Perigee Moon (13 page)

“You shouldn’t have this,” she said and turned back to the book, the bottom of her dress twirling with her swift movement.

“Why? What is it?” I asked, taking a step forward, regaining my courage and the full use of my legs.

“It’s a book of shadows,” she said as if I should know what it meant.

“We’re not fluent in weirdo Noel,” Paige said and rolled her eyes.

Noel shot her a sharp look. I half expected Noel to kick us out right then but when she turned back to the book and continued I breathed a sigh of relief.

“A book of shadows is a book that belongs to a witch. It holds all of her innermost thoughts, spells, rituals, laws. It pretty much serves as a guide, to put it mildly.” She paused and turned back to face us. “And it is supposed to be destroyed when she dies. No exceptions.” She slammed the book shut and looked at me.

“So what am I supposed to do with it now? Destroy it?” I said, knowing that there was no way in hell that was happening.

She ran her fingers over the book in thought for a moment, and then began to drum her long black nails against the cover.

“Do you know how much this thing is worth?” she said, her face intrigued now.

“No. I’m not interested in selling it. I just wanted to know more about the girl.”

She rolled her eyes, obviously disappointed that I wouldn’t sell her the book. She flipped through the pages once more.

“There’s not much to tell. I’m not really familiar with the name Rebecca Foster. Alexander Foster on the other hand is a whole other story. If this had been his book we would really have something to talk about.”

Time seemed to grind to a halt in that moment. My heart stopped and I could almost hear the blood rushing through my veins and pulsing behind my ears.

“What? How do you know Alex?” I asked bewildered. Is it possible that I had gone this long, desperate to know something about him and he was some kind of local celebrity?

Her face twisted up like she was confused and then she laughed. “I seriously doubt that we are talking about the same person. Unless you know many witches from the seventeenth century.”

“Oh.” I breathed and my heart began to pick up a normal rhythm. “I wonder if Alex is related to him?” I suddenly realized that I was thinking aloud.

“Who’s Alex?” Paige stepped in, looking curious.

I didn’t know how to answer. Were we dating? It didn’t really seem like it in some ways, but in others it seemed like we were so much more.

“You know the guy I saw in the store a while back?” I asked to jog Paige’s memory. Her eyes immediately widened.

“We’ve been…hanging out,” I admitted, my face flushing.

“What? How could you not tell me this until now?” she said, looking thoroughly annoyed. I was afraid I had pushed poor Paige too far for one night.

“Sorry,” I said. “I just didn’t want to jinx it. He’s kind of flighty. I wasn’t sure it would last until…” I trailed off. Was I sure it was going to last now? I didn’t know. I hadn’t seen him in three days. That couldn’t be a good sign.

Noel cleared her throat, a disgusted look crossing her face. “If you’re done, could you two gush about boys somewhere else? I have a store to run.”

Paige laughed. “Yeah it really looks like you’re booming with business. Come on Rowan. She’s probably got somebody lined up to sacrifice later or something.”

Noel stormed across the store and held the door open. “That’s it. Get out.” I started to follow Paige out in a hurry but went back to grab my book from the counter. When I brushed past Noel she grabbed my arm. Her long black nails dug into my skin and her eyes rolled back in her head like she was having a seizure. The sudden burst of energy passing between us was enough to make my stomach roll. Her emotions were rushing into me in such a frenzy I couldn’t even identify what any of them meant.

“Hey!” I screamed, trying to pry her fingers from my flesh. She held tight for a moment and then finally let go. Gasping, she stumbled back against the door.

“What the hell is wrong with you Noel?” Paige shouted as she inspected my arm. Her nails had left swollen red imprints in the shape of tiny crescents; the only thing separating the blood from air was a thin layer of skin that hadn’t been broken.

Noel rubbed her hands over her face and slowly stood up as if she’d just fainted. She still looked a bit wobbly, but worse than that she looked terrified. I could barley think through the thick haze of shock and terror swirling around us. Once she had regained her balance, she took a step back from me, her face turning a lighter shade of white.

“How…you’re one of us?” she whispered in horror.

“One of who? What are you talking about?” I asked. What was this girl’s problem?

“He’ll die because of you. All because of a stupid little girl who knows nothing about who she really is.” She sounded disgusted. “What a waste.”

I took a deep breath and bit my lip trying not to remember the nightmare, but it came rushing back regardless. The feel of Alex’s lips, hard and smooth against mine. Alex wilting into a pile of ash as he pushed me away.

“Stay away from that book,” she said. “And if you’re smart, stay away from him.”

She slammed the door in my face leaving me stunned. Paige put her arm around me and guided me to the car. I hadn’t realized until that moment that I was shaking so badly that my teeth were chattering.

“Don’t listen to her Rowan. She’s a freak,” Paige said as I slipped into my seat. “You are nothing like her.” But even I could hear the doubt that dusted her voice. She was just as freaked out by the whole thing as I was. I stared down at the book in my lap unable to speak. Unable to breathe. One of them? Who the hell was I?

Aunt Marion has made it nearly impossible to get back to Rowan this week. She found me digging through mother’s books and now is suspicious. And with the midsummer sabbat on the horizon she has kept me busy with preparations for the celebration. She claims she is still ill and cannot find the strength to tend to them herself, but I know the truth. This is just another way to keep me contained. Then of course around every turn Annabel is there. Today she appeared while I was gathering herbs in the forest. She was in a pretty yellow dress that matched her hair, and giggled like a schoolgirl at my every word, touching my shoulder and smiling. But even with all her magic and all her charms, my eyes only see Rowan. Beautiful Rowan. Annabel is just a pawn in Marion’s game and I won’t play a part in it.

~ Alexander 1692

***

The nightmares were getting worse. The latest one had sent me careening back into consciousness screaming at around three thirty a.m. I’d been awake ever since. I glanced at the digital alarm clock across the room and calculated how much sleep I’d gotten in the last three nights. The grand total: five hours. Insomnia sucks, but nightmares have a way of sucking the life out of you, more than simply not getting enough sleep ever could. It was morning now and the sun was just beginning to filter in through the transparent yellow drapes that Grams had hung there the day before. The upstairs remodel had officially begun. I had a sneaking suspicion that she was just trying to drive me out of my room, but I wasn’t budging. It had been a full week since Alex had almost kissed me here in my bed. A full seven days with not so much as a phone call. But then again, he had never asked for my number. Or given me his for that matter. I felt silly and embarrassed for being so depressed over a boy whose phone number I didn’t even possess. I didn’t mean to sit and wallow alone in my room, but I couldn’t help it. The dark abyss was closing around me and the icy emptiness was filling me up once again. It didn’t help that I hadn’t heard from Dad or Cam all week either. Bevin’s texts had turned frantic. After the second day of her threatening to call the FBI if I didn’t respond, I finally sent her a quick message indicating that I was fine, just busy. She didn’t like that, but I was too empty to come up with something better. If I told her the truth, if she heard my voice she’d know. And I couldn’t have her worrying about me like that. The bright light pouring through the window was almost blinding me, leaving my vision blurred with dark black spots blooming across my eyes, so I rolled over and buried my face into my pillow. It was damp like my hair. I felt sticky and hot as I kicked the blankets away trying to get some air. Why was it so freaking hot? I could barley breath. I peeked up at the curtains. It was like they were intensifying the sunshine as it spilled mercilessly through the glass. I felt like an ant roasting beneath a magnifying glass in the summer sun.

I groaned and rolled out of bed to head to the shower. Grams was pounding on the other side of the wall with a hammer. Probably hanging some more of the knock-off artwork she had picked up in town the day before, then spread across my bed demanding my opinion. She let me choose one for my room so I picked a reprint of Van Gogh’s Starry Night. Grams didn’t protest because it matched the drapes. I left the rest of the paintings of cherubs, floral patterns and half-naked couples wrapped in warm embraces to be scattered through the rest of the house. I stared at the painting that was now hanging above my bed. The night sky littered with swirling clouds, blazing stars scattered all around. The big crescent moon. Below the horizon a peaceful town was tucked away beneath the hills. The cool dark colors illuminated the fiery windows, making it seem like a place you might want to run away to. The houses looked welcoming in the uncertain mystical night. It was beautiful and dark. And it fit everything I was feeling inside.

Even my shower had ceased to be a place of refuge for me. As I worked the vanilla scented shampoo through my hair, all I could think of was Alex. How he had touched every surface of the tiny space I was in. The feel of his fingers in my hair. I started to imagine him there with me, but quickly dismissed the thought when my innocent cheeks began to burn. Bevin was right. I was too innocent for my own good. If I couldn’t even get through a fantasy how was I ever going to get through the real thing when it happened? If it ever happened. To be honest I was starting to have my doubts. I wiped my palm across the condensation-covered mirror to get a glimpse of my reflection. Blah. It was the only word I could think to describe myself. My face looked pale and sallow and the dark circles gathering under my eyes were becoming constant evidence of my sleepless nights. I placed my hands on either side of my face and stretched my skin back to hide the imperfections. If only I could sleep. Even just for a few hours. I’d thought about asking Grams for some sleeping pills but I didn’t think she’d go for it. She was still very much a hippy at heart and didn’t believe in anything that wasn’t organic. Mom didn’t believe in sleeping pills either. That was another reason I seemed to be shying away from the idea. But now as I looked at myself in the foggy mirror I threw everything to the wind. I would get dressed and go into town to a pharmacy to get some mild sleeping pills. Grams wouldn’t have to know. And Mom…well she would just have to be mad from wherever she was up there.

After I dressed I plastered a forced smile onto my face in case I ran into Grams on the way out, but to my relief I was alone when I hit the bottom step. I could hear a faint rustling sound upstairs. Grams was still hard at work on the remodel, which meant Grandpa was manning the store. I grabbed my keys and purse and slipped out the front door before she could notice. She wouldn’t be upset. She’d probably be relieved that I’d decided to venture back out into the world. The sun was now barely visible as it peeked out behind a patch of fluffy white clouds that were drifting lazily across the sky. I pulled my arms around myself as a chill slipped down my spine. I hadn’t really been paying attention as I approached my car. Because if I had I would have seen him. My breath caught in my throat as I reached out to grab my door handle and a familiar voice stopped me in my tracks.

“Good morning.” Alex was leaning against my car just a foot from where I stood. He was wearing a black t-shirt instead of a white one. He had an easy grin spread across his face and his arms were folded casually across his chest as if we’d seen each other every day for the past week. I didn’t return his smile. Instead I jerked the door open and climbed inside without a word. I tossed my purse onto the passenger seat and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes and tried to calm the way my heart was pounding in my chest. It was useless. I reached out to pull my door shut, but Alex’s warm fingers wrapped around my wrist to stop me. A spark of heat fizzled up through my arm and I shivered.

“Rowan? What’s wrong?” He sounded genuinely concerned as he crouched down on the driveway just outside my door. I stared straight ahead, my eyes blurring with tears. I was too tired to do this anymore. To have him show up like this and twist me into knots then disappear without a word or any kind of explanation for his strange behavior. Why couldn’t I like someone normal like Tyler? Why did I have to let him affect me this way?