Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha (34 page)

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Authors: Roddy Doyle

Tags: #Romance, #Dublin (Ireland) - Fiction, #Friendship - Fiction, #General, #Literary, #Dublin (Ireland), #Bildungsroman, #Fiction, #Friendship

BOOK: Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha
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He’d hit her again and I saw him, and he saw me. He thumped her on the shoulder.
—D’you hear me!?
In the kitchen. I walked in for a drink of water; I saw her falling back. He looked at me. He unmade his fist. He went red. He looked like he was in trouble. He was going to say something to me, I thought he was. He didn’t. He looked at her; his hands moved. I thought he was going to put her back to where she’d been before he hit her.
—What do you want, love?
It was my ma. She wasn’t holding her shoulder or anything.
—A drink of water.
It was daylight out still, too early for fighting. I wanted to say Sorry, for being there. My ma filled my mug at the sink. It was Sunday.
My da spoke.
—How’s the match going?
—They’re winning, I said.
The Big Match was on and Liverpool were beating Arsenal. I was up for Liverpool.
—Great, he said.
I’d been coming in to tell him, as well as getting the drink of water.
I took the mug from my ma.
—Thank you very much.
And I went back in and watched Liverpool winning. I cheered when the final whistle got blown but no one came in to look.
He didn’t slam the door even a bit. I saw him in the glass, waiting; then he was gone.
I knew something: tomorrow or the day after my ma was going to call me over to her and, just the two of us, she was going to say,—You’re the man of the house now, Patrick.
That was the way it always happened.
 
—Paddy Clarke -
Paddy Clarke -
Has no da.
Ha ha ha!
I didn’t listen to them. They were only kids.
 
He came home the day before Christmas Eve, for a visit. I saw him through the glass door again. He was wearing his black coat. I remembered the smell of it when I saw it, when it was wet. I opened the door. Ma stayed in the kitchen; she was busy.
He saw me.
—Patrick, he said.
He moved the parcels he had with him under one arm and put his hand out.
—How are you? he said.
He put his hand out for me to shake it.
—How are you?
His hand felt cold and big, dry and hard.
—Very well, thank you,
1
Isn’t it lovely?
2
Yes.
3
Stick.
4
Stand up.
5
Left - right - left right - left -
6
Sit down.
7
Yes.
8
Hello / God be with you.
9
Toilet.
10
Now.
11
Stand up.
12
Silence.
13
Yes.
14
Have I permission to go to the toilet?
15
No.
16
Every morning.
17
Irish books.
18
One.
19
Sambo in Africa.
20
Good for you.
21
Eejit. answers on the board before nine o’clock and then she’d sit behind her desk and knit.
22
Good.
23
Bags.
24
Now.
25
Left right.

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