Authors: Ellen Hopkins
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Social Issues, #Drugs; Alcohol; Substance Abuse, #Self-Esteem & Self-Reliance, #Dating & Sex
Holy shit. It’s Conner.
By the time I get my ticket
and go inside, he has hooked
up with some strange people,
including one majorly hot
lady, who looks to be about
thirty-five. Damn that Conner.
Not only does he have a thing
for older women, they seem
to have a thing for him. At least,
that one does. She takes his arm,
leads him away. Whispers
something into his ear that
makes him laugh. But I have
to say, he looks uncomfortable.
Maybe because of Kendra.
She wanders up, all weird and
shaky.
Hey. Thanks for coming.
Guess you saw who I was
talking to. He looks better,
right?
She sways a little, and
I think I might have to catch
her. “I suppose. But since
he was, like, bleeding out
when he went to the hospital,
he’d almost
have
to look
better. Come to think of it,
though, he looked well
enough to be back in school.
Why isn’t he? And who were
those people he was with?”
I don’t know.
She sighs. But
I’m not sure which question
she doesn’t have the answer
to.
The movie’s going to start.
Do you want some popcorn?
Does That Mean She’s Buying?
I’m kind of afraid to joke
with her, so I won’t ask.
She’s sad, seeing Conner.
I guess I understand.
I would be sad, seeing Cara
right now. Especially if
she was having fun with
other people. Unfamiliar
people. Especially a new
guy. God, I’ve got to stop
beating myself up inside
my head. And I don’t
suppose I should mention
the older woman thing.
Conner wouldn’t be out
in public with one he was
doing, anyway. Would he?
Maybe she was the girl’s
mom. But then, who was
the girl? And the guy?
And Why Do I Care?
I get a Coke and Kendra goes
for diet. No surprise. I spring
for a big tub of popcorn.
“Butter?” Kendra shakes
her head, but when she isn’t
paying attention, I ask for
it anyway. Hey, I’m buying.
Kendra keeps looking toward
the corridor Conner disappeared
into. Hoping he’ll materialize.
The attendant points us
down the opposite hallway.
Kendra goes first. I watch
her walk, all spindly like
an aspen sapling wobbling
in the wind. She is model
pretty. And death-camp thin.
Don’t guess she’d appreciate
me telling her that. None
of my business anyway.
The previews have already
started by the time we get
inside. We find our seats
in the semi-dark, stumbling
up the stairs to the very back,
tripping over purses and feet.
Scary Movie 666
is pretty
much like all the other
Scary Movie
s, except with
more devil stuff. Entertaining
enough, for crap. Kendra,
who wanted to see this
dumb movie, might be
staring at the screen, but
she doesn’t react to the funny
parts, doesn’t jump when
she should. And she hasn’t
touched the popcorn. Glad
I got butter. And I’m also
glad this isn’t a real date.
We Sit Watching
The credits roll. People filter
past us, down the stairs, out
the doors. And still we sit
here. The popcorn bucket
is less than half full, thanks
completely to me. “You sure
you don’t want a little? Hate
for good popcorn to go to
waste.” Not that it was really
that good. Kind of stale, in fact.
Kendra shakes her head.
No
thanks. I’m not really hungry.
Anyway, we’re supposed to
have a family dinner tonight.
That usually means lots of carbs.
I can’t help myself. “You could
probably use a few carbs. But
I know what you mean. Aunt
Mo is big on the pasta, and
I’m a protein kind of guy.”
She lets the carbs remark go
on by.
You look great. Beefed
up a lot. Which reminds me,
do you know anything about
Clen?
She’s talking Clenbuterol.
“Uh. It’s a steroid, right? Why
would I know anything about
that, other than the stuff I’ve
read about people using it for
weight loss? You’re not thinking
about using it, right? Because
if you lost any more weight,
you’d flat not even be here.
Jesus, Kendra.” I’m not sure
her body could handle Clen.
She ignores everything I just
said.
It would help me gain
muscle, though, right? Then
maybe I could eat more
without putting on poundage.
Point Taken
I tell her I’ll look into it for
her. I’ve got to visit Chad
for a refill myself. I probably
should take some time off,
but what the hell? I need
something to get my bat hot
again. One more cycle and
I can lay off for a while.
When the lights come up,
we get to our feet. Kendra
moves about like a tortoise.
I bet a little food could
help her walk faster.
But when we start down
the hall, she keeps looking
around, and I realize she’s
being deliberately slow,
hoping for another glimpse
of Conner. Damn, she’s got
it bad for him. Stupid girl.
Andre
A Glimpse
Of greatness should inspire
the desire to attain greatness
too. So why, then, do
I
mostly feel intimidated
by my father, whose success
I covet? Is it because I
am afraid
to attempt, and fail?
Or do I somehow find
comfort in failure?
To
face a competitor and lose
is expected sometimes.
No shame. But if I
take
a shot at a personal best
and come up short, it means
maybe I’m delusional to take
a chance
on myself.
Breakfast This Morning
Was unusual. Dad, Mom, and me, all
at the same table.
It was orchestrated, the two of them
double-teaming me.
You graduate in nine
weeks,
said Mom.
What
course have you decided to embark upon?
Okay, just semantically, the sentence
irritated me. “Are you talking
‘course,’ as in course of study, or ‘course,’
as in a river’s course, or the course of my life?”
I wasn’t trying to be
snotty. Well, not
really
snotty. But go figure,
she took it that way. And Dad was already