Penny Serenade (10 page)

“I can’t wait to see this moon garden,” he said. “I’ve never seen one.”

“It’s not that big of a deal,” she mumbled while getting out.

“You thought I’d be bored at the constellation show, and I thought it was great. So let me be the judge before you downplay it, okay?” He winked and rested his hand on her lower back.
“After you.”

His touch burned through her blouse and heated her skin. Whatever the reason for her sudden hesitation, it vanished as quickly as it had started. Audrey floated, rather than walked as she led him under the ivy woven arbor and into her backyard.

Agates and pebbles trailed alongside the house and opened up to a large covered patio. Two chaise lounges and a small bistro style dining set took up a good portion of the space. Beneath the garden window she had a water fountain made of bronze that allowed the water to pass through three lit bowls, turning the water a beautiful amber color. Some nights she thought it looked like dripping honey. Sheer cream colored drapes hung on either side of the patio walls and offered both privacy and elegance. She loved how they billowed in the gentle breeze. It was the perfect place to look out on her personal masterpiece. A garden kissed by the moon.

The intoxicating scent of jasmine filled the night air, and helped calm her nerves. She marveled at the beauty around her. Evening Primrose, Moonflowers, lilacs, and lavender were in full bloom. Trellises of moonflowers trailed the fence with silvery white lamb’s ear glowing like tiny beacons along the ground. Situated throughout the garden were statues of goddesses, and in the back corner she’d placed a wishing well.
 
Her garden, in its luminescent splendor, was an enchanted place.

In the peacefulness of the moment, she almost forgot Dominic was there. She looked at him, his body still and mouth agape. The soft plunking of the water fountain, the only sound she heard.

“What do you think?” She asked, unable to wait for him to speak first.

“Damn,” he said somewhat under his breath. “This is amazing. You did all of this yourself?”

She nodded. “It took awhile, but it was worth it.”

“No kidding. You have an incredible eye for beauty.”

Heat fanned her face. The nervous flops in her belly stilled. “Oh, I don’t know about that, but I like to surround myself with whatever makes me feel safe. Kind of like my shop.”

“Do I make you feel safe?” He turned to her, his body an arms length away.

She took a ragged breath in, not knowing how to respond. The better question would be if she trusted him, because she did. The safe part…was complicated. In his arms she felt like the world couldn’t touch her, but in another way she didn’t feel safe. She feared how far she’d allow herself to fall for him. And that made him dangerous.

The soft jasmine breeze sent shivers up her spine. “Ask me later,” she replied.

Dominic took another step forward and pressed his mouth to hers. The potency of his kiss managed to erase any earlier thoughts of their first meeting. And along with that, any hope of pushing him away. Instead she breathed into it, let the tension go, and kissed him back. This time they didn’t have an audience. Now if she could only get out of her headspace in thinking that she somehow didn’t deserve this.
That this kind of instant attraction was possible.
And she was indeed attracted.

She loved the feel of his hands along her body, the warmth they brought, and a security she kind of liked. Hands that steadied her and kept her grounded despite the rest of her that was riding on a sensational high.
Every touch triggering a response.
No one had ever kissed her so passionately.

She brought her body closer. Right up against him, and delighted in his obvious desire. Waves of dizziness followed and she had no choice but to cling to him. His lips slid from hers and made a beeline for her neck. The heat alone from his breath brought
a heaviness
in her belly. She let her head tilt back, a smile curving her mouth at the pleasurable shivers that coated her skin.

“Ticklish,” he murmured into her ear, causing more goose bumps to surface.

“No,” she whispered, knowing her voice failed any chance of convincing.

“I don’t believe you.”

She held back a girlish laugh and pressed her lips tight as his soft, sensuous mouth trailed the perimeter of her ear.

He chuckled as she squirmed.

“I’d say definitely ticklish.”

His warm, breathy words against her ear made it impossible for her to hold back. She let loose a hearty laugh and snuggled further into him. Her nipples were taut and aching to experience his flesh.

“God, I want you,” he said, his voice a seductive whirr.

She wanted him too. But, things were moving too fast, too soon. He lowered his face to between her breasts, and her clit throbbed. In a heartbeat his hands were everywhere at once. A warning bell sounded in her head and her body stiffened.
Too fast, too soon.
The mantra repeated in time with her erratic pulse. She wasn’t ready to let her guard down all the way. Not yet. Not if she really thought it through, and unfortunately she was doing far too much thinking right then.

Audrey pulled out of his embrace, hating the fear working its way through her body.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped. God, she was so very sorry to stop. “I have to put the brakes on here.”

“Okay,” he replied and swept her hair from her face. “That’s fine.”

Audrey studied the grooves in the patio floor. “I’m sorry. Honest. I didn’t mean to lead you on but things are heating up pretty fast here.” She couldn’t bear to look at him. Guilt stormed through her veins.

“They sure are,” he agreed. “It’s okay to stop.”

“Is it?” She met his gaze, trying to read it.
“Because I didn’t mean to let things go so far.”
With clumsy fingers she secured the buttons of her blouse.

He shrugged. “You don’t have to explain.”

“I feel like I do.” She hated the whiney sound of her voice, and didn’t know what the hell to do with her hands.

“I wasn’t expecting anything to begin with,” he said, “and I’m not upset. I had a great time tonight.” His smile was deceptive. Was he putting her on or was he sincere? She couldn’t tell.

Audrey reached for him, wrecked with confusion. She wanted him to stay but she’d regret it in the morning, she just knew it.

“It’s just that, you don’t fit in with my plans,” she said, her voice quivering. “I live a structured kind of life and have things the way I want them.”

His eyes fixed on hers. “Okay, I understood you before, and agree we’re moving too fast, but now I’m confused.”

That made two of them. She’d try to explain and see if she made any kind of sense. “I have an order in my life, and it has taken ages to get where I am. I can’t afford surprises or complications.
Of any kind.”

“So, are you saying something else here?” A frown marred his brow. “Are you saying that you don’t want to see me again? Is that where this is going?”

Had she said that? It wasn’t her intent. Or was it? “I…don’t know,” she stammered. Her mouth was so dry she had trouble forming words. “I’ve spent a lot of time sorting the stuff out in my life and I can’t let just anyone in.”

Words spilled from her lips all on their own and she didn’t know how to stop them. They sounded the opposite of what her heart wanted. Her chest tightened making it difficult to catch her breath. She didn’t want to push Dominic away but how could she be with him
and
keep any sense of control in her life?

“Did I do something wrong here?” He asked in a rough tone.

“No, you didn’t,” she insisted. “I own this. I’ve set up personal boundaries for myself, and created safe places to keep myself grounded. I even had a Feng Shui consultant come out and help decorate my house.”

His brows knitted. “I’m really lost now.”

“You’ve never heard of Feng Shui?” God, she’d turned into a babbling fool, unable to form a sentence.

“I’ve heard of it,” he grumbled, “but I don’t know what it means.”

“It’s a way to place objects in your home, in the right locations and places to give a sense of balance and clarity.” There was so much more to it, but she didn’t want to give him a lecture.

He frowned. “Okaay. And you needed someone to help you do that?”

“Well yes, but…Oh never mind. I’m not saying things the right way.” She took a deep breath in. “I enjoyed your company tonight but I don’t think now is a good time to get involved with you. This wasn’t even supposed to be a date, but it somehow turned into one.”

“So you aren’t interested in me? You can tell me. I’m an adult. I can take it.”

“I
am
interested in you,” she answered. She wished so much to take everything back. Right now she could be in his arms, their bodies naked and slick with sweat.

“But?”
He prompted.

“But you scare me in a way that makes me uncomfortable.”

After a long pause, he clicked his tongue. “Well, fuck.”

She hadn’t expected that comment, but it summed up her own thoughts too.

“I don’t know whether to be offended or not,” he continued. “Screw it. I’m going to go.”

“Wait, for some reason the words aren’t coming out right. It’s not like me, either, I’m usually very careful of what I say.”

“You’ve said plenty,” he stated. “You feel I’m in your way of progress. I get it.
Night.”

Audrey watched him storm off, torn between running after him and standing her ground. She hoped she’d made the right choice. It wasn’t the ending to her night she’d wanted. The sex would’ve been great, she knew it. He drew a strong combination of desire and need from her very core.
But why?
Why did he arouse her with such intensity? She had things the way she wanted. A home she loved, a good job where she could dabble in her writing, and she had her moon garden. Things were neat and orderly for the first time in what seemed like forever. To include Dominic into the equation, would serve only to disrupt her set routine. But dammit the man made her wet with his deep, powerful kisses.

Audrey angled her chin toward the moon. “I wish you were here, dad,” she whispered. “I never got that love speech from you when I was a teenager. I don’t know what I’m doing. I feel like I’m barely staying afloat. If you can hear me, I could really use a hug.” Eyes closed, she waited to feel her father’s safe embrace, or a warm breeze that let her know he was there. Nothing happened.

She sank down onto the chaise lounge and stretched her legs out. Tonight she’d seen her moon garden with a fresh perspective. Sharing it with Dominic made it even more special and beautiful.
 
She’d let him into the most sacred part of her life, and then slammed the door on him with a bunch of nonsense instead of honesty for an answer. Yes she wanted him. Yes she was interested in him, more than she understood. And yes, he scared her, because love wasn’t neat and organized the way she’d made the rest of her life.

Audrey had no idea what time it was when she crawled into bed. Had she not panicked and denied herself the pleasure of his company, she wouldn’t be lying in the bed all alone. On the flip side, had she been able to decline Dominic’s request to go out with him, she wouldn’t care that she was alone right now.

She pulled the sheets over her head and tried to block out the rays of the moon. She wasn’t a little girl anymore, and her father was gone. Nothing would soothe her tonight.

When she next opened her eyes, she found herself being assaulted by the bright sunlight pouring in from her window. With a groan she dragged her tired body from the bed and headed straight into the shower. Audrey rested her arm against the tile wall and leaned her head on it while the water flowed around her. She considered calling Heidi and taking a personal day for a change, but the thought of moping around the house didn’t sound like a good trade off.

Dried and dressed, she brewed up a cup of tea and forced down a muffin smothered in almond butter.

After about an hour at work, she cursed herself for not going with her first instinct to call Heidi. She didn’t want to be here. She wanted to be in bed and shut the world out. Audrey couldn’t concentrate on anything. Even the new shipment of tapestry patterned wind chimes didn’t elicit the same enthusiasm she had when she’d ordered them. Needing air she filled up the watering can and spent time in the front of the shop watering the plants and flowers. The irises near the door were stunning in full bloom with petals that reminded her of blue velvet. She had to stretch to her toes to get the hanging baskets, brimming full of tiny blue and lavender lobelia that trailed along the sides. She’d meant to stop by the local nursery to pick up some geraniums and pansies.
Maybe another time.