Owning Regina: Diary of my unxpected passion for another woman (17 page)

When people see two women riding a motorcycle together, or holding hands for that matter, they generally think that the two women are best friends out having a fun time together. I doubt “lesbian” comes to mind right away.  Even for me… whenever I would see two women out having a happy time together with a little physical contact, I would never think that there is more to the story. But that was before I met Regina! 

Now, when I look around at paired girls in the city, I run scenarios in my head; Does that little one lick the bigger one’s pussy while she is handcuffed and gagged? Are they straight like me and got hit with the love bug that suddenly turned them gay? Do they like it rough and nasty? Do their parents know about them?

As of today, it has been exactly one month to the day that Boyfriend X stood me up on my birthday. Fucker. It has been one month since I learned that I meant nothing to that self-absorbed douche who never got turned on by me.  It was strange because wherever I went, guys would always flirt with me and light up when I walked into a room. Then once they started talking to me, understood that I have a career, understood that I make money, understood that I have a brain, my appearance suddenly seemed to dip on their rating scale. Sexy and feminine is hot… unless the woman is independent, enthusiastic, and thriving.  Then she’s just a plain threat to the penis.

With BX, I never felt beautiful or desired. In a relationship, that sort of apathy toward a woman makes her play all kinds of mind games with herself.  Am I ugly? Does he want someone younger? Do I have some lines or cellulite that turns him off? Do I deserve a guy less handsome that is more of a match for my appearance? Am I dating out of my range?

Cut to Regina! She adores me and worships me.  Well, maybe she adores me and
worships
her bitchy mistress.  It is the exact opposite of BX’s apathy. It is full-pathy!  Suddenly I feel beautiful again. I feel sexy and self-assured. One month ago my self-esteem was in the toilet. I doubted myself in a terrible way. The only partial remedy was to throw myself at my work and fill up every dark place with compliments from my co-workers and bonus paychecks from my inspired account handling.

Now I’m a different person. My whole life is glowing! When I look in the mirror, I still see my flaws, but I see a face that somebody loves and wants. My imperfections become part of the rich experience of Meg, instead of shameful reminders of her inadequacies.  Regina makes me love myself.

I couldn’t help but wonder… what if a guy had treated me the way Regina does, adoring me and longing to spend another second together? Would I ever have met someone who inspires me to be my true self? Would I ever be able to throw myself sexually into a relationship without feeling ashamed about being kinky? Would I ever have considered crossing the stigmatized gender line to be with a woman?

Whatever the case, a single month has brought the surprise of my life. I have discovered that being in love transcends gender and old models about how life is supposed to work.  I know that sounds dopey and cliché, but I feel like a different person since meeting Regina.

I have never felt freer or more in tune with my sexuality.  She has no dick, but she has so much more.  To share my kink with someone who doesn’t judge me is the most amazing thing. She probably feels the same way. Ninety-five percent of people would be repulsed by real BDSM, the kind that is not based on gimmicky notions of vinyl corsets and black dominatrix wigs with the Bettie Page bangs.

So there I was, holding tight on to Regina as we bopped around the city on her electric scooter having the time of our lives. It felt like the most beautiful city on Earth, vibrant and thrilling. We zipped over to the Marina district, which immediately reconfirmed my love of the city. The fog was smothering the Golden Gate Bridge but the sun was everywhere else. Alcatraz was winking at me in the sunbeams. Windsurfers and sailboats were zigzagging around the bay.

I had a micro fantasy of renting a sailboat and restraining Regina below deck in the cabin while sharing drinks with a few friends on deck as we sail the bay. Of course, the guests would have no idea my slave was on board. Every so often, I would disappear to the ladies room where I would take a detour by the slave’s quarters to fondle, kiss, and torture Regina.

Then I had another micro fantasy about Alcatraz. See, when people are kinky like me, almost anything in daily life can kick you to a feverish lust. So about Alcatraz, I’d love to be mega-rich and rent the island for a full week.  I would drag Regina into that compound in manacles and shackles. I could lock her up in the darkest cell and be her fucked up prison guard. She would have to sleep on the cold concrete floor with no blankets with her neck chained to the floor.

Occasionally, I would enter through the giant iron door and give her a meal of plain rice… after she polished my boot with her tongue and begged for a bite to eat.  Sometimes, I would take her to my warden quarters and lavish her with a two-hour vacation of a hot shower, toasty flannel jammies, a cheese plate, and a bottle of merlot.  And I would rub her delicately and show her the softest side of my warden personality.  Then it would be off to her cell again where she would have no light and would not know weather it was day or night.  She would not know if she would ever escape. I would be her lifeline to human touch. I would own her.

Poof! Fantasy over as she commented, “Shit. We’re running out of the charge on my scooter. We better stop for breakfast and charge up.”  So we crossed our fingers and hoped to make it to Rose’s Café.  Too bad! The bike pooped out two blocks away at Greenwich and Fillmore. “We’ll push it,” she resolved. We both got off the bike, two cute girls in high boots and bedhead hair, and she began to push the bike.  I immediately jumped in to take over. She had no business looking that beautiful and pushing a motorcycle.

But I wasn’t pushing for three seconds when a fine gentleman from the street, briefcase in hand, jumped to our rescue. He said if we wouldn’t mind holding his briefcase, he would push the bike. And so it went. It seemed like the sight of two girls, a dead bike, and a businessman was an interesting sight; We got quite a few looks.

After a few minutes, we made it to Union St.  We would be able to coast downhill the last block to the café. We rubbed the guy’s ego a bit with our feminine wiles, and he was on his way with a smile.  Oh, and he turned around for one parting shot directed toward Regina: “Your boots are magnificent! Absolutely great!” Regina responded through a coy smile, “Thank you. I borrowed them from her (pointing to me).  She has a boot fetish and wanted to see me in them.”  The guy delighted in trying to process this, then gave a wave and was off. The kindness of strangers!

We hopped on the bike and rolled a little above walking speed down the slight grade to the café. I asked Regina what we were supposed to do with the bike after breakfast. She said, “No worries. Watch.”  She lifted the seat to reveal a little compartment which held a seventy-five foot extension cord. She grabbed the plug and sauntered into the café. A moment later, she came out without the plug in hand and a telling smile. The bike could charge while we dined and then we would have enough juice to make it to my house for a proper charge.

Once we were seated and ordered, Regina had a request:

REGINA

Meg, Let’s not talk about the weather here, ok?

ME

Why, is something wrong?

REGINA

That whole scene last night wiped me out… emotionally.

ME

Is there anything you want to talk about? Are we cool?

REGINA

(S
haring a warm and sincere smile)

Everything’s great!! I’m in heaven with you. I love being your object!! I love the game!! It’s like yoga, I love it so much…  but you can’t do yoga all day… or dessert for that matter.

ME

I getcha.

REGINA

And maybe I’m a little afraid of losing you to the mistress. I need both of you, not just one or the other.

ME

And I need both of you! But I’m extra horny these days because you have come to my sexual rescue and allowed me to experience a fullness that I have never known in my life!  Thanks, Regina.

I leaned over and kissed her briefly on the lips.  That one little kiss sent the electricity of hope and caring through my whole body.  I was in love with this woman.  She must have felt the same thing because she took my hand from the table and held it close to her cheek as if she was hugging me dearly.

“Hello, Girls.” interrupted an unknown male voice from the side of the table. We turned to see a couple of lads looking at us with pickup lines ready to roll off their tongues. They were a couple of dot-commers, you know, in their 20’s and loaded with stock options about to go public in a major way.  I was able to size them up so quickly because they were very confident, but very nerdy, and accessorized on the high-end. One’s shoes were one-of-a-kind leather booties that felt like Nieman Marcus. The other had designer prescription glasses and a Tag Heuer watch.

Dot-commers like these have just enough moxi to come out with this: “Say, would you two like to have some lunch guests?”  Nieman Shoes chimed in: “ By ‘guests’, he means we’ll pick up the tab.”  Regina and I shot each other a look and approved the deal in our glance. We simultaneously gestured for them to pull up chairs. Nieman Shoes continued:

MR. NIEMAN SHOES

I’m Josh; this is Dave.

The conversation continued:

REGINA

(Extending her hand)

Pleasure.

JOSH

How about a bottle of wine for the table?

ME

It’s lunchtime.  I think we’ll pass.

DAVE

We saw you on the scooter and thought we should stop by and say “hi.”

ME

We’re glad you did.

DAVE

(To Regina)

Is your name
Wi-fi? Because I’m feeling a connection.

REGINA

Yeah, I’m feeling it... as strong as a dialup modem.

(The guy’s face turns dejected)

Just kidding.

(Gesturing to the empty seats)

Sure.
Pull up a chair.

ME

Actually, I didn’t give her permission for that.

DAVE

Whoa. What are you, her owner?

REGINA

As a matter of fact, she is.

JOSH

(Thinking it’s all a joke)

She owns you?

REGINA

Yes. She certainly does.

JOSH

You mean
, you’re her boss?

ME

In a manner of speaking, yes.

REGINA

She even told me what to wear today.
She has a boot fetish.

DAVE

Wow. Ok. 
Well how about you ask your “boss” if you can give me your phone number?

Regina and I both start laughing. Then:

ME

Awesome!!! You can come over and give us both backrubs
.

(C
hanging to an unsmiling tone)

We’re a couple.

You should have seen both guys’ eyes widen! They were a little embarrassed too.
But Josh was quick on his feet to save face:

JOSH

And an amazing-
looking couple you are! Too bad people like us will never get to shower you with the man’s love you deserve.

ME

Thanks. W
e’ll enjoy showering together instead.

REGINA

S
he’s not really my boss. You can’t own a person.

DAVE

Either way, you two are gorgeous.
Your beauty rivals the graphics in “Call of Duty”