Paradise Found: Cain (Paradise Stories Book 2) (26 page)

Sensing my retreat, he reached out for me. It was only a firm hand on my upper arm.

“You need to get out of those clothes, as well,” he stated the obvious, his voice raspy. The sound slithered around me, but not in a sinister way. In a way that almost undressed me, without him ever touching me.

“The bathroom’s right there.” I pointed behind him, adding a nod to emphasize where he could change. He released me and stepped back, tugging off his coat as he took the two short steps to the door. He turned back; his eyes questioned me. My body screamed yes, but my heart was in control at the moment, and my head shook no. I would not join him in the shower. When I heard it start, taking his liberty with it, I crossed into my small bedroom area and undressed. Throwing on a sweatshirt to warm the chill, I draped my clothes over the kitchen sink. From the small galley kitchen, I could see Cain in my bedroom area, standing in only a towel wrapped around his waist.

“I … I don’t suppose you have anything that fits me?” he teased softly. As a matter of fact, I did. I had a t-shirt of his that I’d stolen from him. His eyes followed the movement of my body as I passed him. I held out a pair of large sweats, which might still be too small for him.

“You’re not wearing pants,” he whispered in a raspy tone.

“I …” I hastened to pull up some pajama pants that lay on the floor near the bed, but twisted, stumbling onto the bed in my surprise. My feet were tangled in the material and we stared at one another. This could go one of two ways. He could come for me, or he could step back and allow me privacy. But this was Cain, and he did neither. He stared at my naked legs and tangled ankles.

“I’ll never fit in your pants.” The irony and hilarity of that statement caught me off guard, and I started to giggle as I stood back up. He turned a shade of red I had never seen on him. I laughed harder.

“Are you blushing?” I teased.

“No,” he bit. A twinge of annoyance laced his voice, but he couldn’t hold it long. I giggled more and he lunged for me, tackling me gently back on the bed. 

“Are you laughing at me?” he snapped, but there wasn’t enough anger to contain the smile slowly crossing his lips.

“No,” I mocked, but snorted instead, which made me laugh even more. It was a nervous reaction to him being in my small apartment, him being so close to me, him being on my bed.

“God, I’ve missed that sound,” he whispered loudly. I stopped instantly and twisted my neck to look at him beside me. His large arm was still over my waist as I lay on my back, my feet dangled off my bed.

“Don’t stop,” he whispered quieter, but the moment was gone. We stared at one another for a long minute. So much to say, and yet, I just wanted to drink him in. Like the rain outside, I just wanted to let his presence wash over me.

“I want to kiss you,” he said, leaning close to take advantage of our position.

“But you won’t,” I stated, calmly, holding his eyes.

“But I won’t,” he muttered. I expected him to release me in frustration. He didn’t often get denied what he wanted, especially with me. I gave in like an easy prey. He’d hypnotize me with that intense look in his eyes, and I’d follow his lead. I’d bite if he asked me. He was my temptation, even though he called me his.

“Your hair is still soaked,” he said, brushing back thick weighted locks.

“Why are you here?” I asked, ignoring the gesture.

“I came to check on you.”

“Are you spying on me?” I huffed, annoyed that he felt he had a right to keep tabs on me.

“No,” he said in the same tone from moments ago. “I just want to see that you’re safe.” His eyes never left mine as he spoke. Genuine concern radiated in their darkness. There had been nights I was too nervous to sleep in the small space. I missed the comfort of him wrapped around me. I missed our shared bed in his home. Our home, he would have corrected me. But when I thought of that bed, I had visions of a snake coiling over another snake. His arms wrapping over
her
legs, and I couldn’t shake the sensation.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, pinching his eyebrows together, concentrating on my face.

“It’s nothing,” I said, attempting to sit up, but his heavy arm over my waist forced me back.

“No, it wasn’t. One minute you had that innocent Sofie look, and the next, you looked like you were going to be sick,” he growled. “What happened?” He shifted up on his elbow to tower over me. His eyes concerned, but his voice on edge.

“It’s nothing … bad,” I emphasized, glancing away from him. It was a lie. It was horrible. The images of him, tangled up with her, overwhelmed me to the point I couldn’t sleep some nights. Add in the nights I envisioned the death of my parents at the hands of Atom Callahan, and it left me one tired, strung out woman.

“It’s not nothing,” he stated, shifting so his body drew closer to mine. He forced me to look at him with a hand under my chin. Pulling my face to him, I couldn’t hold it in. His look was too intense, drawing the truth out of me.

“I keep seeing you with her,” I said quietly. “I can’t get the images out of my head.”

“Sofie,” he said, leaning forward. I thought he’d kiss me, but it seemed too inappropriate for the moment. Instead, he squeezed my chin tighter, as I fought to turn away, and rested his forehead on mine.

“Sofie, it wasn’t like that. Ever.” He exhaled softly on my face. Those who think they need the bite of a snake to sting, have never had a snake breathe on them. The sweetness of the oxygen from him to me was like a drug. I wanted to believe the sincerity in his voice, but I couldn’t give in to venomous lies. I attempted to twist again, fruitlessly, as he was stronger than me.

“Sofie, I’m going to be honest here. I’m so worried I’ve already lost you, there isn’t much else to do but be truthful. I wasn’t faithful before. Before I knew I’d ever see you again. Before I thought I might have a chance with you again. I can’t say it was often, but it was enough that I know that the truth hurts. Hurts your feelings. Hurts our relationship. I didn’t intend to kiss Malinda after the fight. I was pissed that you were late, and I was hyped up, like fights make me. When I saw you, I wanted to strike out, but I also wanted to protect you. I couldn’t let my father see me come for you. I allowed Malinda to claim me like that, as a distraction. It was a bad decision. A very bad decision.”

I snorted again, this time in disgust. It didn’t deter him. His words were digging a hole deep in my heart, and he didn’t stop to notice I was being buried alive. I couldn’t breathe.

“It was a mistake. One of a million I’ve made with you. I don’t think I’ve gotten a handful of times right with you, but I want to make things good,” he pleaded. “I want a million times to make things right.” His voice shifted and so did his leg. It swung over mine, pinning me down, and slipping between me. My core pulsed faster than my heartbeat, but I could not give in. I could not let him seduce me with pretty words. Words that I desperately wanted to believe, and he seemed desperate to deliver.

“I … I just don’t know,” I said. He pulled his forehead up slowly, and dragged his hand down to my neck. His fingers circled my throat then flattened and slipped over my racing heart. My sweatshirt was thick, but there was no way he could miss the rapid thumping inside my chest. He closed his eyes and shifted his leg away from my sensitive parts. His hand remained, for a moment longer, as if he was drawing strength from the beat within me.

He sat up then reached for my hands, dragging me upward. He still wore only the towel, which loosened a little in his shifting, and hung precariously lower on his sexy as hell hips. I had a plaid blanket at the end of my bed, and Cain picked it up. Draping it around his waist, he twisted the material over the towel. He slipped a hand under the plaid, and I groaned at the thought of where that hand was headed. He deck-changed in front of me, removing the towel from under the blanket effortlessly, without exposing an inch of him. He didn’t seem concerned that the blanket still exposed a thick leg, or that the heavy length of him was prominent, hard and erect behind the soft wool. My eyes were directed to that glory and I had to tear them away. He looked like a modern Celtic warrior. I blushed instantly, but he ignored the pink glow over my skin. He held out a hand and I followed him to my couch.

“If it’s okay with you, I’d like to stay until the storm passes,” he said, nodding toward the dark window. “It’s sort of risky on the bike in a torrential downpour.”

“Of course,” I replied, sitting next to him, but not too close, curling a leg under me. I reached for the remote, aimed it at the television and the blue light lit up the room. We remained in silence after that, both of us staring, but not really watching the set.

My mind raced with how bad I’d fucked things up. If I could turn back time; I’d do a thousand things differently. My first thought had been I wouldn’t have married her on a drunken whim, but then I realized that wasn’t true at all. Sofie had been a welcome temptation, when I needed to escape my reality. Accused of killing a man can make one cold and believe he has the power to do so. I was angry enough at the world before that fight, and even more so after it. While I hadn’t killed Montana, I believed that I could have. It seemed to be in my blood when I thought of my father, and what he’d done to Sofie’s parents.

There in laid another thing I wish I could change, but I had no control over. Unbeknown to her, I wanted the investigation reopened, but Kursch repeatedly convinced me against it. My father killed her parents. How sick and wrong was that? Yet here we were, drawn together. Or maybe, it was only I was drawn to her. She was sitting a million miles away from me on this couch in her tiny apartment, and my skin vibrated with her nearness. Every fiber of my being was on alert, sensing she was close, but she was so far away from me. Eventually, I saw her head nod forward. She jerked it back and her eyes sprang open.

“Are you falling asleep?” I teased, implying she was bored with my company. She was clearly tired, but I was just happy to be in her presence.

“No,” she shifted, placing her elbow on the edge of the couch, and propping her head on her hand. She stared at the television, as I did, for a few seconds longer before her head rolled forward again, and it fell off her hand.

“Tired?” I questioned.

“No.” She was a terrible liar, I was learning. Like telling me nothing was on her mind, when clearly she’d shifted from playful, laughing Sofie to Sofie lost in her head. Then telling me what she imagined shredded my heart. I put those images in her head, and I wanted to rip my heart out bare-fisted and throw it to the floor, to be stomped on a hundred times over. Her picturing me with Malinda was my fault. I hated the truth more; I had been with another woman. I’d destroyed my own false vows for fidelity, when I hadn’t considered them false.

When her head lulled forward again, I reached over and wrapped a hand around her back. Tugging her toward me, she shifted so she fell against my side, surprising me with the contact.

“Here,” I said, twisting my body and dragging her to lie between my thighs and rest against my chest.

“Cain,” she muttered, but I shushed her. Brushing back her hair, I stroked over her head and her eyes instantly shut.

“Are you studying too hard?” I teased again.

“I’m just not sleeping well, lately,” she muttered, her voice falling off as her body continued to relax against mine.

I shifted one more time, pushing my body down the couch and stretching out better to accommodate her weight on me. She moved with me, adjusting herself without even opening her eyes. Resting her head over my heart, she fell fast asleep.

I must have drifted off because I woke when I heard her murmur my name. Her eyes were still closed, her body restless. My hand came to her back to settle her as I kissed the top of her head. The storm had stopped a while back, but I didn’t want to mention it. I wasn’t ready to leave. The television was on; the sound so low I couldn’t hear what the actors were saying. She whimpered my name again, and I shushed her softly, brushing back her hair.

The touch of my hand on her forehead made her startle and she sat up, pressing her hands into my chest. Dazed, sleepy eyes looked at me.

“Cain?” Her voice was rough with sleep and sexy as hell because of it. Her eyes instantly filled with liquid and the blue clouded over. The first soft drop splashed onto my abs.

“What is it, love?” I asked, but the tears fell harder as she tenderly closed her eyes, shaking her head in refusal to answer.

“Sofie, my sweet temptation,” I whispered. “I’m sorry.” It was all I could think to say. If I said it a thousand times, it wasn’t going to be enough to mend her heart. To my surprise, she collapsed onto my chest again and slipped her arms around me. She squeezed me tight, her face buried into my skin. Every inch of me was on overload. My heart raced extra beats. My skin prickled with her touch, but her tears; they undid me. My arms slipped around her and I held her pressed to me.

“Sofie, you promised to never let me take advantage of you. But take advantage of me. What do you need from me? I’ll give you anything. I’ll do anything. Just tell me,” I begged. Literally. I needed her to guide me.