Parallel Parking (16 page)

“Oh, god,” Mads said. “She’ll never forgive me. She’ll hate me forever.”

“Mads, this is big,” Lina said. “Telling her what happened will probably hurt her, but it might help her, too, in the long
run. If she can’t trust Sean, she should know that.”

“I hate this,” Mads said. “Why does everything good
always have to come with something bad? Why can’t the good things just happen in a purely good way that makes everybody happy?”

“They just don’t,” Lina said. “Not this time. What about Stephen?”

Mads sighed over the phone. “I guess I’ll have to break up with him. It will be so sad. We’re like buddies now. Love buddies.”

“You’re really good together,” Lina said. “Sean doesn’t last long with anybody, you know. You could be kicked to the curb
faster than you think.”

“No,” Mads said. “I don’t think so. This is fate. The real thing. You know how I’ve felt about him, ever since I first saw
him. What could be more real than that? It took time for him to come around, but that’s okay. He’s the one for me.”

God, she’s so delusional
, Lina thought. But it was no good telling Mads that—she would never listen. “I hope you know what you’re doing,” Lina said.
“Just be careful.”

“I will,” Mads said, but Lina knew she wouldn’t. Being careful wasn’t Mads’ way.

“Where did you get that thing?” Ramona reached inside Lina’s locker and pulled out a small stuffed hamster that hung by the
tail from a coat hook. “Sure is ugly.”

“Rex gave it to me,” Lina said. She’d suggested he give
her flowers, but he thought Ramona would find the hamster more believable.

“Rex did?” Ramona tried to look uninterested, but Lina could tell she was faking it.

“Yeah. You know, his hamsters died? He said that in a way that’s what brought us together.”

“In a pretty roundabout way,” Ramona said.

“That’s what I think,” Lina said. “Have you heard anything from him lately?”

“No,” Ramona said. “Thank god. I sure am glad I got rid of him. You can have him.”

“Great! Thanks!” Lina said.

“Thanks?” Ramona said. “You
want
him?”

“He’s growing on me,” Lina said. “Sure, he’s super-straight and all that, but when he likes a girl, he really likes her. All
the way. On the outside he might look dull, but on the inside he’s a tiger. Dramatic. All the big emotions swirling around.
Being with him is like being in an opera. Or a big tragedy. It’s big, big, big.”

“I thought you didn’t like him,” Ramona said. “You like Walker.”

“Sure, Walker’s great, for a
regular
guy,” Lina said. “But Rex is different. He’s not like any other guy I’ve ever known. He’s special.”

“Rex wants a poet,” Ramona said. “A
real
poet.”

“Are you implying I’m not a real poet?” Lina said.

Ramona shrugged. “Lately all you write is sports news. Not many people consider that poetry.”

“Maybe Rex does.”

“So, are you two going to get together?” Ramona asked. “Are you going to dump Walker?”

Lina thought,
A-ha, she does care
.

“Maybe,” Lina said. “If things keep going well. And if you really don’t want him. But I think he’s pretty much over you by
now.”

“I don’t want him,” Ramona said. “But he’s not over me. Not yet.”

“How do you know?” Lina asked.

“No one gets over me,” Ramona said. “Not that fast.”

Lina smiled. The plan was working. At least, she hoped it was. Ramona acted as if she didn’t care. But there was a heart beating
somewhere under all that ragged black chiffon.

To:     hollygolitely

From: your daily horoscope

HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: CAPRICORN: Get ready for a good whomp upside the head. Yeah, another one.

C
ome on, Mads, stop stalling,” Holly said.

Mads had come home with Holly after school, saying she needed to talk. But once at Holly’s house Mads kept dillydallying,
raiding the fridge, putting on music, channel surfing on the TV, asking to see what Holly was wearing to the Hap. Everything
but seriously talking. Holly’s nerves buzzed; she could sense that something was up, and she wanted to get it over with. “What
did you come over to tell me?”

“Is this new?” Mads picked up a large Mayan bowl that sat near the fireplace. “I don’t think I’ve seen it before.”

Holly took the bowl out of Mads’ hands and put it down. She led her to the couch and forced her to sit. Then she moved the
remote out of Mads’ reach.

“Stop it,” Holly said. “Talk.”

Mads squirmed. “Can I have something to drink?”

“No,” Holly said. She sat across from Mads, waiting.

“Okay,” Mads said. “Remember, I’m telling you this because I’m your friend. You mean a lot to me—so much that I don’t want
to keep any secrets from you. Especially important secrets. That’s how much I care.”

“Spill it.”

Mads took a deep breath, squeezed her eyes shut, and blurted, “Sean kissed me.”

“What?” Holly’s pulse quickened. She was suddenly aware of the veins in her wrists.

“I’m really sorry!” Mads said. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t do anything to provoke it, I swear. It just… happened.”

“When he took you driving?” Holly asked.

Mads nodded.

Of course, it had to be the driving lesson. Sean and Mads alone in the car… The idea had made her uncomfortable,
but she wouldn’t let herself dwell on it. She trusted them, she told herself, both Sean and Mads. Her sort-of boyfriend and
one of her two best friends. She should be able to leave them alone together. But it looked as if she was wrong.

There was one last hope, one last way out. “You mean on the cheek, right?” Holly asked, knowing that wasn’t what Mads meant.

Mads bit her lip. “No. Not on the cheek.”

“A real kiss? A kiss kiss?” She paused. “A French kiss?”

Mads nodded sheepishly.

Holly sat in her chair, squeezing the armrests with her hands, feeling the blood race through her body. An image of Sean and
Mads locked in an embrace formed in her mind. It hovered just long enough to make her stomach hurt before she forced it away.

She didn’t like
everything
about Sean. But she liked him. She wanted him to like her. And her alone.

She stared at Mads, who looked extremely nervous. Mads could seem sweet and childlike. But that was deceptive. Holly had always
known that. She loved Mads anyway. She loved her contradictions. Until now, when they slapped her in the face.

Mads squirmed. She was obviously miserable. This only irritated Holly more. If Mads felt so sorry about
kissing Sean, why had she let it happen? Holly knew Mads never tried to stop him. Kissing Sean was Mads’ dream. She’d run
over her own mother with a Jet Ski for a chance to kiss Sean. It was the great romantic moment of her life. What was Holly’s
friendship and trust compared to that? Nothing. Dispensable. Expendable. Useless.

Holly rose to her feet. She was so mad, she felt as if her skin were steaming.

“How could you do this to me?” she demanded. “How
could
you? I was open with you. You knew I was seeing Sean. I told you everything. I let him take you out to teach you to parallel
park. Don’t you think I knew I was taking my chances when I did that? I knew. But did I say a word? No. I thought I could
trust you. I knew you’d be alone with the boy of your dreams and you’d probably try something fishy, but I thought,
No, Mads is my friend. She’d never do anything to hurt me. I can trust her
. I’m so stupid!”

“Holly, please!” Mads cried. “I’m so sorry! But what about Sean? Shouldn’t you be mad at him instead of me? I mean, he started
it!”

“And you put up a big fight, didn’t you,” Holly said.

“Well…”

“You didn’t,” Holly said. “I know you.”

“Holly, I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” Mads said.

“You weren’t thinking about me at all,” Holly said.

“You know, I didn’t tell you this, but Sean first asked me out a long time ago. Weeks ago. And I said no. You know why? Because
I thought it would upset you. Even though you have a boyfriend and you have no claim to Sean at all, no right to keep me or
him or anyone from dating anyone, I said no to him because I care about you.”

“What made you finally say yes?” Mads asked.

Holly paused. This question didn’t fit into the self-righteous speech she was in the middle of making. But it was there, dangling
in front of her, and it had to be answered.

“I finally said yes because he kept after me and I started to like him, and I saw how happy you were with Stephen. But before
I said yes or did anything, I
asked you
, if you recall. I
asked you
how you would feel about it. And you said you were fine with it. And then, and only then, did I agree to go out with Sean.
So you see, I never once forgot about your feelings. I thought about you and how you’d feel the whole time. Meanwhile, any
thought of me went out the window as soon as Sean showed up at your door.”

“No, Holly, that’s not true,” Mads said.

She had tears in her eyes, and Holly felt bad for her. She couldn’t help it. Holly tried to stay hard, stay angry. She was
hurt. Mads had betrayed her. Sean had betrayed her. Did Lina know about this? Or Stephen?

“What about Stephen?” Holly asked. “Have you trampled over him as carelessly as you’ve trampled over me?”

“I haven’t told him anything yet….” Mads said.

“Well, brace yourself, because he’ll be hurt,” Holly said.

Mads sobbed. Holly couldn’t comfort her. Holly felt very alone.

“Mads, I would never do something like this to you,” she said quietly.

“I know,” Mads said, the tears flowing. “You’re such a good friend, and I’m so sorry….”

Holly couldn’t stand to watch her cry any longer. Shouldn’t
she
be the one who was crying? “Could you just leave now?” Holly said. “I feel like being alone.”

“Are you sure?” Mads said. “Maybe I can do something for you. Get you something? Make cookies? Or fudge? I don’t want to leave
this way, Holly, with you all mad at me. Isn’t there some way I can make it up to you? Some way we can be friends?”

“I don’t know,” Holly said. “Just go now.”

She walked to the door and opened it for Mads, who didn’t move. Holly stood her ground. Mads picked up her bag and walked
slowly to the door, crying. Holly felt sad and angry at the same time. Her heart kept hardening and softening with every beat.
She just wanted Mads out of there so she could go to her room and cry in peace.

“Call me?” Mads sniffled weakly.

“Good-bye,” Holly said.

She closed the door. She heard Mads sob on the other side. Then she went to her room, closed the door, and turned the music
up loud.

To:     mad4u

From: your daily horoscope

HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: VIRGO: If you’re feeling out of it, just remember: Putting Ambien in your cereal isn’t good for
your concentration.

F
or the next few days, Mads walked through the halls of RSAGE like a zombie. Her feelings were muddled, good and bad, but all
strong, fighting for dominance inside her. Paying attention in class was impossible. She flunked a geometry quiz. She was
constantly on the lookout for Sean, who suddenly seemed scarce. If she caught a glimpse of him, her mood soared. He was the
whole reason behind everything that had
happened, the reason her life was a mess. It had to be worth it… right?

Holly wasn’t speaking to her and avoided her whenever possible. Lina seemed torn between her two friends, unsure what to do,
trying to comfort them both but not really able to help either one. And Stephen… Mads was avoiding him. It wasn’t so hard,
since she didn’t see much of him at school anyway. Normally she missed him, but now she was afraid. She didn’t know how to
face him. What would he say? Had he heard somehow? Would he take one look at her face and know?

After the fiasco with Holly, Mads wasn’t eager to go to Stephen and confess. What would that accomplish, anyway? It would
only start a fight. Mads didn’t need another enemy. Still, she couldn’t lie to him. So whenever she saw him coming, she ducked
away.

But on Wednesday he caught her at last. She was leaving the biology lab. He waited for her at the door. She couldn’t escape.

He took her by one arm and steered her into a corner. “Hey,” he said. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I know,” she said. “Where’ve you been?”

He half-smiled. “Is everything okay?”

“Sure,” she said, too chicken to be honest. “Of course. What do you mean?” On
mean
her voice rose to a
suspiciously nervous squeak.

“You’ve been kind of distant lately,” Stephen said. “Never home when I call, never around at school… Almost as if you’re
avoiding me.”

“I’ve been busy, that’s all,” she said. “So many tests and things…”

“Well, I was just wondering if anything was up,” Stephen said. His calmness, his patience, were heartbreaking.

“Nothing’s up. Really.” If she were going to tell him anything, she wouldn’t do it there, in the school hallway, in the middle
of the day. She didn’t want a public scene, and he wouldn’t appreciate it either.

“Listen,” he said. “I don’t know what’s going on. But I’ve got a funny feeling. So I just wanted to tell you that if you don’t
want to go to the dance with me anymore, that’s okay. I’ll understand. Just tell me so I’ll know.”

The dance… a complicated issue. Ever since the big kiss, Mads had been waiting for Sean to come back for more. And she was
hoping he’d ask her to the dance. But as of now he was going to the dance with Holly. Would he break up with Holly in order
to take Mads? Maybe, maybe not. If not, Mads still wanted to go with Stephen. She still wanted a date. But what if Sean asked
her? Then she’d have to break it off with Stephen… Her head was
spinning. Too many
if
s.

I should tell him
, she thought.
So he can ask someone else to the Hap if he wants
.