Paradox Love: Paradox Love Book 1 (18 page)

“What would that be in this case?”

“In this case, it might be that brother and sister could be next door neighbors.”

It took another sip of coffee before Nancy realized what Clare was suggesting.

“You mean you want
me
to take one of them?”

“Why not?  You shouldn’t be alone so much.”

Nancy didn’t comment on that.  She didn’t feel lonely.  Luke was around a lot.  And Nancy was a homebody.  She enjoyed her routine and her hobbies.  No, she wasn’t lonely.

But there was something about her interaction with little Grace that brought a certain kind of joy.  Perhaps it was the simple act of growing older that gave one a greater sense of the preciousness of new life.  Maybe it was just the feeling of being particularly liked by the darling little dog.  She’d never had a daughter.  Maybe it wasn’t too late to see what that felt like to have a girl in the house.  There was a moment’s pause as she thought it over.

“Well, if I were to take her, I would have to change her name.”

“Of course.  Of course.  Whatever you like.”

“It’s a sweet name.  It isn’t that I don’t care for it.”

“Oh my goodness,” Clare went to retrieve a box of tissues as Nancy’s eyes filled.

She handed it to her and retook her seat. 

“What is it?”

And as she pulled out a tissue and moved it to her eyes, Nancy told Clare the story of her son, Luke and his Grace and of the long and difficult journey of his life. 

In all these years, she had never really discussed it in great detail.  Luke deserved his privacy.  And it was no one’s business, anyway.  She was not one for spilling the personal details of her life or her family’s life.  But at her age, at this time, in this home, she felt finally able to release the words to a gentle ear.  Clare listened intently, offering Nancy more tissues from time to time.

There was a marked therapeutic result to finally putting words to all the emotions stacked one upon the next throughout the years.  As she spoke, Nancy reached less and less for the tissues.  As she laid the sentences together, it was as though she were releasing the very weight of anxiety and worry that she’d been storing within herself since the day of Grace’s death. 

Even as she poured out her deep disappointment that her son seemed forever trapped in time by the events of his youth, she felt lighter inside.  Even as she acknowledged his failure to realize the full potential of his life, she felt a release. 

The words continued to flow, and she realized that for all this time, she’d been carrying a heavy weight herself.  She had allowed the circumstances of Luke’s life to convince her that a mother does not move on if their child does not move on.  Because Luke was stuck, she stayed stuck with him. 

It was never the right thing to do.  It was no help to him, either.  It was her job to provide a better example.  She’d lost so many years, beginning that very first dark day.  Perhaps there was still time to live a little.

“I would love to take her.”  A thousand wrinkles could not disguise the youthful anticipation of having her very own puppy.  The excitement bubbled up into a gorgeous smile.  Clare was utterly delighted.

“Lovely!  What will you call her?”

“Sugar.”

* * * * *

Since Nancy lived next door, Sugar was able to stay with her mother and Torch for longer than the rest of their siblings.  The others were relocated to their forever homes one by one, until Sugar and Torch had their mother Fiona all to themselves.  Torch was less anxious now that there were no other pups.  He could find Sugar readily, despite the barrage of scents that sifted through his nostrils at all moments of the day.

In fact, even as a toddler, he was developing a powerful “Sugar radar.”  And as long as he knew where she was, he was content.  She could do whatever she wanted, go wherever she wanted.  Several times each day, she would find her way back to him.  Sometimes she sank down next to him exhausted from all her escapades.  They would rest, their bodies together in warmth.  And never was his heart more calm than during those times.

Nancy was fully committed to the adventure of raising Sugar.  As such, she visited every day.  At each reunion, she was greeted with the ecstatic kisses of a baby girl completely in love with her new human mother.  It was a salve, which served to heal the weariness of a long suffering soul. 

Sugar brought the realization of a universal truth; it was never too late to begin anew.  And at the age of seventy-two, Nancy was suddenly alive again.  Laughter returned, awakening long dormant electrical currents in both body and soul.  She was being literally invigorated by a switch in her thoughts and attitudes.  A body and mind that had given up and was preparing for the end was now living for today, relishing the moments.

As the familiar sound of Luke’s truck engine was heard pulling into the driveway, she wondered whether and how she should try to contain this new giddiness.  It was not like her.  Nor was it like him.  How solemn and boring they’d both become!  No, she decided, she wouldn’t contain it.  This house was going to be full of sugar and there was no point trying to douse it with vinegar.

She watched from the kitchen window as Luke made his way to the front door.  Then she heard the latch being unlocked and the door opening.  Drying her hands, she carried the towel with her and went to meet him. 

“Hi mom,” he spoke as he stepped into the living room and closed the door behind him.  Leaning against the wall behind him was a doggy door kit Nancy had purchased in preparation for Sugar’s pending move.  He didn’t notice it at first.

“Hi, son.” 

She went to hug him and already he was noticing a difference in her.  Smiles were not permanent fixtures in this home.  Nor were they frequent.  And hers seemed frozen upon her face.  He’d forgotten what she looked like as a happy person.

“What is it mom?  Did you win the lottery?”

“Yes!” she declared.

He played along. 

“How much?”

“All the sugar I can carry.  A lifetime supply!”

“Okay.  Was it a baking lottery?”

“Not quite.  More like a litter lottery.  I may have won the runt, but she’s worth her weight in sugar.”

“You keep talking about sugar.  I don’t get it.  And what’s this about a litter?”

“I’m going to be a mama again, son.”

She was enjoying producing the brain scramble she could see in his eyes.  She gestured toward the doggy door kit with her eyes.

The moment he realized what was in store, his head filled with protests.  This was not something he wanted.  Not for her.  Not for him.  Dogs had never brought anything but heartbreak.  He swore he’d never have one.  If Nancy got one, it would be almost as if he owned it with her.  He didn’t want it.

“Mom, at your age?  That’s not fair to a dog.”

“Why not?  I’ve got twenty years left in me.  That’s plenty of time.”

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea.  They’re too much work, mom.”

Even as he said the words, he realized his argument was a losing one. 
Just look at her
, he said to himself.  She
looked
twenty years younger just talking about it.

“Too late!” she declared.  “She’s moving in tomorrow.  And I need that doggy door put in today.”

It was the last thing he wanted.  But how could he argue with that humongous smile?  She was oozing with all the excitement of a kid waiting for her birthday.  If she wanted a dog and it would make her happy, so be it.  She deserved that.  After everything he’d put her through, installing a doggy door was the very least he could do.

“Okay, mom.  Let me get my tools.”

She smiled as he headed back out the door.  She knew that all it would take to change his mind was the feel of that sweet puppy in his arms.

* * * * *

There was life in the house again, represented by the large and comfy dog bed in the living room and another in Nancy’s bedroom.  Life was present in the collection of dog toys scattered about, the pink bowl set to hold food and water.  Life was there, evidenced by the leash that hung next to sets of keys on the wall.  Like a nesting mother preparing a nursery for her new baby, Nancy had done everything required to make a home for Sugar.  And today, it was official.

She watched as Sugar ran about, sniffing everything.  Nancy had witnessed the crazy energy of this dog on many occasions, but today’s exuberance was unprecedented.

From the moment she’d met Nancy, Sugar sensed a deep and abiding connection.  This woman had the essence and bearing of familiarity.  Even more than Francis and Clare, her littermates and even her own mother, this woman ignited within her a frenzy of excitement, the rawest form of attachment.  The scent of her was intoxicating to the senses, to the soul.  Sugar could not get enough of her.  And even as she ran about exploring her new home, she would often run back to Nancy as if to confirm,
“You’re still here.  Good.  Good.”

Sugar was a wreck in the most wonderful way.  It was as though she sought and received confirmation in every single waking moment that she was now and forever exactly where she was supposed to be.  Like a human being in the midst of a dream come true, her constant contact with Nancy seemed to say,
“Pinch me, because this just can’t be real.”

That energy was palpable and contagious.  Nancy accepted it as a constant gift.  Frozen smiles upon the face were here to stay.  She could not keep her mouth from turning upward in genuine joy.

It was soon evident that the dog beds were a waste of money.  Nancy readily invited Sugar to join her on the couch.  And bedtimes were not to be spent apart.  Each had gained a new snuggle buddy. 

Luke had not been over since Sugar’s arrival.  His absence did not go unnoticed.  Nancy had a sense of why he was taking his time getting back.  He was still stuck like she’d been.  He was stubbornly solemn these days. 

He had coaching.  That was it.  If he ever demonstrated even a slight uptick in mood, it was only for that reason.  There were victories, championships won, scholarships garnered by his players.  Those were the highlights.

His track record with dogs was rather bleak.  She understood that.  But his indifference transcended his life like the beauty of nature only and ever observed from behind a dusty screen.  He hadn’t stepped away from that window and out into the brightness of life for years. 

Nancy went about composing a list of items needing fixing around the house.  None were urgently necessary, but that wasn’t the point.  She was not above guilting out her son.  It was for his own good.  Still, he did not come.  A week passed.  Then a few days into the next.  Only when she feigned panic over a nonexistent leak in the bathroom did he finally relent.

She peeked out the window when she heard him coming.  He was unloading tools he would need. 
Gotcha
, she smiled to herself.

The kitchen faced the front of the house and was adjacent to the living room.  The bedrooms were upstairs.  Sugar could not see Luke approaching, but she knew something was up.  She heard the bang of his truck door and then Nancy came to her.  Both stared expectantly toward the front door.  Sugar loved visitors.  Her tail whipped back and forth, sweeping the floor behind her.

And there he was.  He walked in and set down his tools.  Sugar’s tail flipped and flailed like a fish out of water.  Ooooh, this was exciting!  She could smell him from where she stood.  He was delicious.  She wanted more.  Without introduction or hesitation, she bounded toward him.  When she reached him, she was up on her hind legs immediately, her front legs resting on his leg.  She let loose her nose and drank him in.  Little squeals of happy discovery poured out. 

He was not moved.  He didn’t reach down to touch her.  Instead, he looked to his mother. 

“You said it was the upstairs bathroom, right?  Your bathroom?”

Nancy was stunned for a moment.  And then she was sort of afraid to admit right then and there that she’d lied.

“Yes.”

He picked up his tools and walked right by her and toward the stairs.  The clunk of heavy shoes could be heard as he made his way up.

“Nice to see you, too!” she called behind him. 

He rolled his eyes and kept walking.  Behind him, Sugar bounded up as fast as she could.  He walked into the bathroom and looked around.  There were no signs of a leak.  No spread towels.  Sugar was right behind him.  She was sniffing his shoes as he scanned the bathroom.

He turned to go back and ask his mother one more time if it was this bath or the one on the main floor.  He spun around and not immediately seeing Sugar, took a step, his foot landing directly on her paw.  A cry of pain confirmed he’d hurt her.

“Damn it!”  He was more frustrated with her than with himself.  It was her fault, standing right behind him like that.  He couldn’t see her there.  She stumbled backwards, limping into Nancy’s bedroom.  Most visitors were nice.  Not this guy.  She scampered off and hid under the bed.

He wasn’t in the mood for this.  He didn’t want to be forced to be nice to a dog he didn’t care about.  This dog was his mother’s little project.  He wasn’t interested.  Still, he should try to make her understand that he didn’t mean to hurt her.  But that was it.  An apology and nothing more.  He walked over to the bed and dropped to his knees.  Then he lifted the bed skirt.