Past Lives (19 page)

“Can Jackie come?” she asked, timidly. I smiled.

“I’d be disappointed if she didn’t. This is her battle too.”

Giselle smirked.

“She’s pretty foxy, that one,” she said slyly, and I laughed. I’d never had the chance to talk about relationships with Giselle, and it was fun.

“I definitely approve,” I said warmly, grasping her hand in support and smiling as she squeezed mine back in return. I knew then that she would heal, that we would fight our way into a new normal, and that Jeanie would be last to the finish line when we were through.

Everything was going to turn out exactly as I planned.

Chapter Twenty
-
Four

The Final Axe Falls

The night of the party, we all got ready together at my house, blaring Katy Perry and unashamedly singing loudly, our voices echoing through my father’s almost always empty house. We did our make-up and hair, carefully crafting our most flattering outfits. If we were going to go out, we were going to go out in style.

Still, I could feel the rattling nerves of my two friends as we made the drive over to Amanda’s parents’ house. Her father was a multimillionaire, something to do with technology that none of us really understood…even Amanda. This meant that they lived in a mansion on a hilltop overlooking the whole of New Hampshire. I wouldn’t be surprised if, on a clear day, you could see straight to Vermont, or maybe even the Boston skyline. Not that we had ever tried…Amanda was a school friend, and we had only been invited secondhand, not as primary guests.

We approached the door cautiously, and then I turned to my friends.

“Enough of this. If we’re going to go in, let’s not go in looking like terrified hamsters.”

We all tossed back our shoulders and cracked open the door. Inside, the blaring music mingled with the rising heat of dancing bodies, smacking us head on. The sharp smell of a combination of liquors and already spilled beer hit my nostrils hard, and I realized that I actually felt like a drink. This had never happened before. I cast one more encouraging glance at Jackie and Giselle, who were glaring down the room, daring someone to challenge them.

No one did, though the night was very young. The three of us grabbed some drinks and headed to the living room, where the lights were turned out and a dance party was in progress. We formed a circle, moving casually to the beat, and I was more than pleased when several other people joined us as we laughed and enjoyed the night together. I felt alive and young, impervious to pain or obligation. My father had no ownership over me, and I wondered for the millionth time if he’d even notice that I was gone.

The music blared on, the room filling with moist heat as we all began to sweat liquor, gales of laughter coming from various rooms of the house. A game of beer pong had started in the dining room, and we watched as team after team lost to the reigning champs, whose speech became more slurred with each victory. One of them fell into a chair that had been moved for the game, and a wooden leg snapped, tossing him to the ground. He rolled around and laughed, and the room laughed with him.

I was pleasantly drunk, the warm buzz of alcohol erasing any memory of bad things happening, and instead replacing it with a common sense of goodwill towards my fellow students. This immediately changed when Jeanie walked into the room, alone for the first time since I had met her. I glared her down.

“You’ll never win this war Jeanie. Stop pic…picking on people and just be a good person,” I slurred, my mind telling me that I had just made the most amazing speech in the history of mankind. To my complete surprise, Jeanie smiled. A genuine, friendly smile.

“You’re right, of course. After seeing my poor cousin in so much pain, I realized that I’m not being the person I want to be. I was hoping you guys would be willing to have a drink with me, call an official truce?” Giselle stumbled up beside me, Jackie not far behind.

“You want to be friends, after what you did to us?” Giselle slurred, hanging onto me for support. Jeanie considered us for a moment, her expression concerned.

“You guys are far too drunk to drive home. Here, I’ve got a stimulant that actually sobers you up. I want you guys to be safe,” she said, her brows creased in concern. The three of us glanced at each other, unsure what to do. On one hand, my bed sounded amazing. On the other, could we really trust Jeanie about anything?

“I want to go home now,” Jackie said quietly. I glanced over and saw that she could barely stand. It was bordering on the wee hours of the morning by that time, and I wanted to get home just as much as she did. Obviously we couldn’t call a parent, so I nodded for Jeanie to lead the way. She led us to the massive kitchen, pouring some glasses of water and popping in what looked like Air Bourne tablets.

“Here you go,” she said, handing out the glasses of fizzy water and holding hers up.

“To truces! May we all be great friends from this moment on,” she announced grandly, and I toasted her glass firmly. The three of us drank up quickly, my mind clearing with the water and carbonation. I laughed as my mind woke up to a second round. Giselle and I toasted to each other again, and Jeanie smiled and made her excuses to leave the room and socialize elsewhere.

“See? We did it! We made everything ok again,” I said, beaming with our triumph. We sat and congratulated ourselves until we realized that Jackie was nearly completely passed out.

“You ok to drive?” I asked Giselle. She nodded.

“Yeah, I feel fine.”

We pulled Jackie out of her seat and basically carried her to the car, plopping her in the front passenger side. I strapped myself in behind the driver’s seat, and gazed out into the dark night as Giselle pulled the car out of the parked line and drove onto the main street. My brain began to feel fuzzy. I held my hand up in front of my face and watched as the fingers blurred together and apart without moving.

“Are you sure you’re ok to drive?” I asked, my voice sounding funny even to myself. Giselle didn’t respond. The car began to wobble, swerving slightly left and right along the road. I saw a pair of bright headlights coming toward us.

“Giselle?” I asked, sinking back into my seat. The ability to move was becoming less and less controlled…the lights came closer, a sound blared through my mind—a truck’s horn. I was jolted forward, slammed hard against the driver’s seat, my body jerking as my father’s car was crushed like a tin can.

***

I remember.

Long, long ago I was a member of a great African tribe at the dawn of civilization. My mother and father were deeply in love, and my family was large and prosperous. I had three sisters, and I recognized them all—Giselle, Jackie, and Jean. I smiled at flashes of us singing and dancing, listening to stories by the firelight before sleeping peacefully. I was happy, filled with a joy that was my natural state of being.

Time shifted in the dream, and I watched, like a movie in fast forward, a DVD skipping scenes, as my sisters and I aged, all of us the spitting image of our mother, who was beautiful and strong. Soon it was time to decide whom we would marry. My parents went to counsel to decide who would be the best match for us, and we sat beneath our favorite tree discussing the possibilities.

“I hope that they choose someone kind for me,” Giselle said, her voice laced with hope and excitement. I smiled, hoping the same for all of us. We sat, our tummies tingling with excitement, shifting in our seats with impatience, until our parents returned with wide smiles.

“We have found you excellent matches, my loves,” my father beamed, and I noticed that even though his face was changed, he was the same father I had in the present. We ran into his open arms, embracing him and basking in his fatherly love. “Prepare yourselves to be wed!”

My vision shimmered, and suddenly I was sitting by a river with a handsome boy…Sebastian. We were both unhappy.

“Do you think you can convince them to change the order?” I asked, crying. He grasped my hands and looked deeply into my eyes, where I found my answer.

“No. The gods have decided this is how it will be, and there is nothing we can do to change it.”

I cried as he held me tenderly in his arms, and again the world flashed forward. I was watching him marry my beautiful sister, Jean. Her face was glowing with pride, while his was somber as they were tied together for life, destined to give our tribe a future through many children. My heart broke.

Later, he managed to find me while I hunted for berries. His hand upon my arm drove me to madness, and we made love secretly, hoping never to be discovered. I saw flashes of us passing each other by, secret smiles and small touches our only outlet for expressing our love. From outside myself, I watched as Jean grew increasingly tense, her eyes hardening against me. One day she followed me into the woods and screamed when Sebastian embraced me for a kiss.

“How could you do this to me? I gave everything to you!” she screamed, whether at him or me we couldn’t be sure. The combination of fear, guilt and self-hatred was enough to drive me from his arms and back to my father’s home, where I curled up in a ball in the corner, waiting for the consequences of my actions. Giselle and Jackie found me first, and I told them what I had done. Giselle knelt to the ground and wrapped me in her arms, stroking my hair and comforting me like a mother would her daughter.

“It will be alright, sister,” she cooed. “Love knows not the bounds of man. It was a mistake that can be fixed…I’m sure father will fix it.”

She was wrong. I heard a wild screaming coming from the center of our village, and the three of us ran out to see what was going on. It was dear Jean, Sebastian’s jilted bride, standing behind a fire that flashed bright green flames. Magic! Her eyes were filled with a fiery hate I had never seen before, and she glared me down, casting a glance at Giselle and Jackie, her eyes widening in supposed betrayal. My parents were quick to join us, and I caught Sebastian’s eye from the other side of the fire. He looked terrified.

“You have all betrayed me in the worst possible way. Mother, you chose a man that would break my heart and take my innocence, making me worthless for any other man. Father, you allowed the ceremony to take place. And sisters…your betrayal is worst of all. You are thieves and liars, and I hate all of you!”

Her eyes bulged from her face as she screamed out our crimes for all to hear. Everyone in the village had arrived to witness the event, and I wanted to scream for someone to stop her. No one dared get too close to the green flames as my sister prepared to harm us in whatever fashion she chose. Her eyes narrowed then, her anger swiftly transforming into malice.

“I hate you. All of you! From the flames of this fire I curse you until the end of time to feel the loss that I have felt. Our mother shall never know her daughters; our father will forget how to love,” she pointed to Giselle and Jackie. “My misguided sisters will suffer for all their days until they die, over and over again,”
her curses flew one by one, like bats out of the depths of hell, damning us all.

“Stop, please! I am the only one you should curse, not them!” I cried, and her eyes glowed red as they darted at me, boring into my skin, sealing her spell.

“I have a special gift for you, sister,” she said, smiling. My knees trembled with fear, and I wished I‘d had the power to stop her. I didn’t even know that she’d learned to use magic in the first place. How could I protect us against that which we did not know?

“Every time you think you find love, every time the odds of life fall into your favor, I will be there. I will stop you, whatever it takes. You will never know a full life. You will never know true happiness, no love will ever last, and if I can kill you in every life, let it be!”

The flames rose high above us, and I could hear the screams of women and men as they ran for shelter against the sorcery of my once beloved sister. I stood, still as a tree rooted deep into the ground, my gaze desolate as I watched the poison of hate seep deeply into her bones, into the very essence of her soul.

And then I died, and instantly, the curse sealed forever. Dark liquid filled my mouth as I screamed and screamed and screamed…

A fuzzy white light surrounded me, a slight ringing buzzed in my ears…if I even had ears.

Open your eyes.

I heard the command as though from a great distance. I thought about eyes, what they looked like, how they functioned. When I cracked mine open, I saw myself, lying in a hospital bed below. Tubes cluttered the space around me, and a machine beeped lightly, signaling life, however fragile. I stared down at my beaten and battered face. Dark bruises marred my cheeks, and a large gash stretched across my eye.

“You can stop it, you know.”

I glanced to my left, and saw Giselle floating in midair next to me. She looked peaceful, surrounded in golden light. I wondered if we had become angels.

“Stop what?” I asked.

“The cycle,” Jackie appeared on my right, and I smiled at her, wishing I could give her a hug. I couldn’t tell if I had hands or not…it was as if I existed only in a dream.

Our conversation paused as we watched Sebastian wheel himself into my hospital room alone. We stared in peaceful acceptance at his taut face, the bags under his eyes a clear sign that he hadn’t been sleeping. I felt overcome with love for him, my soul reaching out, trying to tell him that I was ok. From the door, he rose, standing at his full height. We stared on in astonishment as he walked slowly to my bedside, gazing down at my battered face.

“I wish you could hear me,” he choked. He pulled one of the hospital chairs over and sat by me, gently taking my hand. From the top corner of the room, I felt nothing.

“You were right, you know,” he continued, sighing. “You would have been perfect; you always were. We could have fought my demons together. I should have allowed you to try.” We watched silently as a solitary tear made its way down his face, and I turned back to Jackie.

“Jean’s curse can be broken? I can stay alive? How?”

She shrugged.

“I don’t know. But if you stop the cycle, that’s got to be it, right? We can’t keep going on like this…I’d like to have a full, wonderful life. We deserve that after all we’ve been through.”

“But if my body gives out…that’s it. And where are you guys?”

It dawned on me then that they hadn’t survived the crash. If I could have cried, I would have.

“Don’t focus on that,” Giselle said, addressing my sudden realization. “Focus on reconnecting with your body. You can save us all for the next round.”

I focused on my human form, trying with all my will to somehow reconnect with it before I could be taken to the other side. With Sebastian still alive, we had already fared better in this life than any other. But the curse still held us fast. We were cursed for an eternity without love, unless I could hold on, unless I could make my way back to him.