Pace Laps (Racing on the Edge Book 10) (12 page)

Something happened when he kissed me though. It happened to both of us. Immediately, we were a tangle of hands racing to find each other and breathing heavily, much like we were twenty-some years ago.

What would have made it perfect would have been the sound of sprint cars behind us, but The Eagles’ “Life In The Fast Lane” worked too because we were in the fast lane.

Jameson unbuckled his belt and then his jeans, pushing them down just enough to free himself, gliding his hand from base to tip twice. I always loved when he touched himself.
Fuck.
It got me every damn time.

There was part of him teasing me. I could feel it. He wanted to make me beg, see how badly I wanted it.

He raised an eyebrow. “Can you put your leg on my shoulder?”

I stared down at the position of our bodies and the potential to fall on the uneven ground. “Probably not.” And then I sighed. “Are we getting too old for this?”

“Fuck no.” Shaking his head, he spread my legs a little further. “Don’t overthink this. We haven’t lost anything.”

I knew we hadn’t, but still, I wanted to fuck him like I used to, all wild and out of control but there had to be some limitations now. Damn old bodies.

As he entered me, he whispered against my heated skin, “I love… so much….” With the tenderness behind them, tears welled in my eyes, overcome by this, him, us, what he did for me. His hands moved to my ass while both my legs curled around his waist tighter, my heels into him, feeling him flexing forward.

I watched the movements in his chest, his stomach, the look on his face, the way he gazed down at me, so in love. Kissing me deeply, sliding in and out as he tried to keep himself steady holding me against the stage with his movements. It wasn’t easy, but the friction was exactly what I needed.

The fire inside me built quickly up my thighs and into the pit of my stomach as my orgasm hit me. I lay back against the stage, my eyes on the stars as the pleasure raked through my body. Jameson hunched forward in a desperate attempt to hold off his until I was done.

My knees would have buckled at how good this was, how badly I needed him, but I was captured by the night’s sky. Thousands of stars shined down on me, patterns I couldn’t make out, but I knew then I’d be okay. Something told me I would.

His pace quickened when I moaned into his ear, shaking around him, frantically clawing at his shoulders to keep him near me. My heart beat against his, thumping wildly in my ears.

He made just two more movements before his body tensed, his back tight, fingers digging into my ass as he drove into me once more.

“You have no fucking idea how sexy you are,” he breathed, slumping against me and the stage. His hands and arms still shook as he tried to control his breathing.

Kissing the side of his face, I cupped his cheeks and made him look at me, the sky lit behind him. He looked at me, flushed skin under the moonlight, swollen lips. “Do you feel dirty now?”

Giggling, I kissed him. “I do, thank you.”

Jameson always knew how to make everything right. I wasn’t sure what tomorrow would bring, but I knew whatever happened, tonight would be with me forever and I had Jameson to thank for that.

Force Variation – A process to measure differences in tire/wheel consistency. Determines the highest portion of the tread in order to match it up to the lowest portion of the wheel for best performance and minimize tire/wheel assembly vibration.

“I’ll be here. Always. Until this stops beating… I’ll be here. And when that happens, you’ll be here, with me in my heart until I stop breathing. If you let go, I’ll hold on.”

Why did I say that? I wasn’t even sure. I even went as far as sending her dirty text messages all morning of all the things I was going to do to her when she was better. I guessed maybe it was my way of distracting the both of us.

They came and told us she’d be heading to surgery in a little while, and Arie nodded for me to go in.

I must have looked like a drugged man when I came out of there. I certainly felt like one. If only I had the numbness that followed. The gravity of the situation, the outcome I could be left with had sunk in.

“Never give up on our life,” she said, her eyes dancing over my face, memorizing every detail.

Just as the words were whispered to me, it was if they stole my breath in my lungs. I couldn’t do this without her.

Leaning in, I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You’ve never known me to give up on anything, have you?”

She smiled tenderly and adjusted her thick white blanket over her chest. “No. I haven’t. But it’s just a reminder.” And then she flipped the blanket back away. “Would it make you feel better if I showed you my boobs?”

My chest shook with an emotional chuckle. “I don’t know. Show me and lets find out.”

Of course she, but it was enough to relax me for a minute at least. That was until the male nurse came back to take her away and saw. Given, he’d probably see a lot more during her surgery, I was still half tempted to whip out a sharpie and sign my name over their markings on her. Just so they knew regardless, she was mine.

Narrowing my eyes at the poor kid, I leveled him with a glare. “You look at my wife’s chest, and I knock your fucking teeth in.”

Turning on his heel, he jetted out of the room.

Sway shook her head. “You’re so mean to people.”

“He’s got no business seeing that.” Matter of fact, I’d sign my name after all. Taking the marker they had beside the bed for when they’d made their marks earlier, I decided to let them know just who she belonged to.

She let me do it too, and laughed while I wrote on her chest right below her collarbone.

“There. They should know now.” I put the cap back on the marker and tossed it back on the tray.

She rolled her eyes adjusting her gown. “So possessive.” Leaning forward, she kissed my nose. “And adorable.”

“I love you,” I told her, feeling the emotion creep up, the lump in my throat rising when the doctor rapped his knuckles against the door.

Sway’s emotion surfaced too, eyes filling with tears. “I love you, too. Now go wait for me. I’ll be out of the garage here soon.”

My shoulders shook with light laughter as I stood from her bed, her hand slipping from mine as I winked at her.

As she was being wheeled away, I flashed another glare at the nurse, a warning. A look of pure fright crossed his features, and at once, he darted the other way.

I KNEW SHE was alive and would pull through, I did, but it didn’t stop the disorientation, the frustration that she was in the hands of someone else.

I want to be in control. Some would say I was a control freak, and I wouldn’t disagree with them. Most race car drivers were. It was usually the reason they enjoyed it so much because they were controlling the uncontrollable. Speed.

My mind flooded with memories, ones of us younger, invincible, living on the edge of being out of control.

…

“Sway,” my voice was failing me. “Don’t go, please,” I begged. I wanted her to look at me; then she’d see that I didn’t want Chelsea, but she refused, making a vital effort not to see me.

“Why?” Her shoulders shrugged. “Why should I stay?”

“I ... don’t want you to go,” I admitted. “Not like this.”

She let go of my hand and leaned against the counter, her back still to me. “Why, Jameson?”

I had a temper, that was no lie, but when it came to Sway—and letting her go—I knew no bounds. I lost all bearing and threw the piston toward the wall.

“Fuck, Sway,” I tried to control my voice and keep from yelling at her, but it was useless. “What do you want me to say? Just fucking tell me what you want to hear and I’ll say it. I’ll say whatever you want me to!”

…

“Is she ....” I couldn’t finish, gasping.

Please tell me she’s still alive! Please tell me my angel is still breathing!

“Son, they are doing everything they can for her and the baby.” His face was solemn. “I’m sorry.”

“Dad,” I warned.

He closed his eyes for a long moment before speaking in a low, strained voice. It was hard for him, too.

“For now... they are both... stable.” He took a deep breath.

He didn’t look very fucking convincing. If there was ever a point in my life where I thought enough was enough, it was right then. I couldn’t handle this. I couldn’t.

…

“Jameson!” Sway growled. “You need to knock that shit off.”

“It doesn’t fucking matter anyway,” I mumbled inertly.

“Why not?”

“It just doesn’t.” I fumbled with the hem of my shirt. “The season has already gone to shit. I want it to be over with.”

“Jameson Anthony Riley, you need to stop this and pull yourself together!”

“How?” I shouted back, instantly regretting the tone of my voice.

“Okay....” Sway paused for a long moment, and I knew she was pissed. “I will put up with a lot of shit from you, Jameson, but I will not sit back and watch you throw your career away because of that douche bag. I’ve been by your side, watching, waiting, and supporting you through it all. So for you to give up now, what does that say about us? What does that say to our son?” Sway’s rant stopped briefly as she sighed. “I can’t watch you do this... I won’t sit back and watch you do this to yourself. I get it... I really do. I feel the pain as well. I know how this has left its mark on us, but I can’t let it destroy me. We can’t let it destroy us. If we do... if we let it destroy us, he’s won. They’ve won.”

…

So many times she had brought me back to reality. But I couldn't do the same for her. All I could do was wait for someone else to tell me if she lived or died.

“Dad, are you okay?” Arie asked, drawing my attention from my thoughts.

“I’ve….” I took a shaky breath, my chin shaking. Fuck, I couldn’t even keep it together for a few minutes. “She has to come through this. I could never do it without her. I can’t do this without her. I’ll never make it. I don’t care what they take from her as long as they give her back to me.”

Rubbing my back, she tried to calm my dismay. “The doctors are hopeful everything will be fine. We need to feel the same, Dad.”

I couldn’t. I just… couldn’t.