Peggy Gifford_Moxy Maxwell 02 (7 page)

chapter 57

In Which Mrs. Maxwell Asks What That Noise Is

“What's that noise?”
called Mrs. Maxwell.

There was a general silence.

Then Mark wandered into the hall with his camera, looking for a photo op. He knew something big was afoot.

chapter 58

The Case of the Flying Thank-you Notes

“What's this?” said
Mrs. Maxwell. She picked a blue thank-you note up off the floor. But her gloves were wet and it turned soggy right away. Another blue thank-you note flew by.

“Would someone please read that to me?” said Mrs. Maxwell pleasantly.

Granny George picked it up and passed it to Mark. Mark carefully placed his camera in Granny George's hands and rapidly read the note out loud.

“Dear-Thank-you-for-It-is-very-and-it-will-come-in-handy-I'll-use-it-for-various-things-like-and-In-case-you-want-to-thank-me-for-this-thank-you-note-please-wait-until-I-get-back-from-visiting-my-dad-in-Hollywood-I-will-be-there-for-six-and-a-half-days-Have-a-breathtaking-New-Year-Love-Moxy-Anne-Maxwell.”

chapter 59

In Which Mrs. Maxwell Calls Out (and Not for the First Time in Her Life), “Moxy Anne Maxwell!”

“Moxy Anne Maxwell!”

Moxy figured there was too much noise for her to hear her mother calling out her name, so she didn't reply.

When Moxy didn't reply, Mrs. Maxwell marched into the living room to find her. (Have you noticed how mothers always seem to
march
into rooms when you don't answer right away?)

chapter 60

In Which We Linger with Mrs. Maxwell to Give Moxy a Chance to Think of an Explanation for This Mess

As soon as
she saw the big “HANK YOU” spray-painted on her living room wall, Mrs. Maxwell collapsed onto the sofa and put her head between her knees and tried to breathe.

Here is the photograph Mark took of Mrs. Maxwell trying to breathe.

Mrs. Maxwell is somewhere in there with her head between her knees.

It was touch and go—Sam and Pansy thought she might faint. Mark was pretty sure she wouldn't. Moxy didn't have an opinion one way or the other.

That's because she was busy rocking in the rocking chair—which was where she did some of her best thinking.

chapter 61

In Which We Take a Chapter Off to Give Moxy a Little More Time to Think of an Explanation for This Mess

chapter 62

In Which the Unasked Question—” How could things get worse?”—Is Answered

You may have
been wondering how things could get worse.

Well, Ajax could walk in the front door.

chapter 63

In Which Ajax Walks in the Front Door

Ajax walked in
the front door.

“What's that noise?” he said to no one. Ajax often asked himself questions out loud. In this case, he already knew the answer: It was the sound of his new Christmas copier—the one
nobody
was supposed to touch.

Ajax didn't stop to take off his snowy coat and boots. He didn't look left or right. He walked right past the big “HANK YOU” sprayed in gold on the green wall—right past Mrs. Maxwell sitting in a heap with her head between her knees. He was following the flying blue thank-you notes.

chapter 64

Mrs. Maxwell Asks an Obvious Question

Mrs. Maxwell lifted
her head from between her knees. “What on earth is going on here?” she said.

“I'm writing my thank-you notes,” Moxy explained patiently.

Mrs. Maxwell raised her head a bit higher and took a good look around. “On the living room wall?”

chapter 65

In Which the Copier Stops and Ajax Sits in His Broken La-Z-Boy

After he turned
off his new Christmas copier, Ajax waded through 473 thank-you notes (Mark counted them later), accidentally stepping on a 21-inch pile of Important Papers as he went. Then he sighed, sank into his La-Z-Boy chair, and pulled the lever to bring the back up so he could take a better look around.

But the back didn't come up. It stayed flat on its back.

Then Ajax said to the copier and to the broken chair and to us, the reading audience, “Grown men don't cry,” and a pair of tears strolled down his left cheek.

He eased himself all the way back into his broken favorite chair and stared at the ceiling.

The ceiling could use a coat of paint,
he thought.

chapter 66

In Which Ajax Takes the Temperature of His New Christmas Copier

Ajax spent several
minutes trying to figure out how his office had turned into such an impressive mess in such a short time. He had only gone out to buy eggnog and the
Paris Review,
and yes, okay, on the way home he
had
stopped at the library to see if they had ordered his most recent book, and while he was there he
had
run into his best friend, Ted Bear, and it's true, they'd gotten a cup of coffee—or two—and discussed the future of children's literature.

But still and all, and all in all, he hadn't been gone
that
long.

Ajax struggled out of the chair, crossed the room to his new Christmas copier, and took its temperature with his hand. (It was quite hot.) Then he wandered back into the living room.

chapter 67

In Which Ajax Uses His Powers of Observation

Right away Ajax
noticed that there was something different about the living room. But what? He stood there thinking about it. Then his Powers of Observation kicked in.

“Why does that wall say ‘HANK YOU'?” he said.

“Well, it's the funniest thing,” said Moxy.

But no one laughed, although Granny George looked hopeful, as if she were waiting to be told a good joke.

“You see, I had this brilliant idea,” Moxy began again.

She waited, but no one asked what her brilliant idea was.

“Does anyone want to know what my brilliant idea was?”

Granny George raised her hand.

Mark took this picture of her:

“Since you asked, I'll tell you,” Moxy went on. “My brilliant idea was to save scads of time on my thank-you notes by writing ‘Dear' and ‘Thank you for whatever' and ‘Love, Moxy' on one piece of paper and then making copies of it.”

“You know you're not allowed to touch Ajax's new copier.
And,
” added Mrs. Maxwell, “I
know
you know you're not allowed to touch another can of spray paint until you're twenty-one. It says so on the refrigerator.”

“But it was for the Greater Good, Mother.”

“Who is the Greater Good?” asked Pansy.

“It's not a person,” said Moxy.
But what exactly is it?
Moxy asked herself. She couldn't quite remember.

“The Greater Good means…it has something to do with the fact…and so, which is why…”

chapter 68

The Greater Good Explained

Moxy looked at
Mark. Mark had taught her the phrase. He even knew what it meant. (Mark could have belonged to Mensa, which is a country club for geniuses, but he thought it was stupid.)

“Mark,” said Moxy, yawning, “would you please explain to everyone what ‘the Greater Good' is? I'm feeling a bit tired.”

“It means you do something you know is wrong in order to achieve something that is more important than the wrong thing is wrong.”

“And so, as you can see and in conclusion, that is why I was forced to break a couple of rules.” Moxy glanced at the gold “T” on Sam's shirt and the big “HANK YOU” on the green wall.

“What could be more important than obeying the Spray-Paint Rules?” said Mrs. Maxwell. Mrs. Maxwell was quite calm. But those of you who are familiar with Mrs. Maxwell from other stories know that when Mrs. Maxwell is quite calm, she is actually quite the opposite.

“Getting my thank-you notes done was more important—so I can go see Dad in Hollywood.” It was so obvious. Moxy didn't understand why her mother had to ask.

chapter 69

In Which Moxy Maxwell Learns What the Phrase “Saved by the Bell” Means

“Saved by the
bell” means your mother's cell phone rings just as she is about to yell at you.

Mrs. Maxwell's cell phone was playing the second round of “You Are the Sunshine of My Life” when she finally found it in the hall under her black winter coat in her caramel brown purse. It was wet, but she answered it anyway.

“Hello?” was all anyone heard her say before she drifted into Ajax's study so she could have some privacy.

chapter 70

A One-way Phone Conversation

Mrs. Maxwell was
so involved in her phone conversation, she hardly noticed the mess in Ajax's office. Nor did she notice that Mark was in the office too. He was behind Ajax's broken chair counting thank-you notes.

Because Mark could only hear his mother's side of the conversation, we can only hear his mother's side of the conversation.

The first thing Mrs. Maxwell said into her cell phone was “What did you say?”

This was followed by a 31-second pause—Mark timed it—while the other person talked.

Then Mrs. Maxwell said, “Do you know how long they've been looking forward to this?”

This was followed by a 134-second pause while the other person talked.

Then Mrs. Maxwell said, “No deal on earth is more important than seeing your children.”

This was followed by a 17-second pause.

Then Mrs. Maxwell said, “Mark and Moxy
are
the biggest deals of your life. And no, I don't care if the entire Old Testament is never made into a miniseries.”

Then Mrs. Maxwell hung up.

Then Mrs. Maxwell stared at the ceiling.

That ceiling could use a coat of paint,
she thought.

As soon as his mother left the room, Mark leaned his head against the right arm of Ajax's broken La-Z-Boy chair and tried not to cry.

chapter 71

In Which Moxy Forgives Her Mother

“Mother, you're looking
pale. Why don't you sit down?” said Moxy when her mother came back into the living room.

For the first time that day, Moxy and her mother agreed.

Mrs. Maxwell sat on the sofa.

“The gold spray paint on this wall”—Moxy gestured behind her—“and on Sam's new red Christmas shirt is not entirely your fault.”

“I'm relieved to hear it,” said Mrs. Maxwell.

Moxy could tell that her mother wasn't really listening.

“The thing is, if you hadn't given me thank-you notes that said ‘Thank You' on the front in big gold letters, I wouldn't have been forced to spray-paint ‘Thank You' on the notes I made with Ajax's copier, and”—Moxy finished her little speech in a hurry—“and the wall wouldn't say ‘HANK YOU.'”

“I see,” said Mrs. Maxwell.

“Oh, Mother, I knew you would!” Moxy was too tired to jump up and hug her mother. “And I promise, the very second Mark and I get back from Hollywood, Sam and Pansy will paint the living room wall.”

When her mother didn't reply, Moxy added, “Not just that wall—all the walls. In fact, this whole place could use some fresh paint. I noticed Ajax's ceiling was…”

Mrs. Maxwell couldn't bring herself to look at Moxy.

“And,” added Moxy, “I promise I'll finish all my thank-you notes while I'm in Hollywood. Dad will help me.”

Moxy could tell from her mother's expression—she was sort of staring at the wall that didn't say “HANK YOU” on it—that she
still
wasn't paying attention.

“Guess what else I'll do? I'll make Dad buy stamps and we'll
actually mail
every single thank-you note right from Hollywood.”