Paradise Island: Complete Edition (19 page)

“Ready to dig?” Jack said with a huge grin on his face. He was ready to get this thing started. I looked at him now, really looked at him as if I was seeing him for the first time. And you know what? I liked what I saw. A kind man who didn’t have a problem with indulging my whims.

Once Jack saw what I was looking it, or rather who I was looking it, the grin was gone. “What did she want?”

“Oh, nothing. Nothing you need to worry about, that is. She said some pretty hurtful things. I don’t think we’re friends anymore.”

It was hard to see how we would make up, but maybe it was possible if she really apologized for her words and for her actions. I was glad now that most of my stuff was here at Jack’s, because I don’t think I could fathom going back to that cottage ever again. Not as long as there was a chance that I had to see her.

“I’m sorry you had to listen to her crap. I told you what kind of person she was. I’m glad you’re starting to see it as well,” he exhaled sharply and then changed the subject. “Now, about this dig. Where do you want to start?”

It felt strange that he was asking me that question, and it also felt like a lot of pressure. If we ended up wasting our time, all the blame would end up on me.

“Gosh, Jack, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Who are we playing at here, amateur detectives or something? It’s just too much. Maybe I should forget about the whole thing.”

“I’ve actually played a real detective a couple of times, so the only amateur here is you.”

I laughed despite myself. “Fine, let’s start by that tree over there. It seems like the perfect spot to hide a body, doesn’t it?”

And that’s how we spent the next few hours, just digging in different spots until the sweat and tiredness became too much. I put down my shovel first and then Jack did. We looked at our handiwork: the only thing we managed to do in all that time was make his property look terrible.

“Wow, Jack, this is a mess, isn’t it?”

Jack breathed hard, only in his sweaty t-shirt though it was cold outside. He’d long ago taken off his leather jacket. “It’s a start,” he said and laughed. “We’ll pick it up tomorrow. Now it’s time to rest for a bit.”

And rest we did, but not before taking a shower. Jack went first and I was in the other bathroom preparing myself when I noticed I didn’t have any towels left. I looked through the closet but couldn’t find any there. Just blankets and other things I didn’t need. I made my way to Jack’s bathroom, and when I didn’t hear the shower, I sighed in relief.

“Sorry to bother you, but,” I started to say as I turned the corner in his bedroom and found myself standing by the bathroom door which was wide open. Needless to say, Jack Stark was completely naked, or stark naked if you want to be cute. Thankfully, I only saw his back side, which was more than enough. His perfectly muscled back, those legs, that perfect bubble butt of his.

I looked as quickly away as I could, but my eyes had already taken a mental picture. I turned corner. “Sorry! Didn’t mean to sneak up on you. I just need a fresh towel.”

I heard laugher in the bathroom. “I don’t have a problem with people seeing me naked, Sophie. You haven’t seen my movie
Skin
, have you?”

He handed me a big fluffy towel and I took it hastily. “No, I haven’t. And while you might not have a problem being seen naked, I do have a problem seeing you! Bye!”

I ran out of there as fast as I could without tripping over myself. I could still hear faint laughter from Jack’s bathroom as he closed the door behind him. I felt like such a fool. Some things that came out of my mouth even I couldn’t believe. They were true enough, but the way I voiced them made me red with embarrassment. A quick cold shower should help with that, I thought as I closed the bathroom door behind me, thankful that there was so much distance between me and the naked, gorgeous, and very tempting Jack Stark. I listened as he turned on the water in his shower and tried in vain not to think about how he looked as he lathered his perfect body with soap. Stop it, Sophie, I told myself, but the images kept coming back. It wasn’t all my imagination this time, either. I had just seen him. And I remembered seeing him in action with Lucy, which made me mad before, but now was making me hotter than ever. I reached down between my legs and massaged the spot. I never felt so horny in my life. “Oh, God,” I whispered to myself. “Please make this feeling go away.”

The last thing I needed right now was this feeling popping up every time I saw Jack. It would just be too much. I tried to think about all the earth we’d dug up, and I thought about us digging up sixty year old bones, and that helped a little, until my mental image included a sweaty, shirtless Jack in it, which wasn’t helping at all! I shook my head to clear my mind a little faster and focused on the here and now. While Jack’s house was a new construction, I kept wondering ever since my suspicions where exactly Josie had met her end. In what part of this property, or even this house, did she draw her last breath?

Thankfully, I heard Jack shut off his water and I didn’t have to think about such morbid things anymore. I took off my clothes and got in the shower, and let the lukewarm water wash over me, taking the sweat, dirt and grime from my body. Digging was hard work. Hopefully, it would be worth it in the end.

I stayed in the shower a little longer than usual, massaging the spot between my legs, trying not to think about Jack on top of me, taking care of the need for me. I gasped as I came and immediately felt guilty about it. I shouldn’t have these thoughts about any man, much less Jack, a man I was currently living with.

All the lovely things Jack said to me swirled in my mind like water down the drain. And the two unexpected, but nonetheless passionate kisses we shared. Jack liked me, I knew that much from the things he said and did. And I think I was starting to like him as well. He was kind, handsome, and sometimes very funny. What more could a girl ask for? Not to mention that he was wealthy, but I never cared much about that myself. As long as I had a roof over my head and some books by my side, I was more than satisfied. And then I met Jack, who showed me that there’s more to life than hiding in my own shell.

But just as Jack’s words echoed through my mind, so did all the horrible things Lucy had told me today. I didn’t want to believe her, and I thought she was more wrong than right, but I still couldn’t shake off the feeling that maybe she was right after all. Hadn’t I witnessed the things she was describing myself? Hadn’t I see him fucking her, and then indulge without much hesitation in illegal drug use? I wondered if a man like that, a man with those appetites, was truly capable of change. I hoped he was. Or maybe I hoped he wasn’t, so I wouldn’t have to make the difficult decision of whether to let him into my shell or not.

All these thoughts fought a war in my mind as I slowly dried myself, carefully avoiding the sore spot between my legs. It had been so long since I let myself feel anything, and now here I was pining for the one that even though I probably could have, I shouldn’t have, because if Lucy was right, it would all end in tears.

But me and Jack were closer now than even Lucy and me. He knew what I did to Henry, and he even helped me cover it up. And he didn’t run in horror once he learned what I’d done. That must count for something, right?

I let all these thoughts go as I dressed myself in fresh clothing and walked into the living room. I sat down on the comfortable couch and let myself sink into its depths. It felt so good to sit down after so much physical labor.

“I’m starving,” I heard Jack say behind me as he entered the living room. He had just shorts on and he was shirtless. I blushed as I quickly looked away. “Want a sandwich? I’m making myself one.”

“Sure,” I said without looking back. “If it isn’t too much trouble.”

“No trouble at all, my dear,” he said in a faux British accent and I had to smile.

Pretty soon we were sitting on the couch together eating our sandwiches. I couldn’t help but observe as his nipples got smaller and harder. I had the urge to reach out and touch one of them, to make them big and soft again. I felt like such a pervert just thinking about it, so I went back to munching my sandwich, which was delicious, and it went perfectly with the hot tea.

Jack finished his sandwich and got up suddenly. His chest was so close to me that I thought he was trying to seduce me or something. He passed slowly by, giving me good close up view of his perfect ass as he slowly made his way back to the bedroom, but not before he said that he needed to get a shirt because it was getting too chilly in here. I had to hold back a laugh. It was as if he had read my mind about his hard nipples, which made the whole thing that much more embarrassing.

It was already getting dark outside. The sun was setting in the horizon and pretty soon it would be night. I hoped that no rain would come during the night, which might just ruin most of our work.

Jack joined me back on the sofa, but not before he brought over the box of Josie’s journals. “Did you read all these?” He asked, holding up one of the ten volumes or so.

“God no,” I said. “That would take forever. I skimmed through the last few. The only one I’ve read all the way through was the last one, and that one’s not completely full anyway.”

“Could you get it? Maybe we can skim through these and see if any clues pop up?”

I agreed and went back to my room to get the journal. For some inexplicable reason I feared that the drawer would be empty when I opened it but it wasn’t. The journal was where I left it. I made my way back to the living room and sat back in my spot. Jack had taken most of the journals out and arranged them in order.

That’s how we spent the rest of the hour, flipping through Josie’s journals. I feared when Jack took hold of the last journal and flipped through it, but if he did read any of the racy entries, he didn’t make it known to me.

He put the last journal down and rubbed his eyes. “This is too much info at once, isn’t it? It’ll take us several days to really look thoroughly through these, and even then, it doesn’t sound like there will be many clues as to what happened to her. Except for that last entry, of course.”

“Yeah, I’m not finding anything pertinent in the other journals either, though it is fascinating to read the things she wrote as a child and then as a young woman. The contrast, and even some of the similarities, are quite interesting.”

“Does it take you back? Remind you of your own childhood growing up?”

Jack’s question was innocent enough, but my body still went stiff as soon as his words hit me. I fought the urge to run and hide and just sat there in shock. “My childhood,” I started to say, each word difficult to get out. “I don’t like to think much about it. What about yours?”

It was Jack’s turn to be silent. “I don’t like to think about my childhood either. I can’t even look back at the work I did then because all it does is remind me of stuff that happened behind the scenes.”

“You were a child actor? I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, unfortunately. It was my mother’s idea. I haven’t spoken to her in years, if that tells you anything.”

“Do you have any other family?”

“Yeah, I have three brothers. Thankfully, none of them are actors. They saw what it did to me and flat out refused to even consider it.”

“Wow, what do they do?” This was all very fascinating to me. I was an only child, and I often wondered what it would be like to have brothers and sisters. I wasn’t sure if it would have been easier or harder.

“There’s Hunter, the youngest. He’s an artist but right now he’s focusing on his rock band. Aidan is a chef, and Brandon is a professional daredevil.”

“What about your father?”

“He abandoned the family when I was fairly young. Before the acting thing worked out. He tried to get back into our lives later, but mother refused. She said he just wanted our money.”

“I’m sorry for bringing up those painful memories. My father died when I was young, so I guess I know somewhat how you’re feeling.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Frankly, my father leaving us when I was young is one of the least painful memories from my childhood, if that tells you anything.”

I nodded, but I wasn’t exactly sure I got what he was saying. Was being a child actor really that terrible? I guess in one way it would be. Always working, never having a normal childhood to just play and find yourself and your likes and dislikes. The more I thought about it, the more lonely and terrible it sounded. I knew a thing or two about stolen childhoods, but at least I didn’t have to work and be in the public eye for most of it. Sure, after mother moved us to the Crow’s nest, I had to help out on the farm, and never had a moment to myself, even when night came and I thought I was safe in bed, he would come and make that safety feel like a sick prison.

“Are you okay? You seem really sad,” Jack said gently.

I held back the tears. “Sorry, I’m just remembering some not too happy times of my own. Maybe we shouldn’t talk about our pasts.”

I took a long sip of my tea.

“I’ve never told anyone what actually happened behind the scenes,” he said slowly. “But if you ask me, I’m willing to tell you.”

“No, Jack, I’d never do that. I have some terrible memories of my own, and I’d never ask you to relive them for my sake. We should just focus on the here and now, okay?”

Jack looked at the journals he’d so nicely put in order. “I guess, but I’m always reminded about something they say in rehab: that we have to face our past pains to stop our current addictions. That addiction is a form of coping that ends lives, not heals them. I’ve never felt like sharing anything too personal in rehab, either in group therapy or single. Being a public figure, it was bound to come out one way or another, and I just didn’t think it was worth it. I thought I would keep some of those things to myself until the day I died, but then I met you, Sophie, and now I’m not so sure. I want to be completely honest with you about everything. I want you to know everything about me, the good and the bad. I don’t want to keep some of these things to myself any longer.”

I looked at Jack, and now I knew why there was always a hint of pain in his eyes. He hid things behind them, terrible things, maybe as terrible as my own secrets. I tried to forget what had happened to me for years and years. And in a way, it did end up working. I could wake up in the morning without thinking that I’d rather be dead, and I could find joy in little things, mainly nature and a good book. But I realized the error of my ways as soon as I saw the bloody mess I’d made out of Henry. He deserved it, I did not doubt that. He was a sick, sick, man, who was probably going to kill me. It was either him or me. But I remembered all the bottled up rage that spilled ever in those brutal minutes. My hands had shaken for hours after the act, my body not able to forget the terrible deed it had done.