Paradise (30 page)

“Why do I always feel like you’re having a conversation with yourself and then remember I’m here? Am I one what?”

“Sorry. Before we stopped, you mentioned the fair damsels who’ve succumbed to George of the Jungle. Are you one of them?”

Robbie laughed. “What do you think?”

“Based on my recent experience, I’m inclined to think there’s some chance you are.”

Robbie winked at him. “You’re just irresistible to every female in the galaxy, George.”

* * * * *

He smiled but didn’t feel it. That wasn’t the answer he wanted. Was he getting through to her at all? Was she capable of opening to the world around her? There was no doubt she liked his friends. No one could fake that much laughter. She seemed to enjoy herself while they roamed around town, although she had tightened up at Marcel’s dress shop.

He pulled off the county road, and they drove in silence. How should he bring up the topic? Should he ease into it or go for the jugular? He debated with himself so intently, he nearly missed the cut-off. Robbie seemed in her own world, staring out the side window, and didn’t notice his sharp turn.

He pulled in at the scenic rest stop and turned off the engine. “Well, here we are.”

Robbie’s head jerked to attention as if she’d been about to fall asleep. “And where is that?”

“I told you. I want to show you something.” He opened his door and climbed out.

Robbie was out of the car but holding her hand out to him. “Let me put the top up. I don’t like the looks of those clouds. And don’t tell me they’re just cirrus clouds. I’ve heard that before.”

Instead of handing over the keys, he slid back in, turned on the ignition and pulled the convertible top into position.

He led her down a well-worn path lined with palmetto bushes and overgrown fronds. Pampas grass grew in unkempt clumps along with wild azaleas, minutes away from bursting into bloom. In the distance, a crow called to its mate, distracting him for a moment from his mission.

He walked slowly but with purpose, unable to look at her. He was afraid -- afraid she didn’t see the beauty surrounding them, afraid she’d have that impatient look in her eyes. That look would tell him better than words that his plan had no chance of succeeding.

The undergrowth gave way to a narrow, rocky beach. The lake, though far from small, was well hidden. As they emerged on the shore, a startled egret quickly flew to safer ground.

“My gosh, it’s beautiful. Look how the clouds are the same dark gray as the water. Is this another secret the locals don’t share with the tourists?”

The vise around his heart loosened a notch. Maybe she was opening to the world around her. Maybe she would agree.

“I was hoping you’d like it.” He pulled her around him, molding her back to his front, circling her in his arms.
God, please let this work.

She turned her head sharply, her body stiffening. “Are there any gators here?”

“No.” He nuzzled the crook of her neck. “No gators here. Even if there were, your Crocodile Hunter would protect you.” He grazed his teeth softly over the love bite he’d given her, vaguely proud of it for marking her as his.

Her sigh encouraged him. Opening his mouth, he gently sucked on the bruise, deepening the color. She sagged, letting him support her weight. When her head lolled against his shoulder, he hugged her tighter.

It’s now or never.

* * * * *

Robbie turned sharply and broke free from his embrace. “Marry you? Are you crazy? How many beers did you have?”

“I only had one beer and you know it. Otherwise, you’d never let me drive your car. And, no, I’m not crazy. Wait, I take that back. I’m crazy about you.”

If he hadn’t just blindsided her, she would have melted at his bad boy smile. He reached for her, but she retreated back a step.

“Slow down, Tarzan. Keep those hands where I can see them. If this is your idea of a joke, it’s in really bad taste.”

She didn’t think it was possible, but his smile grew wider.

“It’s no joke, darlin’. I want to marry you. Today, tomorrow, whatever. This is
Georgia
. We don’t have to wait for blood tests. I just want to get your name on that piece of paper that says you’re mine.”

He advanced, but she held up her hand and danced back two steps. Confounded. She’d never used that word before, but she knew exactly what it meant. Confounded. She was totally and completely confounded. If she’d been the fainting type, now would have been the perfect time to give into a swoon. As it was, she had to settle for trying not to lose her lunch.

“An…Answer me this. Why?”

“Why?” He looked so bewildered, she wanted to smack him upside the head.

“Yes, why? Why me? Why now? Why after only a week?”

“Why not? Isn’t it obvious? I love you.” He took another step toward her. “Now, darlin’, close your mouth. You look like a walleye pike I once hooked.”

Too stunned to react, she allowed him to fold her into his arms. “There now, isn’t this better?” His callused fingers tilted her face as his lips descended. The kiss brushed her lips, promising tender moments like this for a long time to come. He nibbled, then sucked in her bottom lip. “You taste great. We’re gonna be so good together. We are so good together.”

His soft voice and gentle touch seduced her as easily as his tiger eyes. They fit in every important way. On their own, her arms circled his waist and found their way up his back, clutching his shoulders as he deepened the kiss. Oh yeah, they were good together.

Wait a minute. She couldn’t stay. She had a job interview, a business. She was coming off a bad relationship. Eddie was her Rebound Man. This was a fling. No strings. No commitments.

She snuggled closer to him, willing her conscience to take a hike. The things he did with his mouth…

But he lives in
Tiny
Town
. He works in the Black Lagoon.

She broke the kiss and pulled away. “Eddie, stop it. Get a grip.” She willed her heart to stop pounding long enough to catch her breath.

“I’m sorry. I told you from the start that I have -- or I will have -- a job offer in
New York
. I’m going to take it. It’s everything I’ve worked for, everything I’ve dreamed of. All my life, I’ve hated living in small towns. Everyone knowing everything about everybody. I can’t do it again. I’ve worked too hard to get out.”

Her heart tightened at his expression. Hurt. Longing. Disbelief. And worse, accusation. It would be so easy to erase that look, just step back into his warm embrace, snuggle in and never come out.

And then what? Live in another God-forsaken small town? She let out a deep breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

The pain in his eyes went straight to her soul. Did she love him? She couldn’t. She’d known him less than a week. That wasn’t enough time to fall in love. It took weeks, months to get to know someone well enough to fall in love. At best, she was in lust with him. The things he made her body feel went way beyond anything any man had ever done for her.

She crossed her arms, more to protect herself than to ward off the cold air brought on by the coming storm. Why did he just stare at her? Of all the times for him to stop talking.

“You don’t understand,” she fumbled. “I grew up in a hundred small towns like this one. Sooner or later, all those friendly, buddy-buddy people turn on you. They find one little chink in your armor, one little flaw in your personality, and they pick at it and pick at it until there’s nothing left of you.”

“What are you talking about?” He took a step toward her, but she retreated out of his reach. His chest heaved a huge sigh, and he scrubbed his face with his hand.

“You don’t understand. Every town is just like the last one.”

She sagged against a tree. Its rough bark scratched her back through the thin sweater. How could she make him understand what it was like? That queasy feeling she got whenever she drove through a small town. That she may have lived here before. That someone may recognize her. There were so many places she couldn’t remember their names.

“Then, help me understand. Why this obsession with living in the city? Talk to me, babe.”

She sighed. He was so nice. She never wanted to hurt him. He was supposed to enjoy a few days of wild, monkey sex and forget her. Go back to looking for Mrs. McGraw. She shifted her gaze to him then quickly looked away. Why did the thought of Eddie with another woman produce that sharp pain in her stomach?

“My mother, she left home at fifteen. She had to. Oh God, please don’t ask why.” Her voice faltered. The last time she had cried, she’d been seven years old. She’d been hungry. But it had made Mama cry, too. So, she never did again. But now, tears threatened.
Stop it. Only sissies cry
.

“Mama waitressed during the day, but her paycheck and tips weren’t enough to keep us fed and clothed and housed and all. At night, she brought in extra…freelancing.” She raised her eyes to be certain he caught her meaning. He did. She looked out over the lake before continuing.

“All the fine, upstanding men of the town came sniffing around. They treated us like dirt during the day, but they were oh, so ready to see Mama after dark.”

The heat crept up her cheeks. His stare was like a physical caress, but she couldn’t look at him again, couldn’t face the disgust -- or worse -- the pity that would be in his eyes. Instead, she focused on her shoes, the new Nikes he’d bought her this morning.

“The good women of the town always found out. Mama would get fired. No one would hire her. The men would stop coming, and we’d eventually run out of money and move on.”

Thunder rumbled and she glanced out over the lake.
Does it rain every day in this state?
She turned back. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Eddie, his expression still unreadable. He was probably repulsed, wondering how he could have thought he loved her. Oh well, may as well dish out the rest.

“Mama had no idea which
fine
gentleman was my daddy.” She gave a rueful smirk. “By the time Mama knew she was pregnant, she was three towns down the road.”

For a long time, she stared at her feet. She hoped he wouldn’t drive off and leave her, especially in her own car. Two large running shoes came into view. The edge of a hand lifted her chin until she stared into deep amber pools. Drowning in them seemed a welcome option.

“I don’t care who or what your mother was, or your father wasn’t. What happened in the past is where it belongs -- in the past. It’s the future I’m interested in. I think we have something special here. I haven’t felt like this toward a woman since, since never. And it’s not just the sex. I know it sounds impossible, but I’ve fallen --”

“Don’t say it! You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Don’t tell me what I know or don’t know.” His tone was low, inviting, the one he used when he wanted to make love. When he nuzzled her in the night and told her he needed her. “I’ve been with enough women to realize I can’t see myself spending the rest of my life with anyone but you. You knew I wanted a long term commitment. I didn’t want another affair.”

“But you can’t be, you know, the ‘L’ word. I was just the first female who happened along after you decided to follow your big brother’s lead and start your own basketball team.”

“If I’d wanted the first woman who happened along, I could have taken Lou Ann.” His voice still carried its deep, soft tone, but there was an unmistakable edge to it now.

She rubbed her arms, wondering if she’d ever be warm again. The wind had kicked up and small waves lapped onto the shore.
Cirrus clouds, my ass.