Phase (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #1) (19 page)

His mouth moved to mine again, and his kiss was desperate. Hungrier than any other between us had been, exploring and probing as if it would be the last time he ever could. Our position against the wall, with my legs spread wide enough to accommodate his body, left our hips connected. The growing bulge in his jeans rubbed against me in the most wonderful way, and I tipped my head back with a moan as I rolled my hips forward to meet him.

A low, needful growl issued from somewhere at the base of his throat, an ancient sound harking back to the most primitive times. The sound was gasoline to the fires of my desire. I wrapped both of my arms around his neck and claimed his mouth in a passionate kiss. Leaning forward, I wrapped my calves around his, lifting off the ground so that his cock had nowhere to go but to press firmly against me.

The ding of the elevator’s arrival sent him scuttling away from me, and I staggered to get my feet under me. He blew out a breath and trailed his hands through his hair. I used the opportunity to move to the elevator and press for access to my floor.

When he turned back around, I expected him to have found his grip on himself, but he hadn’t. Instead, his eyes travelled the length of my body again before meeting my gaze and holding me hostage with the intensity in his stare.

“I think I should come up.” The words had barely left him before he covered the distance between us and had me pinned against the elevator wall.

I pulled myself loose of his hold as the door slid closed behind him. “Are you sure?” I asked.

“No, but I’m sure I don’t wanna walk away right now either. We don’t have to do nothin’, but I need to be near you right now, darlin’. So bad it hurts.” His mouth crashed to mine again, and I was swept away to the place where nothing else mattered but his lips, his tongue, and the soft way his fingertips teased at the hem of my shirt.

The elevator ride was the shortest I’d ever been on, probably because I wanted it to last forever. I was certain when the doors opened, Beau would grab hold of the self-control that had kept him a virgin through his teenaged years and break away from the kiss. Only he didn’t.

Instead, he pulled my body against his and dragged me from the elevator. There was something primal about his movements. It made me ache in the best and worst ways all at once.

“Which room?” he asked in a low growl that rushed through me.

“Four eleven,” I breathed between kisses, pointing in the direction of my room.

His hand cupped my arse and he half carried me to my door. When we reached the room, he didn’t stop kissing me to let me open the door. Instead, he pressed me up against it, pinning my body to the smooth surface. No longer needing to support me, his hands trailed paths over my body as his lips moved on mine.

I fumbled in my pocket for the key card, shoving it into the lock as soon as I found it. I pushed the handle down, freeing the door and sending us both tumbling inside. Before I could fall, Beau’s hand snaked around my waist, and he kept us both upright as he renewed his gentle attack.

Needing to take a breath, even though it seemed like a waste when I had the choice to keep kissing him, I pushed Beau back a little. He retreated a step or two until his back hit the wall. Then he leaned against it with a goofy smile on his face.

“Jesus, darlin’, what is it you do to me?”

I blew out a breath and chuckled. “Tell me about it.”

I glanced up and met his gaze. In an instant, his smile fell, and he moved toward me until his lips were on mine again.

My stomach flipped as his hands climbed my body, slipping under the hem of my T-shirt and climbing higher.

“Is this okay?” he asked, breathless, as he lifted his lips from mine.

I managed a strangled, “Yes!”

I was just glad it didn’t come out the way it ran through my head: repeated on a loop, louder and needier with each pass. My skin flickered and twitched wherever his hands traced. Goosebumps rose across my stomach as his fingertips crept higher and tickled my sides.

His hands moved around to brush over the front of my bra, his palms teasing my nipples through the lace of the cups as his lips traced the column of my throat. On his next path, he pushed the cups up, freeing my breasts into his touch. When his fingers traced across my bare nipples, the moan that left him was as desperate as my own.

He claimed my lips again, his breathing fast and hard as his hands caressed and explored.

“Fuck,” I moaned as his mouth left mine.

“Darlin’, I need you.”

You have me, Beau. You have every piece in your hands. Please be gentle.

I NEED YOU.

The words hung between us as I met his eyes. I understood what he was saying at once, but he’d been clear how he felt about the subject. I couldn’t ask him to give up his promises for me, could I? Especially when I’d be giving him the same things in return. Was I ready for that? Could I do it?

God, I wanted to.

“Are you sure?”

“Never been surer ’bout nothin’ before.”

“What about—”

“Please, darlin’?”

“Beau, I—”

“Please?” His voice was low and breathy as if asking me to claim him for myself on the spot. “I . . . I know I said I was savin’ myself, but I can’t let this opportunity pass without somethin’ more. I can’t let ya walk away. I want this. I want to share this with you before ya have to leave. And I’m sure it’s worth it.”

“No, Beau, I—”

“Unless ya don’t want me?” The cocky smile on his lips told me he knew that I did. As if the fact we’d teetered on the edge so much lately hadn’t tipped him off to that fact.

“I do. But, it’s just, well . . .”
Just spit it out, Phoebe!
“It’ll be my first time too.”

He blinked at me as if he didn’t understand the words. “Ya mean you’ve never . . .? Wow, that’s a twist I never saw comin’.”

I met his eye again as I cocked my brow. “Are you trying to say I look easy?”

“No, ma’am, I’m just sayin’ it’s a wonder.” He trailed his lips along my neck as his hands teased at the hem of my T-shirt. “Do ya want me to stop?”

“No. I want this.” I’d never been particularly sentimental about losing my virginity. I didn’t want to throw it away with just anyone, but I didn’t care about waiting for marriage either. This was exactly the sort of situation that I’d been waiting for, even if I hadn’t consciously considered it.

“Do—do ya think we mighta been savin’ ourselves for each other?”

The way he said it, as if he were justifying it to himself, made me want to agree, but I couldn’t go further without knowing he was certain.

Before I could push and demand a reassurance that he wasn’t going to regret it later, he met my gaze. “The right woman will be worth the wait. That’s what Mabel tol’ me. This. Here. This is what I’ve been waitin’ for.” As he spoke, he trailed his fingertips over my skin. “I can see that now. If I let ya walk away without at least seein’ where this thang between us might go, I’d regret it for the rest of my days.”

His words and gentle touches travelled straight to my pussy, making it clench. “Fuck.”

“Heh, that’s a little more crass than I woulda put it, but that’s what I intend to do if you’ll let me.”

God yes! Now. Do it!
My teeth buried themselves deep into my lip as I nodded.

“Thank you,” he whispered as if I’d given him the best gift in the world. He picked me up and carried me to the bed.

Without taking his eyes off me, he pushed off his boots one at a time and then emptied his pockets onto the nightstand. A wicked grin crossed his lips as he pulled out his mobile phone.

I wondered what he was doing when he unlocked the screen and played with it. Then the first bars of a soft country song played through the speaker. He turned away from me to dim the lights.

Fuck. Was I really going to do this?

“I just need a minute,” I squeaked before leaping to my feet and racing to the bathroom. I slammed the door behind me, trying to calm the nerves that raced around my body. The first thing I did was take my medications so that I didn’t forget later. Opening the bag that contained them revealed the box of condoms Mum had forced on me at the airport.

Thank you!
It was something I hadn’t even considered in the heated moment outside. Seeing the protection, though, made it all real but also gave me a new confidence.

It assured me I was ready. Maybe I didn’t know Beau as well as I could, but he was right about one thing. I’d regret walking back out to him and saying no. I wanted him—needed him—more than anyone else I’d ever met.

I ripped open the box and grabbed a twin pack.

After splashing water over my face, I decided I needed to make a bold move. I ripped my shirt off over my head, wiggled out of my shorts, and then fixed my bra so that it was covering all the essentials. A quick glance in the mirror gave me another confidence boost. The regime of healthy eating and exercise certainly hadn’t done me any harm.

After another second of debate, I pulled my hair out of its ponytail. I combed my fingers through it to shift the awkward bump from the hair tie and tried to get it to curl nicely around my shoulders. For the first time since I’d dyed it, I wished I’d left my hair alone. I loved the attitude of the pink streak, but I wanted to be completely me for what was coming.

Too late.

Wearing nothing but my bra and lace boylegs, I headed back out from the bathroom. Without looking in Beau’s direction, lest it shatter my confidence and stop my plan, I moved to place the twin pack of condoms next to his phone on the nightstand.

I didn’t look at him, but I heard Beau’s hiss of desire when his gaze found me. As soon as I’d placed the protection close to hand, I turned to find Beau again. He was sitting in the one armchair in the room, his shirt already discarded. His body was everything I’d imagined it would be from the glimpses I’d gotten and the feel of it through his clothing. His chest was hard and his stomach lined with washboard muscles. He still wore his jeans, slung low on his hips, but that just made the whole package more alluring, especially where the smattering of hair on his chest ran down into a happy trail that vanished under his waistband. He’d removed his belt and buckle while I was gone.

“Come here,” he commanded in a soft but demanding tone.

Blowing out a breath, I moved closer to him. He held one arm out in invitation, and I willingly offered him my hand. He used it to guide me to straddle his lap before placing my hand on his shoulder. I complied and wrapped it around the back of his neck. The position left him at eye level with my boobs, but he wasn’t taking advantage of that fact—yet.

Instead, his gaze met mine. The emotions that swirled between the chocolate and amber made my heart clench and my throat tighten. Everything I felt—the fear, the anticipation, the need—echoed in their depths.

I wanted to collapse against his chest and just revel in how breathtaking the moment was. None other could compare. No one would.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured as he lifted one of his hands to caress my cheek. The other traced small circles on my hip, just above the waistband on my panties. For a moment, we sat like that—each drinking the other in without anything but innocent caresses.

It felt right.

Perfect.

Don’t get your expectations up, Phoebe, it’s likely to suck.
Two people trying out steps neither of us had danced before wasn’t exactly a recipe for a fantastic performance, and yet even before we’d touched, it was the most mind-blowing, enthralling experience of my life.

As the thought crossed my mind, I bent down to press my lips to his. My kiss was slow, patient, designed to prolong what came next even as it propelled us forward to that moment.

With my gaze still locked with his, I saw a struggle within him. I wanted to know what he was thinking. I wanted everything laid bare between us, but couldn’t open my mouth to say the words or ask what he was worried about.

In the end, I didn’t need to. After a moment, he gave a staggered sigh and the fear in his eyes grew.

“I love you,” he said, ensuring his eyes never left mine as he issued the quiet statement. As the words came out, the terror in his gaze reached new heights. “And I know I told ya I’d thought I felt that for others, but I ain’t never meant those words more than I do now. You—you’re special, darlin’.”

His words sent my heart fluttering. They were perfection, and I wanted to bottle the moment. But then, the reality in them, the naked truth, struck with an intensity that threatened to send me clamouring backward away from him.

Was that what it was? The crushing ache around my heart and lungs when I thought about walking away, was that love? Tears pricked my eyes as I wrapped both arms around his neck and held him tighter, so I didn’t run away.

“I think I love you too.” As soon as the words were out, the pressure in my chest grew claws and tore into my heart. The truth in the words echoed through me.

I loved him.

Somewhere over the course of a few ridiculously short weeks of texts and phone calls, it had crept up on me. The insidious vines of love had twisted through my heart. Now they were poised and ready to strangle the life out of me if I walked away.

When
.

Not if.

I had no choice. I had to go home. Had to leave him.

A sob left my lips.

“Hey now, darlin’, love’s s’posed to be a happy thing.” His own eyes were moist with tears, belying his words.

I shook my head and broke away from his eyes. “Love can destroy you. I’ve seen it happen.”

He touched his index finger to my cheek, guiding my face back to meet his eyes again.

“This doesn’t have to. Let’s just celebrate us, okay? We know this ain’t gonna last forever, but I’ll be darned if I let you walk away a moment before ya have to, or spend our last days together in tears.”

Even though I agreed with his sentiment and wanted to comply, fresh tears flooded my eyes.

“Oh, darlin’, I see you’re intent on makin’ it difficult for me.”

“I’m sorry. I just . . . I’ve never felt like this before. How can I feel this way, Beau? We hardly know each other. It can’t be love.”

“Love don’t know nothin’ of time, darlin’. Or knowledge. It just is.”

I laughed through my tears. “There you go being all philosophical again, cowboy.”

“I’ll be as philosophical as ya like if it makes ya smile and laugh. I love your smile.”

“You love me,” I said, my lips twisting upward even further as the words settled around me.

“That I do.” He swept away my tears with his thumb and pressed his lips to mine.

Somehow, the moment grew heavier. The expectations for what came next pinned me in place.

Beau ran his hands across my cheeks and into my hair, just like he had the first night we met. He drew my lips to his in a kiss that was half-chaste, and half a promise of things to come. His hands trailed through my hair and then continued down onto my shoulders.

A shudder of delight raced through my body as his fingertips danced between my shoulder blades. My mind was still racing with so many thoughts—all my fears, doubts, and desires—but I tried to focus solely on his touch. If we only had a limited time together, I didn’t want to forget a second of it.

His lips left my mouth and followed the lines of my body downward. His hands and mouth moved in sync, his fingertips trailing along my back as his tongue traced my throat.

Tipping my head back, I pushed my hips forward. With my legs spread wide over his lap, I could feel the hardness of his cock pressing against his jeans. Gaining confidence from the guttural noises he made at the contact, I rocked my hips back again before pressing them forward, feeling every muscle in his thighs tense under me as I did.

I was so lost in the pleasure that exploded through me with each pass of my pussy over his covered cock that I didn’t notice his fingertips had reached the clasp of my bra until he’d undone it. The cups fell forward, freeing my breasts to his touch.

“Oh my God!” It was the only thing I could think to say as he drew one of my nipples between his lips. The move forced a spike of pleasure through me, unlike any I’d experienced before. My hips bucked forward in response, and the twin pressure of his gentle suction and his cock against my clit were too much to contain silently. I cried out and arched my back into his touch.

Spurred by my reaction, he grew bolder, adding his teeth and tongue into the mix. The sensation was too much. Overwhelming. I couldn’t breathe; my heart exploded against my chest.

He moaned against my skin, the sound somehow encompassing everything I felt.

His tongue explored my body. My breathing sped. His fingers teased. My world contracted down until nothing existed but him and me.