Parly Road: The Glasgow Chronicles 1 (15 page)

Chapter Seventeen

  The lane ran back fae Grafton Street fur aboot a hunner yards before ye came tae the corrugated iron
gates. There wis jist enough room fur the lorries tae take the fence posts, reclaimed rafters and wooden fences in and oot again wance they’d been dipped. Oan each side ae the lane there wis a brick wall aboot six feet high.  Oan the left, as ye went in fae Grafton Street, wur the back ae the tenements oan Grafton Square and oan the right wur the back ae the hooses at the bottom end ae McAslin Street. Johnboy hid tae tell Skull and Joe tae be quiet and tae stoap farting aboot as they entered the lane, as that squinty-eyed tosser, Crisscross, and that fat Christian wife ae his lived jist o’er the wall oan the right.

  “Whit? Crisscross lives o’er here?” Tony asked, pulling himsel up oan tae the wall wae his fingertips and peering o’er.

  “Aye.”

  “Whit wan?”

  “The bottom wan oan the right, in the corner, jist beneath the railings. The boarded-up windae tae the right ae that is the back ae the dairy oan the corner.”

  “Whit the fuck is he daeing living here?” Joe asked, taking a peep beside Tony.

  “Who knows, bit there’s another three Christian wummin staying there as well. Sometimes Ah used tae come roond and sit oan the wall here, listening tae them aw make a racket, singing Christian songs and knocking hell oot ae tambourines, like nowan’s business.”

  “Is that so?” Tony murmured, heaving himsel up fur another wee gander.

  “Aye, the Christian wummin wur okay, bit when Crisscross joined in, it always went tae pot. Ah wid’ve sacked him masel bit they mad wummin didnae seem tae mind and they jist chanted louder, aw smiling at each other.”

  “Aye, he’s probably riding them aw, the dirty basturt,” Joe sneered, wae a lecherous smile.

  “Ah wonder why they’d want tae stay in a dump like this?” Skull asked, using baith erms tae try and reach an itchy bit oan his back, bit failing miserably.

  “Dae ye think they keep dosh in the hoose?” Joe wondered.

  “Fuck knows, bit they’re always oot wae they cans ae theirs, trying tae cadge money aff ae people who’re always skint. Hiv ye never seen them daeing the roonds ae the pubs?” Johnboy asked them.

  “Ahhh, that’s better,” Skull sighed, groaning in delight, as he leaned back against the brick wall, his eyes shut, gently bobbing up and doon tae gie himsel a right good scratch.

  “Fur fuck’s sake, Skull.  The last time Ah saw that wis when Horsey John and wan ae his auld flea bag nags wur sharing the stable door posts thegither. Baith ae them hid the exact same look oan their coupons as ye’ve goat noo,” laughed Joe.

  “Is this it?” Tony asked wance they wur aw staunin in front ae
the corrugated double gates.

  “Aye, we’ll need tae climb o’er. Ah usually go in o’er the wall fae the back closes in Grafton Square.”

  Wance they wur in the yard, they stood looking at the building.  It wis square shaped and wis built oan tae the end ae the tenement building.  Fae the ground up tae aboot a height ae ten feet it wis made ae the same bricks that surrounded the backs ae the tenements. It didnae hiv windaes bit it hid slatted wooden walls above the brickwork that stretched aw the way aroond it and up as far as the sloping lean-to, slated roof, which let ye see through tae the roof rafters. Where there wis slats missing, tarpaulin covered the gaps.  There wis a double door facing them that wis padlocked.  In the yard, three big square steel tanks wae steel lids stood aboot four feet deep.  Two ae them wur used tae dip the fences, gates and roof rafters that hid been taken oot ae condemned buildings which wur noo being knocked doon.  The other wan wis full ae acid stuff that wis used tae strip aff anything that wis covered in paint.  Aw Johnboy’s pals knew tae keep well away fae that tank efter wan ae his pals hid haundled a bit ae wood that hid been dipped in it. It hid lifted the flesh straight aff ae Shuggie Martin’s fingers.

  “So, how dae we get in then?” Tony asked, efter they’d scrambled o’er the gates.

  “Follow me,” Johnboy said, motioning wae his haun, as he walked roond the left haun side ae the building and climbed up the big stack ae wooden pallets that hid been there fur as long as he could remember. 

  At the tap, he pushed the heavy tarpaulin in towards the inside ae the building and stepped through oan tae whit seemed like a second flair, bit wis in actual fact where the owner hid stacked aw his long roof rafters and other big lengths ae oak. The dummy flair wis aboot twenty feet up fae the ground and set back aboot ten feet fae the front ae the building that hid the double padlocked door oan it.  Because ae the slatted walls, ye could see right ootside intae the yard and the gates they’d jist climbed o’er.

  “O’er here,” Johnboy whispered in the semi-darkness, walking across the stacked wood tae the back ae the building, stoapping at the brick wall that appeared tae haud everything thegither.

  This wall wis a further six feet higher up fae where they wur staunin and ran the length ae the back ae the building and looked doon oan tae McAslin Street.

  “Okay, Ah gie in,” Skull said, no impressed.

  “Kin ye no see it?” Johnboy asked.

  “See whit?” Tony and Joe chimed thegither.

  “The stash hole.”

  “Ah cannae see a bloody thing,” Skull said, touching the rough wall wae his fingertips, peering aw o’er it.

  “Brilliant!” Johnboy said, as he jimmied himsel up oan tae the ledge at the tap. “Up youse come.”

  The three who wur left staunin pulled themselves up and intae a sitting position.

  “Right, where noo?” Tony asked.

  “Ye’re sitting oan it,” Johnboy replied wae a big grin.

  The three ae them turned tae the side and looked at the wall that their arses wur plapped oan. It wis a double-layered wall that hid a crevice running the full length ae it. The crevice wis aboot twelve inches deep and aboot four inches wide.

  “Bloody brilliant!” Joe said. “Who else knows aboot it?”

  “Jist us,” Johnboy replied, as Skull and Tony stood up and walked alang the wall in opposite directions.

  “Aye, it’ll dae,” Tony agreed, efter he came back fae exploring.  “If we’re gonnae stash oor dosh here, it’ll need tae be at the far end there,” he said, nodding tae where he’d jist come fae.

“Ma da’s goat an auld toffee tin that he keeps his nails in. It’s goat a lid oan it. Ah’ll take it doon and we kin keep the dosh in that,” Joe volunteered.

  “We’ve goat two pound eleven bob fur the kitty, so far.  Wance Joe gets the tin, that’ll be oor first saving.”

  “Will it haud aw the coins, Joe?”

  “Aye, it’s long and deep and the lid is really tight oan it.”

  Efter another wee look aboot, Johnboy, Tony and Joe jumped doon and went o’er and sat wae their legs dangling o’er the edge ae the dummy flair at the front.

  “Where the hell ur we gonnae get trannys fae?” Skull asked oot loud, fae somewhere up in the rafters.

  “We’ll need tae move oot ae the Toonheid and go oan the hunt,” Tony replied.

  “Where aboot?” Joe asked.

  “Ah’m no sure, bit ye know how we jump oan the back ae lorries tae get hudgies aw o’er the place?”

  “Aye,” Joe and Skull answered thegither.

  “Well, there’s yer answer.”

  “Ah’m no even gonnae kid oan Ah know whit ye’re oan aboot, professor,” Skull said, as the others sat watching him swing between two rafters, jist aboot gieing everywan a heart attack when he slipped, then managed tae get a grip ae a nail sticking oot ae the side ae it wae his fingers, so avoiding plummeting tae the concrete flair thirty feet below.

  “Fucking brilliant!” Joe said, as the penny drapped.

  “Ah’m wae Skull here.  Ye’ll need tae gie me a hint ae whit ye’re oan aboot, Tony,” Johnboy said, leaning forward, letting a spit trail oot fae between his lips, interested tae see how long it wid stretch before snapping.

  “We jump oan the back ae a BRS or a Taylor’s lorry.  It’ll gies us a lift tae other parts ae Glesga, depending oan where it’s heided. Oan route, we keep oor eyes peeled and when we see an electrical shoap, we jump aff and tan it,” Tony said wae a satisfied, ‘Admit it, Ah’m a genius’ look oan that kisser ae his.

  Johnboy hid tae admit that he didnae need his erm twisted tae be convinced ae Tony’s genius.

  “So, how dae we get back if we don’t know where the fuck we’re gaun?” Skull asked, sticking the needle intae Tony’s hot-air-balloon-plan fae somewhere up in the Gods.

  “Skull, trust you,
ya tit, ye. Is there anything good aboot ma idea?”

  “Ah’m jist saying...”

  “Well, jist tell us the better idea ye’ve come up wae.”

  “Fuck aff! Don’t go in the huff wae me, ya
greaser, ye. Ah wis only asking.”

  “How aboot using a map?” Joe suggested.

  “Kin you read a map like?” Skull asked, jabbing away wae that needle ae his again.

  “Ah’m lucky if Ah kin read ma ain name,” Joe admitted, as everywan laughed.

  “That auld granda ae mine works fur Barr’s as a lorry driver and he telt me that if Ah ever goat lost in Glesga, Ah should go tae the nearest busy road and catch a bus as aw the main streets in Glesga heid back intae the toon centre,” Johnboy volunteered, waiting fur Skull’s needle tae appear.

  “Really?” Skull asked, swinging away fae them intae the darkness.

  “Problem solved then,” Tony declared.

  “When dae we start?” Skull wanted tae know, his voice starting tae sound excited awready.

  “This weekend.”

  “Good, that’ll gie me time tae check oot the bus numbers coming intae the toon centre,” Skull said, satisfied, as he came swinging back between the rafters.

  He managed tae hing oan wae wan haun while he wiped his nose wae the sleeve ae his jersey before finally anchoring above where they wur sitting.

  “So, whit’s the score wae they mad Murphy pricks?” Joe asked, gaun back tae the discussion that they’d hid earlier oan the way doon McAslin Street.

  “Ah wish Ah knew, bit whitever they want, it’ll mean grief fur us, so it will,” Tony sniffed.

  “Hiv ye telt Johnboy that ye used tae work fur them?” Skull asked oot ae the blue.

  “Really?”

  “Ah never really worked fur them. Ah did a few wee jobs fur Shaun, the wan wae the Mars bar oan his coupon.”

  “He used tae screw dookits and blag aw the birds,” Skull said, lying spread-eagled across the rafters, looking doon oan them.

  “Skull, who’s telling this story, eh?” Tony demanded.

  “Ah’m only saying, Mr Touchy.”

  “Well, let me get the facts oot before ye start interrupting me.”

  “Well, hurry up and get oan wae it then,” Skull shouted, his white toothy smile lighting up his manky face in the darkness above them.

  “Ah wis asked tae be their runner bit there wis no way, because ae whit they did tae Skull’s da.”

  “Wankers!” Spiderman growled.

  “So, Ah managed tae wangle ma way oot ae it. Jist when Ah thought Ah wis aff the hook, Shaun telt me that he still wanted me tae dae a few wee jobs fur him.”

  “Screwing dookits,” Skull chipped in.

  “Noo, if there’s wan thing ye don’t want tae be caught daeing, apart fae snow-dropping, it’s screwing some mad basturt’s dookit and blagging aw his good doos,” Tony warned, looking directly at Johnboy.

  “Unless ye’re sick ae life and ye want a quick way tae die a slow, painful death,” Joe added.

  “Ah tanned two dookits fur him...wan across in Possil and wan up in Springburn,” Tony continued.

  “Tell him aboot the windae box,” Skull said, lying sprawled in a press-up position oan two ae the rafters above them, getting aw excited. “Ah bloody love this wan, so Ah dae.”

  “The two jobs wur a loft dookit and a windae box,” Tony said, ignoring the interuption. ”Anyway, the windae box, which should’ve been the easy wan ae the two, sat oan the guy’s spare bedroom windae ledge. Oan the inside, ye could see aw his bedroom walls wur covered wae nesting boxes full ae doos. It wis a nice wee set-up he hid.  Aw Ah hid tae dae, according tae Scarface, wis nip up the drain pipe and grab a wee doo aff the landing board and aff Ah’d go.”

  “Ah fucking love this,” Skull squealed, nearly pishing himsel wae excitement again.

  “Anyway, Shaun The Basturt wanted this guy’s really good doo...”

  “A big Horseman Thief Pouter. Wan ae the best anywan hid ever clapped eyes oan,” Skull butted in again.

  “...bit the only problem wis, Ah hid tae hing aboot fur four days solid because Mad Malky The Barber, widnae put the bloody thing oot and Shaun hid warned me no tae come back withoot it.”

  “Prick!” Skull murmured.

  “He wis a barber? Jist like yer auld man, Tony?”

  “Well, no quite like ma auld man. Ma da’s a real barber. Mad Malky goat his name because he scalped a guy wae a fireman’s axe fur trying tae dae him oot ae a doo deal.”

  “Lopped the tap ae his napper clean aff,” Skull said, swishing his erm tae demonstrate.