Persuasion (11 page)

“If I may say so, my lord, you won't find salvation at the bottom of that

glass.”

Used to Hague's quiet way of speaking, Dorian just laughed. Even as a

young lad, who had been discovering that his cock was for more than just

pissing out of, and now as a grown man, who'd been widowed and almost a

father, through it all, Hague still tended to treat him in the same indomitable

fashion.

“No. But the headache in the morning will take my mind off my troubles,

Hague. And it's the bottom of the bottle, not the glass,” Dorian pointed out

as he filled the balloon of brandy three quarters full.

“You're far too young to be so troubled, sir.”

Scoffing, Dorian raised his glass to that. “That I do know. It seems I'm being

punished for my gallivanting youth, Hague. Misery is my watchword now,”

he toasted with a faint smirk then stared bleakly at the wall. His words had

been truer than he cared to admit.

“I'll be the first to say you were a ragamuffin, Master Dorian. A misbehaving

scamp, to be true, but you weren't evil and you didn't and never have done

anything to deserve the trauma that's been your companion these last few

years. But you must prevail, sir. You must. Don't let the life be taken from

you, sir.”

He grinned, but it was a wry slash on his face. “Don't go on, Hague.”

The butler shook his head and sighed. “If that's everything, sir?”

“Yes. Of course. Sleep well, Hague.”

“And yourself, sir. Shall I inform Smith that you're ready to change?”

“Yes. You can do.”

Hague nodded and departed. Dorian did not need to see the flicker of a

smile on his face to know that it was there. Hague's words had worked.

Dorian, whose intention had been to stay here until the wee hours of the

morning with naught for company but his decanter of brandy, would be

rising through the floors and retreating to bed.

Rolling his eyes, he stood and stretched and then ensured that the fire was

banked before striding out of his room and sending himself into his valet's

care.

****

softened her hair, Lily contemplated the evening's events and felt

discomforted by what had occurred.

Mostly, she was still frightened about what a seduction actually entailed and

how she would even go about doing it.

A part of her realized that if the sensation of feeling his lips close to hers and

his eyes boring down into her own as their bodies brushed was anything to

go by, then it would be a particularly incredible experience.

Deciding that the time for bluntness was now, she bolstered her courage by

reaching for a cushion and hugging it to her belly. “Janie?” Lily asked

hesitantly.

The bustling maid was still rearranging clothes and returning the jewelry

she'd been wearing into the appropriate cases. “Yes, miss.”

“What is a seduction?”

Janie spluttered and considering how redoubtable her maid was, it was not

confidence inspiring! “Why do you ask that, miss? You should be asking your

aunt, not me. In fact, I take that back. You shouldn't be asking that at all!”

“I can't ask her. I have already tried. And I must ask someone. It seems

that the entire world is conspiring to keep debutantes in the dark and I'm

growing rather tired of it!”

“Well, if she won't answer you then she certainly won't want me answering it

for you! And don't make on about being in the dark. You're there for a

reason! For your protection and to keep your respectability, miss.”

“Janie! Please! I have to know.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I was . . . well, I heard something at a ball,” she lied with a shrug and

ducked her head to hide her gaze from Janie's.

“You oughtn't to be listening to gossip, Miss Lily,” Janie chastised gently.

“It's an evil thing is gossip. Hurt many a person it has!”

“I know, but it peaked my curiosity.”

“Well, don't let it!”

“Please, Janie! What is it? If you don't tell me then I'll just find someone who

will and no doubt embarrass us both in the process!”

Janie tutted and looked hunted for a moment. “Do you know what happens

in the marriage bed?” she finally replied, after sighing with a definite air of

defeat.

“Well, no, I don't.”

Janie licked her lips and then raised a hand and scratched her forehead.

“Didn't you learn nothing at Grantlake, miss?”

“What do you mean?”

“At the home farm, I mean?”

“What on earth happens there? Surely it's not in relation to what occurs

between man and wife?”

“Oh miss, are you sure you want to know about all this?” Janie asked,

concernedly. Her forehead pleated in a frown as she looked at the guileless

face of her charge.

“Of course, Janie. If I'm to be married at the end of this Season, then I will

know by then, won't I?” she retorted reasonably and bit her lip excitedly.

Very soon, she could know the answer to what it entailed and then be able

to protect her mother from that bastard's dirty paws. Knowledge, after all,

was power.

“Wouldn't you prefer to wait until then? When your husband could tell you

about it all?”

“No! Please, Janie!”

“Well, a seduction is usually out of the bounds of marriage, Miss Lily. So you

shouldn't really even know what it consists of. But in the marriage bed, the

man and the woman . . . well, they . . . play.”

“Play?” Lily asked with a frown. “Like jacks or a game of whist?”

Janie coughed and scratched her mob cap. “Not entirely.”

Impatient now, Lily frowned. “Then what? Janie!”

“A man has . . . well, you know what a snake is?”

“Of course.”

“Well, a man has one.”

“A man has a snake! Good Lord!” Lily replied, startled by her maid's words.

A snake? Instantly the nightmare she'd been assailed with only a few nights

ago came to her. Adders that slithered around her wrists and ankles . . . .

She had to shake her head to dispel the image. Whatever Janie meant, she

was sure that a man's snake did not look thus! At least, she hoped to God

they did not! How terrifying!

“No. Not like that, it's just well like that shape. In your aunt's garden,” Janie

muttered, obviously relieved to have something to use as a comparison.

“There's a statue? Correct?”

“Yes. Of Apollo, I think.”

“Well, that doesn't matter which God it is. Think about that part below his

waist.”

“The . . . .” Lily pondered her memories of the Grecian statues that she had

seen. “The bulge?”

“Yes. Well, it gets hard and then he puts it inside his lady and then he plants

his seed and that's how babies are made.”

“Does it hurt? It sounds painful. How hard does it become?” Lily replied,

more confused than ever.

“Miss Lily!” Janie scolded. “I'm a spinster! How should I know?”

“Sorry, Janie. Well, has someone spoken to you of this snake?”

“Of course, how do you think I know about it? But yes, at first, according to

my sister Sarah and she's had six children, so she should know! But

afterward, she says it can be quite pleasurable.” Janie ducked her head. “But

that is a confidence, miss. You oughtn't be asking me about all this.”

“Thank you for telling me, Janie. I know you felt uncomfortable.”

“It's your mama's job to tell you this kind of thing, Miss Lily.”

“I know, but I don't think mama is altogether collected enough to tell me

about anything of this nature. I'm truly grateful, Janie. I did not know who

else to ask, but knew that I had to know about it before . . . well, I wed.”

“Yes, miss, I know. If that's all you need . . . ?”

“Of course, you can retire now.”

“Thanks, miss.” Janie bobbed a curtsy and then hurried away as quickly as

possible, obviously fearful that Lily would ask her more questions.

Hiding a smile at Janie's behavior, Lily contemplated the details of seduction

and realized that the man who was threatening her into seducing Earl

fforbes-Hyde, would effectively be ruining her for marriage.

Any humor she had found at Janie's rapid retreat dissipated instantly. Now

knowing what it actually entailed, she realized that this would be worse than

being compromised. For many girls were forced to marry unsuitable men,

because they had been compromised, whereas she would not have the

chance to redeem herself in any way. She would be totally lost.

The only advantage would come from the fact that only three people would

know of her shame, the man threatening her, the Earl, and herself.

She closed her eyes at the thought.

This man was nefarious enough to pressure her into this seduction on pain of

her mother's life, what was to say that he wouldn't continue to threaten her

throughout her life? Once he had this information, then he would forever

have power over her and would have no fear in using it.

If she did marry and managed to keep this a secret, there would always be

someone who knew of her shame.

More than anything, the thought frightened her and a slight tremble had her

curling on to her side and shivering against her blankets.

Although it was pointless, for she felt as though her heart had frozen, she

tried to rub her arms to heat her up but it was indeed to no avail. She felt so

cold and knew that it would never ever go, that it would follow her through

her life and felt despairing at the thought.

When she'd first been accosted by that bastard, the repercussions had failed

to hit her. Mostly, Lily had been so petrified that he would harm her mother

and that thought was still with her, but now was the terror that this

seduction of hers would become known throughout the ton and her mama

would be affected inadvertently.

Lily knew that her mama would not be able to withstand the shame were the

news to break and knew that there was no guarantee that it would not.

She turned on to her back and stared up at the four poster's ceiling and felt

tears begin to burn at her eyes and what hurt the most, was the fact that

the Earl, haunted as he was, had the potential to be the man she had been

seeking throughout this tedious Season.

Lily clenched her eyes tightly shut and shook her head against the pillow as

though denying it physically, meant that it weren't true. But one could not

lie to oneself and the emotions that the Earl had inspired in her had been so

foreign and so alien that she could not deny them. What they meant, Lily did

not know and in the circumstances she did not want to know.

A part of her thought to how Aunt Millie had said her mother and father had

fallen in love at first sight, and Lily feared that she had inherited that trait.

For she could easily recall the moment, in her mind's eye, when she had set

her sights on the Earl and knew that it was a moment she would never

forget. Regardless of the circumstances, of the pressure she was under,

there was something about him that had touched her deeply and she knew

that it would be something from which she would never recover.

Trying to tune out her thoughts, she curled once more on to her side and

tucked her legs upwards so that she rested in a fetal position. It gave her

some sense of comfort and she desperately needed that at this moment in

time.

Her dreams that night were as unpleasant as they had ever been. The

nightmares filled with a sense of fear that chased her endlessly and made

her slumber restless and discomforting.

****

ceiling, Dorian grimaced as for what felt like the hundredth time since he'd

actually jumped into bed, his thoughts were once more trained upon that

intriguing female, Lady Mercer.

No matter how often he determined to change the direction of his thoughts,

they always returned to her and it was damned unnerving. He didn't want to

think of her, he didn't want to have anything to do with her. Women were

trouble and they could cause nothing but hurt, if one were to involve oneself

with them. Had he not learnt that? Was his current situation not because of

a woman?

His friends would jeer at that, but it was the truth. They brought nothing but

misery and distress and Camille had caused more than most, for he had

loved her. To love was to hurt.

He should have realized that from his parents' relationship.

Both had loved one another but had been unable to stand the other for

longer than a few moments. There had been a silent dedication and a

'trueness' to their relationship, but Dorian's mother had spent the majority

of time in London and his father at their estate.

Whenever they had come together, the clashes had always been

magnificent. A man did not like to think of the intimacy shared between his

parents, but his father had once told him that their intense dislike for each

other had caused a passion that throughout the longevity of their marriage

had never fizzled out.

Dorian could well understand it. His mother was still alive and he knew,

instinctively, that even though she was an attractive woman, she had never

even contemplated marriage to another man.

Love could be magical but it could also be toxic and Dorian wanted nothing