Part of Me (Jessa & Paxton #1) (4 page)

The break up with Dylan was less than stellar. Paxton’s words had me feeling like the hypocrite I was trying not to be. Just hearing his voice and listening to him set me straight had me all pumped up. So I literally sprinted on into the dorm and told Dylan straight up that I was done. That I was bored and that I couldn’t stand his lips on mine anymore. It was brutal. I should have taken a second to breathe before I walked into that dorm and humiliated him in front of his ‘bros’.

The only upside to that tactic is that he was so shocked and pissed that it didn’t even occur to him to grovel or plead with me. In order to save face
, he basically had no choice but to tell me to get my ass out of his room. Which I did. Happily.

By the time I made it back to my own dorm, good old Will had already called Taylor and
shared his feelings about how awful it was and how sorry he felt for Dylan. Needless to say, it’s been icy in Taylor’s and my shared box. But there is an upside to that too because the schnapps sipping parties have moved a few doors down.

And now
I’m blissfully alone. In fact, I’m avoided like the plague. I guess I deserve it because I was awful to him, so…
yay for him
- he came here because of me and now he’s running the place and I’m a leper. Figures. Relationships. They are so damn messy and pointless.

As I walk to my room I see a note on the message board attached to mine and
Taylor’s door. The words read, ‘Burn In Hell SLUT!’ I stutter a laugh.
Um… okay
. I didn’t know breaking up with your boyfriend was a big enough sin to warrant eternal damnation, but clearly we don’t have any religious studies majors on this floor. I run the sleeve of my leather jacket across the words but they don’t wipe away. Permanent marker
. Genius
.

When I open the door Taylor is
, of course, not here. She’s been sleeping elsewhere ever since the Big Breakup of 2014 went down. I throw my messenger bag on the bed and sit down, staring at the wall. After class I went to the library to get all my work done and then found some dive diner that, miraculously, I had never been taken to on a date. It’s seven o’clock. I have nothing to do.

My phone
rings and when I look at it it’s a local area code, which can’t be good. “Hello,” I say with some attitude because I don’t have any friends in Chicago- only people who want me to die a long, hot death.

“Is this Jessa?” a sweet, feminine voice asks me. Probably one of Taylor or Dylan’s minions.

“Who’s this?” I mutter.

The
girl lets out a long breath. “This is Violet. I’m a friend of Paxton’s. He asked me to call you.”

“Oh, shit. Sorry about the attitude, I was expecting someone else.”

“Not a problem. Paxton said you’re having a rough time at the dorms and thought you might like to make some new friends. You want to come out tonight?”

“I didn’t think he was serious when he told me he wa
s going to send someone to help me out.” I think out loud.

“Well, he was. Are you in or what?”

“Yeah. I’m in.”

#

A crappy, old Jetta pulls up in front of the dorm, which I guess is my new friend Violet. I’m kind of feeling like a charity case but a friend of Paxton’s is better than the nonexistent friends of mine.

I open the door and
see a dainty little thing with big dimples and a fall of purple, green and blue hair sitting behind the wheel. “Get in,” she tells me.

I do, with a smile. This girl is refreshing already. With no introductions made,
Violet turns up the volume of her car stereo and The Go Go’s,
We’ve Got the Beat
, comes blaring out of the speakers. Violet starts bopping around and singing at the top of her lungs and I start laughing. Probably the most enjoyable seconds of my college life thus far.

By the time we roll down Western Avenue and pull to a stop
I’m yelling out the lyrics to
Johnny Are You Queer
? along with Violet.

“Gotta let go with my girls
before I can party properly,” she tells me. “I’m Violet.” She smiles and offers me her hand.

“Jessa. Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” she says, stepping out of the car.

We walk into the dive bar and my skin prickles as it comes to life. I
breathe in the non-sterilized room and feel myself grinning like a total fledgling idiot as I follow Violet who is making her way towards the bar like she owns the place. The girl can’t be more than 5’3 but her demeanor is that of a hulking badass. The bartender calls her by name and asks what she wants. She orders a gin and tonic, then looks to me. “I’ll have a vodka cranberry,” I say, trying to sound confident.

“Can I see
your i.d.?” the guy asks with furrowed eyebrows.

“She’s a friend of Paxton’s,”
Violet tells him.

The g
uy narrows his eyes at me. “I’ve never seen her.”

“She’s from
Minnesota, from that town his mom sent him off to.”

He smiles then. “How’s
that asshole doing? Is he in town?”

“Good,” I tell him
, wondering… what the hell? “He’s in California, with his dad.”

“
Yeah? Good for him.” He turns away to go make our drinks.

I turn my questioning eyes to
Violet. “He’s gonna serve me… just because I know Paxton?”

“He didn’t tell you a whole hell of a lot, did he?”

“No.”

She g
rabs our drinks off the bar and proceeds to a small booth in the back corner. She runs her eyes over me with a smirk on her face. “So what’s the deal with the two of you?” she asks me.

“
What does that mean? Are you asking if we hooked up?” I presume, based on the look she’s giving me.

“Yep.”

“No.”

She raises her eyebrows at me like she
doesn’t quite believe me.

“What? We didn’
t. What have you done with him?”

Her mouth pops open like she’s shocked. “Ha! Me and Paxton. No, n
o, no. Let me explain something- Paxton is a man whore and I do not screw man whores. You’d do best to stay away too because screwing Paxton is the kiss of death. He won’t speak to you ever again.”

A disbelieving laugh bursts out of my mouth. “Seriously? That’s what he was about?”

She cocks her head and narrows her eyes at my response. “Yes, that’s what he’s about. I think at some point he was less of a womanizer. But I’m pretty sure that kid is long forgotten.”

“Wow. I mean, I get the very vivid impression that he’s gotten his share of women since he left Riv
er Bluff, but when he was there I don’t think he touched anyone.”

“Please, you are full of shit,
” she laughs.

“I’m serious.
In fact, for a while he was in a contrived relationship with my best friend in order to avoid women all together.”

“He slept with her.”

“He did not.”

Her eyebrows are up again.

“Trust me. Emily was in love with someone else. Like, you know… the love of her life and all that good stuff.” I can’t help the way my face contorts into disgust.

Violet laughs.
“You are a cynical romantic.”

“Cynical for sure. I don’t know about the romantic part. So how do you know Paxton and why did the bartender serve me because I know him?”

“What has he told you about his life pre – refugee?”

I shrug, not wanting to admit how little I actually know about him, especially si
nce Violet clearly knows him very well. “He hates his mom and his stepdad and was excited to go live with his dad in California. He did something so shittastic that his mom felt the need to move him to Minnesota and pay him to stay away from Chicago.”

Violet
looks at me like she’s waiting for me to go on. “That’s it?” she finally asks.

I shrug my shoulders. “He loves music and playing his guitar?
”

“Well, in that case I’m gonna let you ask Paxton about the bartender. As far as he and I go, I used to date a friend of his. And when that friend screwed both of us over like the professional asshole he is, we helped each other deal and we’ve been friends ever since.”

“That sounds like Paxton. He’s pretty good at helping people out.”

“Yeah, he can be. Not many people know that though. Around here Paxton is a legend for many reasons- his temper and his willingness to kick the shit out of anyone who looks at him sideways is definitely one of them.”

I cock my head at her. Clearly the Paxton she knows and the Paxton I know are two different people.

“Oh my god… what?  No fighting in Minnesota either?” She throws her hands up in the air like this is a bad thing. “Tell me about this boy who visited your town. This virginal pacifist.”

I roll my e
yes at her. “It was obvious that he’s not a virginal pacifist, but he had decided before he got there that he wasn’t getting attached to anything or anyone in our town. That’s not the way it all worked out- he became really good friends with a lot of us- but apparently he managed to keep part of himself detached because I suddenly feel like I never really knew him at all.”

She gives me a tight smile
like she’s just got so much juicy information in her mouth and she’s doing her damndest to hold it all in.

“It’s fine. I don’t need to know. Hopefully he’ll trust me enough to tell me one day,” I tell her
but I’m annoyed and a little pissed. From the small amount I’ve gleamed from his current life in California I was already feeling like Paxton is not the guy I thought he was. Violet is making it very clear that that is correct. Not wanting to talk about your past is one thing, but acting like someone you’re not is different.

“All you
really need to know is that Paxton cares about you. I mean, he called me up and told me I had to offer you the spare room in my apartment in order to get you out of the dorm. That’s not something he would do for just anyone.”

“Ha,” I laugh at her. “I’m sorry, that’s ridiculous.
What did he think you were going to say, ‘yes, send the girl over and I’ll get her all set up’?”

“Well
, I did. I mean, you can come stay with me if you want to.”

“What? Why would you agree to that?
You don’t even know me. That’s insane.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “It’s Paxton. I’d do just about anything for him
. Plus, you seem totally normal and… I mean this is not really relevant… but he’s going to pay rent for me.”

All I can do is shake my head at her.
Before I can speak there is a man in my seat and one in Violet’s too. My guy immediately wraps his arm around me and when I look up at him I’m not offended. He’s got dark hair and pretty green eyes and a nice smile. “Who’s your friend, Violet?” he asks her.

“This is Jessa. She’s a friend of
Paxton’s. I’m looking out for her…
for him
.”

The guy takes his arm off my shoulder and starts drumming his thumbs against the table.
Everyone is suddenly silent and I’m dying to know what the drama, or respect, or whatever happens to people at this place when Paxton’s name is brought up, is about. The guy is leaned forward now, he turns his head and gives me a crooked smile, stopping his thumb drumming and offering me his hand. “I’m Billy.” He pauses and I feel like I should say, ‘Right, Billy. Paxton’s told me all about you.’
But of course I’ve never heard that name come out of Paxton’s mouth.

“He’s a friend of Paxton’s. T
hey know each other from around the bar,” Violet pipes in and Billy gives her a perplexed look to which she shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know what the hell’s going on. Paxton didn’t talk about his past with her. Obviously, it’s for a reason. I’m not saying shit.” 

Billy laughs. “You his girl?” he asks me.

“No. I’m his friend.”

“Right,” he says
like that’s completely unbelievable, just like Violet’s reaction.  I’m over this conversation. All I really want to do is call Paxton and ream his ass for being such a walled off pussy.

“I need to get out
,” I tell Billy.

He steps out and I already have my phone in
hand. “She’s pissed,” the other guy in the booth says with a laugh.

Hell
yeah, I’m pissed
.

I head back through some dark hallway and past the bathrooms while dialing Paxton.

“What’s up, beso?”

“That’s a good fucking question, Paxton.”

He lets out an amused laugh. “Already… with the mouth. What are you so worked up about, kid?”

“I’m at a bar with Violet… thank you
, by the way, for sending her to me… and I’m learning that, apparently, I know not one god damn thing about you. I’ve been here for ten minutes and so far I’ve been served alcohol simply because I know you, I was questioned and doubted by Violet because she just cannot believe that we are not screwing and that you didn’t bang your way through River Bluff. Then some guy named Billy, who is pretty damn good looking, took his arm and his sexy eyes off of me the minute Violet told him I was your friend.”