Perfect on Paper (7 page)

“Because you have a vision. You’re building something.”

“I guess. I kind of wish I could just go for a manicure, though.”

“So, why don’t you?”

“Because I’ll ruin it in two seconds. I work with my hands.”

“You have beautiful hands as is. You don’t need a manicure.”

“That’s nice of you to say,” Nadine said, examining her nails. “But you’re dead wrong. I have man hands.”

“You most definitely do
not
have manly looking hands. You are the epitome of femininity,” David said, self-conscious suddenly that he had overstepped. He approached her desk and took her hands in his, as though he’d been invited to inspect for himself.

Nadine’s palms were soft, her fingers long and lean.

* * * *

That night, Nadine went home to her beautiful town house, haunted by David’s observations about materialism. Did she need to live in the same big home she had once shared with Allan? She could downsize and save more money that way. But it would be a step down and she’d had so many of those in the past couple of years.

She called Marnie.

“How’s the boy toy?” Her best friend sure knew how to cut to the chase.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You like him.”

“I can’t help it. I don’t have time for a real relationship. This is the best I’ve got.”

“Hell, it’s better than me. Don’t knock it.”

“I’m not,” Nadine said, pouring herself a glass of water. “I don’t know what to do, though. I mean, he’s a student. He works for me.”

“Meh,” Marnie said.

“What does that mean?”

“It means
meh
. So what? Who cares? Have some fun. It’s not going to kill you.”

“But…”

“What? You could lose your job? It’s a shit job, Nadine. You don’t want it anyway.”

“Damn it, you’re right.”

“And don’t go telling me that whole principled bullshit about age. Allan was age appropriate and perfect on paper, but the guy was a dick.”

“I know.”

“Don’t date another dick,” Marnie admonished.

“David’s not a dick.”

“That’s why I’m saying go for it. I saw the way he looked at you. I don’t think you get a lot of chances in life with non-dicks who look at you like that. Know what I’m saying?”

“But…”

“Don’t be sensible, Nadine. For once in your life, don’t be sensible. I mean, I love you and all but I can’t stand by and watch you go through another Allan scenario. Let’s never repeat that. But I also can’t sit idly by and watch you deny yourself something that could be great just because you—like me—need to have everything seem perfect on paper. Life is not paper.”

Nadine thought of David. She thought he would enjoy that line. He would agree with it. But as far as showing him how she felt went, she was lost.

Chapter Nine

Nadine noticed that David did everything to satisfy her demands and worked as though his life depended on it. Was there more to it than job performance and work ethic? If she wanted a skid cleared in four hours, he did it in three. If she wanted the warehouse tidied, he color coded boxes and invented new systems.

One Thursday afternoon Nadine snuck up on him collapsing boxes for recycling. When she spoke, he seemed shocked, as though he had not noticed she’d been standing behind him.

“What are you doing this weekend?” she asked. She tried to sound casual and objective, as though he could easily have plans that did not involve her.

“Me? Um. Not much. You?” He could not disguise his nervousness.

“I just got Apple TV. I might watch a movie,” she said.

He nodded. “That sounds lovely.”

“Yeah.”

“Alone?” David asked.

“Maybe. Unless. Well, would you like to come over?” Nadine was shocked at herself. She wished she could have recorded the moment for Marnie. No way would her best friend believe that she had actually asked him over.

“Yes,” David exclaimed. “I mean, sure. Yeah. That sounds good.”

“Great.”

“Great.”

* * * *

David was tremulous walking up the front steps of the heritage house. It was the first time he’d gone to the home of a woman who didn’t live with her parents or in a dorm. When he knocked on the door, he felt sweaty.

“Come in,” she said, holding a glass of white wine. “Let me take your jacket.”

“Thanks,” he said. Then, looking around, he added, “Nice place.”

“I’ll get you some wine and show you around.” Nadine paused and added, “Or water or soda or something.”

“I’ll take wine,” he said, his palms desperately wet. He followed her into the kitchen where she poured him a glass. He’d never tried white wine before.

“The house is sort of neat,” Nadine explained. “It’s got three suites, but it isn’t divided by floors, like most shared houses. I’ve got three little floors. Here’s my kitchen and living room and upstairs is the bedroom.”

David thought he blushed when he thought of her bed. “What’s downstairs?” he asked.

“Oh, my business.”

This was definitely the opening David had been waiting for. “What is it that you do outside of the bookstore?”

“I restore antique furniture.”

David pictured the sexy goddess using a sanding block. He couldn’t imagine her actually doing physically intensive work like that, so his vision was rather porn inspired. He saw her in overalls with nothing underneath. He smiled at his own imagination.

“Oh.” All of the blood cells in David’s body rushed to his cock and he felt himself stiffen beneath the constraints of his jeans, so he casually turned toward the counter and hid his pelvic area from Nadine’s view. What was it about the idea of her working with wood that turned him on so much? When he was quite young he’d seen a
Playboy
at a friend’s house and the girl in the picture had been wearing nothing but a tool belt. He hadn’t been able to think of women and tools together since without recalling that sight.

“Is that weird? Should I not have told you?” Nadine asked, suddenly coming across as much more vulnerable than at work.

“I’m glad you told me. Believe me. I’m just, uh, surprised, I guess. I pictured you as more of a girly girl. Don’t get me wrong. It’s really cool that you work with wood.”

David wanted to kick himself for how that had come out. He added, “I just mean it figures that this is what your business would be.”

“What do you mean it figures? You just said you never would have guessed.”

“All I said was I was surprised. That’s all.”

Nadine beckoned him to follow her into the living room. When she flopped down on the couch in front of him in a perfectly effortless way, David sat on the ottoman next to the couch. His posture was stiff.

“Can I be frank?” he asked.

“Sure.”

“You’ve got this energy about you. It’s kind of…well…it’s kind of all-consuming.”

“Oh, please.” She brushed off his compliment with an elegant flick of the wrist. But as he sat across from her, she enquired further, “What do you mean?”

“I mean that ever since you put that coffee in front of me, I’ve been trying to figure out why.”

Nadine laughed as she leaned on the back edge of the couch. She relished his attention, craved it like a perfect dessert to end a fine evening.

“It’s true,” David said. “I can’t pay attention in my classes. I might as well drop out.”

“And do what?”

“Worship at your feet.”

She laughed again. David was mesmerized by Nadine’s incredible laugh—sincere and from the belly. It was nothing like the insecure giggles of girls his age. He saw in her something else entirely. She was a goddess in the real sense of it. She was an untouchable. It was taboo for mere boys to try to seduce real women. Everyone knew that. Sure, now and then you had your Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore scenarios but such couplings invited scorn and criticism or outright mockery and always ended. Either way, it was not understood—not like David understood it—sitting there, across from Nadine, completely transfixed by her.

“You think I’m joking, don’t you?”

“Yes, a little,” Nadine said.

She was being perfectly honest. She really couldn’t imagine how smitten David was with her because she had forgotten what puppy dog love was like. But in this moment, she felt alive again. She felt a flourish in her belly. He moved in closer to her, so close that she felt his knee brush against hers. She felt his desire to kiss her. She could see it in his faraway gaze and she wanted so badly to give in and let her mouth do what it wanted, but she couldn’t let go of that part of her that nagged her with reason.
He’s too young. You work together. It could never go anywhere.

She sat up and her body was firm, maybe even rigid. It clearly jolted David back into alert awareness and immediate awkwardness. He took a step back.
I’ve ruined it.
She had sabotaged the best thing that had happened to her in a long time.

“David,” she said, trying to ease the moment. “Sorry,” she whispered.

He looked down. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I think I jumped to some kind of wrong conclusion.”

“You didn’t,” she said abruptly. “David, I like you. I’m just aware of some key facts that, uh, well, keep this from being able to be a thing.” She waved her right hand back and forth in the air, gesturing at the two of them. She shook her head.

“Why did you invite me here tonight?” David said in a tone that was hard to decipher.

“David,” she began.

“Stop saying my name,” he interrupted. “I know what it means when women do that.”

“What?”

“That you’re going to tear my heart out and eat it.”

“Um, did you just accuse me of cannibalism?” She gave him a look of sarcastic chagrin.

He looked mortified as though he had suddenly realized what he’d said. He laughed. “That’s not what I meant,” he explained. He got up and moved to the couch.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry if I sent mixed messages. I don’t think anything can happen here because… Well, I’m considerably older than you.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” He said it playfully, teasingly. She couldn’t help but smile too when she saw him beaming at her.

“And we work together,” she argued.

“Not really. I’m on contract and, in fact, yesterday was my last shift.”

“But you’ll be back at the beginning of next semester.”

“Not if you don’t want me to,” David said.

“But it’s the best job on campus. You’d be an idiot not to come back. And you got a great performance review, so you know they’ll ask you back.”

“Maybe so, but if you didn’t want me to come back, I would not come back. That’s what I’m saying.”

“Really?”

“Nadine, I’d do pretty much anything for you.”

“What?” She cocked her head to one side and stared at him. “Nobody’s ever said anything like that to me before.”

“There is no way that’s true. You are a liar, Nadine Baxter.” His tone was sardonic, his face stern with mockery at her self-deprecation.

“I’m not. I’m being perfectly serious,” she insisted.

She giggled in spite of her words. She couldn’t help herself. The moment was suddenly hilarious to her. She felt so young all of a sudden.

“Well, I would do anything for a chance to get to know you a little better, even if it meant having to work twice as many hours somewhere else.”

Her heart throbbed inside her chest. The sincerity in his eyes told her everything she needed in that moment. She needed nothing else but that feeling of certainty that this was right. She leaned in and kissed him. The second her lips touched his, he threw his arms around her and pulled her in close.

They settled into an embrace on the couch in Nadine’s living room, where it was plush and warm, a little nest in the cold of autumn.

“What movie would you like to watch?”

“You choose,” David said.

“I’ve been working my way through Hitchcock lately. I don’t know if that’s something you’re interested in.”

“I love Hitchcock. When I was in twelfth grade, I spent a whole paycheck on a pass to the Hitchcock film festival.”

He regretted referencing high school immediately. He did not want to add that that had been just a few years ago.

“Have you seen
Spellbound
?”

“Yes, but I’ll watch it again.”

“Well, if you’ve seen it we can watch something else.”

“No,
Spellbound
is perfect.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You haven’t seen it?”

“No.”

“We have to see that one, then.”

David was relieved.

“More wine?” she asked.

“Please,” he said.

She went to the kitchen for refills. When she came back, she said, “You look comfortable.” He had both arms spread out, one on the armrest, the other—suggestively—at the top of the couch, beckoning for her to sit down beside him and let him cradle her.

Nadine could not wait to feel David’s arm around her. Watching the movie was just a formality. She’d have been happy to skip it. She sat down next to him and slowly, without seeming too eager, eased herself into the warm and safe comfort of his embrace. She could barely concentrate on the film but she was in heaven.

* * * *

By the time the movie was over, Nadine had fully curled up into David’s embrace. There was no mistaking it. They were cuddling. He had been so hyper aware of her beside him all throughout the movie. He was glad that he’d already seen the movie before because otherwise he would have had no idea what it was about. The smell of her hair was intoxicating and when he looked down, he could see her cleavage. He wondered if she was aware of how she’d positioned herself. Did she want him to see it? Did she want to torture him?

Nadine turned off the television and sat up, leaning against the other armrest, though their bodies were still touching.

“I’m so glad I asked you to come over tonight,” she said.

“Me too,” he said.

“Maybe we can do it again sometime.”

Sometime
. It was the kiss of death, David thought. It really meant
never
. He didn’t want to settle for that. He needed something more.