Perfect (34 page)

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Authors: Ellen Hopkins

Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Social Issues, #Drugs; Alcohol; Substance Abuse, #Self-Esteem & Self-Reliance, #Dating & Sex

BOOK: Perfect
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Holy shit. It’s Conner.

By the time I get my ticket

and go inside, he has hooked
up with some strange people,
including one majorly hot

lady, who looks to be about

thirty-five. Damn that Conner.

Not only does he have a thing
for older women, they seem
to have a thing for him. At least,

that one does. She takes his arm,

leads him away. Whispers

something into his ear that
makes him laugh. But I have
to say, he looks uncomfortable.

Maybe because of Kendra.

She wanders up, all weird and
shaky.
Hey. Thanks for coming.
Guess you saw who I was
talking to. He looks better,
right?
She sways a little, and

I think I might have to catch

her. “I suppose. But since
he was, like, bleeding out
when he went to the hospital,

he’d almost
have
to look

better. Come to think of it,

though, he looked well
enough to be back in school.
Why isn’t he? And who were

those people he was with?”

I don’t know.
She sighs. But
I’m not sure which question
she doesn’t have the answer
to.
The movie’s going to start.
Do you want some popcorn?

Does That Mean She’s Buying?

I’m kind of afraid to joke

with her, so I won’t ask.
She’s sad, seeing Conner.
I guess I understand.

I would be sad, seeing Cara

right now. Especially if

she was having fun with
other people. Unfamiliar
people. Especially a new

guy. God, I’ve got to stop

beating myself up inside

my head. And I don’t
suppose I should mention
the older woman thing.

Conner wouldn’t be out

in public with one he was

doing, anyway. Would he?
Maybe she was the girl’s
mom. But then, who was

the girl? And the guy?

And Why Do I Care?

I get a Coke and Kendra goes

for diet. No surprise. I spring
for a big tub of popcorn.
“Butter?” Kendra shakes

her head, but when she isn’t

paying attention, I ask for

it anyway. Hey, I’m buying.
Kendra keeps looking toward
the corridor Conner disappeared

into. Hoping he’ll materialize.

The attendant points us

down the opposite hallway.
Kendra goes first. I watch
her walk, all spindly like

an aspen sapling wobbling

in the wind. She is model

pretty. And death-camp thin.
Don’t guess she’d appreciate
me telling her that. None

of my business anyway.

The previews have already

started by the time we get
inside. We find our seats
in the semi-dark, stumbling

up the stairs to the very back,

tripping over purses and feet.

Scary Movie 666
is pretty
much like all the other
Scary Movie
s, except with

more devil stuff. Entertaining

enough, for crap. Kendra,

who wanted to see this
dumb movie, might be
staring at the screen, but

she doesn’t react to the funny

parts, doesn’t jump when

she should. And she hasn’t
touched the popcorn. Glad
I got butter. And I’m also

glad this isn’t a real date.

We Sit Watching

The credits roll. People filter

past us, down the stairs, out
the doors. And still we sit
here. The popcorn bucket

is less than half full, thanks

completely to me. “You sure

you don’t want a little? Hate
for good popcorn to go to
waste.” Not that it was really

that good. Kind of stale, in fact.

Kendra shakes her head.
No
thanks. I’m not really hungry.
Anyway, we’re supposed to
have a family dinner tonight.
That usually means lots of carbs.

I can’t help myself. “You could

probably use a few carbs. But
I know what you mean. Aunt
Mo is big on the pasta, and

I’m a protein kind of guy.”

She lets the carbs remark go
on by.
You look great. Beefed
up a lot. Which reminds me,
do you know anything about
Clen?
She’s talking Clenbuterol.

“Uh. It’s a steroid, right? Why

would I know anything about
that, other than the stuff I’ve
read about people using it for

weight loss? You’re not thinking

about using it, right? Because

if you lost any more weight,
you’d flat not even be here.
Jesus, Kendra.” I’m not sure

her body could handle Clen.

She ignores everything I just
said.
It would help me gain
muscle, though, right? Then
maybe I could eat more
without putting on poundage.

Point Taken

I tell her I’ll look into it for

her. I’ve got to visit Chad
for a refill myself. I probably
should take some time off,

but what the hell? I need

something to get my bat hot

again. One more cycle and
I can lay off for a while.
When the lights come up,

we get to our feet. Kendra

moves about like a tortoise.

I bet a little food could
help her walk faster.
But when we start down

the hall, she keeps looking

around, and I realize she’s

being deliberately slow,
hoping for another glimpse
of Conner. Damn, she’s got

it bad for him. Stupid girl.

Andre

A Glimpse

Of greatness should inspire

the desire to attain greatness

too. So why, then, do

I

mostly feel intimidated

by my father, whose success

I covet? Is it because I

am afraid

to attempt, and fail?

Or do I somehow find

comfort in failure?

To

face a competitor and lose

is expected sometimes.

No shame. But if I

take

a shot at a personal best

and come up short, it means

maybe I’m delusional to take

a chance

on myself.

Breakfast This Morning

Was unusual. Dad, Mom, and me, all

at the same table.

It was orchestrated, the two of them

double-teaming me.
You graduate in nine

weeks,
said Mom.
What

course have you decided to embark upon?

Okay, just semantically, the sentence

irritated me. “Are you talking

‘course,’ as in course of study, or ‘course,’

as in a river’s course, or the course of my life?”

I wasn’t trying to be

snotty. Well, not
really
snotty. But go figure,

she took it that way. And Dad was already

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