Perfect Fit: Book 4 of the Fated Hearts Series (17 page)

“Please tell me you have condoms in your bag.” I growled the words against his throat as I stroked his hard length. I didn’t wait for him to answer before I dropped to my knees and took him into my mouth. Miller made no attempt to hold back the excited noises he made and I wanted to pull more sounds out of him.

I worked his cock until he legs began to shake and his balls retracted. I released his dick from my mouth and began looking around in his bag for supplies. “Side pocket,” Miller said breathlessly. I found the supplies and slid the condom down until it was snug around the base of his erection. “It’s so much sexier when you do that,” he said once I rose to my feet with the bottle of lubricant in my hand.

I turned around, leaned over, and placed my palms on the vanity so that I could present my ass to him. My eyes met his in the mirror and stayed locked on him while he prepared my ass with oiled fingers. It felt so good that I wanted to close my eyes, but I didn’t want to miss a second of the way he looked as he took me. My breath whooshed out of me as he pressed inside me with one stroke. The slight burn of his claiming excited me almost as much as the feral look on his face when he bottomed out inside me. He loved the feel of my tight clinch around him as he worked himself in and out – slowly at first and then hard and fast once the need to come overtook him.

I had watched Miller take me many times, but there was something altogether different about watching in a mirror. I was attached and engaged with my body, but my brain treated the coupling like it was watching from afar. I could only take my eyes off of his face when I wanted to see his hands on my body. I loved the way he gripped my hips while he pulled me back onto him again and again. He moved his hands up to my chest so he could pinch and tease my nipples, which tugged some invisible string that must have been connected to my balls.

My senses were threatening to short circuit my brain, but Bones wasn’t done with me yet. He slid his arms beneath my pits and bent his arms so that they hooked under and around my shoulders. He placed both of his hands over my neck similar to some wrestling move I saw once on TV. He laid his chest against my back until I was completely surrounded by his heat. His hot breath puffed against the back of my ear as he fucked me with a vigor he hadn’t showed me before then.

Our eyes met once again in the mirror and I thought I saw an answer to the questions about how he felt about me. Yes, there was raw lust and an animalistic drive to come, but there was more. There was a depth of feeling that he hadn’t shown me until then and I had hope that he might love me too. Miller stood up on his tiptoes and changed the angle of his penetration so that he pegged my prostate in just the way I needed to explode all over the vanity after a few more strokes. My forceful orgasm caused my ass to squeeze his dick hard enough to tip him over the edge right after me.

Miller rested his forehead between my shoulder blades as our hard breathing echoed around the small space. He dropped a kiss on my shoulder before he eased his softening penis from my body. I slowly stood up and turned to face him. I expected him to remove his soiled condom and begin to clean up, but instead he pulled me to him for a kiss. He seemed completely unconcerned that quite a few people could be making their way into the house in search of a bathroom to change in. The hope I had soared to levels I hadn’t experienced in many years, making it hard for me to breathe.

I just knew in that moment that things would work out for us. The touching and kissing continued while I cleaned up my spunk spillage and he disposed of the condom before we got dressed. I opened the door and was about to suggest we blow off the party and start one of our own as I walked out, but I saw Ben and Xavier enter the hallway leading to the bathroom. There was no mistaking what Miller and I had just done, because we were still sorting out our hair and straightening our clothes when we stepped into the hallway.

“I’ll be damned,” Ben said with a smirk on his face.

I could feel Miller tense beside me and the happiness and hope I experienced a few minutes before faded away. “Shut the fuck up.” I aimed my frustration at Ben rather than Miller, because I wasn’t sure what else to do. I watched in regret as Miller walked away without a backward glance. Ben looked at me with sympathy in his eyes, letting me know that he was onto the way I felt about Miller. I wasn’t prepared to discuss it with anyone so I followed after Miller without another word.

I found him sitting beneath an umbrella drinking a bottle of water. I figured he could use something stronger so I snatched two beers out of the cooler and sat down beside him. His eyes met mine briefly when I slid the bottle to him. I longed to kiss the worry away that was evident in his creased brow and the frown on his firm lips. I started to worry too that it might be the end of us. I opened my mouth to speak, but Gram stood up and announced that she was getting married. Her statement was followed by a lot of cheering and chatting and I used the distraction to turn Miller’s attention back on me.

I found that I was unwilling to walk this tightrope with him anymore. I wanted to be with him and I was tired of hiding it. It made me feel like Gray’s feelings were more important than mine or he was ashamed of being with me. Either one made me feel less than human; I finally believed that I deserved better and was no longer willing to play his games.

“You did know getting caught was a risk that we faced when we decided to fuck in our friends’ bathroom, right?” Miller nodded slightly, but avoided looking into my eyes. “Was that a deal breaker for you, Miller? Are we over?” I was direct and to the point, placing the ball solidly in his court. He was the one with all the rules from the very beginning so I was letting him decide our fate. He jerked his head up as if I had shocked him. If anything, his worried expression intensified at my questions.

“Is that,” his voice cracked and he cleared his throat, “what you want, Jag?”

“No, but you’re deflecting by answering my question with a question.” I looked him square in the eyes and didn’t so much as blink in way of movement. “Is the possibility of Ben or Xavier telling the Wrights about us a deal breaker? Is your friendship with Gray more important than what we’ve built together?” I wanted to take back the words as soon as they left my mouth. I found myself holding my breath as I waited for a response.

“Are you asking me to choose?”

“That isn’t what I asked you. Again, you’re deflecting.” There was no disguising my irritation. I figured his unwillingness to answer was his answer. “Look, why don’t I just make this really easy for you, Bones.” I started to stand up, but his hand on my leg stopped me.

“Don’t go.” The plea I heard in his voice stopped me. “I just didn’t want him to find out this way.” I eased back down into my chair and covered his hand where it remained on my leg. “I l-l-like what we have together and Gray finding out isn’t a deal breaker for me. Just let me tell him in my own way, okay.” My heart stuttered in my chest when I thought Miller was going to use a different L word instead of “like.” Miller
liked
what we had while I was
in love
with him. There was a world of difference between the two.

I nodded and looked over to where Ben and Xavier were snuggling on a chaise together as the sky darkened. I wanted to be able to hold Miller that way, but settled for linking my fingers through his beneath the table at that moment. It was a tiny step toward the right direction for us. I found myself staring at his lips and wishing I could kiss him under the starlit sky.

The first explosion of fireworks lit up the sky and everyone turned to look upward. I chose to watch their reflection in Miller’s brilliant eyes instead. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him just how much he meant to me, but I wouldn’t risk pushing him any further than I already had that night. Miller felt my attention on him and looked away from the firework display to look into my eyes. I knew that he could feel and see my intensity. A beautiful smile lit up his face, brighter than any pyrotechnic explosion in the sky. The hope I had felt earlier returned and intensified. I needed to be alone with him, to wrap myself so tightly around him that just maybe I could hold onto him with more than just my body. I wanted to wrap myself around his heart until his every heartbeat became mine. The level of sappiness I felt was making me feel a little nauseous, but I pushed on.

“Come home with me, Bones,” I said, leaning into him.

“As if there was ever a doubt, Jag.”

I LOVED THE
month of July. It was the one month I took off from the university and it was normally spent on a beach chasing sexy, tight and scantily clad asses. Once I met Jag, I still noticed the other guys on the beach, but he was the only sexy, tight, and scantily clad ass I wanted.

I had talked him into taking off a week from his busy schedule and going on vacation with me. It was seven days filled with sun, sand, and sex that was hot enough to singe the hair on my arms and legs. We kept our phones turned off and focused solely on one another and dear God in heaven I loved being his sole focus. I was going to turn into a sappy, lovesick fool if I wasn’t careful and that would surely push him away from me. We had a beautiful thing going and I didn’t want anything to ruin it.

My promise to tell Gray about us lingered in the back of my mind and was the only dark spot on an otherwise perfect vacation. I wasn’t stupid enough to think that what Jag and I had was still a casual hookup, but I wasn’t brave enough to discuss it with him. It seemed to me that we were both completely happy with how things were going and there was no need to hash out feelings and slap a label on it. It wasn’t the way we operated.

I was undeniably in love with him; I was pretty sure he felt the same way about me. It could’ve been wishful thinking on my part, but the look in his eyes when he held me or the way he reached for my hand as we strolled down the beach told me I was right. I convinced myself that he knew how I felt about him too and that we didn’t need to say the words. Things changed once those words were spoken and I didn’t want or need anything to change. I had him and that was all I wanted – or so I thought.

Our vacation went by too quickly and we were forced to return to real life. Jag spent long hours catching up on his cases in the weeks that followed and the next thing I knew it was mid-August. He had made as much time for us as he could and I did my best to properly express my appreciation to him. It was time for me to get serious about the new school year with the fall semester closing in on me so I started spending longer days in my office with Gavin.

Jag didn’t care for all the time I spent with my TA and I tried to hide how much I loved his feelings of jealously and possessiveness, but he made it so hard when I loved to be reminded who owned my ass. Jag’s possessive feelings didn’t make me feel like my life was in danger, but I couldn’t say the same about my heart. My acceptance of our quid pro quo had changed somewhere along the way and I suddenly needed more from him. I wanted the words. I needed to know if he saw a future with me. I also knew in my heart that I was the person holding us back because I still hadn’t told Gray about us.

If I wanted Jag to see a future with me then I needed to give him something to believe in. I wasn’t foolish to believe that he suddenly believed he was worthy of a life of love. A year had almost passed since we had sex for the first time after we ran into each other in that restaurant. Even though our exclusivity began about three months later, I considered us together since our first time. Jag had confessed to me one night while soaking in the bathtub that he hadn’t been with anyone else since our first time. I confessed that the same was true with me.

“You ruined me for all other men,” I told him, as I lounged against him. “I guess you’re stuck with me now.”

“I’ll gladly serve my penance, Bones.” Jag kissed my temple sweetly and ran his hands up and down my chest. “You’ve been the best thing to ever happen to me.” It was the closest to a confession of love I got from him and I gladly took it. He slid his hands between my spread thighs and cupped my balls firmly in his hands. “If you ever refer to me as bae, I will twist these clean off.” He squeezed my sac a little harder to emphasize his threat.