Persuasion (14 page)

be more formal. One risks fewer cuts that way I have found."

“Tosh, why should I cut you?”

“For reasons of your own, Lily,” was the wry reply. "Never mind that now,

the formalities are out of the way," she teased. “You look peaky, Lily.”

“I do?” She laughed a little forcedly. "I am sure that like yourself it is merely the heat."

Anna hummed unconvincedly under her breath but Lily ignored it.

“Did you have a touch of influenza? A few of my aunt's friends came down

with that particular malady. You may think me rotten, Anna, but to nicer

women it couldn't have happened! My aunt is one of the sweetest ladies I

have yet to meet, but the company she keeps!” Lily huffed under her breath

and then felt her lips twitch as Anna's laughed.

“No,” she said around a grin. “I did not have influenza. I fear it will be your

turn to laugh, Lily. But . . . unfortunately, I had a succession of rather

unpleasant blemishes. My Abigail insisted that a touch of Pear's Almond

Bloom would be quite sufficient to hide it, but my mama would not hear of

it. I have been daubed in all kinds of cosmetics these weeks past,” Anna said

with a grim sigh. “From Olympian Dew to Milk of Roses. I've had more

cucumber on my face than in my sandwiches and mama has nigh starved

me to death for she is certain that my love of sweet tea is the reason for my

poor complexion,” she finished on a complaining note and then grimaced as

Lily did indeed begin to laugh. “It’s very well for you to laugh at my

misfortune!”

“I laugh with you, not at you,” Lily promised and raised her free hand to

cover her mouth and her smile!

“I am quite sure that I don't believe you!”

“I promise! I promise!”

She hummed again. “Lud, what a bore it is to be a débutante. My sister

promised me routs and parties galore. She did not tell me that each party

would be exactly the same as every other and that one would wilt in this

awful heat!”

“Don't forget the stench,” Lily pointed out with a wry grin.

“Ah, so it is not just I who has smelled the pleasant odor of unwashed

bodies?” Anna nodded stoutly. “Disgusting, is it not?”

“It is,” Lily remarked darkly. “Have you yet to attend the theater?”

“No. I am due to attend next week. My mama has an invitation from our

hostess this evening.”

"If you believe this to be bad, then you should wait until you visit that

particular event!” she murmured, tilting her head to the side mischievously

as she wafted a hand in front of her nose. “I've taken to carrying a

handkerchief doused in rose or lavender water. It . . . perfumes the hideous

smells rather than completely disguising them, but it helps.”

“What a good idea! If my mama were to notice it, then she would not

chastise me for carrying a mere handkerchief!”

“You are so outspoken, Anna. I cannot understand why you cower before

your mother,” Lily asked gently, as they walked to the balconies and out into

the fresh air. Not that it was all that fresh, simply cleaner than the air they

had been breathing within the confines of the house.

It was Anna's turn to wave a hand. “Pff, it is merely self-preservation. It is

fair easier to do as mama says than to act against her wishes.”

“Again, that sounds most unlike you.”

“Perhaps. But I was taught by my father at a young age. At home, she is

rather more . . . flexible. She is rather terrified of making a bad impression

in front of the ton and is quite petrified that if she makes even one error, I

will be cast out by the gentlemen seeking wives.”

“Ah. It is a shame that she feels thus.”

“Perhaps, but it is her way and unfortunately, the way of most people in my

class.”

“Do we not share the same class, then?”

Anna snorted. “Indeed, we do not! You, my Lady Mercer, are just that,

renowned about the ton for your icy beauty and icy temperament. And then,

after you are known for those qualities, you are known to be the daughter of

the rich Marquess of Grantlake, who quite infamously landed upon you a

dowry that would suit Prinny himself!”

“Tosh!” Lily interrupted.

“No, please, wait,” Anna said and held up a hand. “Permit me to finish.” Lily

nodded her permission. “I am the daughter of a third son of an Earl, whose

parish church is quite simply falling to bits around its clergyman! We are not

of the same class, even if we have the same tone of voice.”

Unable to help it, Lily's lips twitched. “I believe there is a reprimand in there

somewhere.”

Anna grinned. “Perhaps.”

“However, permit me to defend myself now. It is simply a chance of birth

that I was born into both a rich and pretty family.”

“Again, perhaps, but you cannot deny that your status makes you

untouchable?”

Instantly, Lily's good mood disappeared. Untouchable? No, she wasn't

untouchable. How she wished that she was!

Still in possession of Anna's hand, she dragged them away from the

balconies and into the heaving ballroom. There were at least three hundred

people within the room's confines and the tumultuous combination of body

heat, body odor and the oppressive warmth from the chandeliers above was

not a pleasant one, especially when compared to the relative looseness of

atmosphere outside of the house. The scents and sounds of a ball were

never all that grand, however the Ipswich ball seemed worse than most.

The combination of her physical responses to the ball itself and that

thoughtless term of Anna's had Lily feeling as trapped as a rabbit caught in a

snare. And as she guided Anna and herself through the crowds, a harried

need overcame her. Her need to avoid the shadows and any location in

which her blackmailer could find her, trap her within his web and force her to

act, started to hold the utmost importance. Her heart began to beat rapidly

in her chest and when she felt the swift flood of blood coursing through her

veins, nausea began to assail her. Suddenly, she could not swallow and a

choking sensation overcame her and merely doubled her panic.

Perhaps the only thing that saved her from making a fool of herself, was the

fact that Anna began to tug at her arm. She came to a quick halt and as

Anna frowned at her in concern, she sucked in deep cleansing breaths and

turned her face away to hide her expression from the perceptive other girl.

“What on earth is the matter, Lily?”

Gulping, she shook her head. “Nothing.”

It was rather more frantic than she would have liked, but then, that was how

she felt, frantic.

“You are quite sure?”

“Positive.”

Again Anna seemed quite unconvinced, but what could Lily say? She could

say nothing. This burden was hers alone to bear and while she felt quite

inept at the task, she had no choice.

She now wished that when she had first seen Anna, she had turned away.

While they hardly knew one another, from their previous conversations

together, Lily knew how perceptive Anna was, just as Lily was. And if

someone were to behave as strangely as she was behaving, then Lily would

have been most suspicious and curious also. Questions aplenty would have

abounded!

Lifting a shaky hand to her forehead, she patted the slight beads of sweat on

her brow with her fingers and hoped to God that Anna would not be asking

many questions. That, Lily was certain, she would not be able to handle.

“Look, you are sweating and shaking. Are you ill?” Anna asked, her voice

filled with concern. And it was a genuine concern. Not like the usual tonnish

inquisitiveness at play.

Instantly, Lily felt guilty. It was quite obvious that Anna was a good girl and

could possibly be a good friend and to wish her away, seemed quite rotten.

But Lily did. And oh, how mean she felt.

What a damnable bumblebroth she was in!

She licked her lips and opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by

Mr. Derricks. "May I mark your card, Lady Mercer?" he asked with a

somewhat pompous and triumphant bow.

Lily looked from the gentleman before her to the still-frowning girl who was

looking at her with puzzlement. Even as she longed to talk with Anna, who,

while a veritable stranger, she felt sure she could trust the younger girl and

how wonderful it would be to be able to divulge this horrid secret to

someone. Even as the thought passed through her mind, Lily discarded it

and with a slight titter, nodded at the gentleman before turning to Anna.

"Please excuse me, Miss. Sampson."

Anna simply nodded as Lily was spun into the whirlwind of dancing with Mr.

Derricks, but she did not fail to see the slight hurt in the other chit's eyes

and again, felt horribly guilty for simply abandoning her in the center of a

crowd of this size.

As atonement, she let herself be cast as the partner to many a dance, when

in the past she would have refused each invitation. But now that harried

desire to escape her blackmailer, to never be alone or at unawares

overwhelmed her once more.

As she danced the steps to yet another waltz, Lily realized sadly how much

she had changed.

How necessity had formed her into a completely different person and one

that Lily did not particularly like.

While she had been granted permission to dance these most scandalous of

steps, Lily had always refused to take part in this set. She had broken that

vow firstly with the Earl and then once again, tonight. A part of her

wondered to what depths she would have to sink, before this arrangement

was over. And as that thought passed through her head, she flinched. For

she knew how low she would be descending and it would be far worse than a

paltry waltz!

She pondered the morose thought as she held her form and allowed her

eyes to cast blindly about the ballroom. The heaving mass of humanity, the

amalgamation of bright and torrid colors of the dandies and the flagrant

matrons' attire and then the dull blacks and whites of the more somber

ladies and gentleman, the richness of the surroundings . . . they all passed

in a blur. When the candle flames above her head flickered as a slight breeze

blew in through the balcony, she flinched and the desire to pull away from

her partner's arms was great. But she managed to bear his clasp by

concentrating on the wainscoted paneling of the cavernous room. The gilt

edging that glittered even in the dull light of the candle flames, the cream

walls that shone lustrously, the moldings that were formed into myriad

shapes. From simple rosettes to shining gilt Guilloché interlaces that

entwined the rosettes' in their embrace.

Finally, the dance came to an end and she could, at last, cease her

persistent staring at the Ipswich's architectural motifs! That, in and of itself,

should have made her feel relief, but even though she was slightly out of

breath, and that oppressive heat had once more clinched her to its bosom,

Lily felt unbearably cold and not relieved. It was a cold that traversed the

surface and flooded her center with ice. Indeed, she was hard-pressed not to

shiver!

"Are you quite well?" asked the gentleman with whom she was partnered,

and who at the same time allowed his eyes travel down the silk-like skin of

her throat and down over her décolletage which was she had to admit,

scandalously visible. But then, had she not chosen to wear this dove gray

dress with the Earl in mind?

The thought registered at the same time as she realized that she was quite

bored of being asked that question. Countless times over the evening had a

myriad number of people asked her that same question and each time it had

necessitated she lie, for she was not quite well. She was anything but!

She was ashamed to admit, that not once had the blackmailer's insidious

demands entered her mind as she had chosen this particular outfit. She had

chosen the gray silk for it complemented her coloring, displayed her figure to

its best, but at the same time indulged masculine interest.

That she had chosen this dress with a man in mind, when a month ago she

would have refused to wear it on principle of its low bust, told her how much

she had changed. For the second time that night, she felt nauseous! She had

never considered herself to be a paragon of virtue, but… this was just

ridiculous.

She had simply answered the gentleman with a slight nod and had then

allowed herself to be whisked away by another man and to another dance.

Her reputation was such that a large percentage of the eyes in the crowd

were continuously upon her as she danced. In that regard, Lily could

understand why Anna believed her to be untouchable. But she wasn't. To be

the constant sinecure of all eyes provided her with relative security but as

the evening progressed, and she had failed to meet with her blackmailer,

rather than feel relieved, she felt worried to the bone. But, at the same time,

neither did she wish to seek him out. Au contraire!

Perhaps, it was fate that ultimately decided for her. Having imbibed far too

much punch, just before the clocks struck twelve, Lily found herself hurrying

to the ladies area. A footman guided her along a tucked away corridor and