Parallel Parking (14 page)

“No! No!” He leaned forward and shouted at the TV. “Foul!” He sat back and turned to Holly. “Like it?”

“Mmm-hmm.” She nodded, her mouth full of piping hot macaroni.

“Awesome.”

He got back into the game. The phone rang again. He reached over to the end table and picked it up. “Y-ello? Hey. Yeah, I’m
sorry. I meant to call you, but I didn’t have time. Um… I was sick. Yeah. No, I’m fine now. Nothing serious. Okay. I’ll call
you later. All right. Bye.”

He hung up. “Maybe I ought to turn the ringer off. I hate all these interruptions. How can I watch the game?”

He turned off the phone. “Now we can relax. Go, go, go! Oh, dude! How could you miss that shot?” Back to Holly: “Are you a
Spurs fan?”

“Not really.”

Holly stared at the TV until her eyes glazed over. She liked sports; it wasn’t that—though basketball wasn’t her favorite.
And she couldn’t care less what happened to either of these teams, the Spurs or the Celtics.

But this was only her third date with Sean. The first two had been great. And then he’d asked her to the dance, which was
very romantic. But what kind of date was this? Sitting on the couch watching basketball and eating microwave macaroni and
cheese? She had the feeling he was already taking her for granted. He sure wasn’t trying very hard to see that she had a good
time. He didn’t even seem to care.

When the game was over, she asked him to drive her home. In the car in front of her house, she had his undivided attention.
At last.

To:     mad4u

From: your daily horoscope

HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: VIRGO: Road rage is not the answer. And “Who ate all the Pop Tarts?” is not the question.

M
ads! Did you pass?”

Mads found Lina and Ramona waiting for her outside the driver’s ed classroom.

They’d all taken their first driving test that day. Mads had passed the written part, no problem. Then came the driving part.

She did everything pretty well. Head-in parking, three-point turn, backing up, signaling… Then came her Waterloo: parallel
parking. She ran over the curb twice.

She nearly knocked the muffler off the student driver car.

“No, I failed,” Mads said. “Parallel parking.”

“Join the club,” Ramona said.

“What did you fail on?” Mads asked, glad she wasn’t the only one.

“Road rage. I got pissed off and ran over all the cones. Something possessed me. I just wanted to see how many I could knock
down.”

“It’s not a carnival game,” Lina said.

“It should be,” Ramona said. “Driver’s ed is so stupid.”

“Did you pass?” Mads asked Lina.

“What do you think?” Ramona said. “Miss Perfect. Now she doesn’t have to go to class anymore.”

“Don’t worry, you guys,” Lina said. “You get two more chances before you totally fail the class.”

“I don’t care about the stupid class,” Mads said. “I want to get my license! And I never want to look at Mitchell’s mustache
and know what he had for lunch again.”

“You’ll pass next time,” Lina said. “You both will.”

“I don’t see how,” Mads said. “Parallel parking is impossible! It goes against the laws of physics. Or nature. Or something.”

“Calm down,” Lina said. “Do you want to go get coffee?”

“I’ve got to go home,” Mads said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

She stormed back to her locker to get her jacket. As she left the school building, still in a foul mood, she came across Holly
and Sean. There were talking for a few minutes before Sean went to swim practice.

Great. This was all she needed.

She stopped, wondering if she should go around another way. But Holly spotted her and waved. Too late.

“Mads, how did your test go?” Holly asked.

“Crappy,” Mads snapped. “I failed.”

“Parallel parking?” Holly asked.

Mads nodded and kicked a stone in the dirt. She was boiling with frustration. “It’s driving me crazy! I just don’t get it!
I’ll never learn to drive. I can’t take it!”

“Kid, you can’t parallel park?” Sean said. “It’s so not hard.”

“Not hard for you, maybe,” Mads said. “It’s like I’ve got a block against it or something.”

“Maybe it is me,” Sean said. “I’m an awesome driver.”

Holly laughed. “You mean you’re
fast.”

“Not just fast,” Sean said. “Fast and good. Really good. You should see me on the highway.”

Mads felt weird standing there listening to them banter. They seemed to have forgotten about her, as if she were invisible.

“Come on,” Holly said. “How many accidents have you had since you got your license?”

“Zero,” Sean said. “A few speeding tickets, sure… Hey, you don’t believe me, do you? Are you doubting my driving supremacy?”

“I’m just saying your skills are not out of the ordinary,” Holly said.

“You’re out of line, and I’ll prove it,” Sean said. “Parallel parking is my specialty. I bet I can teach the kid here to parallel
park in one easy lesson.”

“You can?” A thrill rushed up Mads’ spine. This conversation suddenly got a lot more interesting. “No one has been able to
do that yet.”

Holly frowned. “Including me.”

“Well, I can,” Sean said. “If I do it, will you admit I’m the King of Parking?”

“I guess so,” Holly said.

“Great,” Sean said. “When do you want your master class, kid?”

“How about tomorrow?” Mads couldn’t believe this was happening. Her day had gone from terrible to fantastic. Sean was going
to teach her to park!

“Okay, tomorrow afternoon,” Sean said. “I’ll pick you up. Holly knows where you live, right?”

“Right. Actually, you’ve been there before. You came
to a party at my house once.” So he didn’t remember. So what? This time he wouldn’t forget.

“I did? Oh. Well, I guess I can find it. See you around four.”

He and Holly walked toward the swim center. Mads went to get her bike. She felt like running and squealing with joy. Sean
himself was going to teach her to drive! She was going to be all alone with him—in his car! It was too much.

She tried to walk normally, to stay calm. She didn’t want Holly to look back and see how thrilled she was. After all, Holly
was dating him now. And Mads was cool with it. Totally cool.

To:     From: linaonme

From: your daily horoscope

HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: CANCER: When you’ve got a pest, you call an exterminator. When that doesn’t work, you move. Start
packing.

H
ow did she like the tarot card deck?” Lina asked Rex. She’d gone to the lower level of the library to find a book and found
Rex instead, leaning against a stack.

Rex had made a set of personalized tarot cards for Ramona, hoping to impress her. He spent hours drawing and painting the
cards. He even made the Empress look like her.

“Here’s how she liked it.” Rex showed Lina the cards. Ramona had sent them back, ripped up, with a note that said,
I’m not the Empress. I’m the High Priestess
.

Lina sifted through the ruined set. “Ouch. Are you okay? You put a lot of work into these.”

“I knew getting her to like me wouldn’t be easy,” he said. “I’m starting to think it’s impossible.”

“Maybe it is,” Lina said. “There are lots of girls around who’d love a custom-made tarot deck. Why waste all your energy on
someone who’s so mean to you?”

The stricken look on his face made her backpedal. “I mean, someone who’s so not worth it?”

“I still think she’s worth it,” Rex said.

“Okay,” Lina said. “But you’re a nice guy. You should be with someone who’s nice, too. Nice to you, I mean.”

A kind of A-ha! look flashed across Rex’s face.
He finally gets it
, Lina thought.
Time to give up on Ramona
.

“You’re
nice,” Rex said.

“Thank you,” Lina said.

“I mean, you’ve been really nice to me,” Rex said. “You’ve done so much to help me….”

“I really haven’t done that much,” Lina said.

“So… are you saying I should be with a nice girl… like you?” Rex said.

No, no
. This was not going the way Lina had hoped.

“Sure, a nice girl
like
me,” she said. “As in,
similar to
me. But not me.”

Rex took a step toward her. Lina took a step back.

“Why not you?” Rex said. “You’re very pretty.”

“Thank you, Rex,” Lina said. “But you know, I’m actually not all that nice. Just ask any of my friends. And I have no soul
at all—not compared to Ramona. She’s the one with tons and tons of soul.”

“That’s not true.” Rex took another step toward her. She took another step back. This guy wanted a girlfriend in the worst
way. “You’ve got soul. You wouldn’t have helped me if you didn’t.”

“No, really, I don’t,” Lina said. “You know what I like? Great big shopping malls. And parking lots full of shiny cars. And
fast food! I love fast food and canned, predictable music and remakes of remakes of cheesy movies and McMansions, and anything
plastic and—”

He laughed. “See? Your sense of humor proves you’ve got soul.” He took another step forward. She was backed up against a stack
with nowhere to go.

“Forget it, Rex. I have a boyfriend. His name is Walker. I like him very much.”
Very, very, very, very much
. More than ever, now that she saw the alternative up close.

“Lina, will you go to the Hap with me?”

“Did you hear what I just said? I have a boyfriend. I’m going to the Hap with him.”

Rex drooped. “Oh, why do I always like girls who don’t like me back? Is it some kind of curse?”

“No,” Lina said, “it’s—”

She froze. It was human nature. To want something you can’t have. Some people wanted the unattainable more strongly than others.
Still, it was a human trait. And Ramona was human. Sort of.

“You still like Ramona, don’t you, Rex?” she asked. “Deep down? Tell me the truth.”

“Sure, I do,” Rex said. He began to quote “Wheel of Death” from memory.

“That’s enough,” Lina said. How could Ramona not love a guy who memorized her awful poems? It seemed impossible. “Don’t give
up on her yet. I have a new idea.”

“But we’ve tried everything. She doesn’t like me.”

“She might like you if she thinks she can’t have you,” Lina said. “If you
pretend
to like me, maybe she’ll get jealous.”

“That’s game-playing,” Rex said. “She’s above that.”

Lina laughed. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“Hey, Lina, I was thinking about the Hap,” Walker said. He found Lina later that day, sitting with her laptop in the
courtyard, checking her e-mail. “Am I supposed to get you a corsage or something? My mother said I should, but to me it’s
totally… Hey, what are you reading?”

There was no point in hiding it. It was a message from Rex.

Lina—My heart bleeds for you. It’s like a bloody piece of steak. Not the kind you buy at the supermarket, wrapped in plastic.
The really super-bloody kind that you buy at a butcher shop.

“Isn’t Rex the guy you were fixing up with Ramona?” Walker asked.

“Yes.”

“What is he, some kind of weirdo?” Walker said.

“Yes,” Lina said.

“So, what, he’s into you now? Or he’s just hungry for a steak? I don’t really get it.”

“It’s my new matchmaking plan,” Lina said. “He’s pretending to like me in order to get Ramona jealous. At least, I hope he’s
pretending.”

“But how will she know he’s e-mailing these freaky messages to you?” Walker asked.

“I’ll show you.” Lina pressed FORWARD, then put Ramona’s e-mail address in the SEND box.

“Whoops,” she said. “My finger slipped.”

Then she sent Ramona another e-mail, which said:

Sorry! I forwarded that last message to you by mistake. Just ignore it.

“Seems like a lot of trouble to go to for a couple of freaks,” Walker said.

“I know,” Lina said. “But if I don’t keep Rex busy chasing Ramona, he’ll come after me. I can’t handle that.”

To:     mad4u

To:     From:your daily horoscope

HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: VIRGO: Five-star day! To be followed by a negative-five-star day. What goes up must come down.

O
kay, the first rule of driving is: You’ve got to look good in your car. Right? I mean, what’s the point if you don’t look
cool?”

Sean, sitting in the passenger seat of his mother’s Honda (“The Jeep’s too hard to handle for a beginner,” he told Mads),
studied Mads’ cool quotient. She was sitting up straight in the driver’s seat, hands at ten o’clock and two, trying to see
over the wheel. And desperately
trying to steady her shaking hands.

Sean was sitting right next to her. In a car. So close, she could feel his breath on her neck.

“See, this is all wrong,” Sean said. “You can’t look so perky in your car. You’ve got to
cruise.”
He pressed a lever, making the seat rise. “Now you’re sitting higher, so you can slouch. Lean back in your seat. Right hand
on the steering wheel, left arm resting on the open door window. There you go.”

He touched her hand!
Stay cool, stay cool
. “Hey, you’re right. I do feel cooler.”

“What did I tell you?” Sean said.

The moment had finally arrived: Mads’ driving lesson with Sean. The twenty-four hours between his offer to teach her and picking
her up at her house had felt like twenty-four years. And she’d spent the whole time deciding what to wear. She tried on every
outfit in her closet. She spent three hours on her makeup alone. She was torn between looking fabulous and looking effortless.
She ended up somewhere in between.

Now she was alone with him in the car, his attention completely focused on her. The school parking lot had never looked so
beautiful. The asphalt seemed to sparkle with stars. From this day forward Mads would always have a soft spot for silver Honda
four-door sedans.

“Now, what’s the deal here? Parallel parking?” Sean said. “Unfortunately you need to use two hands for that. But you can still
look cool.”