Parker (Striking Back #3) (14 page)

Fear
and anger churn my stomach. She knows what’s coming and doesn’t want me to see.
Al laughs. “He’s not going anywhere. He’s going to stand there and watch me
fuck you and know there isn’t a damn thing he can do about it.”

“Don’t
fucking touch her!” He shoves the gun in her back when I step toward him,
halting me. I’ve never been so torn. There’s no way I can get to her before he
fires, but I can’t just let him rape her.

“Parker.”
Her voice trembles. “I’m sorry, but Al is my boyfriend and it’s time I went
home to him.” A smug smile settles on his face as she speaks. “Al, please. I’m
so sorry I left. I made a huge mistake. I…I love you. Please take me home.”

“In
due time, baby.” His hand strokes his cock, getting it hard.

“Macy,”
I choke. I don’t know what to do.

Dull
eyes meet mine. “I’m sorry. I don’t love you, Parker. I love him. I belong with
him,” she sobs. “Al, I don’t want anyone to see us make love. It should be
between us, in our bed.”

Indecision
fills his face as she plays him, and he angles the gun away from her while his
hand strokes her ass. Taking advantage of his hesitation, she brings up her
heel and smashes it into his balls. A shot rings out and pure terror seizes me.
He shot her. Oh fuck he—

Blood
pours from a tiny hole between his eyes, splashing down his face before his
body slumps to the floor. Macy screams and scrambles into a corner, wrapping her
hands around her knees. “The cops are on their way,” Jensen says from behind
me, lowering the gun he’s just used to save her.

All
I can see is Macy, shaking and sobbing, trying to breathe. I yank a blanket
from the closet shelf and throw it around her, pulling her trembling body into
my lap. “I’ve got you, baby. Just breathe. You’re safe.”

“I’m
s-sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I didn’t want him to hurt you.”

“Shh,
I know. It’s okay. It’s over now. It’s all over.” It is all over. I can’t do
this. I know how he got in the house without us knowing. I was too busy making
out with Macy when I carried her in the back door. Too goddamned focused on
getting my dick wet to arm the alarm.

I
nearly got her raped or killed. She’ll be safe now that he’s dead and she needs
to get as far away from me as possible. Not tonight, though. Tonight, she needs
me.

“Is
she okay?” Jensen asks, stepping toward us.

“Don’t
touch her!”

Jensen
throws his palms up and steps back. “I wasn’t going to. Does she need an
ambulance?”

Shit.
I have to pull it together. I’m like a dog snapping when someone gets too
close. “I’m sorry, man. Yeah, I want her checked out. She just got that damn
boot off.”

“It’s
okay. I get it.” Jensen walks into the hall to make the call.

Macy
has gained control of her breathing, but she’s still shaking. My heart is
shredded. She’s been through so much and was just getting better. No doubt this
will set her back. “Baby, did you hurt your foot?”

Her
hand clamps over the blanket when I try to uncover her foot. “Okay, it’s okay,”
I soothe, kissing her forehead. “We need to get you dressed before the medics
and police show up.”

I’m
rewarded with a nod, and she allows me to move her to the bed. Blanket clutched
tightly around her, she watches as I grab a pair of panties, shorts and a
t-shirt. Again, she resists when I try to remove the blanket. “Do you want me
to leave the room while you dress?”

“No!
Don’t leave me.” I realize that just because she’s not panicking doesn’t mean
she isn’t afraid.

“Sweetheart.”
I cup her chin and gaze into haunted eyes. “I’m so sorry I let this happen, but
I would never hurt you. I just want to get you dressed.”

Another
silent nod, and I quickly pull the shirt over her head and help with her
panties and shorts. Just in time for a knock on the door. “Paramedics are
here,” Jensen announces. “Cops too.”

“We’re
coming.”

Looking
away from Al’s body lying against the wall, Macy takes my hand and allows me to
lead her to the living room. Officer Roberts and two other officers wait for
us.

“He
broke in, tried to rape her, held a gun to her head. Jensen shot him. His body
is in the bedroom. Anything else you need from us can wait until tomorrow. I’m
getting her out of here.”

“Where
are you staying?” Roberts asks.

“Mason’s
house. He’s still in Vegas until tomorrow.”

“I’ll
come by in the morning.”

Macy
won’t let the medics look at her, but swears she’s fine, though she’s still
shaking and seems so distant. Finally, she lets them give her a sedative to
calm her nerves, and I bundle her into my truck. Fire, a dead body, a house
full of cops. I just want to get her away from all of it. The sedative kicks in
and she’s asleep before we reach Mason’s house.

She
doesn’t budge when I put her in bed and crawl in beside her. I have no
intention of sleeping. This is my last night with the woman I love and I don’t
want to miss a second. Her face is so peaceful as she sleeps and her lips
twitch up like she’s trying to smile. I gaze at her for hours before I doze off
just before dawn, her soft body locked firmly in my arms.

The
sound of the front door closing wakes me and I creep out of bed. I don’t know
what they gave her, but she’s still out.

“Where
is she? Is she okay?” Everly babbles, trying to dodge me to find Macy.

“Shh.
She’s asleep. She’s okay, physically anyway.”

“Thank
fuck it’s over,” she sighs. “I’m going to go pick up Cody. He’s probably
driving Ms. Den crazy by now.”

Mason
sits across from me on the couch giving me a silent stare that pisses me off.
Like I don’t know how royally I fucked up. “Jensen gave you the whole story?” I
ask, my head falling into my palms.

“Yes,
he shot in defense of another person. No charges will be filed, but they need a
statement from you and Macy.”

“It
was so fucking close, brother. He had her naked over the bed. I didn’t have my gun.
I was caught totally off guard.”

“Literally
with your pants down,” Mason says, the edge of his mouth twitching. A half
laugh half sob jumps from my chest and I sit back. “There’s a reason we don’t
get involved with the women we help. Not just because they’re vulnerable, but
because it’s distracting.”

His
face softens as I meet his eyes. “I get that now. If he’d hurt her, I’d never
forgive myself.”

Mason
gets to his feet and starts the coffeemaker. “She’s okay, and Pearson is dead.
She’ll be able to go back to her life.”

I
nod under his expectant gaze. “And I’ll go back to mine.” I sound confident,
but it’s bullshit. My love life before her was empty and the thought of going
back to those random women turns my stomach.

“She
can stay with us until she feels safe enough to live alone again.”

“It’ll
be good for her to be around Ev,” I agree. “She never sees her friends. She’s
been isolated with me.”

Mason’s
strong hand squeezes my shoulder, and I feel like a kid again, relying on my
big brother to get me through. “I know it sucks, but you’re doing the right
thing. Give it some time. Let her figure out her shit.”

“I
need to get in the gym this week. I’ll teach all the teen and adult classes.”

“Good
idea. Work with Alex and Brandon. They have a charity tournament coming up.”

“Park?”
Macy’s soft voice calls from the bedroom.

“Be
right there.” Fuck. After all she’s been through, I have to break her heart. I
expect her to be hurt, but now that she doesn’t need me to protect her, she’ll
move on.

Sleepy
eyes greet me when I enter the bedroom with a steaming cup of coffee. “Mmm, is
that for me?” she murmurs, watching me place it on the night stand.

“Milk
and sugar with a dash of coffee,” I tease, taking a seat on the bed. I lean
back against the headboard, and she lays her head on my lap.

A
lump rises in my throat as I run my fingers through her hair. “He’s really
dead?”

“Yes,
doll.”

“Will
Jensen be in trouble?”

“No,
no charges are being filed. We have to give an official statement today and
that’s the end of it.”

“I
can go home,” she blurts, realizing she’s free. Her nightmare is over while
mine is just beginning. “Or find a home, you know, an apartment. I wonder if I
can move back into the one I shared with Al. It was mine first. The asshole
moved in with me, then I had to move.”

“I’m
sure you can get it back if that’s what you want,” I assure her.

“I’m
glad he’s dead.” Anxious eyes peek up at me. “Does that make me a horrible
person?”

“No.
It makes you human.”

Sorrow
weighs down my voice and she doesn’t fail to notice. “Something is wrong. What
is it?” She sits up to face me.

“Mace,
I’m so sorry. I fucked things up from the very beginning. Put you at risk
because of my feelings for you. I nearly got you killed.”

“No,
you were always there for me,” she insists, putting her hand on my chest.

“I
took advantage of you when you were vulnerable. I ignored all the rules because
I’m selfish and I wanted you. All I bring you is danger. You’re in the clear
now and this is my life. Dealing with crazy exes, spending days and nights at
safe houses, it never ends, and I can’t drag you into it.”

Devastation
creases her face when she realizes where I’m headed. “You aren’t dragging me. I
love you.”

“I
can’t do my job.”

“What?”

“I
love you. You’re all I think about and when we’re together I can’t focus on
anything but you. It puts us both in danger. I can’t. I’m so sorry, but I can’t
do this. I’ll help you get back in your apartment and—”

“Don’t
fucking bother,” she snaps, leaping from the bed. “Despite what you’ve seen, I
can take care of myself. I’m not as weak as you think I am. Just go.”

“You’re
not weak. I’ve never thought that.” Christ, she’s the strongest woman I know.

“Just
too weak for your lifestyle.”

“No.
I’m too weak to control myself with you. To keep you safe.”

“You
don’t need to save me anymore!” she shouts, her ears burning red.

Everly
knocks on the door as she’s opening it and the expression on her face tells me
Mason has filled her in. “You’re making a mistake,” she says to me. “One you’ll
always regret.”

I
take one last look into Macy’s coffee colored eyes, branding them into my
memory. “I’ll never regret loving you. The last few months have been the best
of my life. I’ll miss you, baby doll.”

Everly
embraces Macy as I flee the room, leaving half my heart behind. “Parker,” Mason
calls as I storm through the living room.

“Her
car is parked at Devon’s place. Make sure she gets it.” I toss him her keys.

“I’ll
take care of it. Hey!” he calls as I try to sprint out the door. “We’ll take
care of her, Park. She’ll be all right.”

Nodding,
I mumble, “I’ll send her stuff over with Jensen this afternoon.” Against every
instinct I have, I go.

Macy

He
left me. I woke so full of hope, thinking I was free, but I’m trapped in a
different way. Imprisoned by heartache and regret. “He thinks I’m too weak for
him,” I tell Everly as we sit on the back patio, watching Cody play.

“That’s
not true.” Everly’s big brown eyes meet mine.

“It
is and why shouldn’t he think that? It’s all he’s seen. Me in danger, crying,
having damned panic attacks. Of course he’s done. He protects people for a
living. The last thing he needs is to babysit me.”

Everly
shakes her head. “He loves you. He’s just feeling guilty because he thinks he
failed you. Parker’s more sensitive than he likes to let on. The Reed brothers
have to keep up that macho bullshit. Give him a little time and I think you’ll
work things out.”

“In
the meantime, he’ll go back to fucking half the population of Indy.” While
Everly disagrees, her expression says it all. “It doesn’t matter. I have a life
to put back together so I don’t have time to wallow and wait for him to pull
his head out of his ass. Mason’s bringing my car, and I’m going to go clean out
the apartment. The manager said Al never took the lease out of my name so the
place is mine, but I’m donating all the furniture and redecorating.”

“You
don’t have to move out so quickly,” Ev argues.

The
front door bangs closed, and I get to my feet. “I love you and Mason for
everything you’ve done for me, but I need to be on my own for a while. I can do
it.”

Everly
stands and embraces me. “I know you can, but you aren’t alone.”

“We’ll
get together for a girl’s night as soon as I’m settled.”

Mason
tries to talk me out of leaving as well, but a few minutes later, I’m pulling
up outside my old apartment. Less than three months have passed, but it feels
like I’ve been gone for years.

I’m
smacked in the face by the smell of garbage when I step in the door.
Apparently, Al was too busy stalking me to take out the trash. The apartment is
messy, but not disgusting. After removing the garbage and opening all the
windows, it’s not too bad. My phone beeps with a text from Jensen.

-Police
want us to come to station at 2. I’ll pick you up.-

-Thanks,
I’ll be ready.-

That
gives me enough time to go shopping. It feels strange to be by myself after
having constant company for so long. As long as I don’t let myself think about
Parker, it feels a little exhilarating to be on my own.

My
first stop is a furniture warehouse. I’m not picky and I shop for comfort and
function more than appearance, but I fall in love with a cherry wood sleigh
bed. After ordering it along with the matching dresser and night stands, I move
to the living room suites.

A
gray couch and loveseat combo are soon added to my total. I’m giving my credit
card a workout, but after the last few months, I deserve it. After arranging to
have it all delivered tomorrow afternoon, I stop by a Superstore for a few
groceries and cleaning supplies. I’m home in just enough time to grab a shower
before Jensen gets here.

My
weak ankle aches as I stand in the shower, reminding me I’ve not been on it
unsupported for this long. Oh well, I’ll rest it later. I’ve also forgotten to
eat lunch. Parker would have a fit.

My
determined mood instantly falls as Parker’s smile flashes in front of me. It
hasn’t been a day and I miss him already. I just have to stay busy. Stay
strong. I have plenty to do to get my life in order and I damn sure don’t need
a man holding my hand to get it accomplished.

I
manage to keep myself together until Jensen is standing in my living room. The
night before comes flooding back and I burst into tears. This man saved my
life. He killed for me. “Thank you,” I sob, grabbing him in a tight hug.

“Hey
now, don’t cry. Everything’s okay.” He awkwardly rubs my back.

“I’m
so sorry. Sorry you had to kill someone.” I step back and wipe my eyes.

“You
have nothing to be sorry about. I don’t regret shooting that asshole. I’m just
sorry I didn’t get him the first time, before he could hurt you.”

“Let’s
just call it water under the bridge. I need to put all this behind me.”

“Sounds
good.”

“By
the way, my P.A. Janet has a huge crush on you,” I tell him as we make our way
to his car.

“Little
blond at your office?”

“Yep.”

“Oh,
you need to hook that up, sweetheart.”

Laughing,
I agree.

Our
visit to the police station isn’t as bad as I feared. My eyes keep darting to
the door, afraid Parker will show up to give his statement, until Jensen
assures me he’s already been here. Less than an hour after we left the house,
we’re back at my apartment.

“Shit,”
Jensen curses, rounding the car to open the trunk. “I almost forgot. Parker
asked me to give you your stuff.”

I
swallow the lump in my throat when he pulls out my suitcase and laptop bag.
“Thanks. Do you know if Striking Back accepts furniture donations?”

“Absolutely,
you looking to get rid of something?”

“Everything
in the living room and bedroom. I have new stuff being delivered tomorrow.”

“Sure,
let me make a call.”

“It
doesn’t have to be this minute.” I laugh. “You’ve done enough, really.”

“It’s
okay. Just takes a second. They can send a volunteer. Would you rather they
come today or tomorrow?”

I
lead him into the living room. “Whatever works.”

“Would
you like me to wait with you until they show up?” he asks, after making the
call.

He
really is a sweetheart. “Nope, I’m good. Just going to grab something to eat
and start cleaning.”

I’m
surprised when he hugs me. “Take care of yourself, girl. Go easy on that ankle
and don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks
for everything,” I mumble into his neck.

“I
mean it. I never had a little sister so you’re now stuck with the position.”

“I’m
honored.”

See,
I tell myself as I close the door behind him, there are still good guys out
there. And maybe someday when I’m able to think about Parker without my stomach
knotting up, I’ll find another one.

Ms.
Den shows up with two volunteers to retrieve the furniture. “I just had to see
how you’re doing,” she says, giving me a big hug. “And feed you of course.” She
places two aluminum pans on the table.

“Thank
you! You didn’t have to do that.”

“You
cleaning house?” Her wise eyes dart around the living room as the volunteers
begin carrying furniture to the panel van out front.

“I
need a change.”

“My
grandma used to say a change is as good as a rest. Of course, she also used to
tell me to quit going around my ass to get to my elbow, so take that as you
will.”

It
feels good to laugh. “I’m glad you came. I want to thank you for everything
you’ve done. When things settle down, I’ll be sure to pop in Striking Back to
help out.”

“You
do that, honey, and don’t let none of Parker’s bullshit keep you away. I swear
if that boy had a second brain it’d be lonely.”

I
giggle until tears roll down my face. We chat and laugh until the van’s loaded
and they have to go. Like Ev, Mason, and Jensen, she makes me promise to call
if I need anything or just want to talk. I may be single, but I’m not alone and
that really helps me keep going.

When
I settle into my double size recliner—my lone piece of living room furniture—to
sleep, I realize I’ve made it through the day without breaking down over
Parker. No crying or panic attacks. I’m a little proud of myself. With reruns
of an old sitcom playing on the T.V. for company, I fall into a deep sleep.

I
don’t know what wakes me, the nightmare or the fact I can’t breathe. The clock
tells me it’s nearly five a.m. when I stumble out of the recliner. Not knowing
where to go, I sit down on the cool floor and try to talk myself through the
worst attack I’ve had in weeks.

Dizziness
is making me nauseous and the dark encroaching on the edges of my vision makes
me afraid I’m going to pass out. Parker’s voice sounds in my head. “Breathe,
doll. In and out. The air is there. Just breathe. You can do it.”

I
can
do it. I force myself to focus on my breathing and my vision slowly
clears, the nausea abating. I grab for the T.V. remote and switch to a movie.
Distraction, that’s what helps the most. I crawl back into the recliner and
cuddle up with my blanket.

As
I watch the window for any sign of dawn approaching, I’ve never felt so lonely
in my life. My eyelids grow heavy and the next thing I know, my eight o’clock
alarm is blaring. I made it through the night. Time to start day two of my new
life.

* * * *

The
new furniture looks great and with the new airy lace curtains in the living
room, the room is much brighter, more cheerful. I’ve always loved the yellow
walls, but it was so dreary with Al’s dark curtains. I make up my bed with
clean sheets and a new body pillow, bought because I need something to cuddle
at night.

By
that evening, my apartment is sparkling clean and doesn’t have a trace of Al
left in it. The man down the hall works for a thrift store and was more than
happy to take Al’s clothes. Since he has no family to claim anything, the rest
gets tossed.

Janet
is thrilled when I call to tell her we’re going back to the office. We make
plans to meet for breakfast first, and I find myself really looking forward to
the next day. After pigging out on Ms. Den’s chicken alfredo, followed by a
large slice of chocolate cake, I crawl into bed.

Despite
feeling exhausted, I can’t sleep. I’ve tried to block out all thoughts of
Parker, but as I lie here, the bed feels massive. And so damned empty. I
remember the magical night in Vegas, watching the dancing fountains as he
whispered his love into my ear. Was that really only a few days ago? I was so
happy. When it comes to Parker, I guess the saying is true. What happens in
Vegas stays in Vegas.

I’ve
been so strong and I can’t help but be a bit disappointed in myself when I cry
myself to sleep. Another day. Another nightmare. Another panic attack. At least
this one waited until my usual wake up time. I can’t keep going on like this.
As much as I hate to, I’m going to have to see a therapist if I want to move
on.

I’m
feeling better by the time Janet comes bouncing into the corner café, all
smiles. “Macy! I’m so glad to see you looking all healthy. You scared the shit
out of me, and your hot bodyguards wouldn’t let me see you.”

“Don’t
take it personal. They kept everyone away. I’m sorry you were there that day. I
never meant to put you in danger.”

She
flops into the seat across from me and shrugs. “You didn’t, he did, and from
what I hear, he got what was coming to him.”

“That
he did.”

“So,”
she chirps, “I have some amazing news. A.L. Primm contacted me about editing
her new series.”

My
jaw drops. A.L. Primm is the hottest new romance writer and it’s no secret
she’s been trying to break her contract with her publisher to go Indie.
Apparently, she was successful. This is a huge account.

“Don’t
screw with me, girl,” I warn, and Janet giggles.

“Five
books, Macy. She saw the work you did on Mina Kull’s books and tracked you
down.”

“This
is huge! We’ll get more work than we can handle!” I cry.

“She
wants to meet you this week if you can.”

“Are
you kidding? Anytime, anywhere. Set it up.” Damn, did I need some good news.

“You
got it.”

“I
have some news for you too.” Her eyebrows climb her forehead at the sight of my
teasing smile. “Jensen wants to take you out.”

Confusion
clouds her face. “Jensen?”

“Giant
muscled bear of a man? My bodyguard the day I was attacked?”

Janet’s
blue eyes nearly fall out of her head. “Are you serious? Did you give him my
number?”

“I
wanted to check with you first.”

“Do
it! Text it to him now!”

Laughing,
I do as she asks. “Finish your breakfast. We’ve got to kick some ass to finish
our existing projects if we’re going to work with A. L. Primm.”

* * * *

Indecision
is my biggest enemy as I stand outside the therapist’s office. I hate this. I
shouldn’t have to go whining to a stranger to solve my problems. I just don’t
see any other option.

The
panic attacks are exhausting and I have a ton of work to do. Determined to see
this through, I venture inside. A short wait later, I’m ushered into the office
of a kind eyed older woman. “Um, I’ve never done this before and I don’t know
what to say,” I mumble.