Perigee Moon (37 page)

I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me, feeling the salty tears that were streaming down my face sting the open wound on my cheek. “No you’re not. Do you hear me Alex? You have me. I am your family now.”

He nodded, his eyes turning a translucent blue from the moisture pooling in them. I kissed him softly, then nervously glanced around, remembering that Marion wasn’t our only problem. I could hear shouts in the distance now. And when I strained my neck the brief glint of a torch was visible through the brush. “We have to go Alex. We have to go now.”

I finally managed to drag myself close enough so that I could wrap my arms around him while he cried. The sound of it broke me, and I knew he needed time to mourn for his lost family. But unfortunately it was time we didn’t have.

“Alex I love you. But we need to move, or this was all for nothing. You understand?” I said, running my thumb across his cheek to wipe away a tear.

He nodded. “Let’s go home.”

So this is my first entry in my book of shadows. Grams gave it to me. She said this is the beginning of something great. She said this will hold all of my secrets. My lessons. I have so much to learn. Good thing I have a good teacher. After last night I know this is my destiny and I’m ready to embrace it. I’m ready to face this new life with Alex by my side. I’m ready to see where this magic can take us both. Thanks to the Goddess. Thanks to God.  Blessed Be.

~Rowan 2010

***

The next morning everything ached. I ached for my mother, for her senseless death. For the fact that it wasn’t fair and none of it would ever be right again. I ached for Alex. I poured myself a glass of orange juice and leaned on the kitchen counter. Sunlight streamed in through the little window above the sink making the dish soap bubbles in the sink glisten and pop.

“It’s done.” Grams descended down the stairs wiping her palms on her skirt as if she could get rid of the evidence of magic before Grandpa could see. I could’ve kissed Bevin when I realized it had been her that had called them to come home when she saw me go through the gateway. I sat the glass of juice down and headed for the stairs.

“I want to see him,” I said. Grams gripped my forearm to stop me. I looked down at her hand and back up to meet her eyes. “What? Is he okay?”

She shook her head and I could feel the exhaustion consuming her. Whatever spell she’d weaved for Alex had obviously taken its toll.

“He’s going to be fine,” she reassured me. “I did everything I could for him Rowan, but even the spells I know aren’t going to heal him completely. He still has a long way to go. I just want you to be prepared.”

I shook free of her grip. “Fine. I’m prepared. I need to see him now.”

She grabbed me by the hand and led me to the kitchen table, forced me to sit down, and touched the wound on my cheek.

“No, Grams, I need to see Alex.”

“Trust me, you’re going to want me to work on this,” she said, an edge to her voice. I closed my eyes and felt her tug and work on my wound. Felt the heat from her palms melt through the pain, dulling it a little.

“Rowan?” I opened my eyes and Bevin was standing across from me, twisting the hem of her shirt between her fingers.

“Bev-” I winced when Grams pressed some kind of herb into the cut.

“Rowan I’m so sorry,” she blurted out, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. “I should’ve believed you.”

“It’s okay.” I smiled and pain took charge of the right side of my face. Grams sighed and shook her head. She pulled away.

“That’s the best I can do for it sweetheart,” Grams said. “If it would’ve been a normal wound I could have done more, but the magic she used was too strong.”

I closed my eyes and swallowed past the lump in my throat. Bevin brushed the hair from my forehead.

“It doesn’t look bad,” she lied.

“Whoa Bevin, you didn’t tell me it looked that bad.” I glanced up to see Tyler in the doorway to the kitchen. “Sorry, the door was open.”

Tyler
shuffled into the room with Paige on his heels.

“Good God girl!” Paige leaned in close and squinted at my face, her red ponytail swinging back and forth behind her from the movement. “What did you do? Go through a windshield?”

“It’s fine I just had an accident. What are you doing over here?” I asked.

Tyler
’s cheeks flushed and he pulled his baseball cap off to scratch his head. His eyes moved over to Bevin and back to me. “Bev called us and said you were in a car accident. We wanted to check up on you.”

“
Bev
?” I looked between Tyler and Bevin feeling a warmth bloom between them.

“And we’re going to breakfast,” Bevin spoke up. “To give you some peace and quiet.” Her eyes looked up towards the staircase where Alex was and then back to me.

I smiled. “Thanks.”

“That is if you really are okay.” She touched my shoulder. “I can stay if you want.”

A wave of disappointment swirled out from Tyler and wafted through me.

I raised a brow at him and shook my head. “No…I’ll be fine.”

“Well, these are for you.” Paige sat a bundle of flowers on the table as her bright pink lips lifted into a sympathetic smile. “Call me if you need anything.”

I nodded and waved them off still a little stunned by the connection I’d felt between Tyler and Bevin. I shook off the shock after they left. This wasn’t important. Not when I needed to see Alex.

“I’m going to see Alex,” I said to Grams and sprang up and headed out of the kitchen.

I didn’t make it up three steps before Gram’s voice stopped me. “Why didn’t you tell me Rowan? Why didn’t you tell me things were so bad?”

I turned around and dropped down onto a step, weighted down by her hurt and my fear. I looked up at her and pulled the hair away from my face, flinching when a few strands caught in the wound on my cheek.

“Could you have fixed it Grams?” I asked. “Would you have even let me try?”

She knelt down in front of me and shook her head, wiping her hands on a towel. “No.”

“Then that’s why,” I said.

We stared at each other in silence for a moment. It was like we were strangers. Our layers were peeled back and our secrets were displayed for each other to see. It wasn’t a bad thing. But any time you see someone’s soul you aren’t going to like everything that’s in there. Some things are hidden for a reason. And from the look on Grams’ face she didn’t like the fact that I was willing to do anything, even if it meant risk my own life for Alex. But she accepted it. She didn’t have to say it. The softness in her eyes was all I needed to see.

The front door creaked open and someone knocked and stepped into the foyer. Grams looked me up and down and smiled. “Well I don’t know how you plan on explaining all of this, but I suggest you leave out the part where your boyfriend is currently unconscious in your room.” Grams patted my hand and walked away, leaving me to stew in my own confusion. I stood up and my breath stuck to the sides of my throat.

Dad.

He stood at the bottom of the steps, duffle bag in hand, staring at me, eyes wide. He looked rumpled, his jeans wrinkled, his hair in disarray like he’d been traveling all night. Mom always loved it when he looked like this. She’d always scratch his stubble and tell him how handsome he was when he would walk in from a long trip or camping with Cam. He dropped the bag and his shock and worry puffed out like a cloud of dust, nearly choking me.

“Rowan?” He took a hesitant step forward. “What…what the hell happened to your face?”

I bit my lip and touched the skin around the burn.

“I…I was in a little car accident last night,” I lied. Without warning he sprang forward and crushed me against his chest. He breathed into my hair then pushed me away to look me over.

“Are you alright? Did you break anything? Did you already see a doctor? Who was driving? It was Bevin wasn’t it? I told you that girl-” He was rambling and I swear another grey hair sprang to life on his head.

“No, Dad, I’m fine. Really. Bevin wasn’t driving.” I stepped away from him to put some distance between us. I just needed to breathe. “What are you doing here?”

His eyebrows drew together in confusion. “I told you I was going to stop by on my way through to see your Aunt Abby.” When I looked away he sighed. “You didn’t think I was coming.” It wasn’t even a question.

“Why would I?” I asked, too consumed with my own hurt to worry about what he was feeling. “I’ve barley spoken to you since I’ve been here.”
I sat back down on the steps and hugged my knees to my chest. Dad joined me. He tipped his head back to stare at the ceiling as if the words he needed might appear there.

“Rowan I thought… I thought that I was part of the problem.” He glanced down at my wrists. “I couldn’t make anything better for you. And you…” Dad swallowed and closed his eyes. “You almost left me. I don’t know what I would’ve done if something would’ve happened to you. Do you understand that? It would
break
me to lose you Rowan. I wanted you to be happy again. I wanted you to be able to forget.”

“You’re the one that wanted to forget Dad. Not me,” I said.

He nodded thoughtfully. “That’s true too.”

He put his arm around me and kissed my temple. I sighed.

“Don’t leave me alone again,” I said, wiping a tear away. “I won’t forgive you next time.”

Dad nodded. “Deal.”

Sunlight was streaming buttery and bright into the bedroom, illuminating Alex’s face when I tiptoed through my door. His eyes were closed, but I could tell he was awake. His face was hard as if he were deep in thought, his fingers flexing at his side. I could feel my senses prickling, searching for what he was feeling, but I instantly threw up a block in my mind. I didn’t want to feel what he was feeling at this moment. I was a coward. At this moment all I wanted to do was swim in the relief I felt knowing that he was okay. I didn’t have room to feel anyone else’s emotions right now. I was already suffocated by my own.

I set the tray of food down onto the nightstand and the sound of the dishes rattling brought him back from wherever his thoughts had been. He turned his head and smiled. I could see, without having to feel, just how much effort it had taken for him to move even that slightest bit.

“Hi,” I whispered, not trusting my voice to say anymore without crying.

His fingers twitched like he wanted to touch me, so I picked his hand up gently and laid it against the good side of my face. The feel of his skin on mine sent tremors running through my body and I couldn’t contain the sobs any longer. To see his wounds, the pain in his eyes on top of knowing that I’d almost lost him. It was too much. I ducked my head down and buried my face carefully into the crook of his neck as I allowed myself to really cry for the first time since the whole ordeal had passed.

“Shhh.” Alex ran his hands over the back of my hair as he held me against him. “It’s over love. It’s over.”

I pulled back long enough to look at him, then my lips collided with his. I kissed him again and again until I couldn’t breathe. The pain blazed across my cheek with each measured movement of my mouth. I took it as long as I could, then pulled away. I could tell that he didn’t want to stop anymore than I did, but we both knew this was all we were capable of at that moment.

“You saved my life,” he said. His voice was sounding more like his own, but it was still cracked and vaguely unfamiliar. “You shouldn’t have done that Rowan.”

“You’d trade this?” I asked doubtfully. He squeezed a handful of my hair in his hand and shook his head slowly.

“Never,” he breathed, and the intensity behind the word shook me to my core.

“Then stop complaining.”

“What you did…” he shook his head wordlessly, his eyes glistening. “You were amazing. You
are
amazing.”

A warm smile broke across his face, but it fell away as soon as he pushed the hair back from my face to look at the gash there. For the first time since it had happened I felt self-conscious. Would it leave a scar? I was almost certain that it would. My eyes welled up with tears again at the thought of the puckered pink scar that was sure to come. It felt shallow to worry about my looks after all we’d been through, but to think that my face would be forever marred was just enough to push me over the edge.