Picking up the Pieces (3 page)

CHAPTER 4

LUKE

I knew my return to Cloverleaf wasn’t going to be met with banners and a parade in my honor, but that still didn’t prepare me for just how hard it actually was. Emmy’s hatred toward me wasn’t surprising considering how I left things between us, but that didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt. I just never stopped to think about the repercussions of abandoning everyone else as well. It was evident that my decision to keep everyone at a distance in order to keep Emmy back wasn’t my brightest idea. Obviously, our whole crew had banded together to back Emmy in her treat-Luke-like-an-ass campaign, not that I blamed them. I
was
an ass.

After the epic blowup between me, Emmy, and the notoriously bitchy Savannah, any hope I had that I could re-kindle those past relationships was flushed right down the shitter. When Emmy had so lovingly banished me from Virgie May’s, I returned to my shit-hole apartment with my tail between my legs. What I needed was a good night’s sleep and a few shots of whisky. Oh, and a plan… I needed a plan.

I woke the next morning feeling a little better about Operation: Win My Friends Back. That was until I got to the auto body shop that Jeremy owned. I’d stopped off at the Starbucks, since I wasn’t going to risk bodily harm by going back to the diner for a cup of coffee. I remembered that Jeremy always had a killer caffeine addiction, so I was hoping the big ass cup of solid black in my hand would be a good enough olive branch, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up too high.

I walked into the bay where Jeremy was working on a black 1967 Pontiac GTO. I sucked in a fortifying breath and took my shot. “Hey man, that’s one fine ass ride you got there.” Jeremy just looked at me as he wiped his hands with an old oil rag, not saying a word. “Uh,” I started, feeling more uncomfortable with every passing second. “I brought you a cup o’ coffee.” I extended my hand holding the Starbucks cup.

Quirking a brow, he reached out and took the drink. “Starbucks? Emmy’ll kick my ass, she sees me drinking this.” The smirk on his face told me that he’d love to see that happen.

I let out a short burst of laughter as I rubbed the back of my neck. “Figured Starbucks was a safer bet. I don’t think it’d be too smart to go back to Virgie May’s just yet.”

That got a full blown shit-eating grin from Jeremy. “Maybe not ever, brother.”

I couldn’t help the disappointment that stirred in my gut at that thought. “I’m kinda getting that man.” This definitely wasn’t going like I’d hoped. Letting out a puff of air, I raised both hands in surrender. “I’m just here to say I’m sorry, Jer. I got a lot of apologizing to do, and I figured you’d be a good starting point.”

“Well color me flattered, soldier boy, but if you don’t mind, I got a lotta shit to do,” Jeremy replied incredulously. My gift with words was failing me miserably.

He turned his back to me and continued working on his car, so I dug deep and said the only thing that had any chance of working. “I’m an asshole, Jeremy.”

That got his attention fast. “Well, that’s better… Go on.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Look, there isn’t anything I can say that could possibly make the shit I did any better. I was in a fucked up place when I left, man.” I paused to try and get my thoughts sorted before continuing. “I was a dick. I know that… But… Everyone was movin’ on with their lives. Y’all were all gonna make something of yourselves, and there I was, stuck in the same piece-a-shit house, at the same piece-a-shit job, day after day, nothin’ ever changing for me. I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

Jeremy threw the rag on the hood of the car and rested his hip against it. “That don’t explain you cuttin’ off all contact with anyone that ever cared about you. No one gave a shit you joined the Corps. We were all proud of you for makin’ something of yourself.” He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head before going on. “It’s the fact that when you left, you severed all ties with every one of us, Luke. That’s the shit that’s hard to let go of.”

I knew he was right. And the truth was I didn’t have one damn good excuse. “I know, Jer. I know. And if you decide to hate me forever, I’ll understand. It’s just… after the shit I did to Emmy... I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror, let alone face any of you.” I didn’t have to guess if everyone knew about the night before I left or not. It was clear with how they all glared at me that they were all well aware. “I fucked everything up that night, and instead of trying to make it right, I took the coward’s way out. It’s a shit reason but I need you to know, if I could go back and do things differently, I would. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t hate myself.”

Jeremy tilted his head slightly to the side as he studied me. “I’m not gonna lie to you, brother. That shit you pulled with Emmy was royally fucked up. You got no clue how bad that hurt her.”

Hearing how hard things had been for Emmy felt like a knife in my gut. The thought that I caused her any pain at all killed. It just made me hate myself more. I could deal with her contempt, but the thought of her hurting was almost too much. “I know man. But I’ll tell you now, I’m going to do everything in my power to make things right.”

“That’s all I ask, Luke.” Jeremy reached his hand out to shake mine, and I knew we’d made some headway in getting things back to how they once were.

“So we cool?” I asked, extending my hand to his.

“Getting there. I might hold you over the flames a few more times, but we’ll get there.”

I leaned my head back and let out another laugh. A real laugh this time, the first one in years. “I’ll take that, brother… I’ll take that.”

“So, you talk with your Ma?” he asked, moving back to work on the GTO.

That was another thing I wasn’t looking forward to dealing with now that I was back. “Not yet,” I replied, feeling like a coward.

“You’re going to have to deal with that sooner or later.”

I ran my hands through my hair. It felt weird after eight years of having a military buzz cut to actually be able to run my hands through it, but Emmy always talked about how much she loved my hair. She said the inky black was so different. So I grew it out before I came back. I knew I needed every advantage I could get with that girl. “Believe me, I’m hoping for later.”

“Sitting on shit like that just makes it fester.”

“When did you get so wise?” I asked with a chuckle.

He looked up with a grin. “What are you talking about? I’ve always been wise. You forget that over the past eight years?”

I grinned back uncomfortably. “Guess I did.”

“How about this… I was about to head out for lunch. Why don’t we head over to the deli on Main? You know, since you’re banned from Virgie May’s and all.”

“You’re a fuckin’ riot, man,” I said, punching him in the arm. We started walking out of the bay toward the street. “So what do you think I should do to get back in Emmy’s good graces?” I wasn’t going to tiptoe around the real reason I was back in Cloverleaf. I left behind the one and only girl I ever cared about, and I was determined to get her back.

The air around us suddenly shifted, and I noticed Jeremy’s demeanor changing from casual to serious in a matter of one sentence. “Honestly, I don’t know, Luke. Some shit went down after you left. It’s not my story to tell, so don’t ask me, but I really don’t know what to tell you. All I know is if she’s going to forgive you, it’s going to take
a lot
of damn work on your part.”

It didn’t sit well with me, Jeremy being so cryptic, but if there was one thing I knew about him, it was that he was loyal to his core. If Emmy had a secret, there was no getting it out of him, no matter how hard I pushed. It didn’t matter though, he said it would take a lot of work and I was prepared to put in the man hours.

“Come on, dude,” Jeremy called back to me. “I’m starving and you’re buying. I figure if you really want to make things right, I got at least a year’s worth of free meals coming my way.”

One down, too many to count to go
I thought. At least I was off to an okay start.

CHAPTER 5

EMERSON

“Can you believe this shit? That traitor!” Savannah was on a roll. We’d just left the salon after some much needed mani-pedi time to see Jeremy and Luke walking out of the deli across the street, laughing.
Laughing!
I guess that meant Jeremy had forgiven the ass hat. I refused to admit it out loud, but seeing my buddy laughing with that dick head stung… like
a lot
. But with Luke back in town, I’d made the decision to be the bigger person. Even if it killed me, which it just might.

“I’ve got a mind to rip both of them a new asshole,” she continued. I just let her rant. Trying to stop Savannah when she was on a tangent was like trying to stop a train by standing on the tracks with your hand out… dangerous and extremely stupid. “That’s it! I’m so silent treatment-ing his ass.”

I blew out a frustrated breath at her antics. “Isn’t silent treatment typically used for a guy you’re
in a relationship
with? Last I checked, you keep turning him down.”

She waved my statement off like it was nothing. “It’ll work, trust me. Jeremy can’t stand it when I don’t talk to him. He depends on his daily dose of the awesomeness that is me, and now he’s not gonna get it,” she harrumphed.

I rolled my eyes heavenward. “Oh yeah. You’re sure showing him.”

“Bet your sweet ass I am.”

I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and looked at my best friend. Time to do that whole bigger person thing. God that shit sucks. “Look, while I’d love nothing more than to watch Luke die a slow, agonizing death, preferably while I stood over him kicking him in the junk, that’s just not gonna happen. He’s back, and there’s nothing you or I can do about it.” I raised my hand to stop her oncoming argument. “He lived here for a long time and he had a lot of friends. If those guys decide they want to forgive him for bailing, then that’s their decision.” Feeling pretty good about my speech so far, I sucked in a breath and finished it off. “I might not be able to forgive and forget, but I’m a big enough person not to hold it against someone else who can.”

Look at me… all noble and shit
!

Savannah stared at me in disbelief for several seconds before declaring… very loudly… “Oh,
bullshit!
”

Huh, well that wasn’t the reaction I was expecting.
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, Emerson Grace. You can pull that bigger person shit with someone else, but I know you better. You want to kick Jeremy in the sac just as bad as I do!”

I grabbed her by the arm and dragged her around the corner. The last thing I needed was for everyone else to know I was full of shit just because Savannah had a big mouth. “Okay, okay,” I said through clenched teeth. “You’re right, it’s all bullshit, but it sounded good didn’t it?”

She gave that some thought. “Yeah, it sounded good. And I don’t think any of the guys will see through you the way I do, so you might actually pull off looking like the bigger person.”

“Exactly,” I declared, feeling triumphant.

We started walking again when Savannah asked, “So, what? You’re just going to act all chummy with Luke again even though he’s the spawn of Satan?”

“Pfft. Hell no! I’ve got nothing to say to that fucker. I’m just going to act like he doesn’t exist and go about my days like he’s not even here.”

Savannah cut her eyes at me, seeing through my false bravado instantly. “Good plan, Em. There’s no
way
that could
possibly
fail.”

She had a point, but whatever. “Can the sarcasm, bitch-ass.”

***

My plan of avoiding Luke like the plague was put to the test that same afternoon. It went without saying that I was shocked as shit when he walked into the diner calm as can be, planted his ass at one of the tables, and started browsing through the menu. I contemplated refusing service for all of two seconds before I decided to nip this in the bud.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked as I stomped up to his table. I was
not
going to give in and look at all his maleness wrapped up nicely in his Deputy uniform. I. Was. Not!

“Uh… Getting food?” He stared up at me innocently, which only pissed me off even further. He knew I knew exactly what he was playing at, and the fact he thought I was stupid enough not to see through his charade, made me want to stab him with a fork.

Okay… I might have jumped the gun on accusing Savannah of having too much anger the other day, because I was right there with her. I couldn’t stand that Luke affected me to the point of physical violence when I’d never been violent in my life.

“You know I don’t want you here. There are other places in town you can eat.” I turned on my heels and started away from him. Unfortunately, I didn’t get very far. The electric jolt I got from his hand wrapping around my wrist was almost enough to bring me to my knees. Such a simple touch and I felt like I was coming completely undone.

When I turned and looked into his eyes, I was sure the sorrow I saw in them mimicked my own. “Please.” The sincerity in his voice gave me a moment’s pause. “I know I don’t deserve it after how I left things between us, and I don’t expect you to ever forgive me. I just had to come in here and say I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry for everything I did to you, Emmy.”

I had no clue how to respond to that. I guess in the back of my mind I figured he’d attempt to apologize, I just never thought it would be so heartfelt. Not knowing how to react I said the only thing that came to mind. “Okay.”

He sat, shocked and taking my response in for several seconds. Luke released my wrist and sat back with a sigh. “Thank you.” Apparently, letting him get that off his chest meant more to him than I thought. “I know I’m really pressing my luck here, but would you consider letting me eat here?” When I looked back at him, he had that boyish smile on his face that I always loved so much when we were younger. “It’s just that Virgie’s has always had the best food. There isn’t anywhere halfway decent in a ten mile radius.”

It was my turn to sigh. “Fine, you can come in here for lunch or whatever. But I need you to understand something.” Placing my hands on the table right beside him, I leaned down and spoke softly enough that only he could hear. “This does not mean we are friends. You are not going to come in here and attempt to chat me up or make bullshit small talk. You wanna eat? That’s fine. If you’re coming in to my diner for any other reason than that, you need to find somewhere else to get your meals. Do you understand?” I only had so much high road in me, and I’d already met my quota for the day by relenting to him eating at Virgie May’s.

“I understand,” he said quietly. “Just food, I promise.”

I stood back to my full height. “Thank you.”

He cleared his throat uncomfortably before continuing. “Do you think Virgie would take my head off if I attempted to say hello to her? I haven’t seen your Grams around town since I got back.”

The statement he just made confirmed what I’d known all along, but still left me feeling cold and hurt. “You didn’t read a single email I sent… did you?” It was hard to speak past the lump in my throat. This man just couldn’t stop hurting me.

He looked down at the table in front of him, crestfallen. “No, I didn’t.”

I stood there and just stared, letting the pain of his confession rush through my body, just waiting for him to look up at me again. When he finally did, I spoke in a flat, emotionless voice. “You can’t say hi, Lucas. Grams died.” I turned and walked away before he could say anything else. I’d heard all I wanted to from Lucas Allen.