’t had affection in years, and I spent the night in pain. As much as I love her touching me like she’s missed the feeling, the fact she’s not pushing for more is painful, considering my dick refuses to understand she just wants to be friends.

Reaching over, I grab some of her girly lotion from the small table, and decide to take matters into my own hands. Maybe I can get some more sleep and get rid of the urge to hump the fucking couch like a horny teenager.

After checking the room, I push my boxers off, and close my lotion-covered hand over my cock, pumping up and down and imagining it’s Mika riding me the way she used to.

Only I imagine her now, with her curves and long hair.

With each pump of my hand, I picture the way her eyelids would grow heavy and the way her lips would part to breathe my name. And her green eyes… She’d always stare directly into my eyes as I came, and then she’d work for her own release, because I had no fucking clue what I was doing back then.

Her mouth… Fuck I loved her mouth. She was my first everything—first kiss, first blowjob, first hand job, first fuck… Only love. And I stared into those green eyes every time I could keep my own eyes open.

Those green eyes that are staring at me right fucking now and wide with horror as I continue pumping my cock. When the hell did she come in here?

Mika is standing at the end of the couch, and her eyes run up the length of my body as my hand stills. Her hair is ruffled from sleep, her face is fucking beautiful without any makeup, and her lips are parted just like they were in my mind.

Since I’m already caught, I start moving my hand again, watching her as she watches me. She moves closer as I pump harder, and her throat bobs as she watches like she can’t look away.

“Feel free to take over,” I whisper to her, groaning when she bites down on her bottom lip like she’s thinking it over.

My speed slows, because I’m seconds from blowing. Mika steps so close to me that I can touch her if I try, and I take in the long T-shirt she’s wearing, imagining there aren’t any panties on under it.

“Can I?” she whispers, and I start wondering if I’m fucking dreaming.

My hand shoots up to grab her at the waist, and she gasps as I tug her down on top of me. When her lips collide with mine, she moans into my mouth, and I slide my hands down her body, pulling her shirt up until I feel the thin panties covering her ass.

Her legs spread, straddling me better, and I start trying to tug her underwear to the side, desperate to get inside her.

“Chase,” she whispers against my lips, pushing her hips up and away from my cock.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Sorry,” I whisper as her forehead touches mine.

“Don’t be,” she says quietly, snaking her hand between us.

When she grabs onto my cock, a breath hisses between my lips. She leans back, watching me as she sits up completely, pumping me in her hand as my hands ride up her hips.

She grabs my hands before I can touch her stomach, and she pushes them back down, releasing my cock in the process. Since I don’t want her stopping again, I keep my hands on her hips when she resumes, unsure what boundaries she’s setting right now, since this is pretty fucking confusing.

She watches me, just like she used to watch me then. Her eyelids start getting heavy, her rhythm grows steady, and her lips part as she breathes my name just as she did in my fantasy.

“Fuck, Mika,” I groan, grabbing my boxers from the ground and covering myself just as hot pleasure shoots up my spine and I explode into the fabric. She keeps pumping as my eyes roll back in my head, and I grab her ass with one hand, fucking hating not being inside her right now.

Slowly, she pulls her hand away, and I feel her lean down until her hair lightly tickles my cheek.

“I forgot how much I love watching that,” she says before brushing her lips against mine.

“I haven’t forgotten how much I love it,” I mumble, listening to the sound of her sigh as she kisses my cheek.

My eyes stay closed as my body continues to shudder, and Mika runs her fingers over my chest, pausing when she gets to my heart. When she sucks in a sharp breath, I know she’s finally noticed one of my bald eagle tattoos.

“Right over my heart,” I tell her as I open my eyes.

She’s still straddling me, my boxers are still an absolute mess, but it doesn’t matter. I’d stay this way all day.

She traces the lines, and I watch her eyes as she memorizes every detail in front of her in the semi-lit room, thanks to the TV being on. “When did you get this?” she asks, still studying it.

“Three years ago... First day of summer.”

A sad but beautiful expression crosses her face, and she looks up to meet my eyes. “I have one on my back.”

My smile grows, but her lips thin.

“Let me see it.”

“Maybe I will, but not right now. It’s four in the morning,” she states like she’s amused.

“And you just jacked me off at four in the morning after giving me
friend
speeches all night. The least you can do is show me your eagle tat.”

She struggles to not smile, but she slides off me instead.

“I think you’ve gotten enough tonight. Maybe tomorrow I’ll show you mine… Tattoo that is.”

She winks at me before walking away, and I wait until she disappears to pinch myself pretty fucking hard. When a shot of pain shoots up my arm, I decide I’m definitely awake and Mika just had her sweet little hands all over my dick.

Summer sucks less by the day.

Chapter 28

MIKA

I’ve been around Aidan and Hunter for longer than four days and it was never an issue. Three and four. Four and three. Never an issue with them.

It’s not a habit.

Maybe it won’t be a habit for Chase either, even though I’m already chewing my thumbnail and waiting for him to call to let me know if he’s coming over tonight or not. Technically I saw him today. I saw him at four in the morning when I woke up from a really good dream and stepped into what I thought was another really good dream.

Turns out it was real, and I lost control. It felt good to lose control. I felt like the old me just doing what I wanted to without worrying about the consequences.

Screw it. I can just go to his tattoo parlor and find out if I’m seeing him later or not, and that will solve my undeniable need to see him for the day. Shit. Shit. Shit. Not good. Aidan is going to kill me if this is a habit.
I’m
going to kill me if I’ve already formed an unhealthy habit that involves having to see Chase daily.

Glancing down at my phone, I check the time. I could totally stay here. It’s not a major trigger. Can’t be. The worst that would happen is some nail chewing and possibly a few broken things. Nothing severe.

My skin starts to itch, and I fight the urge to scratch at it. My eyes close, and I try to play out a scene in my head. I need to write. I could control this scenario with a few typed words.

Grabbing my keys, I decide there’s nothing I want broken in this house. The itch is getting too strong, and the skin-crawling effect is not on my favorites’ list. I head out to my car to sate the annoying piece of my mind that refuses to agree I’ve already seen Chase today.

It doesn’t take long to reach town, but the tattoo parlor is packed with cars. I debate going in, but finally talk myself into it.

As soon as I enter, two pairs of eyes swing to me, as Chase continues buzzing away in the front room on a girl’s shoulder. There are two other men in here, so I assume those other cars must belong to the garage next door and ran out of parking space.

The itch immediately dies, and a sense of calm washes over me, shoving the irrational piece of my mind back into the corner as the world tilts back upright once again.

“You’ll need an appointment,” Chase says without looking up.

I notice his receptionist is missing, so I step in behind the counter and take a seat in her spot, just watching him as he pays incredibly close attention to what he’s doing. Just as he finishes, he looks up at me and glances away. But then his eyes immediately dart back to mine, and a slow smile spreads across his lips.

“Miss me?”

“You did leave without saying anything,” I quip, sighing dramatically.

He doesn’t have to know I’m crazy just yet. The crazy is back in a locked box at the moment.

One of the guys in the shop snorts, while the other guy winks at me. The girl in his chair, however, looks back and forth between us like she’s confused.

“Thought you just got single,” she tells him.

Jealousy really does taste like shit. In case you’re wondering.

Chase ignores her as he stands and makes his way to me, and I stand up while coming around the side of the receptionist desk. When he reaches me, he surprises me by pulling me to him and kissing me in front of everyone like he’s making a statement… or laying claim.

A couple of whistles sound out, and Chase pulls away while winking.

“Trust me. You needed that if you wanted to walk out of here without one of them asking you for your number,” he whispers.

I don’t say anything, because my lips are refusing to work with words. When did we reach the level of kissing
hello
?

“Next,” Chase says while handing the girl a bag of something. She takes it, and I stare at the shop name and logo on the bag while she frowns and looks me over.

Chasing Ink
.

In the background, there’s an eagle’s eye, and my heart swells a little bit. Things like that are the reason I’m having issues right now.

“Here’s my money,
honey
,” one of the guys chuckles as he hands Chase a small wad of cash.

When I ignore the girl long enough, she finally stops staring at me and walks out. I go back behind the counter and sit on the stool.

“I hope you shaved your hairy fucking chest so I don’t have to,” Chase tells the guy, confusing me.

“Yes, darling, I did,” the guy drawls.

Chase rolls his eyes, but he smiles over at me while walking toward the register I’m in front of. When he steps behind the counter, I swivel on my stool to give him room, and he pushes a few buttons until the register drawer pops out and he puts the money in. He also grabs a few dollars like he’s making change.

When he’s finished and shuts the drawer, he reaches over and thumbs my chin, winking at me again. “You were sleeping peacefully when I left. I have the impression you don’t do that often, so I didn’t want to wake you up just to say bye.”

Instead of saying something stupid, I just nod. At least I don’t feel like my skin is crawling anymore. I did what I had to do to silence the crazy, and now I can leave.

But I don’t.

I stay while he works tirelessly on that guy’s chest tattoo, and my eyes stay fixed on him. His intensity and focus are sexy, so is the way he shifts and moves. Never knew tattooing could be sexy.

After a couple of hours, he dabs the ink and the buzzing ceases. The guy on the chair looks down at the finished chest piece and back up to Chase.

“You’re too fucking good to be inking in this shithole town, boy. When you going to come to Montgomery?”

Chase smirks while shrugging. “Don’t know. I may or I may not. Depends on how things work out here.”

When his eyes meet mine, my mouth dries. He’s moving? Why hasn’t he told me? Big cities are strictly prohibited because of the special precautions I have to take. Only small trips are acceptable. Such as visiting Dr. Stein.

His look changes to confused when he studies me, but I look away, slipping off the stool. As the two guys talk to Chase, I tune them out, walking back to my car as my shoulders grow heavier.

This was stupid. Chase can’t be with me. I can’t be with him. This is a game of Russian roulette, but I’m the only one facing the gun with every turn. Not that Chase knows. He still thinks I’m the somewhat quirky, but otherwise normal girl from his past.

He has no idea at the hoops I have to jump through just to have a semi-normal life now. Three years ago, I finally got to start living on my own. I even celebrated something so small and insignificant to most people in their twenties.

Chase calls to me from the doorway, but I just turn and give a tight wave before getting in my car. I wish I could drive for a few hours, but I can’t do that. It’s not allowed. I’m not allowed to drive anywhere for longer than fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes exactly. Not a minute over. I can drive anything under fifteen minutes. Any longer, and it has to be someone else driving.

Shaking my head and forgetting the numbers, I back out and head back to my house, pulling out my phone as I turn into my driveway. There’s a phone call I’ve been avoiding.

Aidan hates me having a psychiatrist on call, but only because of the way Dr. Kravitz treated me. I was his favorite lab rat, and he put me on the hamster wheel like I was a science experiment instead of a person. Regardless of his cold and indifferent methods, he possibly saved my life at a much quicker rate than anyone else could have. But since I don’t need psychological boot camp anymore, I now have Dr. Stein, who is a gentle-spoken, very reserved woman who goes at the speed of a turtle with therapy sessions. It took my brother a long time to warm up to my new shrink. And even though she’s a psychiatrist, she doesn’t spoon out drugs. No drugs allowed.

“Dr. Stein’s office. This is Carol. How may I help you?”

“Carol, it’s Mika. I was wondering—”

“Mika, oh my gosh, we’ve been so worried about you. Are you okay? Did something happen? We haven’t been able to reach you or your brother.”

“I called and left my new number. I couldn’t keep my old one. The area code wouldn’t have matched the new residence.”

She grows quiet for a second. “I would have found that message, sweetie,” she says softly. “Is it possible you just think you left that message?”

It is possible, but I’d have to defer to my notes to find out for sure. Sometimes I accidentally write something in on one of my stories and confuse it for a real situation instead of the other way around like it’s intended for.

“Yes,” I say quietly.

“Okay, so I’ll patch you through to Dr. Stein. She’s been worried about you and told me to buzz her immediately if you called.”

The line goes quiet, and seconds later Dr. Stein is picking up. “Mika, it’s so good to hear from you.” The relief and warmth in her tone isn’t her typical clinical tone. It’s not allowed in her field to get too attached, but I know she’s attached to me. She hates Dr. Kravitz and his boot camp methods, and the pity she felt for what I’d suffered has made me special to her.

“Sorry I waited so long.”

“We agreed to speak regularly via phone and Skype, Mika. That was the deal, since I couldn’t find a qualified professional to deal with your particular case in that area that went with your fifteen minute driving limit.”

Blowing out a breath, I get out of the car and walk inside. We didn’t set estimated times. Just vague promises without definite timeframes.

“I know. I’m sorry. But I haven’t had any incidents at all. In fact, I accidentally dropped and broke a tray of glasses one day and I managed to pick them up and throw them away without mashing them to bits to make them the same size. I also haven’t had any issues with the bowling alley. Hunter handled it without giving me any timeframes, and I have two incredible managers who handle all the time slots, schedules, call-ins, and such. None of that gets relayed to me, just like you told me to do.”

More relief comes out in her breath, and I dread the next confession.

“I saw him. He’s not gone.”

Her breath hitches, and she clears her throat like she doesn’t want me to hear her reaction.

“Mika, I know you felt strongly about this man at one time, but don’t let your mind fool you into believing you can pick up where you left off. Emotions… They’re a trigger in your condition.”

This is why I love Dr. Stein. She doesn’t just ask me
how does that make you feel
even though she probably should.

“I’m not doing that. I wasn’t feeling like there was unfinished business between us,” I lie, but it’s not like I can be honest. She’d have Aidan remove me immediately. “I’ve killed him, married him, had his baby, and killed him some more over the years. The only thing that felt unfinished—still feels unfinished—is the bowling alley, but I don’t know why.”

She starts with the standard questions then, asking me what part feels unfinished. She goes on to ask me how I handle this feeling in a productive manner. And several other probing questions.

Finally, I get to the part I need her help on, because it’s not the bowling alley dilemma.

“I kissed him,” I whisper.

She goes deadly silent.

“He’s started staying over, but he sleeps on the couch. We haven’t had sex, so don’t worry. But I did feel like I had to see him today, and he might be moving to Montgomery.”

Montgomery is too big… There will be too many times. New York City was too hard. Too many times being displayed. Countdowns—so many fucking countdowns. Too many people talking about being late. I had to wear noise-cancelling headphones with my music cranked up to full blast—one song over and over and over and over…

“Mika, you shouldn’t have moved there so soon. This is a very tricky situation. You’re not ready for a relationship. It takes a strong sense of control at a level you haven’t mastered yet to handle a healthy relationship and your own health at the same time. Have you told him about all your rules and restrictions?”

Swallowing a lump in my throat, I sit down.

“No. He doesn’t even know anything about this part of me or the accident. He still thinks I’m the same girl I was twelve years ago.”

A harsh breath falls between her lips, and I hear her ink pen clicking furiously in the background.

“Why hasn’t your brother addressed this?”

“He’s not here currently, and this started after he left.”

“He left you alone in a new town this early?” she asks in a deceptively calm tone.

“He has a life, Dr. Stein. His sole duty isn’t to me. I’d never, ever allow that. I’d go back to boot camp hell before I let Aidan give up any piece of himself to help me. I’m handling things well.”

“You’re not handling things if you’re in a relationship with a man who isn’t aware of your restrictions and rules. Sex was once a coping mechanism for you, Mika. Just like cutting. Destructive coping mechanisms aren’t healthy and could trigger a relapse into other destructive coping mechanisms. You know this.”

With Chase, sex as a coping mechanism doesn’t sound destructive. I wouldn’t feel disgusted with myself. I’d love every second of it. But that doesn’t mean he would. Being with me means giving up a lot of things that most people overlook or take for granted.